


Throne

by QueenOfALotOfDifferentWorlds



Series: The Cass Pirk Novels [1]
Category: Fantasy - Fandom, Original Work, Original fantasy - Fandom
Genre: (Genre Typical), (Mostly Genre Typical), Action, Adventure, Angst, Blood and Violence, Breaking the fourth wall from time to time, Denial, Destiny, Family, Found Family, Friendship, From Enemy to Acquaintances to maybe Tolerable, Heavy Sarcasm (lots and lots of it), Hurt and comfort, I'm a sucker for Happy Endings just so you know, Internal Monologue, Killing, Loss, Magic, Manipulation, Mentioning of Child Neglect, Mentioning of Self-Harm and Suicidal Thoughts, Mythical Beings and Creatures, Panic Attacks, Romantic Love is NOT a Main Topic, Royalty, Self-Discovery, Self-Esteem Issues, Sometimes not so Happy Topics - but always story relevant, Swearing (a lot), There will be LGBT+ couples eventually, Unwanted Destiny, Unwanted Responsibilities, mentioning of child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-08-01 23:19:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 132,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16293821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfALotOfDifferentWorlds/pseuds/QueenOfALotOfDifferentWorlds
Summary: Once upon a time, there was a Queen; she was kind and patient and good. And then everything went to hell.Cass should have known that her luck would turn on her. After barely escaping her family, life rewards her with a magical castle, 'friends' that will probably kill her the first chance they get and a coming war. And she had thought her life as a Dragonslayer had been stressful.Cass Pirk, heir of the Bloody Rose, is supposed to become the next leader of the Dragonslayers. Their mission is clear: kill everything that isn't human.Cass runs away, trying to leave the supernatural world and her blood-crazed family behind her. When ancient magic gets a hold of her, she is presented with a new destiny: saving those she has hunted and killed all her life. Branded with the Runes of the Queen, Cass is stuck with fighting a war alongside those who both want to serve the Queen and hate her very guts. She shouldn't care that they need her help, but her damned conscience isn’t helping.





	1. Be nice to the Castle (it's very playful)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone,  
> this is the first time I post any of my stories... Therefore I'm happy and nervous and can't wait to read your comments :)
> 
> Throne is the first book of the Cass Pirk Novels. I'm currently writing on the second book.  
> I will post a chapter every week, so subscribe if you are interested to learn what (bad) things will happen next to Cass and the others :)
> 
> If you are interested, I made a cover: https://queenofalotofdifferentworlds.tumblr.com/image/179053270413
> 
> Info: I rewrote the first chapter!

I was standing in front of the bulletin board in a café in a small town when a flyer caught my eye.

_HELPER NEEDED_

_Elderly woman looking for companionship. A hand with shopping and cleaning._

_Board and food are free. Salary negotiable._  

I smiled to myself as I took the ad from the board. No one would ever suspect _me_ of helping an old woman shop and clean. It was perfect.

With the last of my money, I hailed a taxi. The backseat was sticky and smelled strongly of industrial cleaner. The driver, an older guy with a shaved head, insisted that there wasn't a house on the road I told him as the address but he started driving when I told him that wasn’t his fucking problem.

Having time to think was never a pleasurable thing for me but there you go. It was clear to me when everything had gone wrong – definitely the day of my birth. It wasn't that I wished I hadn't been born – even if I could see the merits of it – but given the choice, I would not have opted for a family full of madness.

Instead of baking cookies, I was taught to brew poisons. Dressing up on Halloween as a monster had been replaced with slaughtering them nearly every day of the year. Everyone in my family was a Dragonslayer. At least, that was what the employment contract said, which our clients had to sign if they accepted our atrociously exorbitant prices. It was true that most humans didn't notice the Unmenschen, but some did and they were usually terrified of them. What some people called "alien sightings" were actually the Unmenschen in their true forms and a lot of people in mental hospitals were there because they had seen something real and had been stupid enough to talk about it. The Unmenschen walked amongst us humans, except most people just didn't realize that the person standing behind them in line was more beast than human. Or the girl in the bar was more mythological creature than a pretty lady.

The point is, some people see the truth and some know at least something about it. If they have a problem, they call us. Or write an email.

As I told you, it's no surprise to learn that I was running from my family. This decision wasn't difficult to make as I would never have stayed for my nineteenth birthday, the special day that I would receive _the gift_ from my family. The only person I ever trusted disappeared a year before and had either forgotten his promise or had no way to fulfil it. He knew I would flee on my own if he didn't show, and two weeks before my birthday I did. I dumped my phone, grabbed all the cash I could get my hands on and the few belongings I cared for – mostly knives, daggers and an old battered leather jacket – and disappeared.

That was almost three months ago, and I was glad that they hadn't found me yet; I stayed clear of cameras and only used cash and fake names if I had to speak to anyone. Even so I was afraid that they would find me. Luckily my family didn't socialize with… well anybody. Beside the Pirks, there were a few other Dragonslayer families, but most weren't as committed as my family was. It's a nice way to say brutal and fanatic. Melrose _the Bloody Rose_ Pirk, also known as my grandmother, was notorious for the monster blood she loved to spray far and wide. And she wasn't exactly popular within the family either, whom she hardly treated any better. She was poison to everyone she met. And that was probably one of the many reasons why we weren't popular with the other Dragonslayers or anyone else who valued their lives.

Even as I stayed cautious, I was thankful for the good luck. For the first time ever, I was sure I would be able to get away from my family and the curse of my name. I would be able to leave the supernatural world behind me. It's unnecessary to tell you that the supernatural world wouldn't let me go so easily.

Three months on the run, travelling almost invisible from city to city, my money was spent and I needed a job for food and shelter. Precisely the reason I was going to play the maid for a couple of weeks.

I got out at an abandoned bus stop. After I paid the driver, I glanced at the date on the timetable stuck behind withered plastic. The timetable probably hadn't changed since the seventies, or I guess, whoever decided it had been a good idea to put a bus stop in the middle of a forest, had accepted that it had been a terrible idea and forgotten about it.

I looked around. The street in front of me was obviously well used; in the short time I was there, three cars had passed me. To the left of the bus stop, I saw an opening in the thick bushes growing between large trees. The stone path was just wide enough for two people walking side by side, but by no means wide enough for a car.

It was slightly weathered and seemed to lead deep into the forest. Even though it was only afternoon, the tall trees blocked out the weak spring sun. The first wildflowers and grass grew at the side of the path and between the broken stones of it, but they appeared colourless. A thicket of bushes completed the depressing view. It all looked like it was waiting for something, as if it was holding its breath for something I couldn't put my finger on. Maybe I was just imagining things. After all, it was only the beginning of April and the world wasn't back to full colour after the harsh winter.

I walked on the broken path, trying not to step on the flowers that grew between the shattered stone path even though the sun never touched them. Maybe that was the reason that they lacked colour. Darkness didn't scare me, even if I should know it better, because I knew what lurked in the shadows. Okay, I wasn't afraid of that either, but most of the time it was disgusting, and blood was so damn hard to wash out of clothes, especially if it was green, blue, golden or black. And I couldn't always burn my clothes. I would have to walk the streets butt naked by the end of the week.

Two hours later, I was still walking along the stone path, wishing I had brought my iPod with me. I had dumped it along with everything else that could have been used to track me. The scenery changed slowly. The trees were still tall, but the bushes grew thinner and the flowers were more colourful. I had learned from Little Red Riding Hood's mistakes, but apart from the fact that I was in the middle of the forest and the shadows were getting longer, I was probably nowhere close to my goal. Maybe I should have listened to the taxi driver, but I was sure that I would find that old lady. Even if I mistrusted nearly everyone and anything, I trusted my guts and they were sure that I would find something.

After another hour, I was seriously thinking about doing something seriously stupid, like using my very limited knowledge of magic, but then the path opened up and gave me a glimpse of a castle. Not a white Disney palace for pretty princesses and their dreams of true love, with battlements and pretty waving flags and fanfares and a bridge, but a remnant of the Middle Ages. There were battlements and bay windows, but they were made of heavy, uneven, weathered stone.

I glanced at the castle. It was almost too quiet around here. I hadn't heard birds for some time, and something here reeked of old powerful magic. There weren't any signs of tracks on the stone path and even if I didn't want to fight whomever lived here, I was curious.

I had to repress a snort of mirth. No way was I going through those doors. Heavy stone like that meant the place was old. And well, if it was old, there was every chance that there were some inhabitants waiting to greet me. And it wouldn't be humans, I was sure of that. My traitorous gut told me as much and I believed it, even if it had just betrayed me. I turned away, shaking my head, before realizing it would mean another few hours trudging alone through the steadily darkening forest. Plus, I was hungry.

A couple hundred years back, almost every other town had a castle and someone who ruled the townspeople, it was possible that this was just a human castle. It was unlikely but… I shook my head. Hadn't I just thought of the old magic all but thrumming in the air? Something or somebody powerful was here and the magic was calling me.

My hand touched one of my blades hidden beneath my leather jacket. I really shouldn't go looking for trouble, but I wanted to know what was happening here. Who had placed the ad? What wanted to lure someone here? And wasn’t it my duty to protect humans even if I wasn’t a Dragonslayer anymore? What was I saying: It should be my duty _because_ I wasn’t a Dragonslayer anymore.

I exhaled sharply, straightening my spine. My curiosity would, sooner or later, be the death of me. "Okay," I looked searchingly at the castle. "I won't hurt you if you don't hurt me."

The closer I got to the castle, the less intimidating it looked. The stone remained dark and sharp-edged, but it looked less dilapidated and much more impressive. The path became easier to use, with fewer cracks in the stone and hardly any weeds between them.

The pull of the magic became more pronounced with every step and even if I was proud of my fearlessness most of the time, I had to question my life choices in the near future. Who would follow magic that obediently if they knew that's what the magic wants? Me, apparently.

I climbed the steps to the gigantic oak doors with strange symbols carved into the dark wood. It was at least twice my size, and each door was at least three meters wide. I took the last step toward the doorbell and hesitated. How much of my decision had been influenced by the magic? How sure was I that I could fight whatever hid behind these doors? I felt a prickle on the back of my neck, and the magic loosened its grip on my will for just a second. I took a step back, ready to turn around and run, when the pull increased and I forgot my previous objections.

I reached out to ring the bell, but hesitated again. I had the strange feeling that something big was about to happen, something important, but I couldn't follow those thoughts, as if they were hidden in white fog. What was I doing here? I tried to think, tried to remember but the buzzing in my head increased. A warmth flooded through my gut, numbing the stabbing feeling.

My hand was still hovering above the bell when the wing doors swung silently inward.

"Did you not see the bell?" A voice asked sternly from the darkness.

"Um…" Something in the voice sent a shiver down my spine, a fact that worried me more than the voice itself. Both were swallowed by the white fog, even if something kept nagging in the back of my mind.

"You made me wait. That is very rude."

Out of the shadows stepped an old lady. Her movements were smooth and graceful, as if she were weightless, even as she stood upright like she had no joints. Her skin had an unnatural glow to it, as though she was standing in direct sunlight and her eyes were a deep-sea green. She was probably a Nymph with magical abilities. I couldn’t understand why most humans didn’t notice Unmenschen when they saw them. They weren’t invisible! Were they really not paying attention to their surroundings? The fact that I almost missed the slight flicker in the air around her was quite humbling. She was hiding her true form, or at least some of it.

"Are you sure I…" I tried to hide my confusion and how difficult it was to speak. 

"Absolutely. You are Cassandra Melrose Pirk."

Those words stabbed right through the fog. My mouth fell open and I stared at her. My hand snapped to a dagger at my side, even quicker than my jaw dropped.

"I knew your grandmother, Mel, an eternity ago." Her face twisted and now I understood my shudder. This Nymph had the same 'mimicry' as Melrose, the same disappointment and the same anger reflected in her features.

"She doesn't let people call her Mel," I said, still struggling with the increasing numbness that tried to swallow my mind again. The pull of the magic was steadily expanding, and I could almost feel my resistance slip away. I focused on her resemblance to the woman that had raised me to hold onto at least a few clear thoughts of rebellion. I had trained to withstand magic like this, but I had never tested my abilities against such strong forces. I was losing.

The green eyes pierced me. "As I said, I knew her long ago, when she was still Mel."

"How do you know me?" I forced the words out as if talking would loosen her grip on me. Another wave of warmth flooded through my guts and my muscles relaxed.

"I've been waiting for you." She turned around smoothly and went back into her castle, without sparing me or my dagger even a second glance. "Do you know where your first name comes from, Cassandra?"

I hesitated for a heartbeat. She was a Nymph, not a real danger, no matter what kind she was; on the other hand, one should not approach Nymphs too thoughtlessly, as they usually had something up their sleeves. But why would she want to hurt me? She had waited for me. I let go of the dagger and followed the call of the magic. As soon as I took the first step the buzzing in my head lessened and something resembling contentment quieted the last of my resistance.

"It was my great-grandmother's name."  I was off one or two greats, but who was counting? With quick steps, I was by her side following her deeper inside the castle.

"What do you know about her?"

I hesitated. As much as I hated my family, it wasn't right to betray secrets to an Unmensch. 

"Mel claimed Cassandra was the founder of your honourable family, did she not? Of your calling to kill everyone Paien?"

It took me a second to recognise the word, the fog in my head slowing my thoughts. Unmenschen called themselves Paien, or to be more precise: Dragonslayers called Paien Unmenschen. It had been nearly a decade since I learned that the word _Unmenschen_ was in fact a viciously evil slur against everything not human. As my lovely granny put it: _“To call them monsters would be too good for them. They aren’t worth the blade you are killing it with.”_ That was probably the reason we called ourselves Dragonslayers. As if any of us could ever be mistaken for someone out of legends or fairy tales. We weren’t forces fighting for good. We had no shining armour and only protected those who could pay us. 

"Pretty much." I nodded.

She shook her head but went on unaware. "I should not have let her go. Perhaps things would be different, but I was too late." She swung open a door to the right and walked through. "This is the dining room."

The dining room was gigantic and very tastefully decorated. In the centre stood a table with seven chairs, the one at the head of the table was slightly taller than the others. I stretched my hand out and touched the dark table. My palm smoothed over the polished wood. I had never felt as light and content as I did right now.

"Here is the kitchen." The Nymph pointed to a door and walked across a corridor.

"Too late?" I tried to restart our conversation. Whatever happened here, I needed the information. "Why did you come too late? What did Melrose do?" I tried to continue the conversation, but my voice faltered. Why was I talking to her again? We walked through a breath-taking hall, full of paintings and a charming wall painting of a forest.

"That was a long time ago." She glanced suspiciously at me and started walking even faster than before. I had to hurry behind her. The castle had to be even bigger than it looked from the outside. I tried to remember all the branches, but I was uncertain if I could do it. The thought that it was important to remember crossed my mind with an urgency I couldn't understand. Seemingly indifferent, the Nymph named hallways and rooms and their uses without so much as taking a breath. 

"What's your name?" Hadn't I asked that before? I couldn't remember. My neck prickled again and I glanced back, but all I could see were the beautiful halls we had just crossed. 

"I represent the mistress of this castle." She led me through a corridor and opened an impressive wing door. "This is your suite."

"My-," I started, but was interrupted by her.

"This is your office."

Was I going to stay here? I followed her gestures towards the room and forgot whatever thought had tried to get through the fog in my mind.

The office was a large room with a grand window, the walls were covered with books up to the ceiling. It looked like two doors had just been pushed between the books.

"In the books, you'll find everything you need to know. The books on the desk contain the basic knowledge you need to have."

I let my gaze wander over the desk, which stood in front of the window wall. Books were stacked on it and covered it in layers. It was not that I was reluctant to read, but it would take me probably years of reading to memorize all that information. Something like a scream echoed in my mind, a warning pulsing through me. I swayed on my feet and had to brace myself with a hand on one of the shelves beside me as dizziness made me close my eyes for a second.

"Um…"

"This is your bedroom." The Nymph pushed another door open gesturing for me to follow her. I shook my head to clear it from the dizziness and followed her obediently to a room with a bed large enough to accommodate at least four people. "Go through the left door to your bathroom. On your right is your wardrobe."

"Um…" I tried to ask something, but as soon as I opened my mouth the thought had been washed away leaving nothing in its wake.

"That is not an intelligent response." She remarked, giving me a look I couldn't interpret. I shrugged it off; I'd grown up with worse glares than that.

"It wasn't meant to be." I mumbled. Something stirred in my mind and an unpleasant feeling flickered through my mind. I wasn't a tourist visiting a castle to take photographs, was I? I needed to… The pressure in my head got worse and one of my hands shot up, to press against my temples. A sick feeling was growing in the depths of my stomach.

"The secret passageway is behind this hyacinth." The voice of the Nymph sounded urgent as she crossed the room with brisk steps.

"Secret…?" I began questioning as she pressed onto a small hyacinth blossom of stone, almost drowned in the mass of stone flowers that rose over the walls. As soon as her fingers touched the flower, the stone creaked softly and swung almost silently to the side.

The sick feeling intensified. It was so hard to think! 

"Follow me."

I followed her into the narrow but clean stone hallway. 

"And you have no name?" It was important. I needed to know. Bits and pieces of thoughts penetrated the fog in my mind and I raised my eyes to meet hers.

"Not one that has a meaning." She gave me an unreadable look and I stumbled when another wave of dizziness washed over me.

She stopped at a crossroad. "On the right, you come to the rooms of your entourage. On the left, the corridor goes deeper into the castle. You can look at it another time." Without further explanation, she just followed the little path ahead.

"Who is the mistress of this castle?" My voice sounded hoarse in my ears and I dug my nails deep in the skin of my hand. This was important information I needed to know. I swallowed hard, trying to not throw up. My body was trying to fight, adrenaline was spiking in my blood.

"Patience."

"Funny name."

She glanced back at me and I hid all my feelings behind a mask of calm. A thought was forming in my mind. It was just outside of my reach, but it wouldn't take me much longer to… I stumbled again, trying hard not to gag.

"Why did you wait for me?" I asked as soon as I was sure I could control my voice.

"Do you think your grandmother contacted me?"

"No." The Bloody Rose would never have been in contact with an Unmensch without killing it, even if it was an old friend and that couldn't be possible, she would never have befriended a monster. A spike of disgust cleared my head a little. Melrose had never been a biscuit-baking grandmother. She was a bat-shit crazy fanatic as well as a sadist. To her, only death and money mattered. In that order.

The Nymph's steps slowed down to a halt.

"Wrong turn?" I asked, attempting to feign a casual tone. Grasping at the thoughts crossing my mind was like clutching at straws. The narrow hallway was starting to freak me out. The adrenaline in my blood demanded space and escape.

She gave me an icy look. "You're too impatient." She put her hand on the stone and pushed it aside, revealing an opening just wide enough to let a slender person slide through.

"After you."

I glanced at her. 

"Are you afraid?" A dark smile crept into her voice.

I stepped through the opening, listening hard for any indications of an attack. The prickling on my neck was accompanied by a burning sensation on my skin. Magic – much older and much more powerful than anything I had ever faced – took hold of me. It nearly extinguished the burning flame of resistance in me.  

In front of me opened an enormous ballroom. Arches at least eight meters high supported the ceiling, covered with roses and vines. I stumbled, staring up at the ceiling, painted with scenes of wars from the past.

I held onto the flickering sense of resistance, fighting my awe and the unimaginable powerful magic. My eyes fell on the centrepiece of the room and I stopped dead.

A beautiful throne grew out of the marble floor, it was as elegant as it was huge. It appeared to be made of rosebushes – not what I would have gone for, but who was I to judge. The vines and leaves curled around themselves to build the structure, the red blooms growing large to form a seat. Even more roses twined and knotted around the base of the structure, forming a dozen narrow steps that led to the seat.

It was breath-taking and surreal. Even without the questionable material, the whole structure looked very unsafe. The seating area hovered about two and a half meters above the marble floor, at least the throne had armrests, but a railing for the steps wouldn't be unwise.

"Close your mouth."

It was only with difficulty that I could turn my eyes from the throne. There were so many roses that it seemed almost like a pillow, where the pitiable person had to sit on the thorns.

The representative of the castle stood next to me, her face betraying nothing of her thoughts, even though her eyes were gleaming. "Sit down."

I stared at her and then back at the throne. I felt a tingle, the desire to climb the steps, but I dismissed the feeling. My head had cleared, but there was no wish to resist anymore. My whole body seemed to be weightless, the adrenaline was gone and so was all the uneasiness.

"Excuse me?"

"Sit down." 

"On the throne?" I stared up. "This is a joke."

"No."

Of course not. I tried to fight against the swelling magic all around me, but there was nothing to fight. Nothing was threatening me.

"Why should I sit there? Is the mistress of this castle happy when strangers sit on her throne?" I was able to keep the longing out of my voice and struggled to recognize this longing as my enemy.

"Only you can answer that."

Something in her voice sent a shiver down my spine and I shuddered minutely. There was a depth in her words, moving like a wave through space, changing the air and fuelling the magic. I turned my head and looked at her face.

Nymphs do not age as humans; their life is measured by their life purpose and they could consciously influence it. This Nymph was old. Her eyes were faded and her skin almost transparent.

"I've waited a long time for you." Her voice sounded like dead foliage.

"I can see that." I carefully stepped aside.

Uneasiness clouded my thoughts. The Nymph was old – a few hundred years, at least. If this had been her life task – to get me to sit on that throne – then she was more powerful than I had realized, or she could use the powerful magic thrumming through this castle, because I was certain, that this kind of magic was way beyond any Nymph. The shame of being so thoroughly controlled stabbed through the magic holding on to me.

"I have waited a long time."

"I believe you." My sense of self-preservation peeked through the magic trying to hold me in check. The sarcastic remarks were, however, not the result of my current lack of brain-to-mouth filter. 

"The arrogance of youth." Her ageless eyes were ablaze with annoyance, possibly even darker feelings. But I couldn't keep my mouth shut, not for love, money or my life apparently.

"Can you remember your youth?" Hope flared in me. My eyes wandered back to the throne.

The Nymph made a sound between a growl and an exhale, as if she were trying not to explode. "Of course, only a Pirk would be so obnoxious." The Nymph eyed me. "There is no doubt that you're Melrose's granddaughter, it seems."

"I am my own person, you know?" Desire tempted me, and I realized too late that the magic changed its tactics faster than I could adapt to it.

"I'm sure you are." Her tone was dismissive.

I intended to reply, and it would have been a good one that would have probably made the Nymph lose it, but once again my gaze was drawn – inexplicably – towards the throne. Beside me, the Nymph gave a throaty chuckle.

"You feel the attraction," Her face lightened. "Sit down." She made a welcoming gesture toward the throne.

She was right. I felt the attraction and was fighting it with what willpower I still had access to. It wasn't an impressive amount, but enough. "No, thank you." I took a step to the side. It had to be enough.

"You know how much Melrose Pirk hates us. You fled to escape this hate." Her voice was amiable. "You want to prove yourself to her and to your whole family. That's why you're talking to me. You want to pay them back. I offer you the perfect opportunity. As Queen, you will be powerful, much more powerful than she could ever be."

The magic felt warm and welcoming. I could all but hear whispered promises of power and unimaginable magic to use at my command.

"No, thank you." I took a step away from the throne, even though it almost took my breath away. I shook my head and tried to look at the Nymph, but I couldn't turn my head away from the throne. It hurt to withstand the magic, but the pain helped to clear my head. I didn't want this, and I wouldn't let it take my will again.

"Just imagine Melrose's horrified face for a moment, if…"

"No. That's enough. I'm leaving." I forced my eyes to close and turned to the side, even if the presence of the throne tried to pull me to it. I concentrated on the pain and took another step back.

"You're right. It is enough."

The change in her voice was enough to distract me. Before I could fight back, tendrils shot at me from every angle, binding my wrists and my ankles, and lifting me off my feet. I cried, cursed and tore at them for what I was worth, ignoring the thorns and the blood. The lure of the magic had stopped as soon as the tendrils had bound me. The pain in my wrists were nothing compared to the increasing pressure of magic, I recognized the buzzing from earlier.

Fighting was futile. The harder I struggled, the more tendrils held onto me.

"This could have been a lot easier for you." She gestured and the tendrils dragged me up to the throne. Breaking free was impossible. I could hardly move, my arms were pulled taut above my head and other tendrils bound my ankles together. Panic and hot rage burned through me, I was a Dragonslayer for god's sake, how could I lose to flowers?

"I'm sorry that…" She stopped. "No, I am not. Your ancestors started this whole mess. It is only fair that one of you has to clean it up."

"Oh. Great, that makes perfect sense." I spit from above. "I will never be a Queen for the Unmenschen, I will never…"

"I do not care." She laughed. "All you need to know is in the books that lie on your desk. And be nice to the Castle, it's very playful." 

The tendrils pressed, pulled, and pushed me onto the throne. I could have torn off my arms – and I tried – but the thorns would still have set me on the throne. 

I tried to free myself one last time, when I felt something touch my behind. The surge of magic that coursed through me blinded me instantly, but I heard the triumphant voice of the Nymph over my scream. 

"Long live the Queen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my love goes to my beta reader Anna, who has encouraged and helped me more than I can ever repay! I love you, dear!
> 
> And of course to any of my readers! Thank you so much!


	2. Long Live the Fucking Queen

I saw the sparkle in her eyes as the thorns dug deeper into my wrists before the surge of power blinded me and more blood poured hot and wet down my arms. A shudder went through the air, and the whole castle trembled, then everything dragged into me. I felt... There were no words that could describe what I felt. It was a mixture of fiery sparks and explosions with me in the middle of it all, setting off like a bomb.

As the energy released, fire raced up my arms and over my collarbones and down my arms again. I was probably screaming, but I didn’t know for sure.

When I came to myself, I was half draped over the back of the rose-throne. It took me a moment to realize why the world was upside down. The throne looked the same as before, except now it was white marble. All the withering vines had solidified into pure white stone. Ever the optimist I was glad that the tendrils had released me before they were frozen to stone too. I was a very happy lucky-bug.

As soon as the world stopped spinning and the sick feeling in my stomach had settled, I tried to stand. I stopped when I saw the dried blood on my hands. Checking my wrists was painful, for as soon as I moved my arms, it felt like I rubbed sandpaper over a sunburn from hell. In short: unpleasant. My arms were sore, and my legs felt over-stretched, as if the tendrils had tried to pull me apart.

My breath came faster with each inhale and I closed my eyes to control the wave of anger and… let’s call it frustration. I was an ex-Dragonslayer, and we do not panic. I looked down to where the Nymph had stood, trying to wrestle down my contempt. But instead of the dying Nymph, there was a seed, the size of a golf ball. I’d seen a few Nymph-seeds before today and this one was no different. Nearly a round, bright green ball with small leaf like things sticking out of it. 

“At least I'm rid of you.” I suppressed the immediate desire to destroy the seed forever. I have no clue if humans have afterlives, but when Nymphs die, they leave behind a seed, from which they will grow again.

I bit down on my lower lip until I tasted blood. The coppery taste calmed me as much as the familiar pain did. Warily and with one hand on the throne, I stood and waited until the next wave of dizziness subsided before balancing my way down the narrow steps to the ground. I was right. A handrail would be worth gold here.

I sank down on the steps and carefully removed my leather jacket, cursing under my breath. The normally smooth leather grated over my raw arms. The skin of my arms was red and sore, the thorns leaving wounds around my wrists. But I hardly saw the dried blood on my arms. Black, sinuous, entwined lines crawled over my arms. They ran from my wrists, over my arms and met at my collarbones, peeking over the hem of my shirt. It looked as if I had fallen into the hands of a mad tattooist who had too much colour left and decided on using me as a canvas during my bout of helplessness.

The throbbing behind my temples intensified tenfold and I pressed my lips into a thin line. The pressure behind my closed eyes burned as hot as my arms and I struggled to breath. Trembling, my fingers brushed over my arm and I felt only the dried blood. I grabbed my arm, feeling the harsh exhales shake my whole body. Uncontrollable anger burned so hotly inside me that I didn’t dare move.

I tried and failed to control my hatredas I sat there motionless. I could almost hear the scorn of my grandmother mocking me. _That's what you get when you deal with Unmenschen_. Worse still, I was sitting here, having left my family behind and yet… Nevertheless, I blinked back the tears that tried to spill down my cheeks and breathed out forcefully. Enough of this pity party. Nothing was going to change if I didn’t change it myself. I opened my eyes and released my arm from my death grip. My arm was going to have bruises shaped like my fingerprints.

I rose from the step, ignoring the anger and betrayal still burning in my chest. I had been incredibly stupid to… My eyes snapped skywards. All tendrils and flowers were frozen to stone. It didn’t lessen the beauty of the throne room, but it sent chills down my spine. I had forgotten the magic. Slowly, I turned around, looking for any hints of a threat. There was nothing. I couldn’t even sense the magic anymore. I couldn’t have imagined that power. It was the only reason the Nymph managed to manipulate me into following her and force me onto the throne. The scratches on my wrists were proof enough that I hadn’t imagined it all.

It was unearthly quiet. My breathing was the only noise breaking the silence. _Just calm down._ I breathed deeply again. Keeping alert, I walked to the wall I knew hid the secret passageway and searched for what felt like an eternity until I found the entrance behind a stone leaf. I slipped inside the stone tunnel and watched with an uneasy feeling as the stone slid shut behind me. A light stabbing pain in my stomach reminded me of my hunger. Exhaustion, hunger and thirst churned in my body, but I refused to even acknowledge the discomfort. I had far more important tasks at hand, such as staying alive and getting the hell out of here.

I stopped at the crossing corridors. Could it be that others were here? I hesitated for a minute, thinking it over, before dismissing the thought. If there had been other Unmenschen in this castle, they would have been in the throne room with the Nymph. That ceremony, that… I shook my head forcibly. The back of my hand scraped over the cold stone as I went on, refusing to let go of the dagger I held. My other hand held on to the leather jacket. Even though it seemed unlikely, I listened for any sign of another living soul in this castle. If it came to it, I could defend myself – that is, if the magic didn't try to subdue me again. I hurried my steps and threw a glance over my shoulder but there was nothing to see – or more precisely; there was nothing I could see.

I pressed a hand to the cold stone as the Nymph had done and the secret door to my bedroom opened, as well as the door to the throne room. After a quick check of the room, I threw my bloodied jacket on the bed and strode determinedly toward one of the doors. I stepped inside a wardrobe reminiscent of a department store. It was an enormous walk-in wardrobe that would make Barbie green with envy. On the right side, there were dresses fit for princesses, in all colours and lengths. I had a feeling they were all my size. All the clothes were sleeveless, and I didn’t have to guess why that was. Next to the dresses were skirts, blouses, shirts, pants, jeans, jackets, hats, gloves, and presumably a lot of clothes that I couldn’t even name. Aurora and Cinderella could happily fight to the death for all this shit. My hand brushed one of the shimmery dresses. I had never felt the soft liquid touch of such fine silk before.

The throbbing in my arms quickly took me back to reality. Without further hesitation, I took a white top from a locker with the inscription _White Tops_. Here, someone apparently thought me a genius. I closed the door and found the bathroom this time. Although bathroom was a word which didn’t quite cover what this room was. It was huge: next to a bathtub, which was a hole sunk into the floor and as big as a swimming pool, was a shower and a sink. There was an antique dressing table and a mirrored wall so that none of my flaws were forgotten.

I threw a quick and longing look at the “bathtub” and searched the cabinets for ointments and medications. Whatever the Nymph wanted, she surely wouldn’t want her _Queen_ to be hurting. Actually, she might have wanted _me_ to be hurting. I ignored the new flame of anger and searched on. There was nothing, so I turned to the large dark wooden cabinet in the corner. The cabinet door opened with a soft creak. Bingo. Enough creams, drugs, and bandages for a small campaign. Right at the top stood a large jar that no one with eyes could miss, on which a note said: _For your arms_. Still a hint of what the Nymph had thought of my intelligence, and as much as I wanted to contradict her, I had displayed criminal stupidity in her presence. A soft voice whispered to me that she had prepared that before she had met me, but I ignored it in favour of the pain relief the ointment would hopefully grant me.

I placed the can on the dressing table before carefully removing my shirt and standing in front of the mirror. My expression was blank as I let my gaze travel further. Both arms were covered with black symbols connecting over my chest, but my back was bare. The injuries left by the tendrils were unpleasant, but not particularly deep. I washed the blood off and decided that they were no more than scratches. They were not injuries, and, therefore, not worthy of my immediate attention. Gingerly, I pulled the top on, which was very comfortable and fit better than some of the things I had. I concentrated on an even breathing pattern, trying to remember all the lessons in self-control I had learnt. Or rather, _tried_ to learn.

I sat down in the makeup chair and was about to slather my arms in the ointment when I saw it. The patterns on my arm had changed. In the throne, under my thumb, there had been three slender intertwined flourishes. They had disappeared, and angular, widersymbols now marked my skin. Horrified, I stared at it, and I could see how they moved. Slowly, very slowly but still noticeably, they crawled across my skin. I was too shocked to do anything other than stare at the black symbols. What the hell? I scratched with my nails over my skin, trying to disturb them, but nothing happened. I pressed my hand down on my arm and pushed the skin, but the symbols didn’t move. Something very akin to pain stabbed my chest as I realized that the symbols weren’t actually on my skin. They flowed over it, but if I were to remove the skin I was sure that the symbols would keep wandering over my arms. For just a second the idea of removing my arms seemed logical, before I snapped out of it. With brutal force, I calmed my breathing – hopefully,my heartbeat would follow soon. If I kept this up, my lungs would quit their job one day.

I ground my teeth and covered the symbols with a portion of the coolheavy ointment. Now I could breathe a little calmer– or that was what I told myself. The burning lessened significantly, and I didn’t look too closely at my left arm as I spread the ointment over it. I tried to ignore the whirlwind of thoughts. There was concern – tobe honest it was something more like panic – and rage, which I forced myself to ignore and try to think. I hadn’t known the Unmenschen had a Queen. More importantly I hadn’t known that my ancestor had been a part of it! Great-great-whatever-grandmother Cassandra was the cause of my current situation? Sounded like my life. Glad to hear that my catastrophic luck hadn’t changed one damn bit. Even so, I stillstruggled to wrap my head around it. It didn’t help that it throbbedmercilessly, or that I couldn’t clearly remember everything that happened earlier when I had been affected by the old magic. Speaking of, what the hell kind of magic was that?

I rose once more, trying not to smear cream everywhere. I wouldn’t find answers or food in this bathroom. I stepped to the sink and sipped water out of my hand. When I had satisfied my thirst – I hadn’t even realized how thirsty I had been – I walked into the bedroom. 

My battered leather jacketon the pristine white bedding caught my eye and I hesitated. A few red stains tainted the snowy sheets. The last of the adrenaline flowing in my blood demanded I escape and it seemed like a good idea. It was probably wise to flee now, and I shouldn’t waste time. On the other hand, I knew enough about markings and traces of magicto know that whatever went on my arms had a meaning and would therefore have effects. And since it was my lucky ass, it would most certainly be life threatening. 

These thoughts didn’t even consider that I had finally the opportunity to learn why Cassandra had founded the Dragonslayers. I could learn what it was that needed avenging so badly that we followed her thirst for blood for more than two hundred years. It sounded almost as if she had laid a curse on her own family to continue the slaughter of the Unmenschen after her death.

Coming to a decision, I ignored the rumbling of my stomach and stepped into the study. Like everywhere else in the castle, the lights were switched on instantly.I couldn’t hear anything else except my own footsteps on the stone floor, but that didn’t stop me from listening closely for any sign of life. Besides, something else other than the Nymph had wielded that old magic and I didn’t believe that it was gone for good. My traitorous gut didn’t seem to notice the disappearing force that had overpowered my will, but that could be said force fucking with me again. Even if I didn’t experience any of the other symptoms. Or maybe I was too hungry to think straight? 

Deciding that starvation wasn’t a fathomable option after just surviving the Nymph – even if I would be rid of the crawling curses on my arms – I stepped out of the study, looking for the kitchen. I remembered vaguely that the Nymph had mentioned one. After a few wrong turns, I found the dining hall and attached to it through a relatively plain door, the kitchen. The stove, shelves and everything else looked like it belonged inside of a museum, but between the old oak furniture and a coal-stove was a refrigerator. Ignoring anything else, I opened it and grinned. While making sandwiches and stuffing myself with them – I disregarded the thought that I was stealing food from a dead Nymph – I listened closely to any sound that would indicate that I wasn’t alone. Three sandwiches, a yoghurt and at least half a litre of orange juice later, I felt a lot better. That satisfied feeling stayed with me for almost as long as it took me to find my way back to the study.

With a sigh of frustration, I sat before the books that were spread over the broad desk. I wasn’t reluctant to read and learn. Knowledge was power all right, but there were at least tens of thousands of pages altogether, it would take forever to read all this. And I couldn’t be sure that anything useful would be in these pages. Maybe I would learn about the crawling tattoos on my arms, but why would the Nymph mention my ancestor just to get me onto the throne? As far as I knew, the only involvement my family had with the Unmenschen would be to kill them.

I glanced at the bookshelves surrounding me. It didn’t matter where I started, I just had to start. I needed to gather as much information as possible, maybe steal a few books and then get the hell out of here.

The first book, directly in front of the wide leather chair on which I sat, was covered with a black cloth. It was nearly three times the size of an average book and thus larger than any atlas and at least three thousand pages long. I opened to the first page, on which there were only two words written, in intricate cursive: _Future Runes_. 

Oh, please no. Please, this had to be a joke.I exhaled harshly, willing the insane laughter of Melrose ringing in the back of my mind to stop. This was even worse than anything I could have imagined. I flipped through the pages, disregarding most of it as nonsense. Everything in this book was hand-written, and I also noticed the old formulations of the first chapter. This knowledge was ancient, probably older than the castle itself. It was ancient and therefore was written down long before the invention of science and everything from the wheel to the newest laptop, which made it no less ridiculous. I peered for a second at the electric light, the only sign that this castle wasn't still part of the middle ages.

The author, who apparently didn’t think it was necessary to include background knowledge such as where they came from or why one should predict the future using tattoos on the arms of someone,went straight to the interpretation of these tattoos. Already, in the second chapter were drawings of runes and rune combinations and interpretive possibilities. Unfortunately, the writer was not always certain what the runes meant. He claimed that the bearer of the runes developed a sense of the meaning of the runes and could feel, after some time, when something would happen. He also noted that it was not always possible to find an event when the rune-bearer felt one, and on other occasions, the rune bearer felt nothing, but things happened. “ _It is not an exact knowledge.”_ At least the author had at least a sense of humor.

After flipping through a few hundred pages, I came across the intricate pattern of three flourishes that had been under my left thumb. The book presented two interpretations, one of which could mean that I had a right hand, a close ally. But it could also signify paths entwining, which could mean trust and treason. Thank you so much, that explained absolutely jack shit.

I tried not to think about the probability of me remembering one freaking symbol and finding exactly that symbol in the first book I opened. Nope, that was just a coincidence and nothing else. 

I glanced at the spotwhere the symbol had lingered; the lines had lengthened, and were somewhat finer, but jagged. Did I want to know what that meant? Not that it should matter, because knowledge was power, but even the author of this encyclopaedia of maybe-maybe-not-we-don’t-know-either-wanna-be-book seemed to question the power of the symbols. My gaze rested too long on my armand the black things tainting my skin. Again, I tasted bitter anger.

I pulled a second book of similar size to me, calming myself with controlled breathing. _Future Runes - Further interpretations_. Great, there was a second volume. It had different handwriting, so there were either other interpretations for the same runes or entirely different ones. I would never be able to remember anything, even if I were to try. And I was sure I wouldn’t try. And why would I? This seemed to be as logical as predicting the future by looking at the stars. Or trying to predict the future period. That was all way too close to destiny-bullshit and prophecies. If destiny was a thing, no one would ever have to fear, because whatever happened was meant to happen. So what was the point in fighting it?

I cast a doubtful glance at the table. There were four more of these books. I didn’t dare turn to them, as they were probably fifteen hundred pages of rune drawings without any hint of why these runes existed, why someone thought they would predict the future or why they were granted by sitting on a glorified chair made of flowers. 

The leather of the chair crunched softly as I fell back. This morning I decided to help an old lady in the household, and now I possessed a throne, a castle, arms full of possible futuresand hundreds of books of which probably only one explained any of this. And I had thought my life as a Dragonslayer was... nice. The irony of fate sucked. On an epic scale.

I gave in and laid my ointment-greasy arms on the armrests, enjoying the rest. My body felt heavier and I felt tiredness sneak into my limbs. I rubbed a hand over my eyes and opened them wider. This was not the time to let my guard down. Glancing at the books on the table, I noticed a small book wrapped in grey felt, lying half-hidden under one of the future rune books. With careful fingers, I drew it up and opened it. The manuscript in the book was narrow and partly illegible. I leaned forward to decipher what it was about when a loud noise blew through the castle. I started violently, jumping out of the chair. What was that? And more importantly, could whatever-it-was worsen my situation? With quick steps, I grabbed my leather jacket, and stowed three daggers in the waistband of my jeans. As absurd as my thoughts were in relation to this sound, it had probably been the bell of this castle. The sound still rang in the air, a clash of bells and melodies I didn’t quite remember. Something akin to excitement spiked me and I suppressed a grin. What kind of prince stood in front of my fairy-tale castle?

I didn’t have many useful skills that you could talk about in a normal conversation, but my sense of direction was one of them– not that I had ever engaged in a normal conversation in my life. But I had watched a few movies. As I entered the foyer, my hand slid to my waistband and pulled out a dagger. It took me almost three minutes to get back to the entrance – and two or three wrong turns which I probably had the magic to thank for blurring some of my memories. The bell had not been rung again, so the other one was very patient, which implied motives, or they had gone away. But who would come here in the forest, ring at a bewitched castle and then go away? Nobody that I knew of. Humans probably couldn’t see the castle and even if one of the very rare exceptions should happen to stumble upon this castle while I was here, why would they ring? Most humans with the ability so see the truth were too scared shitless to cause much harm. That meant it was an Unmensch or several, but I couldn’t for the life of me guess what they could possibly want right now.

I took the dagger into my left hand and hid it behind my hip, before attempting to open the door with my right hand. It failed miserably, as the door wasn’t only impressively huge, but also impressively heavy. Seriously, I swear I wasn’t this stupid most of the time. Grabbing the handle with both hands, after slipping the dagger back into place. I pulled the door open.

It opened silently, but I can assure you _not_ effortlessly.The first thing I noticed was the brightly lit staircase;the small lanterns right and left to the staircase hadn’t been lit when I had approached the castle a few hours ago. Only the brightness of the entrance hall prevented me from squinting at the light outside.

The young man had his back facing me and was a good head taller, presenting his slim shoulders. He was actually rather uninteresting until he turned to face me. His skin had an unobtrusive bluish shimmer in the light of the lanterns. As he turned from the darkness to the light, the glow of his pupils was extinguished, and they were as black as the iris. His hair was short, smooth, as black as his eyes, and had a blue shimmer. The delicate facial features and full lips twisted in surprise, then his eyes fell on my arms, and his expression froze. He was probably between twenty to twenty-five, even if his eyes looked older.

“Can I help you?” I put on a friendly expression and smiled at him blandly. My stance was relaxed, while every other muscle in my body was on high alert.

“Um...” He needed a moment to formulate an answer, which he only managed to do when he looked away from my arms and into my eyes.

It wasn’t like I had never seen such eyes, but rarely without backup and almost never when I had no intention of dripping a little bit of blood. I forced my smile to look amicable, as I fought the urge to bite my lip, a habit that I couldn’t get rid of. There was no need for me to kill this Unmensch, and certainly not because he'd rung a bell. But I would defend myself by all means necessary if he attacked first. Even if I wanted to forget my past, I wasn’t suicidal. 

“I come to take my place in the Queen's court.” His voice was warm, but his words sounded rehearsed and unconvincing. He held himself casually and his hands empty and visible all the while, as if he was trying to look as harmless as possible.

“Okay.” I wasn’t sure what I expected him to want, but that certainly wasn’t it. For a moment, I thought about killing him. It was in no way a good thing that he had seen me here. Just because he didn’t try to kill me now didn’t necessarily mean he wouldn’t try to later. I forced myself tokeep the relaxed smile on my face while internally cringing. “I suppose you want to come in?” As I saw it, I had two options: to play along and hopefully gather more information or flat out refuse him. Remaining amicable to figure out what he really wanted would keep me alive longer than flat out refusing him probably would.

“Yes, thank you.” He watched me closely as I eyed him and stepped carefully past me into the entrance hall. His movements were supple and predictable as if he didn’t want to disturb me. Smart boy.

As I pushed the door closed with my back, I slipped the dagger back into my trousers. I would avoid hostility as much as I could. With my back to the door, I studied him further. In the bright lightof the entrance hall, the bluish glow wandered over his skin. I saw no scales, but the unnaturalness of his skin marked him unmistakably as an Unmensch.

He looked briefly around in the vast entrance hall and I noticed the mixture of respect and discomfort. I also saw his assessment of the escape possibilities before he turned to face me again.

“My name is Victor.” He hesitated. He didn’t continue with a last name, but that was fine by me. The light reflected in an almost hypnotic way in his completely black eyes. He was an Irrlicht, a creature who could charm humans into any danger, just by smiling at them or letting them follow their light. I didn’t know that there were Irrlichter who were mixed with water creatures, but as my hated grandmother used to say, when you knew what you were fighting, you could kill it much easier. I didn’t want to kill him, but it was always good to know what to do if I had to, especially when it came to Irrlichter. These Unmenschen could kill one before one could even wonder when they had turned the weapon against themselves.

“I'm Cass.” I leaned my back against the massive oak portal, trying to look as harmless and content as I could.

“You're the new Queen, so how... How should I address you?” There was no sarcasm from his question, which surprised me. How much power did that Queen have? And why would anyone come to put themselves in her service? The last Queen had not only abandoned them but had done so for two centuries. Why would anyone want to serve a new one now?

“How about Cass?"

“But you're the Queen.” His back was straight, and he proudly lifted his chin; he didn’t look like the serving type, but his questions seemed to be honest. He probably didn’t know much more about the situation as I did, that was reassuring. But he had said this, presumably ritual words, which I had never heard of. Would he know anything more besides legends about this?

“Doesn’t make a difference to me.” I shrugged, the skin on my arms tightened uncomfortably because the cooling effect of the ointment had subsided.

Victor's eyes wandered over my arms again. Judging by his eyes, he knew the patterns were changing. Even if his knowledge were based on legends, maybe they would be more helpful than the tomes I'd already read. There was always some truth in every story.

“How many others are already here?” He asked after a short clearing of his throat.

“You are the first one.” There were more? Couldn’t I get a damn break?

“Really?” He looked surprised. “But the gong rang more than two hours ago.” That answered one of my questions at least.

“Well, maybe the others didn’t hear it yet," I said casually, trying to look relaxed, I didn’t like not knowing what was going on or how many more Unmenschen were on their way here. How were my chances that he would tell me that without me prompting him?

“Everyone heard it.” He seemed to be staring at me quite openly, but I was a good liar too. “It is a sound that everyone hears when the new Queen is crowned.”

“And I always thought a coronation would be held in the presence of everyone.” I laughed relaxed. “And with a crown.” Playing stupid was now my best chance. Hell, I’d be thrilled if I actually had to _play_ stupid. As it was, I already knew nothing, therefore I was not only stupid but greatly disadvantaged too. Even if I despised myself for it, but the other, much simpler solution for this situation I would only consider if he tried to drown me in the sink.

“The official coronation takes place later, in the presence of some of the elect, only the Queen and her predecessor are present in the trial.”

“Because the chosen one may not be the new Queen?” I asked, hiding my discontent. Magical laws were complicated and linked to many conditions, and they went wrong more often than they succeeded. 

“Yes.” He glanced backat the empty entrance hall. “Where is the Nymph who watched over the castle?”

“Dead. I guess she _has_ been waiting for a long time.” My smile faded, the desire to light the throne room on fire still lingering in my thoughts. More pressing was that he and others presumably knew about the Nymph. I’d feel sorry for the Nymph for waiting alone in this huge castle if she hadn’t been such a bitch to me.

“When did she die?” Victor didn’t seem overly concerned by her demise, so I guessed he hadn’t known her.

“I would guess at precisely the same moment that the gong–" But I was interrupted by the doorbell of the castle.

“Would you help me? The door is hefty.” I smiled wistfully, pointing to my arms with a hint of pain in my eyes. Victor looked at me thoughtfully. Stupid idea to be in the service of the Queen, wasn’t it? I stepped aside, so that he could open the door for me. I took a few steps further into the room, so that my back was to a column. It wasn’t as comforting as the closed door, but from here I could see both Victor, the door, and whoever wanted to join the party.

Victor opened the heavy door with a telling ease. On the brightly lit steps, stood a young woman. The first thing I noticed was her shimmery-silver skin and lips painted blood red. Everything else about her was black. The long curls that reached her waist, the eyes, were pure darkness and appeared to absorb any light around her. Her coat, her jeans, even her gloves were black.

“I've come to take my place at the Queen's court.” Her voice was rough, and she sounded profoundly monotonous. Her gaze brushed over my arms, but her expression showed no emotion. 

“Of course you are. Come in.,” I heard myself say without even thinking about it. The abyssal black holes in her still silver face horrified me and I focused on her lips.

When she stepped closer to me, the temperature in the room seemed to drop by degrees. I had never seen an Unmensch like her, and whatever she was, she made the water-Irrlicht look ordinary and safe. Victor seemed to have the same opinion, for he had scarcely looked at her when he hissed and took two steps back.

I had to suppress a smile, but at the same time, my shoulder muscles tensed as well. Whatever seemed to frighten one of the most dangerous creatures in the Dragonslayer bestiary had to be dangerous.

The girl didn’t appear to notice, or she didn’t care. Her movements were resilient and nothing in her composure hinted at emotions. She looked around the entrance hall, letting her back face us, apparently not giving a single fuck about the potential threat Victor and I posed, before turning back.

“I am Amalia.” She didn’t bother to offer me another name, but that was still alright by me.

“Cass.” It was exhausting to look in her eyes, for this complete absence of light was unnatural and seemed to challenge my grasp of reality itself.

“Queen Cassandra.” Her bloody lips twisted into a grim smile. “There was nothing wrong with the last Queen with that name.” Her icy tone cut through the air like a sword would cut through flesh, not to harm, but to kill.

Oh yes, we would become excellent friends. Before I could make her my arch enemy with my answer, the bell rang again even though the door was still open. To my delight, Victor still seemed to be in shock.

I turned halfway to the door, and became uneasy. Not only had I not heard the steps on the stairs, but how many more Unmenschen would show up? I could defend myself against two Unmenschen. Most of the time three or four wouldn’t be that big a problem, but Victor and Amalia were powerful, and I couldn’t be sure that I could defend myself against them both if they joined forces. 

At a respectful distance, a young, slender man stood, with almond-shaped eyes and a much too golden shade to his skin to be a human. I had killed one like him once – not that that should be my greetings to him, I didn’t think much of my life, but I wanted to keep it anyway – they were skilled mages and fast. In his dark eyes, a gold band twisted in the pupils, until his eyes fell on my arms and the band stared for a few seconds. “I come to take my place at the Queen's court.” His voice was soft, even gentle, but this neutral mask could hide any emotion.

“Ah yes, the more, the better," I said with a forced smile, and gestured to him to enter the entrance hall. Amalia had retreated a bit, leaning against a marble column. Victor was still standing by the door, letting his gaze shift between her and the new one.

“Thank you, Your Highness.”

“Just Cass.” While I kept the smile on my lips, I fought against a hysterical laughter. This day had started out as untypical and was now heading towards freaking unbelievable, even for me.

“My name is Takumi.” He stepped in and I saw his eyes widen and the band froze once more as his eyes fell on Amalia. Both Victor, a water Irrlicht, and Takumi, a powerful mage were startled by Amalia's presence? Her undoubtedly powerful race was either extinct or so rare that I couldn't blame myself for my lack of knowledge.

“Knock-knock.” The deep voice cut through my swirling thoughts.

I turned back to the door again. “Who's there?” At this point, I was just going with it.

“Anakleto. I'm coming around... “

“To take your place at the Queen's court. I'm aware.” My chances of survival if I fought all of them dropped. Not that it would be a good idea to start an open fight, but if it came to it, I was done. Outsmarting this many opponents was also very unlikely, especially since all of them were _higher species_ as Dragonslayers called them. Most Unmenschen had slight magical powers, maybe a special talent or two, but all of these Unmenschen were powerful. Most often, powerful also meant smart. It would be wise not to underestimate them. And as my luck had it, Anakleto was one of them.

To be more precise he was a Gestaltswandler, something like a shapeshifter. Right now, Anakleto was tall and had the broad shoulders of a giant. His hair was a light blond, but the colour could change just as quickly as the boyish smile on his lips. He could make himself almost invisible and change appearances like a chameleon. And like a venomous snake, he was quick and deadly enough to kill you with just a touch of his poison.

Anakleto raised his head and turned slightly as more feet reached the stairs from below. 

“I hope I am not too late.” Another young man approached. Apparently only Unmenschen under twenty-five were invited. He was unmistakably a fire creature, easy to kill and, unlike all others, neither particularly exciting nor very rare. Rare! I didn’t want to open a zoo here!

“My name is Richard, and I am here for a place in the castle, I mean on the throne...” He stopped himself embarrassedly and tried to remember what it was he actually wanted. His orange irises flickered like burning fire. His hair had a reddish-orange colourand seemed to be moved by a non-existing ripple in the air. He was at least a head shorter than Victor and his features were soft and childlike.

“At the Queen's court.” Anakleto helped him to continue.

“Correct. Exactly." Richard smiled winningly. “So, can we go in?”

Was ‘No’ an answer I could give in this situation. 

“Yeah, sure.” I pointed my left hand into the entrance hall. “Come in.”

Now it had to be enough. There was absolutely no way more Unmenschen could possibly want to come to this castle to greet the new Queen because a gong had told them that it was time to drop to their knees and swear loyalty to someone they never met. Even in my head that logic didn’t make any sense!

Footsteps on the stairs made my head go back to the open doorway; another Unmensch climbed the stairs, the light that radiated his skin was visible despite the bright lanterns. His pupils were strongly dilated, but that had nothing to do with the dark, the narrow irises shimmering in rainbow colours. I had heard of Unmenschen like him. He and his race were allegedly responsible for the myths of angels. Admittedly, he was gorgeous and confusing to humans, but he had no wings and no halo even if he had pale blond hair. Maybe I _should_ open a zoo.

“I am here to take my place at the Queen's court if there is still one.”

“One is still vacant.” Cried a deep voice from behind, dark, but so childlike that I almost expected to see a great six-year-old jumping up the stairs. Instead, it was a slender young man, with a broad grin on his face and brown curls. “You can have it for all I care, if I wanted one, I would have gone before the Irrlicht and I wouldn’t have taken five minutes to ring.” He stood next to the _Ligh_ t – _as Lucian’s race was sarcastically coined by others_ _and by the way he is called Lucian, but now back to the story_ – and smiled at me. “Hello Queen, if there's still a vacancy, I'd be a cook or a jester.” His pupils glowed a dangerous red, which looked even more menacing as deep black irises surrounded it, but his smile was everything but menacing or vicious. “My name is Leander, just call me Lea.”

“I am Lucian...” Began the Light Being, but Leander immediately interrupted him.

“Lucy, let us go in, our new playmates are surely waiting for us, and the lovely Queen of ours will surely freeze her royal ass in her singlet.” Without waiting for an answer, he threw an arm around Lucian's shoulder and pulled him past me into the entrance hall.

I looked at him in confusion. Not only was he unlike what I expected someone like him to be, he was also courageous and eerie. I knew his species. Someone like him had killed my father. They were very aggressive and vicious, but Leander looked like a nine-year-old on sugar rush.

“Okay, if that's all we can close the door.” I hadn’t even noticed how cold it was, beeing too focused on the Unmenschen who had gathered around me, and now I ignored the cold as best as I could. It was then I realized I did not have the slightest idea what I should do now.

“A colourful bunch.” Leander's eyes wandered over the group and he bared his teeth in a grin that looked more like a grimace.

“You have no place here.” Victor looked at him coldly. “The Queen only has six men in her entourage.”

“If you had listened to me, you would know that I don’t want to be a companion.” Leander was completely relaxed. Either he was convinced of his abilities, or he had a death wish.

“Then you should go,” Richard added nervously.

“Can’t do that or my family will kill me. After all, I'm here for her.” He turned to me and smiled his bright childish smile. “My family has no use for me. That's why they sent me. They want to see you fail and they believe that when I'm around, it can’t take more than a couple of weeks. Tops.”

Maybe I should have reacted indignantly, as the others reacted, but I couldn’t help laughing. Leander was a truly gruesome sight, which had given me nightmares for months after my father had died. But he somehow also managed to look like an enthusiastic puppy, and Leander's eagerness was contagious, no matter how scary he appeared. Besides, this whole situation was more than ridiculous and if I didn’t laugh about it, I would probably go insane… So, laughing it was.

“Thanks for the warning.” I grinned at him broadly. “If something goes wrong, I know who is to blame.” When I, let's say, chopped everyone to pieces with a chainsaw.

“Deal.” Leander's smile grew deeper and became sinister.

“Um, Queen...” Richard whispered hesitantly.

I still stood with my back to the column, with Takumi by my side, which made me more insecure than the six opposing Unmenschen. On the other hand, this was so absurd that I almost didn’t care anymore.

“Call me Cass.”

“It is not customary that–"

“There's nothing customary here.” I interrupted him. When I noticed the looks, I said the next thing I remembered. “A private cook in a castle doesn’t seem particularly unusual to me.” Perfect. No one would notice that I had no idea. I should have hanged myself in the forest.

“I thought the castle provided everything?” Lucian, who was still standing next to Leander and seemed to find his positive emotions pleasant, looked confused and sought answers from me. Well, buddy, wrong person.

“I haven’t seen the castle in the kitchen with an apron just yet.” I tried to hide the smirk forming on my lips. A magical castle? Future runes? A Queen? I knew many things that other people thought to be impossible, but this? No fucking way.

“I didn’t mean ...” Lucian started, but Amalia interrupted him.

“How long have you been here?”

They all turned to her; it didn’t seem to matter to her that they were all distant from her, that she was regarded with disgust, or with open fear. It was a feeling I knew, and even though I showed her little sympathy, her utter indifference was admirable.

“I am not sure, two hours? Perhaps three?” For a moment, I thought about lying to them, but every lie would fly out after a short time, and I had already embarrassed myself to my bones. And anyway if I had to die, I wouldn't die as a joke.

“Three hours.” Amalia's endless black eyes seemed to expand even though I couldn’t tell why I thought that, but it appeared to be getting colder. Then her blood red lips twitched into an infuriated smile. “One hour after your arrival you were put on the throne.” There was no question, only bottomless contempt in her words.

“I didn’t want the throne, thank you very much.” I stared without blinking, where her soul would have had to be. But could a soul survive in this unending darkness? I tried to project calm while inexplicable fear was choking me inside. I focused my eyes once again to her shining lips and said the first thing that crossed my mind to divert them from my momentary weakness. “And until I knocked here, I didn’t even know that the Unmenschen had a Queen.”

The mood changed immediately. Everyone hissed or growled and backed away. Takumi, who had stood beside me, staggered three steps aside, staring at me as if I were death incarnate. I didn’t take offence.

To use the word “Unmenschen” was about as wise as telling them my last name. Only Dragonslayers said Unmenschen. It was an insult to them, as Unmensch meant literally not-human but also monster, fiend and evil. They called themselves _Paien_. I was so bloody clever. They didn’t know I belonged to the Pirk, but that didn’t make it any better. I was dead in any case.

“You're a Dragonslayer.” Leander was the only one who had neither backed nor snarled. He was still relaxed in front of me, and with a broad smile on his face. He was either a gifted actor or... Could he know more than the others? I was pretty sure it wasn’t common knowledge that the last Queen had been the founder of the Dragonslayers. Maybe he was just bat-shit crazy.

My stance hadn’t changed, the stupidest thing I could do now – apart from the ridiculous thing I had just done – was to now motivate them to act.

“Yes.” I shifted my weight and forced a relaxed smile. “That was me, or rather, I was trained to be one. But if I were still one, would I be talking to you now? Wouldn’t I have slaughtered each of you individually?”

“You killed the Nymph.” Victor's eyes were full of disgust, but he was afraid. He was a fighter, every muscle in his body was tense, and he was ready to strike.

“Although she deserved it, I didn’t. Her seed is in the throne room. I didn’t touch it.” And – but I wouldn’t tell them that – if you killed a Nymph properly, there was no seed left, which you would have to destroy.

“As my Queen, I probably can’t doubt your decision.” Leander showed his teeth, while the others were still waiting to shred me. “But what exactly could that old Nymph have done to you, Dragonslayer?” He asked with a tender voice.

Slowly and without a dagger in my hands, I showed him my arms. “I haven’t set myself freely on the throne.” I paused for a second and decided against mentioning the magic that had all but destroyed my will. I wouldn’t give them any more ideas. “I was careless, and she surprised me. She knew what I was when she forced me on the throne. I would love for it all to disappear. Find another Queen. “

“It doesn’t work like that.” Anakleto stared at me angrily.

Of course not, it never did.

“Why not? Because of the runes?” I raised an eyebrow. “They are useless. Reading them is as useful as reading tea leaves. Sometimes you guess correctly and sometimes not. The runes don’t do anything.”

“Then you do know something.” Amalia pushed away from the pillar and passed the others without sparing them a glance. She paused two steps from me and pierced me with a look that could be more captivating than real eyes. I took a steadying breath and stared at her, willing myself to resist her power.

"I've gone through some books.” I'd lost this situation, but that didn’t mean I would go without a fight. I didn’t want to be here, despite the possibility of discovering some family secrets, and I absolutely didn’t want to be Queen of the Unmenschen. But if accepting the title would save my life, I would take it.

“Why should I not kill you right now?” Her voice was soft, almost gentle, but I knew she was dangerous, more dangerous than the others. She radiated power and her eyes alone could freeze her enemies, but she also was very observant. A very hazardous combination.

“Because I haven’t done it either?” It was a question and meant to be one because I had no reason why she shouldn’t kill me right away. Not one. Except being the Queen had to mean something to them. Even if I didn’t understand it.

I still stared into her eyes. I fought against my desire to look away, to lower my gaze to her lips or look at anything else other than her disturbing eyes. But I didn’t. From the corner of my eye, I saw the motionless figures of the others. They probably wouldn’t interfere if she tried to kill me, would they? Was their need for a Queen greater than their hatred for a Dragonslayer? Did I really want to be saved by a bunch of Unmenschen? I exhaled slowly. For three months, I had survived without my family. It had been perfect and longer than I had expected to last, if I was being honest. I didn’t want to die. I had not yet truly begun to live. I had to find Shane.

“Why are you here?” Amalia’s smoky voice sent a chill down my spine. If Lucian’s race had started the myths about angels, her ancestors started the myths about demons.

“Because I'm supposed to be here. The Nymph certainly didn’t make a mistake, and no matter how pissed you all are, I'm sure she knew what she was doing when she stopped me from leaving.” I raised my chin. “But if you let me, I'll go and never come back.” I knew they couldn’t do it, just as I knew they wouldn’t kill me, even if they wanted to.

“She didn’t make a mistake.” Amalia blinked once. I didn't understand how she could say that. She didn’t seem to understand how she could say that either. “A Dragonslayer is our Queen.” Her lips twisted into a bitter smile. “This could be stressful.”

“What do you mean?” Lucian stared at me and then at Amalia. “She cannot be the Queen!”

“Do you see the runes, Light?” Amalia hadn’t even turned around. “If we kill her, we'll be without a Queen and a Nymph.” She turned her back to me and stared at Lucian, who took another step back. “I am here to avert the downfall of our way of life. Why are you here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All thanks to my lovely beta reader Anna and her endless support.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Requests of Great Importance

I was alive. There were indeed miracles. How nice.

I celebrated my unexpected survival by spending all night reading books after I excused myself to my room. They literally escorted me back to my bedroom and told me to stay put. That alone was enough for my rebellious nature to awaken, but I controlled it for now. The Unmenschen had once demonstrated that they knew a lot more than I did, and they should never succeed again. Besides, I didn’t want to close my eyes. Even if Amalia seemed to have convinced the others for now that I was more useful to them alive than dead, I was aware of the danger. From this day on — until I finally fled — I was living with seven Unmenschen who wanted to kill me in a magical Castle. Even if I hadn’t witnessed much of the actual magic yet. I still didn’t want to believe that the Castle could have been the powerful magic that had bewitched me. I still couldn’t get over the sympathetic look out of volcanic eyes Leander had given me.

The Unmenschen however seemed to not only believe in the power of the Castle, but also in the future telling runes lazily wandering over my arms. As I understood it, these runes gave them the power to do whatever they had come to do, even if the runes themselves couldn’t actually do jack shit. Sort of like a stamp of approval.

As my bedroom was connected to their rooms not only through a hallway, but also through a secret passage that opened right beside my bed, reading was also a preferable alternative to sleeping. I would probably never sleep again.

It was shortly after four in the morning when I gave up. My arms still hurt and I couldn’t keep my eyes open. On top of that, I hadn’t found any useful information whatsoever. No mention of the Castle and its powers, no mention of the Queen’s purposes or her entourage, nor about my great-great-grandmother or anything remotely helpful.

Fully clothed, I stumbled to the bed and fell upon it. I got two of the daggers out of my waistband and shoved them under my pillow. I just wanted to close my eyes for a moment. The mattress was comfortable and the pillow soft. I took the last dagger out of my waistband and held it loosely in my hand.

Four hours later, I woke up and felt like I had been run over by a train or barely survived a plane crush. It took me a moment to realise what had woken me. Steps were approaching my room and, by the sounds of it, whoever was coming was already crossing the study. I pushed myself upright and gathered my daggers, before shoving them back into my waistband.

The knocking on my bedroom door confirmed my suspicion. They had already come this far? I had been more out of it than I should be in such close proximity to _potential_ enemies. If I didn’t wake up earlier, I didn’t deserve to survive.

"Yes?" I said, trying not to look or sound too sleepy.

“Hey, Highness." Leander popped his curly head through the door. "Breakfast is ready, but you better take a shower before you join us. You look terrible."

"You should be grateful to your family that they haven’t killed you yet." I stood up, stretching my arms over my head, ignoring the relaxed laughter from the door.

"I'm washing up. Start without me."

The door closed quietly, and I turned to the foot of the bed where I suspected my backpack was. That is, until I remembered that I had no idea where I left it. When I thought it over, I wasn’t even sure I'd brought it to the Castle. Some of my memories from yesterday were still fuzzy. My most important possession — my leather jacket — was exactly where I’d left it at the end of my bed.

With a sigh and no other option, I entered the wardrobe. Where there had been hats and fans yesterday, there were now swords, daggers, throwing-stars, throwing knives, bow and arrows, crossbows, guns and between other things, a morning star, and a flamethrower. Since it was unlikely that someone had entered my room without me noticing, and since none of the Unmenschen would voluntarily give me more weapons, Lucian had to be right. The Castle actually took care of everything. A telepathic Castle. Why not?

The uneasiness in my gut could be from my hunger, but it also could be from the dawning suspicion, that maybe the Castle had actually been the source of that powerful magic. Was it so unbelievable that a magical Castle could work on its own accord? And maybe it hadn’t. Maybe it had done the Nymph’s bidding, and as I was the Queen now, it followed my wishes? Even in my head it sounded stupid but what other explanation was there?

"Okay Castle, thank you for the weapons, if you get rid of the clothes and get some leather jackets, then..." A sharp pain twitched through my gut, taking my breath away and I struggled to breath. Without sound or warning, leather jackets materialised beside the clothes. The front leather jacket was pink and full of frills. A telepathic Castle, and also a joker. This just got better and better.

A book had mentioned nothing but a connection between the Castle and its Queen and that the Castle could siphon the magic of the Queen dry and kill her if it took too much. Despite the warning that it could kill me, it hadn’t given me any specifics about how that worked. In one short paragraph the author had stated that Queen and Castle had a symbiotic relationship and could access each other’s magic. In an attack, the Castle once consumed the Queen's entire power and killed her, but her daughter survived. I hadn’t believed it. Who on earth would believe that a rock not only wielded magic, but did it partly on its own accord? I had dismissed it as bullshit. I still thought it was bullshit.

The book had mentioned nothing more, except that no one could stop it. That had been explicitly clarified by the author. Thanks so damn much for that and no other information whatsoever. My fingernails dug deep into my skin and I forced my fists open. Crescent shaped notches graced my palms and I exhaled. Technically, I had no proof that whoever wrote those few sentences knew what they were talking about, but the demonstration of the Castle’s powers I’d just received was quite impressive.

I exhaled slowly, relaxing my muscles with the release of air. I would search for more information and find a way to break the connection. Or even better, a way to get rid of the runes and the magic altogether. Right now, I couldn’t do anything about it and I wouldn’t tell my new “friends” that they could kill or harm me by kicking at the Castle. As long as I didn’t use too much power and the Castle wasn’t under attack, I should be fine. But considering that it could read my mind, it probably wouldn’t hurt to be politer to the Castle. To be politer to rocks. I swallowed down a bout of swearing and the desire to just ‘nope’ all this and leave immediately, feeling quite impressed with myself when I didn’t suffocate on it.

"Thank you, I suppose this leather jacket is a subtle reference?" I muttered and pulled at the pink jacket with the lace. Whatever the Castles wishes, I would not dress like fucking princess. "But just to make it clear, I will not wear pink, so you can let Barbie's dream disappear right away." Nothing happened, but that was a response in itself. I shook my head and reminded myself that there were seven Unmenschen waiting for me. I couldn’t care less that they were waiting for me, but I couldn’t appear weak or afraid. My hand brushed over a few of the fine materials surrounding me. Most of them looked like they were designer made or possible gifts from my fairy godmother. Oh hell, fairy godmothers were not real. Probably not real.

I stepped into the shower, letting the hot water rain down on me. Bottles with different shampoos and soaps stood neatly on marble shelves within the shower. This looked less and less like a magical Castle and a lot more like a five-star hotel suite. Between the beheading and evisceration of Unmenschen I didn’t really have time for a manicure.

I rubbed the soft towel over my raw arms, but the ointment had helped greatly and now they barely burned. I shrugged on the soft leather jacket and looked at myself in the mirror. It fit perfectly, just like everything else, but I missed the sight of the tattered black leather jacket, which was a few sizes too big. It was better to hide everything personal for a while. At least until I had the opportunity to be alone again.

I stepped back into my bedroom and looked around. A rather stupid idea crossed my mind. "If I wanted to hide something, Castle, where would I..." My words trailed off as a part of the wall right next to the study door opened. Behind it was a safe sized compartment, which was empty except for a necklace. I lifted the pendant out of the safe and looked at it closely. On a filigree white gold necklace hung a complicated structure of curved lines that intertwined itself to an intricate symbol. It looked like a rune I noticed yesterday on my left arm. I added the symbol to my mental list of things I needed to find out and pushed the necklace to the far end of the safe before putting my beloved leather jacket and all my weapons in it. It was necessary even if I didn’t like to leave them out of my sight. The leather jacket was too important to risk and the daggers where marked with the family seal. They knew I was a Dragonslayer but, as of now, they didn’t know which family I belonged to.

"Take good care of it, Castle." I murmured and brushed my hand soothingly over the cold stone. Ladies and Gentlemen, if you have wondered, that was the moment I lost my mind. I equipped myself with a few more weapons out of my wardrobe and was about to join my Unmenschen entourage in the dining hall when a tone like bells and birds resounded through the Castle and halted me mid step. That was not the doorbell but sounded too much alike to be something completely different. I hadn’t time to think it through before they joined me in the hall and dragged me with them to the entrance hall. Leander must have taken pity on me, as he pressed a bagel and a coffee mug into my hands. I ate and drank hungrily, watching as Takumi went to a white marble basin and retrieved a letter from it.

I hadn’t noticed the basin before, as it was placed rather unobtrusively in the far-right corner of the entrance hall. Symbols adorned the edge of the basin and the column it was resting on, but the symbols weren’t decoration. This was the first communication basin I’d ever seen. Unmenschen with magical abilities used them to send letters to each other. As I understood it, it was like emailing, but magically. Advanced and complicated technology couldn’t work properly around magic — my phone once exploded when I was fighting an Unmensch with magical abilities and he performed a spell to kill me — most of the Unmenschen didn’t use it much. But what the hell did I know? I never saw an Unmensch use more advanced technology than electric lights and old cars.

“The Queen has been requested to assist in a matter of great importance.” Takumi’s face betrayed no emotion, even the gold bands in his pupils moved calmly.

I honestly cannot remember who told me to draw the Circle to transport us to the location where the Unmenschen were waiting. I do remember trying to get out, but I couldn’t refuse without looking weak. I knew the spell. I had performed it a few times, but not over a great distance or with more than just myself. If the book hadn’t lied to me, I should have more magic at my disposal so I might not kill all of us.

After drawing the Circle, while constantly debating in my head if the risk was worth it, I was pushed inside and thrown into darkness. The first time travelling by Circle I had vomited my guts out. It was an unnatural experience. You were blinded by total darkness, deafened by absolute silence, the air pressed out of your lungs. It feels like the universe itself tries to crush you. The duration between disappearing in one place and reappearing in the other isn’t longer than a second, but it’s too much.

When we stepped out of the Circle, I wasn’t vomiting, but it took everything I had to just stay upright and follow the others. I didn’t even pay attention to my surroundings. You should always pay attention.

We were inside a building before I realised. The place was sparsely lighted, concrete pillars held the ceiling and threw long shadows on the filthy floor. It must have been an abandoned factory hall; the whole building was one large room. All around the walls were open top floors. The perfect place for an ambush.

Before I could voice my concern, I heard a throaty sound and leaped back. Something splashed on the floor where I had stood a moment ago and the hiss told me enough about the substance that I needed to know. Poisonous fumes rose from the acid and burned in my nose.

I looked up and saw at least ten Unmenschen, all in black clothes and black masks with openings at the eyes and mouth. One of them spit the gooey substance at Lucien, who sprang back gracefully. The unmasked Unmenschen, better known as my new _friends_ , had scattered and sought protection behind the concrete pillars.

I jumped back another step and pressed myself against a pillar. Anakleto raced from one pillar to another and I watched the direction he was running towards. A staircase. I hid further behind the pillar as two acid-pukers attacked me.

I needed to get to the staircase. I wasn’t much use down here. Nonetheless, I grabbed two daggers and tried to get better footing.

I glanced at the others. Most of them were hiding, but all of them appeared to have understood what Anakleto was trying to accomplish. Victor and Rick were hiding behind the column to my right, heatedly debating something. Or Victor was giving orders and Rick grudgingly accepted them. They would probably try to distract the acid-pukers to give Anakleto and possibly Leander, who wasn’t far away from the foot of the stairs either, the chance to run for it.

Fighting together was a good plan. As Victor — water element — and Rick — fire element — could wield two elements combined, they should be able to keep us alive long enough.

Victor stepped from the safety of his hideout and into the open. He formed small water orbs probably out of the humid air and shot them at the closest of our attackers. The Unmensch was hit three times and went down with a scream. It wasn’t enough to kill him, but something was very wrong.

“Victor!” My cry echoed in my ears. Why wasn't he moving? I had seen how fast he could move just seconds ago, when he had run into the middle of the open space. Why was he just standing there? Why didn’t he bloody _move_?

I pushed myself forward and threw myself between him and the acid. What else could I do? He wasn't moving!

I was as fast as he was and wasn’t only able to throw myself in front of him, but also to glare at him. Then something hit my back with a sickening splash.

Wetness seeped through the leather and shirt and burned my skin mercilessly. The pain was not as bad as I had feared it would be. Then again, it was something I was used to and I was conditioned to go on against any kind of pain or damage to my body. Another possibility was that, even if the acid was toxic, it couldn’t corrode skin and flesh as fast as stone. Look at that, I really was an optimist.

I fell onto my hands and knees, cursing loudly, before rising. The increasing pain numbed my other senses, but not enough to immobilize me.

“Cass!” Lucian pulled me behind a concrete column and dragged the remains of my clothes off me without hesitation. They fell easily to the earth. I hadn’t felt the rubbing of material over my skin. Not a good sign.

“Here.” He held out his jacket. “Don’t put it on! Wash that acid off first. Stay here.” With a final glance, he turned and threw himself back into the fray. I covered myself with the jacket and held it in place while checking my surroundings. Leander and Anakleto must have found their way upstairs. Screams were starting to echo through the building.

I inhaled and the burning increased. Great. That was simply awesome. I tried to move, but stopped the motion as the pain increased tenfold. I clung to Lucian’s jacket and the daggers I had in a death grip. This was beyond embarrassing. I had never displayed my greatest weakness as openly as just now. I _cared_. I couldn’t hide the disgust even in my own thoughts. Apparently, I even cared for Unmenschen who wanted to kill me. How fucking stupid and pathetic was that? With that thought, I almost hoped that the acid would kill me. It would be a lot more merciful than living with the shame.

“Cass.”

I looked up and stared into the endless darkness that was Amalia’s eyes. It seemed that I wouldn’t be able to grow accustomed to those eyes no matter how often I stared at them. The black, bottomless holes that absorbed any light would always frighten me. Yes, dying was looking better and better by the minute.

Her cold hand closed around my arm and pulled me effortlessly behind her. The pain — which had steadily increased — flared in angry outrage at her manhandling, but it seemed that the pain was only a diversion. Even as the pain increased and had nearly all my attention, I could feel my consciousness begin to slip and my body refusing to obey. If I didn’t know it better, I would guess I was in shock, but I was pretty sure that, by this point, I wasn’t even able to fall into shock anymore.

Amalia dragged me out of the warehouse, my vision already too blurred for me to see.

“Stand with your face to the wall,” She ordered, her voice devoid of sympathy.

“We should help them.” I demanded in annoyance, but the sound that escape my lips was only a weak mumble.

“Sure. And let the acid eat your bones while we are at it.” Amalia snapped.

There was no warning. I vaguely heard the sound of a bottle cap popping off before cold water splashed onto my back. I was neither squeamish nor did I have a low pain threshold, but as soon as the water touched my skin, a scream wrenched itself from my lungs and I pressed my arms against the cold stone before me.

The water burned worse, much worse than the acid on skin. Afterwards, I would learn that even if the mixture spat at us had acidic effects. It was more poison than acid, used to render the pray helpless. To be honest I couldn’t care less about it, but it allowed me to survive as long as I did. Pure acid would have killed me.

“Hold still.” I heard Amalia's rough voice over my screams and bit down on my tongue until I tasted coppery blood. My thoughts sluggishly formed in my brain but couldn’t seem to order my body to do anything. If the acid didn’t kill me, I would have to do it myself. I couldn’t live with this shame.

“Here is another bottle of water,” Takumi's neutral voice said. I concentrated solely on not fainting, which became more challenging by the second, but I would be damned if I showed even more weakness in front of them than I already had.

The jet of water ended for a second and then began again. I suppressed the screams, or at least most of them. The pain was the only thing stabbing through the thick veil of numbness that threatened to take over my body. Like I had done yesterday, I tried to surpass both by sheer willpower and failed spectacularly.

“How is she?” Richard’s voice, nervous and worried. All voices sounded like I was at least a couple hundred meters away and underwater.

“She may survive.”

Thank you, Takumi, very helpful.

My muscles were screaming for mercy, cramping badly. I slid down slightly on the even stone and pulled myself together. I was a Dragonslayer. Even if I didn't want to be one anymore, I was born as one, and I couldn't allow to let a little corrosive fluid get to me. At least that is what I was aiming for. At that point, I was too far gone to really do anything other than fight against the approaching darkness of unconsciousness. 

A cool hand lay on my skin and the pain it inflicted tore viciously through the veil of numbness. A hoarse scream escaped me and I tried to move away. I lost my footing and nearly fell. Strong arms grabbed me and ignored what little struggle I managed to put up.

“Here.” I felt a hand on my jaw and winced as it ruthlessly worked my mouth open. A hand pushed something between my teeth, something bitter flooded my mouth. I tried to spit it out, but strong hands poured water in my mouth and ignored my weak attempt to rebel. 

“I have to treat her as soon as possible. We need to get her back to the Castle.” The certainty in Takumi’s voice left no room for arguments. Treating me? He was a healer? Hands moved me and all coherent thoughts left me as pain flared through my body.

 “She cannot open a Circle in her condition. What do we do?” Was that… the other one? I tried to stay focused, tried to make sense of the voices around me.

“I can create Circles.” Takumi's calm voice seemed to be so far away, even though I could feel his supporting hand on my shoulder. It was his hand, wasn’t it? I tried — and failed — to open my eyes.

“Indestructible Dragonslayer, my ass,” Victor muttered at my side, and I would have gladly torn his worthless head from his shoulders, but I couldn’t contradict him. I couldn’t even open one fucking eye, let alone fight anyone.

“Hurry up. It won’t be much longer before the damage done to her body will be irreversible.”

Takumi's hands were replaced by others, and my head hit lightly against a cold hand. I wanted to lift my head and watch him draw. I wanted to see if he used the same symbols, if he could make the signs appear on the ground with his bare hands, but my eyelids wouldn't budge.

“Carry her through first.”

I could barely feel myself being dragged in the Circle. All I knew was that my back, if it was still there, was torturing me. There was blood on my lips and my arms and legs were unresponsive. If I died now, it would be a disgrace to my entire family. Who would have thought that I was an optimist in dying?

“She must go to the shower immediately.”

No more water. Please. 

“Did she say something?”

“No.” Amalia stated coldly.

As I was dragged towards my shower the sound of the rushing water sent me into a panic. I wanted to defend myself, to get as far away from the rousing water as I could. But I couldn’t move.

My _friends_ — emphasis on the sarcasm here folks — pushed me ruthlessly under the heavy stream of water and ignored my whimpering. Eventually, my water-torture ended and I was dragged out of the room like a wet sack and dropped onto my bed.

“Hold her still.”

Hands clung to my wrists and ankles, pinning me against the bed as something was brushed against the remnants of the acid on my back. The burning reignited with a frenzy, the fire spreading along my spine. I wanted to scream, to writhe, to kill the people who were doing this to me, yet I was still motionless. Paralysed. What the hell kind of acid was this? 

“I had feared as much.”

“What do you mean?”

“She should be fighting back. The ointment burns like hell.”

“That's bad,” A distant voice agreed with Takumi. “What do we do now?”

“Nothing.” Takumi's hand lay gently on my feverish forehead. “Either she survives or doesn’t.”

“How wonderful that you are our healer. Whatever would we do without you?” Leander’s cold voice couldn’t cut deep enough through the numbness. I had lost the fight and even if I wasn’t one to accept defeat, there was nothing more left in me. Even the pain was consumed by the cold nothing wrapping around my mind.

“Without me, she would already be dead.” 

“I’ll stay with her. Who takes the next shift?” 

The voices became more and more unclear until they disappeared completely.


	4. Too Good to be True

It took me some time to wake this time. The cruel burns on my back and my full body ache could only accelerate the process so much. I fought the overwhelming exhaustion to no avail.

"You are alive."

I stilled and my brain finally decided to join the party. I was lying on my stomach and Amalia was somewhere on my left. The spike of panic surged when the memory of my inability to move my own body resurfaced. I tried to swallow but my throat was arid. I shifted my arms and exhaled in relief, before bracing myself on my elbows.  It had taken far more strength than it should have and I had only managed a few centimeters.

"You are really happy I survived, aren’t you? I can tell," I pressed through my lips as I let myself fall back on the pillows. Pain shot through me and I suppressed a hoarse scream. I wasn’t even strong enough to turn around. Another triumph for the Dragonslayers. Come to think of it, it probably wasn’t a good idea to lie on my back.

I heard the rustle of clothes and Amalia appeared in my field of vision. Long black curls framed the silvery shimmer on the skin on her doll-like face. Her lips were painted blood red, the only colour I had ever seen on her – which didn’t mean much as I hadn’t known her longer than a day.

I felt the mattress move as she laid down beside me. Her abysmal eyes sent a shiver down my spine and if I could have fled away, I would have. I had seen a lot in my short life, more than I had ever wished to see. But her eyes… they aroused a primeval fear that demanded immediate escape.

"We were not sure if you would survive." Her voice was as blank as her face and, therefore, I had no freaking clue if she was lying or telling the truth. I didn’t care either way.  

"I remember that much.” It was hard to keep the annoyance out of my voice, but I lay on my bed, helpless like a turtle on their back. I was not in the mood for conversation.

"You have been more dead than alive the last two days." Amalia's voice didn’t change. I felt so loved and wanted – it was almost like home.

"Two days?" I shifted a little bit and ignored the flashes of pain. "No wonder I'm so thirsty." Panic and adrenaline raced through my body. Two days? I had been lying here for two days helpless? 

Amalia stood up without saying anything else and for just a moment I was sure she would just leave me lying helpless on the bed. It would have shocked me far less than anything that had happened so far in this _magical_ castle. I heard water trickle and ignored the ache in my throat.

“I will help you sit up, but it will hurt.”

“No kidding,” I drawled sarcastically and tried to push myself up again. Cold hands grabbed my bare shoulders and pulled me up. She helped me up carefully but my stiff body hurt everywhere.

"Fuck," I cursed breathlessly as I finally sat on the edge of the bed. Amalia’s cold hand supported me and I knew I would topple over if she were to let go of my shoulder. I tried to loosen my muscles and bit back a string of curses. I could barely turn my head. All my muscles screamed bloody murder as soon as I tried to use them. The skin on my back felt stretched and burned. I waited for the tickling sensation of blood drops since I was pretty sure my back wasn’t bandaged. 

“Are you okay?”

I threw her a look that should have killed her instantly, but she didn’t even blink. "Do I look okay?"

“Everything considered, yes.”

I was about to tell her that I would kick her stupid ass as soon as my body remembered it wasn’t two hundred years old when she handed me a glass of water from the nightstand. She didn’t comment when my arms convulsed before cooperating as my trembling hands clasped the glass. I greedily drank the cold water, ignoring the fine trickle down my chin. As soon as I felt the coldness reach my stomach, I stopped and handed the glass back to her. Presumably they had fed me something while I was out, but it wouldn’t be a good idea to drink too fast. 

“How bad is it?” I lived and I could move my body, but even asking the question increased the hot fear I tried to suppress.

"Scar tissue. Whatever Takumi did, it worked."

"Show me." I had to see it sooner or later. I needed to know.

Her face betrayed no emotion. "Okay."

She slung one of my arms over her shoulder and pulled me up. I hissed and bit my lip while trying not to faint. The quick action left me dizzy and it took some time to convince my legs to take the first step. Amalia didn’t say anything. She waited patiently and appeared unaffected by my weight. 

She helped me stumble into the colossal bathroom and positioned me in front of the mirror wall. I ignored my bare chest and focused on my grim face. My dark purple irises were accompanied by deep blue shadows under my eyes. Strands of lilac hair clashed with my greenish looking face. My tightly pressed lips were as white as marble.  

Without much ado, Amalia pulled me around and showed me my disfigured back. She was right. What should be raw flesh was now pink scarring that spread over the whole of my back. The topmost splashes grazed my shoulders. The lowest scars I could see were half hidden under the waistband of my pants. Every droplet had left its mark on me in the form of pink scars that would fade to white someday. Although I had my fair share of scars before, ugly memories of battles and punishments, this was different.  

"Wow," was all I managed to say. I knew it could have been worse. I could be dead or paralysed. Scars were nothing special, just a reminder to become a better fighter. My shaking hands grabbed onto each other and I tried hard to suppress everything that wanted to spill out.

"You should take a shower." Amalia didn’t wait for any kind of reaction. She pulled me to the shower, helped me out of the pants and pushed me under the warm water.

I flinched when water touched my skin, expecting it to bring excruciating pain. Nothing happened. The warmth relaxed my cramped muscles and eased the lingering soreness. Water droplets trickled down my back and felt like blood pouring out of what must have been raw flesh two days ago. Before I could stop myself, I stumbled out of the shower and threw up in the toilet. Or, at least, I tried to, as there was nothing left in my stomach but water.

Amalia – who had probably waited for some reaction like that, the asshole – held my hair while I shivered on the floor. It took me a while to get my composure back. My normally perfect mask of indifference was not only cracked, it was smashed into a thousand pieces. There was nothing left for me to hide behind. Nothing but my iron will and stubbornness.

She helped me up and back into the shower. She didn’t say a word nor showed she any emotions. It was the only reason I could accept her help and not try to kill her or myself. I dressed myself in a pair of dark jeans and a wide blue shirt. Bras were out of the question for now because even the soft towel had been painful on my scarred back.

"Knock, knock, is Sleeping Beauty finally awake?" Leander stuck his head in the bathroom, his hand covering his eyes loosely. He grinned childishly while peeking through his fingers. His whole appearance and behaviour seemed relaxed and at ease. I waited for him to drop his act and start viciously murdering all of us. Amalia was more dangerous, but his species was known to be raving murder incarnate. I had watched one of them ripping my father to shreds with a delighted glint in his volcanic eyes. Whatever Leander’s game was, he wouldn’t be able to keep up this act for long. 

"Yes," I said dryly, watching him carefully. He dropped his hand from his eyes and winked at me.

"It was bloody time, don’t you think?"

Amalia ignored both Leander and me and laid the finished braid over my right shoulder. She clearly wasn’t one for a lot of words, which was something I could appreciate. If she wasn’t careful I could grow to like her. Nah, that would never happen.

"Thank you."  

She stood behind me, as she had the whole time and nodded once as acknowledgment. Quietly waiting to assist me. I couldn’t believe I was still alive… Or that I let her. Her gaze captured me in the mirror. “You did not know the poison would not have hurt the Irrlicht, did you?”

My blood ran cold and I froze in my movement. That couldn’t be true.

"Tactful, Amy. Really tactful." Leander pushed himself through the door gap and sat down on the edge of the dressing table facing me.

"What?" My gaze shifted between her and Leander alternately. That was a joke. It had to be.

"He is not only an Irrlicht but also a Water-Paien. The acid or _erosive_ poison,” I could hear the quotation marks, “would have been like a sunburn to him, unpleasant but not dangerous."

Embarrassment burned through me and superseded the icy cold from moments before. My hands clenched into fists and it took me everything I had to force my stomach down again. Every word, every movement would result in me grabbing the flamethrower in the closet and burn anything and everything to the ground. My anger management wasn’t great at the best of times and right now I certainly wasn’t even-tempered. Not even a little bit. I had no problem with violence. I had a problem with everything else. 

These Unmenschen knew my fatal flaw. I cared. They knew I cared. I had injured myself for nothing. I had thrown myself between an Unmensch who would try to kill me as soon as he got the chance and a substance that would have been a mild inconvenience to him. Something that had nearly killed me. Something that had scared me so severely I couldn’t be positive I wouldn’t retain a stiffness that could ultimately contribute to my death. 

My eyes were still fixed on Leander’s. His whole face had morphed into something that probably shouldn’t look pitying, but it did. 

"It was still noble." He gave me a gentle push and smiled. "Even if it was stupid."

"Unbelievably stupid." Amalia coldly agreed. She touched me briefly at the shoulder as if to calm me. That was even worse.

"I’m hungry." My voice sounded hoarse but that was better than the pain scorching through me.

"Absolutely. Takumi will kill us if we don’t feed you." He smiled cheerfully at me, ignoring my frozen features.  

"Leander." Amalia’s tone was even but a warning nonetheless.

"Lea. I really cannot stand my name." Leander’s – Lea’s – expression changed. His youthful charm and smile vanished and his face looked hard and cold for a moment. His smile and attitude were back as fast as they had vanished.

"It would be easier to follow your wish if you would not mutilate the names of others." Amalia pulled up a slender eyebrow and looked at him mockingly. It was obvious that she didn’t believe him to be a threat and couldn’t care less if he knew that.

"Our Queen agrees with me, don’t you Cass?" He asked, looking at Amalia and also raising an eyebrow. Mischief sparkled in the depths of his red and black eyes that seemed far too innocent to be true.

"She has the name of the damned Queen that has let us down and made the war possible. She had no choice."

The nonsensical bantering was little more than white noise to my ears, but it had given me the time to get my composure back. Or to be honest, to hide behind a fractured mask. Very little composure was left.

Both of the Unmenschen in front of me seemed simultaneously at ease and ready to strike. Maybe the castle had an arena. We could make popcorn and watch the two of them chat each other to death because in my mind there was no doubt they could do it. 

“Hunger,” I said flatly, before Leander could say whatever crossed his mind at the moment.

“We will get you something to eat.” Amalia nodded at Leander without making eye contact. Both grabbed me by my arms and pulled me up. Leander’s touch was warm, Amalia’s cold.

“Would be a lot easier if the Castle would actually provide what we needed.” Leander’s voice sounded disappointed, like a kid that had been promised a spectacular magic trick.

“What?” I asked a little breathless. My muscles ached and didn’t appear to want to resume their function once again. My mind – or at least the part that didn’t try to hold the mask in place – was drowning itself in disgrace. 

They dragged me through my study towards the dining hall, or at least I hoped they did.

"Nothing magical happened! I was looking forward to it as well." Leander whined.

I turned my head and tried to study his face. He not only sounded like a nine-year-old, his eyes also shone enthusiastically and seemingly without deceit. But could that be trusted? I fought the urge to bite my lower lip. It was too easy for me to be touched by him and it was damned much too easy for me to see a childish laugh in his eyes. In eyes that had shown nothing but bliss while the creature they belonged to had ripped my father to shreds. It hadn’t been him, but that was hardly a reassurance.

Goose bumps were all over my skin where Amalia touched me, and it had nothing to do with the coldness of her hands. Everything about her was a warning to stay away from her, to fear her. Her eyes, her skin, everything about her seemed unnatural. Not like how other Unmenschen seemed supernatural or different but _unnatural_. Like nature itself knew it had made a mistake. Judging by the reactions of the other Unmenschen, I wasn’t the only one that felt that way.

"You call that cooking?" Amalia's deep voice sounded as bored as it gets.

"I had nothing but potatoes and onions that I harvested in the garden, we ate everything else. What could you have done with that, Princess of Darkness?”

"Great, another nickname."

I glanced at Amalia's expressionless face. She didn’t appear to care that Leander didn’t fear her, just as she hadn’t seemed to care when the others had feared her. Either she really didn’t care at all or she was damn good at hiding her emotions. Except annoyance of course.

Leander let go of my side to open the dining hall door and I would have fallen ungracefully to the floor if Amalia hadn’t grabbed me harder and steadied me.

"You must stop that." She glared at me, my face only centimeters away from hers, as she had both her arms around me to support my weight.

I glared back at her. As if I'd let her carry me if I had a choice.  

Leander pulled the chair back at the head of the table and Amalia – who didn’t bother to be gentle anymore – dragged me there and practically shoved me down on it. I hissed sharply and leaned forward. My back was definitely not yet ready to touch anything more than soft cotton, much less a hard backrest.

Leander hadn’t waited around and was already on his way to the small door at the other end of the hall that would lead him into the kitchen. With an empty refrigerator, if they were to be believed. Just my luck.

"We still haven’t found a car or any money, have we?" He asked over his shoulder.  

"No." Amalia turned away from him, poured water from a carafe into an empty glass and set it before me without ever looking directly at me.

I needed two attempts to stop my hands from shaking before I could bring the glass to my lips.  

"What happened in the last few days?" I raised my eyes and saw that Amalia was watching me with her own all-light-consuming ones.

"Takumi cured you and when he was not at your side, Leander or I were," She said without even the slightest bit of emotions. She didn’t even _blink_.

"Why?"

"Somebody had to keep an eye on you." 

"Why you?"

"We didn’t trust anyone else." Leander came back through the door, a tray of plates and bowls balancing in front of him. "We didn’t want to kill you and didn’t wanted to give the others an opportunity to do so. Besides, no one else wanted the job." He beamed happily at me.

I was not sure if I wanted to laugh or to scream. Three Unmenschen had decided that the others were not trustworthy enough to sit beside my unconscious ass but didn’t count themselves just as untrustworthy. It was a laugh, just ridiculous.  

"Victor went shopping once, otherwise we were here." Amalia sat down beside me. Everything about her appeared to be controlled. Her movements were graceful, but always so controlled.  

Leander set the table with quick movements and placed a bowl in front of me with something reminiscent of porridge and sat down on the other side of me.

"Next time, I'll go shopping."

"With what?" Asked Amalia, looking at the mash with something that might have been almost alarm. "We have no money."

Great. A castle without treasure, that was my luck again.

I poked at the grey mush and tried to remember if porridge should be so firm and sticky. "I'd rather have chocolate pudding." I murmured. A tingling sensation in my stomach, barely noticeable in my aching body, and instead of the grey lumpy mush my bowl was filled with something suspiciously smelling of my mother’s chocolate pudding. Something I hadn’t eaten since her death.

A telepathic Castle that was a stalker in its spare time. Great. This just got better and better.

"How..." Began Amalia, but she was immediately interrupted by Leander.

"I want a steak!"

Nothing happened.

I hesitated for a moment, then I thought, as quietly as possible: A steak for Leander? Again, I felt the tingling and before Leander stood a plate with a raw steak.  

"What?" Leander laughed, but I lifted my eyes to the ceiling and shook my head. The nymph said it was playful. The Castle was a know-it-all ass... I should probably not think something like that if it could read my thoughts.

"I meant prepared of course." Again, a tingling in my stomach and the raw piece of meat was a prepared steak. It took the Castle not even a heartbeat to fulfil my wishes.

"Since when can you do that?" Amalia's eyes pierced me. There was her motherly affection again.  

"Since the first morning, but I didn’t know I could do that. The Castle seems to have a connection to... to me and as you can see, it has its very own idea of what I want." Otherwise it would get out of my head.

"The steak tastes great." Leander beamed at me enthusiastically. "Does that mean I don’t have to cook anymore?"

"You should not use your magic so indiscriminately."  

My eyes jumped to the door, where Takumi stood and scrutinised me with a stern look. "You are not yet healed. You should rest.” He sat down at the table beside Leander while keeping his gaze fixed on me. 

"Thank you for curing me."  

He tilted his head for a moment, then glanced at the steak and the pudding. "This is not a balanced diet."  

"What Victor bought wasn’t either," Leander countered, shaking his fork around.

Takumi ignored the steak in front of his face and continued to scrutinise me.

Without really thinking about it I pushed the first spoon with pudding into my mouth. It tasted just as my mother’s. She hadn’t been a housewife – not by a long stretch of the imagination – and she hadn’t been able to cook anything but chocolate pudding. Amazing what you could remember from when you were four.

I took another spoonful of pudding. A magical castle without a hidden treasure? Was that even possible? Not even I could have such bad luck! I looked up at the ceiling again, ignoring the others around me. "Castle, is there a treasure chamber or money?" It tweaked in my stomach and the next moment I fell on hard stone. No matter where I was, it was pitch black and icy cold. 

"Funny," I muttered, and, still holding the spoon, dragged myself up. My muscles still wouldn’t do as they were told without reminding me how much they hurt. It wasn’t half as bad as – what had once been – the skin on my back which was now torturing me with newfound enthusiasm. "Light would be great." A tingling in my stomach and light flooded the room.

I stood in a vault. A giant vault, with shelves full of bundles of money and boxes that looked as though they were filled with gold, jewels and jewellery. I stepped closer to the shelves and made out a number of currencies. Some of them could be straight out of a museum. But there was enough usable money that we wouldn’t have to worry about how to sell anything from here. With my luck all of this was probably cursed, but what could actually happen to me that hadn’t already happened? 

I grabbed a bundle of banknotes and stopped. "Do we have cars here too?" Before I could clarify my mistake, it tweaked in my stomach and I was standing in the dark again, but the Castle seemed to learn fast. Before I could say anything, torches flickered. I was in something that you could call a garage, if you also parked carriages in garages. But even if they weren’t cars, the castle knew what I meant and showed me what was the next best thing.

"Thank you, Castle." I suppressed pungent sarcasm. The actions of the Castle seemed like that of a child and it seemed to want to be friends with me. Since it could suck me dry like a battery, it was a good idea to show some good will.

"Bring me back to the dining room." It tingled again and a moment later I stood on the table in the dining room, one foot in Amalia’s porridge. I couldn’t have been away for more than a few minutes, but the hall was empty and I heard shouting through the corridors.  

"I'm in the dining room!" I shouted toward the door and stopped. Why had I told them? I shrugged my shoulders and jumped from the table. My muscles were screaming and I almost fell to the ground. I thrust one arm out and caught myself, but my back paid the price for that.

"Um, Castle, a breakfast buffet would be good if ..." I felt a pinch again, this time more intense, as I sat carefully on the chair and it appeared on the right side of the wall. Tables, loaded with so much food that it would have been enough for a whole wedding company.  

"Cass!" Leander rushed into the dining room. "Where were you?"

I raised the bundle of banknotes. "I've got money."

"What... From where?" Lea started, but I interrupted him.  

"There are no cars, but a vault."

"Cass, you should really rest." Takumi stepped right behind Amalia into the dining room. His face darkened as he saw the buffet.

"That..." In the absence of a better term, I chose the first one I came up with. " _Jumping_ wasn’t intentional. I only thought aloud." What did I do? Finding justifications for Unmenschen? I should take one of my daggers and free myself from the misery.

"Then you should not be doing that, should you?" Amalia stared at me and her gaze wandered from the ruined porridge to my smeared foot. At least I guessed it did. Her dissatisfied frown at my foot indicated that much and I couldn’t really blame her there.

 _Castle, could you_... I started to think when the oatmeal and the smeared wanna-be-oatmeal vanished and the table were set with eight plates. The pinching didn’t hurt, but it appeared as if it was actually tiring me. I knew I wouldn’t get any magic from the Castle. That would be too good to be true.  

"Cass!" Takumi didn’t raise his voice but it was clear he was displeased, not to mention furious. Leander just laughed.

"Was that you or the Castle?"

"I'm not sure ..." I admitted, casting a glance at the ceiling. I was sure I hadn’t finished the thought nor had I even thought about eight plates but there they were. On the other hand, it dug up the pudding of my mother, who had been dead for almost fifteen years, from my subconscious. Did it really make that big a difference? Something too alike to panic but I smothered it before anyone else could recognise it. There was a time and a place to think about all of this. Right now wasn’t it.

My eyes wandered from Takumi to Amalia, both looking at me with petrified faces and obvious discontent, while Leander already ransacked the buffet with his plate. The castle had cleaned up his steak, but not the chocolate pudding standing in front of me. Almost like a peace offering.

I let my spoon slip back into the bowl and threw another unsure look at the ceiling while eating more pudding. _Castle, can you answer?_ I asked cautiously in my mind. It wasn’t really a deliberate action, more a thought, but how did one stop one’s thoughts? The almost familiar sensation in my stomach didn’t happen; instead, the skin on the back of my neck tingled and I had the feeling... I turned around. There was no one behind me. As a hand touched my shoulder, I jerked back and pressed my pudding spoon to his throat.

Leander slowly lifted his hand from my shoulder. "All right, Queen? You look... distracted." He glanced at what my hand held to his throat and a wicked smile crept on his lips. "Not that I don’t believe that a Dragonslayer couldn’t murder me with her pudding spoon, but that would be humiliating for both of us."

I took my hand and the deadly spoon from his throat without responding to his teasing. "I thought..." I glanced over my shoulder again. "I thought I felt something."

"Pain maybe?" Takumi's face showed once again an indifferent mask but he didn’t hide his dislike of the situation.  

"Eat." Amalia pushed the pudding closer to me and crossed her arms over her chest. "You had your fun. Eat and then you lie down again.”

"Perhaps they crowned the wrong one." Leander worked his way through a mountain of food on his plate. His volcanic eyes lay playfully on Amalia's cold face.  

For a second I thought about fighting back. Who did she think she was to tell me what to do? But she was right. Even though I wouldn’t admit it to her face, she had a point. I had to eat and rest. My back had to heal as quickly as possible, and then I had to try to break out of this madhouse.  

I took another spoonful as Lucian entered the dining room. He stopped when he saw me sitting there, and I saw a movement scurry over his face, one I couldn’t grasp. I wasn’t sure if it was just surprise, or something much less flattering. But on the other hand, who cared? I certainly didn’t.

"My Queen." He put a polite smile on his lips and stepped closer. "How are you?"

"Better, thank you." I pushed the next spoonful into my mouth and watched Lucian fall down beside Leander and exchange a few words with him.

My eyes fell on my arms before I stared again at the bowl. I had nearly forgotten the rage but now it was burning again in my stomach. It was hard enough to keep breathing evenly as it was. I balled my fists and exhaled calmly before pushing the bowl aside with controlled movements. “I’m going to bed.”

Four pairs of eyes stared at me.

"Even though the Princess of Darkness may have said it wrong, you should have some food, and I mean more than three and a half spoons of pudding." Lea smiled benevolently, but with a spark of mischief in his eyes.

I raised an eyebrow. "I'm not hungry."  

"You need some food." Takumi's gaze was relentless. "I have not healed you, so that you may now starve."

"I'll make you a plate." Lucian jumped, grabbed my plate and hurried to the buffet.

It was more a reflex to contradict them than my stubbornness. It wasn’t even my hatred for someone trying to decide for me. “What do you care if I live or die? I’m a Dragonslayer and you can’t believe that I’m going to play along or be helpful in the slightest in whatever shit you are planning to do,” I hissed at them menacingly.

Amalia stood in one swift motion. She radiated so much cold I was surprised I couldn’t see the fog of my breath. "Shit? Why did you accept the throne if you did not…?”

"I didn’t!" I snapped like a twelve-year-old. This was getting more embarrassing by the minute. But even if I knew that, I couldn’t stop myself. I hadn’t a weapon at hand because she had dressed me, but if push came to shove, I could make do with a spoon.  

"I do not care." Her voice was so cold that I felt the need to step back, but I hadn’t sunk so low just yet. "You are the Queen and only you can prevent the war for only few will refuse to stand against your judgment. I am not interested in what you think of it, whether you like it or not. I do not care if it is the last thing you do, but as long as you have the runes on your arms, you cannot die." She put her hands on the table and stared at me with those hellish eyes. "You hate us _Unmenschen_ , but should I tell you something? When the fights start, territorial battles will break out which you cannot imagine. Humans will die like flies, and even if I have other reasons than the well-being of mankind, it should be reason enough for you, should it not?"

I stared at her with a contempt worthy of death. "Why should I care?”  

"You said you were a Dragonslayer. Isn’t that what you are doing?”

"You think the Dragonslayers want to save humans?" An angry laugh made its way out of my tight throat. "We don’t care. We kill for the money. It is lucrative and many do it because they love killing." This was unfortunately too true to be good.  

Amalia stared at me. "Then we are lost. I thought the cruel Dragonslayers at least had a logic to justify their crimes, but you are just sick sadists."  

"You’re right." I looked at her with furious amusement. That was the reason I had to go, why I hated my family more than anything else in the world. "We are sadists. We kill puppies and small children and stuff our pillows with them. "  

"I don’t think so." Lucian, still holding my plate, stood beside the table and looked at me. "If you didn’t care, why would you have saved Victor?"

"It was a reflex."   

"It wasn’t a reflex." Leander was still standing in front of me, watching me closely. "You called out his name and only when he didn’t move did you throw yourself before him."

I stared at him angrily.

"Whether you admit it or not, you don’t hate us." Leander’s smile grew wider. Without hesitation, he pressed me down on my chair and put the plate Lucian had prepared in front of me. "If you behave, I don’t have to feed you."

The only weapon I had at the moment was a spoon and the fork that came with the plate. Even if I could kill one of them, I… I suppressed the unbearable anger and frustration. If I wanted to live, then I should just play along. I needed to eat. I needed my strength. The most horrifying thing was maybe my desire to grin at Leander’s lack of seriousness of the situation. He definitely was dangerous.

"Well, then." Leander sat down again and ate another slice of bacon. "The castle really is an excellent cook." He hesitated. "Do you call it cooking when it comes out of nothing?"

I continued to stare at him. He couldn’t have a single spark of intelligence in his head. Yes, I had to keep him in mind.  

Takumi had also filled his plate with fruits and something that looked far too healthy. He started eating but kept an eye on me at all times. 

Amalia was still sitting beside me with rage-filled eyes, her arms crossed over her chest. How could Takumi and Leander have ever believed that I could be safe with her? I hesitated. Why did I believe I was safe with _them_? I bit my teeth together and suppressed an energetic head-shaking. I was probably safer with Amalia than anyone else. She didn’t pretend to like me. She made no effort to conceal the fact that she needed me for her purposes, which gave me some certainty. As long as she needed me, she would defend me as well. And, if I was lucky, she would not kill me in time either. However, I decided as I turned away from her abysmal black eyes that if I were to infiltrate something, I would apply exactly this strategy. No secrets.

I tried the scrambled eggs. Very tasty, but I could hardly swallow anything. Lucian had also put fresh fruit on my plate, probably to pacify Takumi. I ate some of it before I looked at Takumi with a raised eyebrow. He frowned minutely. I could practically see his thought process whether or not to force me to eat more before deciding that it had to be enough for the time being. He nodded once. I had become a fucking lap dog.

I stood up and intended to leave the room with my head held high. Then my knees buckled beneath me and I stumbled into Leander's arms.

"I knew I was irresistible, but you’re a little forward, my Queen. The Princess of Darkness will be jealous." Leander steadied me while standing up himself. If I had my spoon, I would have killed him on the spot.  

I gave him an annoyed look, which he completely ignored as he grabbed one of my arms and pulled me out of the room. Takumi, who apparently assumed that Leander would be enough to get me to my room, went ahead.

Something akin to anxiety arose in me when I was almost dragged against my will toward my bedroom by Leander. I could hardly move. If they wanted to kill me – and I couldn’t be sure they wouldn’t – I had no way of defending myself against both of them. I knew Takumi would wait there to examine me. I knew that? How did I know? For all I knew, they wanted to cut me into thousand pieces.  

"Calm down." Leander's voice was quiet and serious.

I gave him a surprised look. Now he was creepy again.

"You should get it together. Accepting a Dragonslayer as our Queen is hard enough, even without you actively trying to piss us off." His volcanic eyes once flickered over to me, and I saw a deep understanding lurking in them, understanding for the larger contexts.  

"I–" I started, but I had no idea how I should finish the sentence.

Takumi had spread his utensils on one of the cherrywood commodes and was just stirring something that, to my pleasure, seemed to be blood soup.

Lea helped me lay down on my stomach and I felt with growing panic as he pulled up my shirt. They hadn’t killed me in the past two days but it didn’t sooth my panic one damn bit. 

"This will hurt." Takumi's voice was calm and completely neutral.

"I know." Damn everything hurt. Despite the muscle pain I dug my hands into the pillow and waited. The pain started as soon as the ointment touched my skin, but it was by no means the worst thing I had experienced in the last few days.

As my whole back burned, Takumi pulled down the T-shirt again and stood up. "You should get some sleep."  

What a brilliant idea. I would do that while a forest fire was raging on my back. It was hard enough to continue breathing. 

A movement of the mattress betrayed what I had not noticed before, Leander sat on my bed and watched me. Great, I had viewers for my agony.

"Go away Leander."

“Lea.” 

“Go to hell, _Lea_ ,” I pressed between my lips while withholding the curses and screams.

"Not a chance." The mischief was back in his voice. "I've always wanted to see a Dragonslayer sleeping. You have to know, in our children's stories you are demons and it's funny to see a wounded demon with a doll face. I mean a deadly combat machine who fills her pillow with puppies and babies and kills with a pudding spoon." I knew that I would have to pay for that one.  

Slowly I turned my head and stared at him. "Why are you here?" It cost me dearly to keep the pain out of my voice.

His smile didn’t change, but his eyes became ... deeper somehow. More menacing and creepier. "That is a very personal question, my Queen. I will answer it if you have an answer yourself." 

I stared for a moment into those eyes which, though I would never betray it to him, frightened me more than the black holes under Amalia's lids. Then I turned my head away and let myself surrender to the coming powerlessness.


	5. Sunshine

I woke when Leander tried to leave the room silently. I didn’t react to it, as I hadn’t reacted when he had moved from the bed to one of the armchairs. The burning of the ointment had almost subsided. My muscles were less tense since I had moved normally in my sleep. The fact that I fell asleep after that, despite him being in my bedroom, was still a miracle and something I should think about. While I was at it, I could ask myself how the hell I could have slept through the commotion right outside my bedroom door. As it was now, I just listened to the angry voices.

"We should wake her up."  

"No way."

"She is the Queen."

"She's a Dragonslayer ..."

"She saved you from the poison!"

"Yes, and now you all believe that she is on our side!"

"You think she hoped to survive the poison and was deliberately ..."

"I've seen her face. She didn’t know." That was Amalia's cold voice, followed by a moment of silence. It was easy to pick her deep female voice out of the male ones. I didn’t care enough to try and decipher the others and yawned.

"We should tell her."

"Why? She can’t go with us, can she, witch?" 

"Do not call me a witch."

"Children, we should play nice." 

"Who asked you? You're only the Jester!"

I heaved a sigh in my pillow and tried to ignore them. I didn’t need to listen to them quarrel like three-year-olds. _You are stupid. No, you are stupid. Mom, he hit me with a shovel._ Disgusting.

The pressure in my bladder reminded me of good reasons to leave my warm bed and I pushed myself up. It took me a moment to notice that something was wrong. Well not wrong. Something was right and that shocked me far more. I wasn’t in pain. The skin on my back still stretched uncomfortably and I felt every movement in my muscles like tiny needles trying to hold them still, but I didn’t hurt anymore.

For just a second my gaze snapped to the hyacinth blossom hidden between the other stone flowers on my wall. None of the Unmenschen would notice me if I slipped quietly through the secret passage. I could leave the Castle and… But as much as I wanted to go – and I wanted to go so fucking damn much – I still needed answers. I felt a trickle of fear wandering down my back. Were those my thoughts, or was the Castle playing with me again?

"She needs to go. Without her, we have no rights to..." Richard gently intervened.

"If she dies, all this will be for nothing!"

"What exactly does the inquiry say?"  

"Danger of uncovering the Paien community." Victor still sounded angry.

"That is the Queen's business. We have to take her with us."

"Great idea, maybe she can stab us in the back." Victor hissed at Lucian. The two were like growling wolves. "Don’t you think this act would be a great idea for the Dragonslayer to get rid of us?"

I ignored the secret passage, and the question if the Castle made me want to stay. Could he really believe I was still a Dragonslayer? Could he be so fucking stupid? Hot anger raged inside of me and burned all my other thoughts. I didn’t want to give him credit for thinking outside the box. Saving someone and getting injured while doing so was a good plan to infiltrate your enemies. It was a good plan if you knew you would survive. But I hadn’t known. I hadn’t thought about it. I had reacted because I was damn stupid. The air burned inside my lungs as I tried to keep calm. I wasn’t a Dragonslayer. I wasn’t Melrose’s puppet anymore and I never would be. I would rather kill myself than do her bidding one last time.

The anger burned my will to hold myself back and I jumped out of the bed, leaving my daggers behind. I grabbed the door and pulled it open with such force it smashed into the wall.

The voices stopped immediately.

"Cass..." Takumi started, but I ignored him and stared at Victor.  

"Do you really think I'm still a Dragonslayer?" I hissed at him angrily. My fury bubbling like hot water. "Apart from the fact that I could have killed you the moment you crossed the threshold, no Dragonslayer would ever have warned you of the poison. No Dragonslayer would have shielded you from it!"

"Oh, yes, the _heroic saving_.” Victors voice was so barbed with malice it could have ripped me to shreds if I hadn’t been so fucking angry. His black eyes burned with rage, as if my attempt to save him had personally offended him. “It was quite convenient to show us that your alliance shifted, wasn’t it?”

"Don’t worry.” My voice was as brutally cold as his. “That was a reflex. I will never try to save you again. Next time, mermaid, I’ll push you into the acid. Promise.” The smile I showed him was more like the way a white shark would bare his teeth to his pray than anything else. I saw the minute shiver that went down his spine. I hated to be feared. Most of the time. Right now, I wanted to make him pay.

Victor kept glaring at me as I ignored his fighting stance. I would bet my life he was just waiting for an opportunity to kill me. I wanted him to try. I wanted to fight him, to direct all my rage at him and to destroy… No. There was no need for that and blood was so damn hard to wash out of the carpets.

“My Queen, we are so glad that…” Richard tried to save the situation, but I ignored him. I wanted this fight. I _needed_ this fight.

"You want to attack me, don’t you? Come on, I'm hurt and unarmed. Even you could take me down, _mermaid_." We Dragonslayers didn’t know everything, but we knew how to provoke our opponents. My first words had probably been something offensive.

Before any of the others could have said a word, Victor threw himself at me. He didn’t even use his doubtless impressive power of deception. If I had felt generous I would have guessed that he wanted to give me chance to defend myself. As I felt a little homicidal at that precise moment, I only thought of ways to hurt him. 

I jumped backwards through the still open door into my bedroom and laughed. I was faster than him and not as hurt as I had pretended to be. This was what I was good at. This was what my instinct, my blood, my being required. And even if I didn’t give in, I could kick his ass seven ways to Sunday.

I jumped back again, rolled over the far too wide bed and bit back a hiss. That had _hurt_. With a smile, I showed him the two daggers that I had grabbed from under the pillows.

I saw Victor's pupils dilate in his black eyes and knew he was going to use his magic. I jumped over the bed with two long strides. It would take him at least two seconds to build up his power and I was not going to give them to him. With a gleeful smile, I threw myself at him.

Victor quickly stepped aside and swung a dagger against me. I ducked it in my jumping motion.

"Stop!" Shouted one of the others, but no one dared to actually stop the fight. The silver of our blades grew thicker, while we danced and slashed at each other. The only reason that neither of us were hurt yet was because of our restraint. Even if we wanted to hurt each other – and I had no doubt that he _wanted_ to hurt me – neither of us wanted to be the first to draw blood.

I pushed him back two steps and attacked him with both daggers. The weak spot of the magic of an Irrlicht was close-combat, or it normally was. He was quite good. He was actually better than I wanted to admit. It was difficult to not harm your enemy while fighting so close and fast with sharp edged weapons. It had taken me years to learn this precision. He hadn’t touched me yet, hadn’t even slashed my clothes. At least right now he wouldn’t kill me. He just wanted to beat me. A cruel smile crept on my lips, but I banished it immediately. I wouldn’t shed a drop of his blood, but I would beat him.

Victor's eyes burned, for he knew I wouldn’t give him a chance to hex me. A smile lay on his lips, as if that was according to his taste. He pulled his free fist back to distract me and tried to sink the hilt of his dagger in my stomach. Too easy.  

I threw myself to the side and jumped on the commode, whirled around and kicked his chest to distract him. I jumped forward in the same motion, throwing myself over his shoulders and tearing him off his feet. He landed with his back on the ground. I twisted in the last second around my own axis and landed kneeling above his head, with crossed dagger blades above his throat. I forced myself to breathe calmly. My back was throbbing mercilessly, but I didn’t show him my pain.

Victor’s eyes burned with hatred and reluctant recognition – probably a reason for the hatred. It wasn’t a good idea to betray me. Hell, it wasn’t even a good idea to trick me. I knew how to pay debts. 

My smile shifted from a baring of teeth to an innocent version of my sarcastic lip curl. My legs were trembling slightly from the fight. Another hint from my body that I wasn’t healed and should at least try to rest some more. I ignored it and stood up with as much grace as I could, slipping the daggers into the waistband of my trousers.

Victor scrutinised me a moment longer. I could only guess what he thought behind those dark eyes with their hidden light. I had wondered before how his pupils could shine light in the dark, but now was not the time. I stared down at him, as if I actually killed him. If he was waiting for me to offer him a hand, he would lay there forever.

“Maybe you’re not as useless as I thought.” He stood up smoothly and put away his blade. 

"You know, I've been waiting for this sentence all my life." I gave him my best impression of an optimistic, child-like smile. "I'm going to take a shower now and if you're still here when I’m dressed and you don’t kill me, I'll go with you to whatever we've been asked to." I threw the others the same smile and walked calmly to my bathroom.

As soon as I had closed the door my smile vanished and with it the last of my hope. Aside from Leander – who had not even tried to hide his laughter – no one had appeared to be happy. In fact, they all seemed frozen in shock or disgust. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a little fear and disgust. Most of the time it makes your life a little easier, as no one will approach and annoy you, but these Unmenschen were living here too.

Most of them probably wanted to kill me already and, if they worked together, I wouldn’t stand a chance. Sure, they needed me to play dress-up, but I had no guarantee that they wouldn’t just snap or decide that whatever they were facing without their precious Queen wasn’t worse than letting me live.

"Can’t change it now," I muttered to myself, ignoring the heavy dread settling in my stomach. I streaked my hair back in a quick motion, ignoring the protest of my muscles and the tickling sensation of my hair brushing the bare skin of my back.

I undressed and dropped my clothes on the floor. I enjoyed the warm water on my skin and the flowery smell of the shampoo for as long as I could. My muscles loosened up and I was able to touch the uneven skin on my back without screaming in pain or throwing up. I had to remind myself at least four times that I _wanted_ to go with the others. I couldn’t really say why, except that I wouldn’t let myself be put in a corner. I couldn’t be weak now. I had to probe my strength.

Goosebumps covered my arms when I grabbed the towel and started to rub the soft fabric over my branded and scarred body. I stopped abruptly when I noticed that my clothes were gone.

"What..." I started as I had a suspicion and my gaze wandered to the ceiling. "Did you steal my clothes, Castle?" As expected, I didn’t get a reply, but when I thought about it, it was the only logical explanation. Which, in itself, was very disturbing, if I considered this as logical. My eyes slid to the towel in my hand. I was pretty sure that none of the others had brought clean towels into my bathroom, so that must have been the work of the Castle too.

I wrapped myself in the wide towel and threw another suspicious look to the ceiling. "Can you answer me? Um... for 'yes', flicker twice with the lamps and do once long for 'no'." I waited. Nothing happened.  

"Great, I'm talking to a stone-block." I muttered annoyed at myself as the light flickered twice. I froze. Either the stone building actually could answer me or I was losing it for real.

"Did you just answer me?"  

Again, the light flickered twice.

"Um... Did you bring the towel...?"

The light flickered twice.  

"Thanks? I forgot my clothes, so could you... Wait!" I quickly interrupted myself. "I would like underwear, some grey jeans, a shirt and a grey leather jacket. _Without_ frills." I stressed.  

I felt a pinching in my stomach, and clothes appeared on the chair next to the make-up table. The leather jacket was soft and tight-cut and of an anthracite grey, just like the jeans. The shirt was red, just like the leather boots.

"Thanks, but... I don’t really wear red.”

Since nothing changed, I sighed and put them on, everything except the bra. I didn’t have to torture myself. They fit perfectly, and the red was of such a dark tone that it accentuated my violet eyes. Not only did the Castle know what I needed, it could colour code my clothes better than I could. It doesn’t even have eyes for fucks sake! 

The heavy dread in my stomach was now accompanied by bubbling worry. I knew magic existed since I could crawl but this was _more_. This wasn’t just magic, this was… I couldn’t explain this feeling in the back of my head, this all outdoing knowledge that _this_ was more. And I was bound to it. My fingernails left crescent shaped marks on my arms as I unclenched my hands from them. I needed to play this game for as long as possible so that I could learn anything there was about the Queen and more importantly about the Castle and its magic. Then I could flee.

"I am so overdressed," I murmured as I combed my wet hair and braided it loosely. I ignored the dark circles under my eyes and forced my lips into a smile.This was the best I could do, and if it wasn't much – well I never wanted to look like Snow White anyway.

I wanted to leave the bathroom and check if they hadn’t left in the last twenty minutes, but I didn’t move. With a frustrated sigh, I took off the leather jacket and pulled my shirt up. I turned to the mirror wall. Scars spread over the whole of my back. The highest touched my left shoulders, the lowest were half hidden by the jeans. I had seen it before since I had touched some of the angry red lines just minutes ago. It didn’t change the revulsion in the back of my throat.

They looked far older than they should. I would have guessed them to be at least a couple of months old, not mere days. I moved myself a little and watched the skin stretch over my muscles. It would take some more time before I wouldn’t feel anything, before I could see them without the taste of bile in my mouth. But I wasn’t permanently damaged.

"Unmenschen saved my life." I shook my head, almost amused. I slipped into the leather jacket again and stepped out into my bedroom where the others were still waiting for me – it seemed like they really needed me. That opened new possibilities for me and I smothered a cruel smile before it could show on my face. If I had to stay here – at least for the moment – I should enjoy myself and make life as difficult as possible for my _new friends_. And even now – without me trying – most of them were already pleasantly pissed off. Except for Leander of course, who still smiled brightly.

"At least now you look like royalty," Leander purred, his smile growing even wider.

I turned to Takumi, ignoring Leander’s comment and the other Unmenschen. "Thank you for healing me."

He nodded. The fact that I thanked him appeared to unsettle him. You could see it in his… well the slightly different moving of the bands in his pupils? Actually, the Castle was _a lot_ more expressive than Takumi.  

“So… what’s going on?” I smiled at all of them, ignoring their hostile glares as Amalia had.

Victor's eyebrow moved up a millimetre. "You should eat something,  _my Queen_."

"He's right. You must have some food." Richard carefully moved a step toward me and then stopped. "I've never seen anyone fight like that." He had a sort of reverend expression mixed with his fearful one.  

I shrugged. "Only few see it and can tell the tale." I gave Victor's angry glare only an enthusiastic smile. Ah, yes, that was good.

I watched the others during breakfast. The mood had changed. It wasn’t necessarily more hostile, but it was definitely less friendly. I noticed the many looks. Presumably, Richard had formulated it aptly. They had seen what I was capable of and knew for a fact now that I was a great danger, but I could also be a usable weapon in their hands if they could control me. It was tough luck that they wouldn’t be able to; Melrose had spent years training and disciplining me without succeeding and they hadn’t even leverage against me.

"Would anyone tell me what that commotion was all about?” I asked, nibbling at a pancake.

"What did you hear?"

"Danger of uncovering the Paien community." I repeated his words and smiled dejectedly as I noticed the throbbing in his temple. It was nearly too easy to get him agitated.

"Well, let's hope it's not a trap this time." I popped a blueberry in my mouth and tapped a steady rhythm with my fingers on the smooth wooden table, just to annoy one or two of them.

Even the last silent conversations died down and everyone stared me. I raised an eyebrow. "Surely you've noticed that our first assignment was a trap."

"We weren’t sure." Lucian's rainbow-colored eyes were wide. Probably not because I guessed, but because I had figured it out. That was insulting.

"Let's look at the facts." I leaned back against the chair, playing with the knife in my hand.

"We arrived at a deserted factory, far from any civilization. Who knew that there were acid splashing Unmen... Paien? When we entered the building, everyone was hiding, so that they had encircled us the second we were walking across the threshold. How did they know we were coming? How could they conceal themselves so strategically? Even a kindergartener would know this was a trap."

"That means they wanted to kill one of us." Anakleto said blank, trying really hard not to look at me.

"Or all of us." Richard muttered. His eyes, full of flames, looked concerned, but no one seemed to pay him much attention.

"They wanted to get the Queen out of the way." Amalia's black holes tried to swallow me whole. "And even though nobody knows you're a Dragonslayer yet. That's reassuring."

"That’s what I figured." I put the knife down and reached for my green tea. "The Queen is hated either way. At least I don’t have to adjust to new reactions."

"But who wanted to kill us... or you?" Richard’s voice was even higher pitched now.

"There could be hundreds." Victor looked annoyed. "All those who want the war, all who still hate the old Queen, all who consider a Queen to be unnecessary or take advantage of the lack of leadership, or..."

"We get it, everybody wants to kill us." Leander didn’t seem surprised or interested in the least. "The question rather is, who is angry or desperate enough to try to kill the Queen and her followers the day after the coronation.”

"I'd say it was strategically well thought-out." Takumi sat up even straighter. Just by looking at him I felt my spine ache. "We do not know or trust each other. I'd try to kill us now."

I nodded in agreement. "Lure us into an ambush and then slaughter one after the other. That would have to give you a nice advantage." It was the way I would do it, and actually I had already done it.

"Oh, for sure. With the murder of the Queen and her entourage, you would have a good start into a war," Anakleto calmly agreed.

"Why didn’t they try to set us against each other?" I asked thoughtfully, while I maltreated a chocolate muffin. They talked of war, but probably meant only the territorial struggles that had always existed between the Unmenschen, or probably since the last Queen had ditched her duties.

"What do you mean?" Richard leaned forward with his big orange eyes.

"Takumi is right. We know nothing of each other and we do _not_ trust in each other." Not that that would ever change. "Why not blame one of us as an accomplice, or two, and set us against each other? If they have chosen this early time to be able to kill us more easily, then why don’t they use our greatest weakness to its full extent?"

"Perhaps they didn’t think they had to." Lucian's soft facial features grew angry. "After all, only the weak want to prevent war."

Anakleto nodded. "We've all heard that one."

I said nothing, but kept my gaze on the chocolate muffin. My hands trembled slightly, but I could control it. I knew I could control it. I took small and controlled breaths.

"And what do we do now?" Anakleto looked around with a mixture of challenge and anticipation. "We can’t do nothing. I mean we have to do something! That’s what we are here for!" His eyes wandered to me and for the first time I saw something… positive? Hope. The hope that I was actually interested in what happened here and what should be my duties. Oh, he had to be fucking kidding me!

Today, Anakleto's hair was sand blond and his eyes were a light grey. His face was still edgy, but softer than on the night I first met him. He looked like a pre-schooler in a much too large body. The sparkle of hope in his eyes made him appear even younger.

"I don’t care. But whatever we do, I won’t throw myself in front of anyone, just to be clear." I crossed my arms and smiled at Victor. I was no longer trembling and the all-consuming fire inside me had calmed down.

"No one asked you to," Victor declared indifferently.

"Nah, nah, Vicky, we want to be grateful." Leander ignored the look of hatred Victor threw at him and turned to me. "Queeny, you should stay here. That's your job."

"Oh, of course, Lea. Because I really care ... "

His volcanic eyes became somewhat darker. I saw the same seriousness as yesterday and asked myself why I cared. Why I used his nickname as he wanted me to.

"The Jester is right." Amalia turned to me as well. No emotions showed on her silver shimmering face. "If it's a trap again, we just need to destroy each and every one of them."

"Great plan, Princess of Darkness. I’ll bake some heart-shaped cookies to place on the bodies to show everyone that we want to bring peace.”

"Okay, that’s settled than." We wouldn’t get anywhere without getting wherever we had to go. "Lea bakes and the rest packs their weapons." I was aware that this could be my end. I wasn’t fully recovered; I hadn’t all my strength and I was surrounded by potential deadly enemies. On the other hand, every day was a new chance to die and I was not about sitting in this Castle, waiting for… whatever would come. I shook my head once.

"Wait." Lea ran behind me as I went back to my room. "I'm not staying here."

"I thought you wanted to bake?" I gave him an innocent smile.

"It's really not easy to be on your side, you know?"

"Yes, I was told. And you're not on my side."

"I will be." He stood with his arms crossed in front of my clothes and armour.

"Why?" I met his eyes and suppressed a shudder. Only his smile reminded me that he wasn’t the murderer of my father. And he didn’t smile.

"You're the Queen and you have to live." He didn’t say it angrily, but so factually that I was tempted to believe him. "No matter how hard you fight it, you've saved the Irrlicht and you didn’t kill him when you beat him in battle. You're not a Dragonslayer anymore. And if you don’t want to die alone, you are almost out of options."

"Wow. You ought to become a used car salesman." That was – depressingly – almost the truth. But just almost. There was someone I cared for and had to find. I would find him even if it was the last thing I ever did.

"My goal is to work for the suicide hotline, all those poor people who can’t make the next step." He shook his head sadly and I pushed him aside. It wasn’t until then that I realized that I had so casually touched him.

"Why do you want to come along?"

"I don’t trust the others. Amalia and Takumi will protect you, but the rest... "

"Victor will definitely want to kill me," I agreed. "And Amalia just wants my arms. But why should I believe you?"

"You probably shouldn’t." His smile was so peaceful that it hurt. I had only once seen a similar facial expression, and it had been much more traumatic. The sadness hit me unprepared, but I forced myself to shake it off. He wasn't my brother. He wasn’t Shane.

"But you want to protect me?"

"Don’t worry, I just want to prove to my family that they are wrong. And if I'm lucky," he winked," then we meet them sooner or later and stop their stupid attempts at power."

I was pretty sure that he thought of something less final than I did, but I nodded. "You haven’t killed me so far, I guess I can tolerate you while I’m conscious." No, what did I do?

"Stop it, I’m going to blush." He nudged my arm playfully. "I'll get my weapons." He turned and was almost out of the door when I called him.

"Lea?"

He turned around smiling.

"Did someone try to kill me when I was unconscious?"

"No." His smile was still on his lips, but his eyes were more serious. "No one, but the Princess of Darkness, sir of I-don’t-care-about-all-of-your-stupid-feuds and your Jester haven’t left your side for a second."

"Thank you."  

He gestured a bow and left me alone.

\-----------------

"I'll draw the Circle." Takumi's eyes burned into mine as I watched the golden ribbon in his pupils turn and twist.

"Go ahead, I won’t keep you from doing it." The thought that my last Circle had worked so well at all surprised me. I had learned the magic secretly and hadn’t known until then that I could carry so many people with me, but none of them would ever know that.

Lea stood next to me, still talking nonstop about whatever bullshit he came up with. I had to admit that his family had a point thinking he would be able to make the Queen fail in whatever she tried to do, because I was already contemplating a mercy killing.

Amalia stood to my left, as Leander was happily bouncing up and down on my right. Even though that might be a safety measure by them, I did _not_ feel safer. At all.

"What does the Jester do here?" Richard asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Telling jokes. For example, the one about a fire creature that was burned with a candle."

Hadn’t he been the one complaining it wasn’t easy to be on my side? He should try being on his side for once.

"He's coming with. It’s not bad to have as many running targets as possible."  

"You should stay behind this time." Amalia murmured, probably rolling her eyes – if she could do that without pupils.

"Amalia is right, Cass..." began Richard, but I dismissed it with a hand gesture.

"So that you can tell me afterwards that I used you as cannon fodder? I don’t think so."

"Who described us as running targets?" Victor murmured, but his gaze was less aggressive as it had been during breakfast.

"The Circle is completed." Takumi stood up and pointed at the Circle. "All aboard. Queen, go into the middle. "

I raised an eyebrow, but complied with his wishes. Involuntarily, I turned my back to Lea. Why did I believe that he wouldn’t stab a dagger at me? I relied too much on him. Way too much. The trickle of fear that was present since I felt the magic of the Castle for the first time increased again. I couldn’t be sure that my actions and decisions were in fact mine and not controlled by the stalker-Castle. Instead of acknowledging the threat, I listened to the incantation formula and let myself be torn into the swirl of darkness.

We arrived in a garden, or more specifically in a sandbox. I didn’t see much through the self-esteemed bodyguards standing close to me, but I heard the high scream of a child and pushed Lucian aside without a second thought – or a first to be honest.

In front of me in the sandbox was a little boy of perhaps three years. He was in little dungarees, with bright green eyes and sea-green hair, and had the gentle imprint of gills on his neck. 

"Teddy, what..." I heard the voice of a woman calling from the open door of the house leading to the garden, but the little one wasn’t interested in his mother. He stood awkwardly on his small legs and stepped closer to us with big eyes.

He wasn’t the first Unmenschen-child I saw, but it was the first time I didn’t need grab him and stuff him into the next bush so nobody else could see him.

Teddy stumbled toward me, his big green eyes fixed on me as if the others weren’t there. Without thinking, I crouched down and smiled. "Hey, little one."

He beamed and presented a whole series of needle-pointed teeth, then he chuckled and stretched out his arms. I reacted instinctively, stretching my arms out and lifting him up. "Man, you're heavy," I murmured as he pulled at my hair and I ignored my protesting back.  

"Um..." Lucian started when he was interrupted by a high-pitched scream of pure terror.  

"What...?" A young woman with equally green eyes, sea green hair and much longer teeth stood in the narrow door leading into the garden, with a mixture of panic and horror in her eyes.

"Hey." I smiled and took a step toward her, which she commented with a twitching of her body. As if she wasn’t sure if she wanted to start or flee. "He’s a sweet fellow." That really didn’t help the situation at all. I placed the kid gently on the ground and pushed him towards his mother all the while smiling reassuringly. I didn’t even want to imagine what she must thinking. Seven heavenly armed people standing in her back garden holding her child.

"Who are you?" The mother seemed desperate to find her posture again. She crouched on the ground and held out her arms. "Come here, Teddy."

Teddy didn’t need another call and hopped over the edge of the sandbox and into his mother's waiting arms. She pressed him to her as if she was afraid we would take the little one away from her. I couldn’t blame her. But I wouldn’t have left my child out of my sight. This world was brutal. Leaving a child to himself – even for a second – was unpardonable stupidity.

"We are the Queen's royal state and her Majesty herself." Victor's voice was deep, and awe-inspiring, and would be very impressive to one who hadn’t heard the bickering this morning.

The young woman became even paler and took a step back. She was now shivering so badly that she could barely hold onto her son.

"No need to panic." I took my most beautiful smile, plastered it over my face and slowly raised my empty hands. "We were called here and wanted to know if everything is alright." What the hell was I doing? Not only was it clear that everything wasn’t alright – quite possibly because we were here – but… why on earth was I playing along?

Amalia moved slightly beside me, her cool arm brushed against mine as if to remind me that everyone could be dangerous. As if I needed the reminder. Even if I had just picked up an Unmenschen-child and put its razor-sharp teeth in the reach of my jugular. Shut up, will you? I know I’m stupid sometimes.

"I... we have done nothing wrong!"

"What is this all about?" I asked gently smiling.

"My Queen, please spare us." The woman looked directly at Amalia. "We didn’t do anything wrong."

"She's the Queen." Amalia gently laid a hand on my shoulder and I had to concentrate really hard to not shy away from her touch. Okay that was creepy.

"Que’en!" Cried the little one, waving his arms enthusiastically.

I turned to Takumi. "Is this the right place?"

Takumi raised an eyebrow. "Of course, this is the right place, my Queen." The unspoken: _How stupid do you think I am?_ Hung heavily in the air.

This constant queen-talk got on my nerve, but for now I had other things to worry about.

"Can you tell us why someone gave us your address? We were told that someone would betray Paien-kind to humans. "

The young woman twitched and wrapped her arms even more tightly around her son. I could be very menacing if I wanted to be, but here I really tried to be nice. What the hell was her problem?

"Perhaps you shouldn’t have said that," Lea muttered not very helpful from behind.  

"You stay here." I murmured and took three slow steps towards the mother. "I won’t do anything to you, and certainly not to the little sunshine." Yes, I said it. The horrible Dragonslayer had given the baby boy a nickname. Sue me. "I'm here for a report. What's going on?"

"I made a mistake." Her green eyes were full of panic and terror.

"Okay, what happened?" I took another step toward her and then sat on the edge of the sandbox, with my arms on my knees in an attempt to look as innocent as possible.

"It was my fault."

"What was?" I asked with patience.

"I – I’ve let Teddy swim in the river."  

"Okay." Not really surprising; they were obviously water-Paien. Most of them preferred open waters like rivers.

"People have seen him swim."  

I nodded and waited for more.

"They... they took pictures and... the whole neighbourhood knew about it." A tear run down her cheek and dripped from her chin. The little boy struggled wildly in his mother's arms. He didn’t know what was happening here – and he wasn’t the only one – but he knew that something was wrong.

"What did they know?" I asked quietly.

"That Teddy... That _I_ let Teddy swim in the river. I was there, the whole time, it was my fault! He..."

"Wait." I interrupted her. "What exactly is the problem?"

A second tear joined the first, and it seemed to me that my court would love to tear my head from my shoulders. I could almost feel their waves of contempt.  

"People have seen Teddy swim in the river and have continued to tell..." She sobbed. And yet I heard in her words a doubt about my intelligence. I was starting to take this personally.

"That's all?"

"My Queen." Lucian stepped behind me and bent down to me. "This is not a small mistake. She was seen, and photos were taken..."

"Nonsense. What have people seen? A mother who was swimming with her son in the river." I jerked up and tapped sand from my pants. "The next time someone asks you why you did this, you just tell them you've read that it strengthens the mother-to-child bond, or the body defences of the child, or some bullshit like that and next week they’ll all swim with their children in the river. Humans are stupid. They will believe everything if you sell it convincingly enough."  

She stared at me with a mixture of disbelief and deep gratitude. "Does that mean...?"

"Case closed." I noticed the different looks of my companions and looked at them innocently. "Do I have to sign any form here?"  

"No." Victor looked at me indifferently. "But an explanation with your seal would be a good idea. As affirmation."  

"Yes, sure. My seal. Where did I leave it again?" I gave him an annoyed look and turned to the woman again. "Tell us who has reported you and we tell them that you are innocent, but that you will be more careful from now."

"Yes, of course, I will never again."

"Go with him to the river, I think you need it. But don’t do it secretly. Then people won’t talk about it. And think of a story." I was a holy Samaritan. But my cynicism wasn’t quite as biting as usual. Was that satisfaction I felt?  

She nodded. "Thank you, my Queen, I can’t..."

"It’s alright, isn’t it?" I turned and gave my court a nasty smile. Their game was based on the fact that we were a unity in public; the law, the revenge and this only worked if they didn’t contradict me here. I would have to pay dearly for this, but, here and now, they had no choice but to agree with me. I suppressed a laugh and saw the enthusiastic sparkle in Lea's eyes. I wasn’t the only one having fun.

"I don’t know how to thank you." She smiled hesitantly.

"What is your name? I am..."

"Kate!" Victor interrupted me. "Queen Katharina."  

I left my face unmoved. Cass probably wasn’t a name I should tell them, but Kate?

"I’m sorry, I am Selena." She gestured a bow and smoothed her son's hair. "This is Theodore."

"Nice to meet you." That probably sounded even sillier than it sounded in my ears. Nice to meet you? Was I a fucking Girl Scout? We were prepared for a small war and would have killed them in the second, in which they would have appeared to be a danger to us. Should I introduce the others? Or would that be the dumbest thing I could do today.

"Do you know who reported you?" Amalia now stood next to me, and the little boy looked at her, startled. It was obvious that she was ashamed of me.

"No, not with certainty." The woman looked afraid again, as if Amalia’s presence alone was to be feared.  

"Lying to us is not a good idea." Amalia's voice was gentle, but Selena was on the verge of panicking again and I couldn’t blame her.

"Here in the neighbourhood live a few Paien, I don’t know..."  

"Alright." I really didn’t want to entertain myself with a whole horde of Unmenschen. "If you're having problems, just contact us and watch your little sunshine. And try not to be unobtrusive." I winked. I had finally lost it, for good.

"Thank you!" Before I realized what she was doing, she wrapped her arms around me and pushed the little one against my chest. "Thank you so much!"

"Okay." I patted her awkwardly and was relieved when she broke away again, even though now I was holding her son in my arms. He smiled at me happily and then reached for one of the black strands of Amalia’s hair. She had stood right behind me. Presumably to kill Selena the moment she tried to strangle me in her embrace.

He once pulled at her strand and I laughed.

"You like hair, don’t you?" I asked softly, ignoring the cold breath on my cheek.

"Que’en." He explained, pulling my hair.  

"Okay." I smiled and handed him back to his mother, who was still standing in front of me.

"Thank you."

"You’re welcome." I turned to Takumi.

"The Circle is ready." His voice was flat and his lips pressed together.

I followed the other inside the Circle, and nodded once more to Selena and Teddy before we dissolved into darkness.


	6. The Queen is Dead

"Are you completely mental?" Victor hissed outraged in my direction. He would have probably attacked me if Amalia and Lucian hadn’t stood in his way.

My feet had barely touched the floor of the castle, and because of that I was still trying to regain control of my body. Admittedly it was getting easier, either because Takumi had invoked the magic, or because I was getting used to the horrors of traveling via Circle. In either case it took me less time to focus on not vomiting or passing out. Victor was really pissed. A pity that I didn’t care in the slightest.  

"I think she did well." Leander smiled happily stepping right beside me. Shoulder to shoulder, as if that would improve the situation whatsoever.

"No one asked you!" Richard burst out. He quickly covered his mouth with one hand and looked afraid, as if someone would kill him just for saying what _everyone_ was thinking.

"I agree with Leander." Takumi looked at me with an exaggerated look. He might agree with him, but he was _not_ happy about it.

"Lea." Leander corrected him coolly, without losing his cheerful smile.

Amalia looked at me with crossed arms and a frown. "Perhaps you can be of use to us."

"Thanks so much, that’s what I was hoping for.” I rolled my eyes. The whole trip had been humiliating. Why had I acted the way I did? And I wasn’t just shocked about myself trying to have small talk with some random Unmensch, but actually helping them? A whispering voice in the back of my mind reminded me of all the children I tried to save, and of the times I _didn’t notice_ Unmenschen getting away.

I had felt at peace. Did I know that feeling at all to be able to recognize it?

"I thought it was good." Anakleto beamed at me, as if I had done something heroic and pledged myself to save Paien kind. I hadn’t, had I? No, no I hadn’t.

"I don’t believe it would match our laws,” Lucian murmured. He looked as pleased as Anakleto with the situation. What had happened?

"Do you have law books?” I asked, trying to sound bored and vicious at the same time. “I could look up which law she broke when she was swimming." I wasn’t throwing flowers across a meadow and I didn’t plan on doing so. Everything was good. I had spared Unmenschen in the past. This was absolutely nothing special and absolutely nothing unusual. That was my story and I was going to stick with it.

"It's not that easy. If you appear weak, no one will turn to you, no one will worry about what... " Lucian tried to explain.

"Should I arrest the child? Or the mother?"

"That is weak." Victor hissed at me.

"If anything, it was merciful! And obviously, I should be nice, shouldn’t I, _Kate_?"

"It's another thing to keep your accursed name secret or to throw all laws and traditions off a cliff." He hissed angrily.

"These are not my laws and not my traditions!" I snarled back.

"Actually, these laws and traditions are from your ancestors." Lea patted me lightly on the shoulder. "We can still go back and kill the mother and the child and write a warning to the others in blood on the house wall if you want.” His volcanic eyes first met Victor and then Richard. "Or we try to find strategies for the next situation."

"It is disturbing that the jester has the best proposals." Amalia's voice was calm and factual, but I saw the minute movements of her hands, as if she wanted to strangle someone.

"Then let’s slaughter all the children!" Lea exclaimed enthusiastically and dragged me by my arm towards the dining room.

I reluctantly followed him, but I knew staying here was an even worse option. Lea spent too much time with me. Way too much. But the very thing that made him dangerous could just as well be useful to me, if I could make sense of him.

"What do you want to tell me this time?" I asked the back of his curly head. He hadn’t said a word yet and it started to worry me.

Lea pulled me past the dining room, through halls and into my office. He closed the door behind us, and I commented on it by lifting my eyebrow. He leaned against one of the bookshelves and gestured me to sit down.

I looked at him for a moment with a mask as blank as his own. Lea had courage; not everyone was brave enough to tell me what to do. For just a moment I thought about leaving the room or keep standing just out of spite. But I wanted to know what he had to say. He knew more than he let on, and sooner or later I might need him even if I had survived the bloody Rose. I sat down on the soft cushion, crossing my legs on top of each other.

“Are you going to tell me what the fuck you want now?”

"It wasn’t safe to do what you did." He wasn’t angry, but he had that serious expression in his eyes again. He could be a tactical advisor, but he preferred to play the foolish clown that none of the others took seriously. Lea was brilliant. He was certainly not as deadly as Amalia or Victor, but perhaps he was more dangerous.

"Why didn’t you agree with the others then?" I smiled uncontroversial at him, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Whatever he planned, whatever he _wanted_ , I needed to be careful.

"I can’t stand Rick, and I don’t like Vic that much better." He crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked no longer like a pre-schooler on a sugar rush. In front of me stood a serious young man with at least a dozen aces up his sleeves. Was it brilliant of him to show me this side of him right now or was it stupid and he showed me his cards to soon? I refused to bite my lip and sat as relaxed as before. Lea could become _very_ dangerous to me.

"You're probably right." I crossed my arms over my stomach and ignored whatever feelings tried to get to the surface. "But I don’t even know how long I will play this game." I raised my eyes and met his serious face. "As long as I do, I will not follow any dead rules. The Unmenschen hate me and they should, but I don’t care about them." I stared at him coldly. “I haven’t fled the Dragonslayers and their rules to follow yours here."

"That is called arbitrariness." Leander hadn’t moved, but I saw the harsh lines in his face. I saw his resolve and the determination in his volcanic eyes.

I stared at him. "How could mercy be arbitrariness?"

"It is if you grant it only because you feel like it. The Queen stands for justice. For order. There is no place for arbitrariness."

"I always thought kings and queens were made to rule through bigotry decisions.” I smiled at him sarcastically with a mean glint in my eyes. The Queen of whom he spoke was a saint, but there was no such thing. And, even if saints weren’t fairy tales, I wasn’t a saint. I wasn’t even innocent.

His knowing, calm look unsettled me. How much did he really know? "Queen is the name we gave the position. Actually, you're more like a judge. The Guardian and Preserver of Righteousness."

I laughed. "That sounds even more holy than Queen. I like it." Fucking bullshit. "How do you know all this?"

His face lightened again with mischief, but I still saw the seriousness that was concealed behind it.

"Queen, I was sent to destroy you from within. I know all about your task."

I stared into his creepy eyes and the honest smile. If he was just as good a liar as I was, this could be just as much a lie as the truth. Or a perverse mixture of both.

"If I had been sent to destroy an organization from within, I would do the same as you are doing right now. To make the others think they are safe." My voice was cold and my eyes stared unblinkingly into his.

Lea's smile became deeper. "Then you are wiser than many others." His voice betrayed no emotion, but I thought there was sadness in his words.

What could I answer to that? He admitted more or less that he was adept and brilliant enough to infiltrate us, to play an idiot while pulling the threads in the background. Whether I wanted to or not, I was deeply impressed by his abilities. If he wanted to, he could probably manipulate everyone in this castle. Definitely more dangerous than the rest. Hold your friends close, but your enemies closer – for now I would go along with his act. As long as it helped me find out what I needed to know.

I sat up casually. "Okay, and what are we doing with my inadequate judgement? Even though I find it ironic that you suggest that the bloodthirsty Dragonslayer is too compassionate."

"There's some irony to that, I agree." Lea straightened and walked over to me. I watched his movements closely. I had no doubts about my abilities, but just because I didn’t hate him... I had to be careful with him. I didn’t hate him? I was almost ready to exchange friendship bracelets with him for fucks sake!

"You mentioned these books." He stood next to me and I turned to the desk with the stack of books without letting him out of my sight.

I nodded. "You have volume three of _Future Runes_ in your hand. There are eight or nine of these _extremely helpful_ books. And not one contains a single answer."

"Did you try it?" He flicked through the various runes and remained lingering on one or another.

"When should I have had time for this? The first volume states that this isn’t a reliable science. You only know in retrospect for sure what the runes meant. As I said, so damn helpful, because after an event you can read them however you like. I believe the technical term is self-fulfilling prophecy. I think it’s just-”

"No. You just have to learn to read them.” Leander hadn’t looked up from the book he was scanning, but his voice was intense. As if I would give a rat’s ass what he thought. 

"Do I learn this before or after the laws to be a good Guardian of Righteousness and the Saint of the Unmenschen?" I asked with a bright smile and puppy eyes.

He ignored my sarcasm. "Queen Kate shouldn’t use that word." He frowned annoyed. "It was stupid to lie. Sooner or later the truth will come out."

"Would it have been better to peddle with the fact that I am named like the last Queen?" Did I just take the Irrlicht’s side here? No, it was absolutely not that, even though I wasn’t sure what was happening here.

"No."

"What happened back then?" I asked warily. Why would I believe a single word out of his mouth? Why would I think he would know the truth?

He scanned through another book without stopping. "Nobody knows for sure what happened.” He stopped as if he had found something interesting in the book he was reading but continued a few seconds later. “There are a lot of theories, ones more uncomplimentary to your ancestor than the next. Fact is, as far as you can say today, that Cassandra left the castle at some time and disappeared for years. At some point, she reappeared with a group. She was no longer the Queen, but the leader of the Dragonslayers, and she destroyed us wherever she was able to. After she had sworn to protect and guide us.” He looked up from the book and met my gaze. "If she hadn’t gone, there would be no war today. So much suffering would have been spared to us all. Not least by the Dragonslayers." His voice remained completely expressionless. I could tell he didn’t blame me, but there was anger behind that silence. “As far as I can tell, only a few know that Cassandra became the first Dragonslayer. It was more rumour than fact, but since you came along, I think we can accept it as fact.”

I nodded. What had caused Cassandra to throw her life away and betray everything she believed in? I knew why I had done it, but I had never believed in anything. Perhaps she hadn’t either. Something hot and heavy settled in my gut. Something akin to shame and hatred. This was not the right time – or company – to think about my fucked-up family.

"What war?"

Lea looked up from the books and looked at me again. "After the Queen disappeared, struggles and feuds started, and they haven’t settled yet. In fact, they are getting worse with every passing year. If you want to know more, you should talk to the others." His eyes wandered back to the books and I looked at him more intently. There was something in his voice, but Lea kept silent.

Silently, we flicked through the books. The Castle even provided Leander with a chair when I asked it to. There was no reason to believe Lea. Not the story about the last Queen, nor the rest, or anything else. But I believed him, an Unmensch. I went almost as far as to trust him. And it wasn’t the Irrlicht with its magic, but a volcano with a preschool charm! I should go sit on a high mountain and wait until I was hit by lightning. Whatever the hell was going on, I needed to keep a clear head. I trusted only a single person in this world and that wasn’t me and certainly not an Unmensch. How could it come to this? How could I end up here and have a conversation with something… with...? No, these were the thoughts of a Dragonslayer, not mine.

I forced myself to banish all senseless thoughts from my head, which had always been my greatest weakness. I thought too much. Way too much for my unfortunate luck.

I reached for a worn little leather book and opened it. The first page was full of all sorts of titles, of which Guardian of Righteousness was the least holy. A sentence had been scrawled down in the same unclean handwriting: Call myself Queen now. 

I couldn’t suppress a grin. It seemed as if my predecessors had been similarly plan-less. Immediately I avoided the thought as if it was poisoning me. I was _not_ the Queen and I would never be. I only played her for a while to get to know the weaknesses of my enemies, learn important information and then flee. Forever. That was the plan, and no one could convince me otherwise.

I turned and scanned the pages. I nearly burst out laughing when I read a hastily scribbled part:

_It is senseless to stick to laws. Situations and Paien should be considered individually. The opinion of the consultants should be heard in every case, but in the end the Queen's dictum of judgment counts, and no one else’s. Compassion is to be preferred. Only three laws are existential._

  1. _Murder is punished with a death penalty._
  2. _Disobedience to the Queen, and thus the endangering of order and peace, is strictly punishable. And_
  3. _The Queen is not allowed to fulfil a sentence. She is the judge, not the executioner._



Not the executioner, eh? This made Cassandra's change only more cynical. As if she had thoroughly learned her lesson and perverted everything she had previously believed in. My lips twisted to an icy smile.

"So much for your laws and my arbitrariness." I put the book down in front of Lea and leaned back. His face twitched incredulously.

"I didn’t expect that." He sounded shocked, which only made me smile wider. If he was the best weapon against the new Queen, the Unmenschen didn’t stand a chance.

"Welcome to my world."

There was a knock at the door and I sat up. "Come in." It took me a moment to realise what I had said – and no time to punch myself for saying something idiotic.

Amalia opened the door and stepped in. Her black curls fell down to her waist, her silver skin glimmering in the light of the lamp. “I wanted to see if the jester has killed you yet.” Her voice was as blank as her expression.

"If you really had feared I could..."

"I'm fine," I interrupted Lea coldly. She needed me, but the second she didn’t anymore, she was going to destroy me. Not just kill me, but extinguish me. That I was sure of.

"You should eat something. It's already evening."

I glanced towards the window. It was already too dark to see the forest. The days were getting longer again bit by bit, as they tended to do in April.

"What are you doing here?" Amalia took another step inside the room before stopping again. Her stance was casual, as if to assure us that she wasn’t about to attack.

"We searched for laws but found only three." I got up and walked slowly toward her. I didn’t try to stare into her sinister eyes, which tried to drown me in endless darkness.

"What do they say?"

"The Queen may condemn all to death, but not execute judgment."

"New territory for you then." If I hadn’t known better, I could have sworn I saw her lips twitch.

A cold smile lay on my lips and I smiled at her expressionless face. "The condemnation? Not really. To not act? I'm sure one can make exceptions."

"I really thought the Queen had been judging based on laws." Lea seemed to be really disappointed.

"These are laws: Do what you want, but let others do the dirty work. Sounds like they were really _holy_ Queens. "

Lea gave me an icy look that should have been impressive from volcanic eyes, but I just laughed. I wasn’t the only one lied to. My _friends_ were here to carry out a sacred mission, but there was nothing good, nothing memorable. We had all been screwed over.

Together, we entered the dining room where the others were already waiting.

Victor threw a questioning glance at my companions, but he banished it from his face as soon as he caught my gaze and replaced it with an annoyed expression.

"How are you, my Queen?"

"I’m good, Takumi. But no more _my Queen_. I don’t care about the title, as did my predecessors as it appears. "

"It's your title." He sat more upright, if that was at all possible, without him breaking his backbone. His eyes beamed at me, he wouldn’t let himself be stopped by what I wanted. I would respect him for that until I didn’t anymore.

"Yes, but I'm Cass. The Queen is Kate. "

"I didn’t think of any other name in such short notice and you were close to betraying your name to her," Victor growled angrily and stared at me.

"And wasn’t that clever? I'm sure this will never come out and then-"

"Not if you give up Cass and become Kate."

"Yes, or I ignore Kate and stay Cass."

"Cass..." Lea patted my arm patronisingly and pushed me into my chair. "Sit down and eat."

His touch was warm and soft and before I knew it I followed his instructions, which was much worse. I didn’t even withdraw from his touch. Or decapitate him for his insufferable manner of speaking to me.

"Since when can the royal jester make regulations to the Queen?" Richard glanced furiously at Leander. His orange hair seemed to move on its own accord as if it were fire.

"Castle, dinner would be great. Something delicious." I looked up at the ceiling and when I lowered my gaze, there were plates on the table with pizza’s and a lasagne. "Thank you Castle." _Friends_ who hated me and a Stalker-Castle, which was better at navigating in my head than I was. I was looking forward to the far future where I would hopefully have a quiet or even a little boring life. I wouldn’t get one here, that much was certain.

"It would be unwise to overstrain your magic."

"I'm fine, Takumi."

"A few days ago, you almost lost your precious life. But the Queen must survive." His voice was even while also being icy cold. Takumi was as much on a mission as Amalia and wouldn’t let me kill myself. Accidently or intentionally. Another plot I needed to unravel before it could kill me.

"Yes, thank you for reminding me. I had almost forgotten." I grabbed a piece of pizza topped with mozzarella, peach and cabanossi.

"What is that?" Lucian looked at the pizza with horror. He had bent forward as if to distract my attention from Takumi. Takumi’s eyes were still fixed on me. The golden band in them moving in short and fast movements.

"My favourite pizza," I said, unmoved, taking a big bite. The day had been bad, my back was starting to hurt again but I had pizza. Everything else wasn’t worth my attention right now.

"This is edible?" He stared at me, shocked and with clear disgust plastered over his beautiful face. He pursed his lips and shook his head as if he couldn’t believe anyone could ever eat something like that.

"If you don’t dare to try, you don’t have to, _Light_." I pushed the plate closer to him and bit into my piece again, not without a challenging smile. Lucian looked at me and then at the pizza. It seemed as if I had caught his attention. Carefully, as if the pizza could bite back, he took a piece and sniffed at it. His race was probably the origin for the legends of revenge angels and warriors with flaming swords, but he was actually a little blond boy in diapers. He still gave me a questioning look – which was probably due to my overly enthusiastic smile – and then hesitantly took a bite.

"And?" I asked challenging as I drank some water. "Did you survive the pizza?"

"It’s... going to take time getting used to it." He swallowed down the first bite and looked at the pizza critically. "It’s so sweet."

I took a second piece. "It’s probably the cabanossi."

"I guess so." Lea seemed to like the pizza, as he was chasing down two pieces at once.

"What are we doing now?" Richard looked at me questioningly before his eyes wandered to the others, as if he had come to the conclusion that I – in fact – knew nothing of.

"Well, there are no laws, so Kate didn’t break any." Another nasty smile crawled on my lips. I didn’t know I could be so happy.

Victor looked at me coldly. "Maybe, but you have been weak. Your enemies will understand it as an invitation to attack."

"And are those the same ones who have already tried to kill me or others?" I replied emotionlessly.

"That doesn’t matter, does it?" Lucian leaned forward and took a piece of pizza with tuna. Coward. "The war can break out at any moment. The battles are getting worse every day. What we need is a strong Queen who provides order."

"How is she going to do that?" Anakleto's hand clung more tightly to the edge of the table. "Should she go out and kill everything and everyone? The Queen must be respected, not feared!"

"She can secure the respect of her subjects after she has provided the peace."

"Kneeling in blood as a Dragonslayer? This will certainly be a good thing,” Anakleto snapped at Takumi, who didn’t look bothered in the slightest.

“You can’t…”

"Hey!"

Anakleto and Lucian were reluctant to get off each other and look at me, but they managed.

"What war?" It was the same question I had asked Leander, but they didn’t need to know that.

"What war?" Amalia's voice lowered the temperature in the dining room by at least three degrees. I would never admit it, but when her gaze fell upon me, I would have preferred to hide under the table. Once again, I was struck with the realisation of how much she resembled the legends about demons who had been sent to the human world to torture and destroy. But who would believe that Lucian’s race – who were the role models for angels –would even stand a chance? "Do _not_ say you didn’t hear about the fighting."

"There were many fights in the last eighteen months, but war?"

"They are threatening with it." Victor played absently with his knife and whether I wanted to admit it or not, he was good. He threw the blade and caught it skilfully after one rotation before it could embed itself in the smooth surface of the table. "Just two years ago, a group called the King's Front was founded." His eyes wandered from the knife to me. "Their leader claims that there are no Queens left and that someone new must fill the Queen’s place. He is very convincing and collects followers very successfully."

"After Cassandra disappeared, there were battles for territories, but the territories rarely shifted, and most were satisfied with theirs. The King's Front has changed all that. They take hold of other areas and are not interested in the Paien there. You join them, or you accept their ruling." Anakleto's hands lay clenched on the table. He was trembling with rage.

"If they aren’t stopped..."

"Why aren’t they stopped?" I interrupted Lucian. The atmosphere was tense. At least half of them seemed to hate the King’s Front personally. This complicated things.

"As long as the families aren’t concerned themselves, they don’t want to act. No one trusts the others, and some believe that Benedict, the leader of the King's Front, could fill the throne."

Lea shook his head as if he thoroughly disliked so much stupidity but kept quiet.  

"That's why we need the Queen. She has to end the battles and prevent a war." Anakleto's blue eyes now stared at me hopefully.

“Is that all? Perhaps I can still the hunger in the world while I’m at it?” I leaned back carefully, ignoring my sore back. "Why do you think even one Unmensch would listen to me? If Benedict and his King’s Front are so great, he can have the throne with my best wishes." I had seen the twitching of the others, but Lea ignored it.

"They are not." Lea looked dead on serious at me, even if he tried to force a smile at his lips. "Paien need a Queen."

"A Queen chosen and empowered by deep magic." Victor agreed gravely. "We don’t need you, Dragonslayer. We need a Queen. You have the runes and therefore symbols of her power, so you are the best we have."

"You have a real silver tongue." My gaze wandered to my arms, covered by an unfamiliar leatherjacket. I missed _my_ leatherjacket. "Let me make it very clear one more time, I..."

The bell stopped me. Maybe it was just my imagination, but I could have sworn the sound was louder than last time, as if the Castle wanted to interrupt us.

"I'm going." Richard jumped up and seemed glad to be able to escape the dining room.

I couldn’t blame him. The mood had shifted, the subconscious uncertainty had changed into open rejection. Not that I would have expected anything else, but I could imagine something better than to kill with a full stomach.

Lea caught my eye and I saw the disapproval in his eyes. Well, he had obviously misjudged my intentions.

"It's a message!" Richard came running into the hall and threw it on the table. "The Queen is asked for help!"

I scanned the letter and frowned. The plea for help and information to travel via Circle were written in neat and even letters.

"We have to go! The people are under attack!" Richard was still out of breath, but he stood in front of me and stared at me encouragingly.

"It’s a trap."

I looked up. Victor and Takumi had come to the same conclusion. Of course it was a trap.

"If we go now, we are at a disadvantage. They’ll be able to surprise us in the dark."

"But if it’s not a trap! They need help!" Richard turned to me again and looked at me imploringly. "You spared the child, you must help them!"

If it wasn’t a trap, then... I still couldn’t care less. I met Amalia’s version of eyes and hesitated.

"We should find out who wants to kill me so urgently." A really great excuse, even for myself. Maybe the bloody Rose was right, and I was just a miserable failure. To have compassion for Unmenschen was... probably human. That was even worse! What the hell was happening to me?

"Then we'll go without you." Victor stood up and pulled the dagger he had played with previously, as if to threaten me with it. As if I would be threatened by him under any circumstances.

"Do I really have to kill you this time so I can come with?" I smiled. "I might like that."

"You're hurt and the target. You stay here."

"What did you say this morning again? Without my runes you have no power? I'll come with, no matter what you think. I can fight my battles on my own." Steel was edging in my voice, something far to personal and far too dangerous to discuss right now with them.

Lea's hand lay gently on my shoulder. His warmth seeped into me, and I let it go.

"Pack your stuff. Takumi?"

"I will prepare the Circle. But my Queen?" He waited until I turned around and faced him. "If you let yourself be hurt again, you will have to live with the consequences."

"Noted."

I ran back toward my bedroom, my heart pounding far too wildly. Lea was on my heels. It would probably take an exorcist to get rid of him. Or a crowbar.

Our steps were echoing from the stone walls and increasing that rush mixed of adrenaline and iron-like determination. This I could control. This I knew. Getting ready to fight Unmenschen. The potential for death and violence, blood and pain. As much as I wanted to escape all of it, the familiarity was soothing.

"You have to stop fighting them." Lea’s voice was calm, but I heard the spike of annoyance. I noted his even breathing, the composed posture. He was trying very hard not to show whatever he was hiding.

"You are one of them, _Lea_ , because even if you seem to believe otherwise, we are _not_ partners. And I enjoy it."

"Stop." He managed to step in front of me and blocked my way. The only thing that saved him from a punch in his throat was the control deeply ingrained in my system. My muscles ached as if I tried to fight against chains holding me back. I gritted my teeth and glared at him. His eyes blazed red, like sparks flying in those fiery depths. The air around him heated up. Invisible flames seemed to lick over my skin. My lips dried in the seconds I stared at him losing his control. My lungs stung and ached for cool air, but I wasn’t stupid enough to inhale the heat.

Leander took a step back and exhaled harshly. The air cooled and I dared to breathe again. I refused to feel my face and lips for blisters. I had found his buttons – as planned – and now I knew how to push them. Next time I probably shouldn’t be in such close proximity to him though.

"You're acting like a child, but if you want to get out of here alive, you should pull yourself together. I know you want to flee but think for a second. Perhaps this is your destiny. Perhaps this, all this, is exactly what you're looking for."

"If I'm in need of a fortune cookie saying, I'll ask for it." I pushed roughly past him, ignoring the far too hot touch. Back in my bedroom I armed myself until I carried nearly my own weight in metal. Leander hadn’t followed me in my room. One look in the mirror calmed my suspicions. My lips were dry, but he hadn’t actually burnt me. I drank a little water and applied some cream to my lips before joining him in the hall.

Leander didn’t say anything – a welcomed first for him – and followed me back to the entrance hall where Takumi had already drawn the Circle.

"Watch out for the Queen, even if you want to tear her to pieces yourself." Amalia gave me an icy look. "We still need her."

I caught Victor's side gaze before Takumi catapulted us into darkness. It took me a moment to get used to the dimness and fight the dizziness aside. Lucian's skin shone brightly, Lea and Richard shimmered reddishly, and I saw the brilliant pupils of Victor shining in the darkness like little suns.

We glowed like a fucking Christmas tree.

"Trap." I hissed angrily.

"Of course, it is," Victor muttered almost noiselessly.

"How long do you need for the Circle, Takumi?" My eyes flinched to the left. Had there been movement?

"At least three min-"

"Duck!" I shouted, jumping to the right. Not a second later a fireball exploded on the ground we had just stood on. Three more followed and all of us sprang farther apart.

"This is your fault," Amalia growled at me. I glanced at her and needed a moment to get my breathing back on track. I knew how she looked in the light, but now the only thing visible were her silvery face and her bloody red lips. Where her eyes would have to be was endless darkness, which should probably only exist in Hell itself. It was damn creepy and with absolute certainty the origin of all demon legends.

"The others?" I forced my gaze from her. My hand found cold metal and I stroked it. It felt like a container and explained the wide shadows that I had seen. A container cemetery, the absolutely perfect place for a trap and I – being the genius that I am – jumped right in the middle of it.

Another fireball exploded, not four meters from us, and we jumped deeper into the shadows. Heat washed over me and I pressed my lips together.

"Not here." As the shimmering skin grew less, I suspected she turned away and followed her gaze. The fire drew flickering shadows on the walls of the containers. They betrayed nothing but the faded green colour of the one we were hiding behind.

"Takumi will draw the Circle, we'll give him some..."

Another fireball exploded right next to us and we could just barely back away to avoid the worst of it. Sprinting to the next container and breathing in scorching air, I tried to ignore the biting heat on my back and arms. As soon as I was safely hiding behind the rusty metal wall I tore my smouldering jacket of my body. Both the heat and the movements reignited the burning pain in my back.  

Someone wanted to seriously kill us. Even if they weren’t that good at it, they might get lucky and actually succeed.

"Injured?" I squeezed out as I scanned myself. My arms and face were hot and I felt feverish. Chances were good that I wouldn’t survive this fun experience. My fucking luck.

"No." Amalia had also torn her jacket off her body. "They are only looking for us." Her uncovered arms glittered like the surface of a silver moon in the night. Forget the Irrlichter, her race would be followed into Hell itself.

"I noticed." It also might be the reason why they hadn’t engulfed us in a ring of fire and suffocated us yet. As far as I could tell just by the screams and fireball explosions, they didn’t seem to try to be trying to kill the others. This was a trap for the Queen and they didn’t want to murder anyone else. That meant they weren’t in league with the acid-pukers, who couldn’t have cared less who they killed.

We backed away slowly, searching the darkness for movements. In theory, we should be relatively safe when we stuck together closely – if my assumptions were right that was.

"We should try to find the others, they..." Amalia stopped and I felt the damp heat on my skin before I could filter the shot out of the other noises. Few people think about how pleasantly warm blood is, at least human or human-like blood. Amalia's blood felt hot on my burnt arms, and I wondered for a moment how this heat could flow under the cold silver skin.

Amalia staggered a step forward and I caught her dead weight in my already aching arms. I had hardly heard the shot, the fireball explosions around us were more and more frequent. But they didn’t target us any longer. At least I hoped they didn’t.

"The Queen is dead!"

I suppressed the instinct to follow the distant cry and turned my head in the opposite direction. Just in time, I saw the flowing movement of a curved dagger to tear Amalia and me backwards. I could feel my own blood running coolly over my right arm, where I had placed it protectively over Amalia. I hit hard on the gravel and gasped.

Amalia hissed in agony and I felt her hot blood soaking my shirt. As gently as I could, I rolled her onto the ground and jumped up.

Our assailant was perhaps in his late twenties, a head taller than I was, with red-blond hair and an expression of rage in his red-shining pupils. The fiery aura around him flickered high, which showed his excitement, but it wasn’t nearly as hot as it could have been. He wanted to kill the Queen and he would try it on every opportunity, but he wasn’t a fighter. An experienced fighter would have already roasted us.

I didn’t allow him time to recognize this mistake and hurled two of my daggers in his direction while I was still standing protectively over Amalia. One hit him in the shoulder, while the other flew past his neck by mere millimetres. With the free left hand, I fished for a trifle, a nasty little something that was a fucking _joy_ to fire Paien. The dagger in my right hand was slippery from my own blood, but I didn’t give one fuck.

He was trembling, and I saw the pain in his face and his movements and smiled viciously. That little blood distracted him? Not even as a toddler would I have been distracted by that. If the Princess of Darkness survived this, it would drive her crazy that an amateur had shot her. If she didn’t, I would personally carve it on her gravestone.

I doubted that his mind was advising him, but his instincts were sensible enough. He flung a fireball at me and I fell flat on Amalia. I felt her spasm under me, her cry of pain pierced my eardrum and settled a heavy dark weight in my stomach. I had neither the time nor the leisure to care about it.

It was thanks to luck or absolute stupidity that we weren’t burned yet. He must have aimed the attack on my face, for there was no explanation for the fact that he had missed us at this short distance.

I ignored the missing oxygen in the scorching fume that should be air and the soot and threw myself forward. An experienced fighter of his species could use his aura as a heat shield. On the other hand an experienced assassin wouldn’t have come so close.

He saw my movement and the dagger in my bloody right hand and tried to dodge to the left. I pressed the little surprise in my left hand into his side and the scream that came from his lips sounded like music in my ears. I tore the stunning arrow back and dropped it carelessly to the ground. The cool brew inside it was already pulsing through his veins. It didn’t last long, but I didn’t need much time either.

He struck around and almost caught me with the knob of the dagger on the temple by accident, but I had expected this reaction. With a deliberate kick, I pushed him to the ground and stepped over him, one foot on his chest. In a flowing motion, I pulled a short sword from my back and held it to his throat. Both had a calming effect on the whimpering bundle before me, even as he continued to struggle in pain. I put more weight on the leg on his chest and he groaned.

"Hold still." I leaned forward and blood dripped from my arm onto his face as I hit the knob of my dagger against his temple. It wasn’t necessarily with surgical precision, but very effective. A little more momentum and I would have split his skull. I left him where he was. He wouldn’t go anywhere in the near future.

Amalia lay where I had left her, shot wound in the upper belly, in a puddle of her own blood. I knelt beside her, ignoring the warm wetness on my knees. She was panting, but not hyperventilating. I heard no gurgling, so her lung must have been intact. Before I could speak to her, running steps echoed from the containers behind me. The fireball explosions and screams hadn’t yet stopped, but there were a lot more screaming than explosions now. I was positive the fight couldn’t last much longer.

Short sword and dagger ready for battle, I once again stepped over Amalia, who murmured something unintelligible. I didn’t dare to look at her as she clearly tried to tell me something. My arms ached and my back burned, but that wouldn’t stop me. It wouldn’t even slow me down.

The steps grew louder, and two figures, also weapons in hands, sprinted around the corner of the container to my right. I would have killed them instantly if Lucian's light hadn’t given him and Takumi away.

"Takumi." I lowered my weapons by a fraction and took a step back to make room for him and Lucian.

Takumi, who seemed uninjured, immediately knelt next to Amalia, while Lucian, also uninjured, focused on me. "Cass..." He held out his hand to check me for wounds, but I stopped him.

"It's her blood." He glanced at the open slash on my arm but followed Takumi's call as I kept one eye on the surroundings while also watching Takumi’s every movement. From afar, I heard fearful screams. Not my companions, then.

"Bend forward." Takumi's hand pulled Lucian forward to light up Amalia's wound. His hands wandered over her body and his face darkened further and further, the golden ribbon in his pupils writhing in jagged movements around themselves. "We have to take her back to the Castle." He raised his eyes and met mine. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm good. Take her back, I'll get the others."

Takumi didn’t waste a second longer. Together Lucian and he lifted Amalia’s limb form from the ground. Blood dripped from her and splashed in the pool on the ground.

I took a deep breath. I couldn’t let them go to the Circle on their own. They had to carry Amalia and couldn’t defend themselves.  

"Where to?"

"To the right."

I put the dagger away, holding the short sword in my left hand while I hurried forward. Takumi and Lucian followed me too slowly. I glanced over my shoulder again and again; their arms were already smeared with blood.

"To the left." I followed Takumi's instructions and ignored his strained voice. The Circle was drawn in the shelter of a container. A dead attacker lay next to a still burning fire.

In the flickering light, I threw a last glance at Amalia. She better survive, or I would be really angry.

Lucian raised the limp body, Takumi spoke the incantation, and in the next moment I was alone.


	7. A Chance

My eyes fell on the body of the fire creature. Well, I wasn’t all alone.

I breathed once, pushing the short sword back into the sheath between my shoulders. Grumbling, I dragged the dead body a little further and dropped it into the still burning flames. Fire Paien had the interesting characteristic in that they were able to withstand almost any heat while living. When dead they could be burned more easily than straw.

As soon as the body touched the fire a blazing sting flame shot skywards and I jumped back.

Lightened by the disintegrating corpse, I glanced at my injured arm. The wound was unclean and irritated, but as I could move my hand it was probably just a flesh wound. Nothing to worry about. I flexed my back muscles and scanned for anything aside from the torment. Something that could possible hinder me in a fight. Nope, everything good.

I closed my eyes for just a second and listened intendedly. The dry crackling of the flames was the only disturbance in the unnatural silence.  

I couldn’t know for sure that _my friends_ had won and or survived, but either way it wouldn’t do one damn good thing to keep standing here. I turned around and ran the way back I had come. It was easier to lure whoever was still alive out than to look for them. Was it also reckless and potentially deadly? Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine? Even while running I focused on any noise and any movement around me, but I saw and heard nothing aside from my low breathing and the echoes from my steps.  

My victim was still where I had left him behind, but he was no longer alone. 

Lea awaited me, ready to strike with a dagger in one hand and the other ready to hurl a wave of lava at me. His face morphed from determination to shock. "Cass, shit, what..."

"It’s Amalia's blood. Most of it at least. You?" I walked to stand next to him and ignored his piercing gaze. I placed the injured arm protectively against my body. Ever so slowly pain and blood loss became perceptible.

He raised an eyebrow. "Fire can’t harm me. Where is Amalia?" He scanned my posture for any sign of weakness, but besides the obvious – my bloody arm – he didn’t seem to recognize any.

"Takumi and Lucian took her back to the Castle."

He nodded and glanced at my arm. "Why didn’t you kill him?" He nodded to the bleeding bundle at his feet.

"It wasn’t necessary." I turned away. "Where are the others?"

"They were looking for any more attackers last time I saw them."

"Get them."

He was staring at me with his volcanic eyes, an uncertain expression in them. "What do we do with the bodies?"

I met his rigid face. "Burn them."  

He narrowed his eyes, but said nothing as he took off. I followed his movements until he disappeared behind a container. I knew that without the appropriate ritual, the burning of a fire Paien was an offense, but neither did I know the appropriate ritual nor would they deserve such a ritual in the eyes of the Queen. We had to clean this battlefield before humans appeared here, which couldn’t be so long after all the noise.

Approaching steps had me on high alert again. I raised the short sword and stepped aside from the unmoving Paien. In the best case, it wasn’t someone who would use the distraction of the situation to kill me. 

Richard sprinted around the corner of a container and as soon as he recognised me, he ran towards me. "My Queen!" He wasn’t as powerful as Lea, but it seemed that he too could defend himself against his own element.

"Oh, God, what..." He stared in horror at the blood caking my clothes and skin. Fresh red still welled from the gush on my arm and dribbled down my fingertips.

"I'm fine." I moved the sword from my right to my left hand and crouched down on the ground. Without turning my back to Richard, I checked for his vital signs. He was healthy enough. I pulled the belt from the unconscious fire’s pants with some difficulty and tied his hands with trained efficiency.

"My Queen, what..."

"Cass." I straightened up. "We'll take him with us."

Thundering steps of at least three people approached at high speed. I assumed that it would be Lea and the others, but I grabbed the sword harder and closed my free hand around the handle of a throwing knife.

"Cass!" Lea's voice had changed, he sounded like his usual cheerful self yet again. Nothing reminded of his seriousness. He was followed by Anakleto, whose jacket looked soaked and was still dripping, and Victor, who hadn’t gotten a scratch.

"Seems like you had needed a shower too." Victor glanced at the blood. "How badly are you hurt?"

"I'm fine."

"Amalia?" Anakleto gave my injured arm a doubtful look, but didn’t contradict me.

"Takumi’s taking care of her." Why did they suddenly care about her? So far, they had rarely looked at Amalia without fear or rejection. Not that _I cared_. I did not, it only surprised me.  

"We've killed four of them." Victor stepped next to me, casting a questioning look at the wounded man at his feet. "The corpses are burned. Why is he still alive?"

"I didn’t have to kill him to stop him."

"Looks like it worked out great."

My hand was already on one of the daggers when Lea stopped me. "This is not the place nor the time. But why did you keep him alive, Holy Queen?" His eyes glowed at me, but behind his childish voice, a deep suspicion hid itself.

"I want to know why they attacked me."

"Because they wanted to kill the Queen."

"Victor, I swear, if you don’t shut the fuck up immediately..." I hissed, but Anakleto interrupted me.

"What do you mean?"

"Mine wasn’t a fighter, he knew a few basics, but nothing that would keep him alive. Why was he here to kill me? There are at least a hundred better qualified assassins." I looked at each of them, all of them had a better chance of killing me.

"Is that really important?" Victor stared at me angrily.

I straightened a little and pointed to my arm and the blood that covered most of my front. "No clue. But I would like to survive this. What about you?"

Lea's hand closed around my uninjured arm. "Cass...”

I tore myself free, crouched on the ground and began to draw the Circle. I had learned this magic against Melrose's will, and without her finding out about it. My hands drew the patterns without me thinking about it. This magic, and every other spell I had secretly learned, had flown toward me as if they had only been waiting to be learned by me. Most of it had been very useful, such as the veiling charms that I had used more than once against my family.

I stood up and made a quick step to the side to regain my balance. Sudden dizziness had taken my vision and balance long enough for me to waver slightly.

"Cass..." Lea caught me before I could find my balance again. "Pull yourself together." His voice in my ear was cold and demanding.

"Thanks for the tip," I hissed back annoyed. As if I would ever show them any kind of weakness if I could do a damn thing about it.

"Everything okay?" Anakleto looked at me searchingly.

"Sure." I straightened up and tried to shake Lea's hand off my shoulder. I failed miserably. "The Circle stands. Let me go, Lea. "

"You look like you're going to break down at any moment, o’ holy Queen of ours." His grip tightened around my arm. He was probably right and I would collapse after transporting us back, but that was no reason to let him win.

"Take your hand away, or I'll break it." I whirled around and pushed my elbow into his stomach. Lea just managed to avoid the most of it by turning away and letting go of me. I took a step toward the attacker, but Anakleto stepped in my way.

"We'll take him." His eyes were dark, looking seriously at me. That was seriousness, right? It couldn’t possibly be worry, could it?

"Good." I wasn’t even sure how far I could have dragged him without making a fool out of myself. Pain and blood loss began to take their toll, but I wouldn’t tell them, or acknowledge it myself. It wasn’t that big a deal. The real problem was the fading adrenaline. 

 Together with Victor, who looked incredibly annoyed, Anakleto carried the limp body into the Circle.

I took a deep breath and muttered the incantation, watching the Circles in my head. I felt the two hands of Lea that were placed on my sides. The next moment we were in the Castle and the only thing that kept me upright were those hands. If I hadn’t been so busy not spreading my stomach contents over the floor, I would probably have broken both of his hands.

"Queen!" Richard screamed panicked, but Lea interrupted his shout unimpressed.

"Put the wannabe assassin in a cell, I'll take care of...”

"I'm fine." I straightened up and tried to ignore the dizziness. My vision was blurred, with all sounds and noises muffled, and I felt pleasantly not at all earthbound. Wasn’t it enough that they had seen me weak once? Did I have to humiliate myself even further?

"Sure you are." Lea put my left arm around his neck and wrapped his right around my waist. All without even acknowledging my attempts to free myself from him.

"Where are the cells, I..."

"We'll take care of him." Victor gave me a look somewhere between disgust and compassion before turning to Lea. "Can you handle her alone?"

"Absolutely." Lea’s cheerful tone was contradicted by the firm grip he held me with, but no one but me knew that.

Before I could muster enough strength to kill him, Lea dragged me towards my room. I tried to walk on my own accord – I failed. Why the hell did they care about me?

"How do you know where the cells are?" It was difficult to formulate the words, and even more difficult to put one foot in front of the other.

"We explored the Castle when you recovered from the acid."

I rolled my eyes. "I’m a Queen for less than a week and was almost killed twice. This has to be a new record."

Lea gave me a look that I didn’t want to interpret at all. Even worse was the concern flickering over his features. True, I could only see one half of his face, but it was enough.

Upon the arrival in my bedroom, he tried to pull me towards the bed.

"No chance, I'll take a shower."

"Cass, you can hardly stand. What the hell do you...”

"Do you really believe that?" I pulled away and stared at him. "See you in a bit." More walking than tottering, I dragged myself into the bathroom. Exhaustion prevented me from doing anything but undressing and stumbling inside the shower.

After I had washed away the blood and cleaned the wound as best as I could, I pulled on sweatpants and the grey top that had appeared on one of the stools and made my way back into the bedroom on disobedient legs. I left all the weapons back in the bathroom except one dagger, which I pushed in the back of the trouser waistband.

Lea had spread a pharmacy on my bed and gave me a relieved look as I staggered to him.

"I was worried you had drowned." He cleared a corner of the bed where I sat down. "I saw Takumi. He operated on Amalia and I mean actually operating with scalpel and everything."

I raised an eyebrow. Healing magic and a classical medical education went only in the rarest cases hand-in-hand. "How is she?"

"He's going to fix her."

The gentle voice worried me, even though I couldn’t say what worried me so much about it.

With practiced hands, he stroked ointment on the irritated skin and coated the wound with an antiseptic paste that burned like hell itself.

I cursed and tried to turn away.

"Hold still." Lea pulled my arm back and began to bandage it generously. "Mummy style." He smiled cheerful, although I saw the worry lurking in his eyes and the way he forced his body to appear relaxed.

"What are you doing?"

"Takumi said he'll tend to your injury tomorrow."

"I'm fine."

Lea's volcanic eyes met mine. "No, you're not fine." There was again the seriousness which he showed no one else. If he kept doing this I would get whiplash just by watching him. "Maybe Dragonslayer’s aren’t allowed to show any weakness, but we want to help you. Most of us at least."

"Why are you so sure about this?" I held his gaze. "Not that I could believe you."

"I can read people." He stood up and gathered all his medical stuff. "Try to sleep."

I felt like I had to make a smartass response, but sleeping sounded too good. I crawled a little higher in the bed, rolled myself under the blanket and closed my eyes. My arms didn’t burn so badly anymore and I was so tired that I was sure I would fall asleep right away. But I didn’t. Why didn’t I sleep? I turned on my back and stared into the darkness above me. I could try to ignore it until sleep deprivation got the better of me, but I wouldn’t fall asleep. Fucking conscious.

With heavy limbs, I rolled out of my bed and took a step towards the door when a light beam hit me from the right. The secret door swung open and light lit up the narrow passage. 

"Thank you, Castle." The smooth stone was cold under my fingertips as I touched the wall in a grateful gesture. I followed the lighted tunnel deeper inside the castle. I didn’t think once about why I trusted the building. The thought that this all could be a trap to kill me didn’t even cross my mind once. 

At the crossway, I followed the lights into the right passage. I remembered the Nymph mentioning that it was the way to the quarters of the entourage. A cold shiver went down my spine.

The lights guided me into a round stone chamber. Eleven doors spread over the whole wall, each of the doors was made of brown, simple wood. Each had a different stone flower as a doorknob. Architectural, this was bullshit, but what did a sentient magical Castle care for architectural or physical reality?

"Are these doors to the rooms?" I stepped in the middle of the room. The single lightbulb above me wasn’t strong enough to diminish the shadows.

After a moment's hesitation, I went to the door on my far left. Apart from the different flowers, I saw no way to distinguish the doors. I put my hand on the knob of a bell-flower and stopped. A window opened at eye level, and I stared into a dark room. All furniture was covered with dust. No one had lived here for a long time. I let go of the knob and stared dumbly at the brown texture of the wood.

"Good trick," I murmured and went to the next door. I put my hand on the primrose and another window opened. Inside, Richard had just pulled off his bloody shirt and I let go of the knob as if it had burned me. I was a lot of bad things, but certainly not a stalker.

"What is the door to Amalia?" Her name left a bitter taste on my tongue. What the hell? Fear for an Unmensch?

A window opened at the third door from the right, I crossed the room with quick steps and glanced into the room.

Takumi and Lucian stood with their backs to the door and blocked my view, their shoulders were cramped, but that could also come from exhaustion.

With quiet movements Takumi pulled the blanket over the motionless body and I held my breath.

"That should be enough for now." Takumi straightened up and I caught a glimpse of Amalia. She lived. Her silvery skin looked grey, the otherwise bloody red lips, pale, and the lipstick remnants smeared. What I could see of her upper body was firmly bandaged, as were her arms. I felt nothing. What should I have felt? She had come along voluntarily. She wanted to serve the Queen. I suppressed a scream and turned away. She was fine. No reason for guilt. Or fear. She was an Unmensch and nothing more.

I watched as Lucian and Takumi collected the surgical equipment, bloody bandages and swabs. I would never tell him this to his face, but it seemed as if Takumi was worth gold. Especially as he seemed to actually knew what he was doing, magical and non-magical wise.

I watched them turn off the lights besides a small lamp in the far corner of Amalia’s room. Takumi checked her pulse one more time before he followed Lucian out of the room.

I waited a couple more minutes before I silently stepped inside her room and walked to her bed. Pillows supported her limp body, and I could hear her regular breathing and saw her chest rise and fall. She lived.

Silently, I walked around the bed, stripped off my boots, and lay down beside Amalia. I lay so close that I could tend to her in one movement, but it would take that movement to reach her. Something she wasn’t able to do in her condition. That wasn’t fearful thinking, it was cautious, which was good. Being cautious was very good. It wasn’t embarrassing in the slightest.

Ignoring my aching arms and burning back, I pulled a pillow closer and rested my head on it. My face was to Amalia, and I watched her for a moment longer before I pulled the blanket over me. Why? Why did I lie next to her? Why did it interest me, what happened to her? Why was I so relieved that she lived?  

At some point, I had to have fallen asleep, for I awoke from Amalia's altered breathing. My eyes scurried once through the room. Nothing had changed, no one had entered. Amalia's face was painfully distorted and she slowly opened her eyes. Her gaze, if one could call this hell out of black nothing a gaze, was confused. A moment later she seemed to notice my presence because her body stiffened and her eyes wandered to me. Even without the movement of her head, I would have known that her eyes were now on me. I could feel them resting on me and the coldness that came from her intensified stare.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice was hoarse and pain was laced in every syllable.

I ignored her question, getting out of bed and picking up the water glass that stood next to her on the nightstand.

"Drink something." Carefully and foreseeably, I let my hand slide under her shoulders and lifted her slightly so she could drink better. Amalia hesitated for a moment before taking small sips of the clear water. I gently put her back. She was not squeamish, but I knew how painful a shot wound could be.

"Thank you." She tried to conceal her confusion, but she succeeded as little as restraining her pain.

"Do you want to go to the bathroom?"

She stared at me motionless. "Yes."

"Come on." I threw her blanket off, carefully removing the pillows, before putting my left arm under her back. Reaching with the other under her knees, I sat her upright with a practiced movement. I ignored her groaning as well as the screaming of my arms and back.

Amalia had closed her eyes and tried to calm her breathing while I was standing next to her. She had done the same for me. That's why I was here. There was no other reason.

When she had calmed down, I supported her on the way to the bathroom. She moved slowly and carefully. It seemed Takuma's painkillers no longer worked.

I carefully lifted her into bed, resting her body with pillows to get her in a painless position, even though I knew, that there was really no way she could be comfortable. As if it was self-evident, I covered her with her blanket and lay down beside her again.

"Why are you here?"

Good question. An excellent one even. I just hadn’t a fucking answer for her.

"You did the same for me."

"But why are you _here_?" Her voice was weak and the pain drowned everything else. I opened my eyes and watched her closely. Her eyes had lost none of their strength and they couldn’t show any pain, but they seemed to suck the colour out of her face as if she were devoured by her own darkness.

"You were hurt because they thought you were the Queen." I stopped. What was I going to say? The seconds elapsed, and the stillness continued to spread, without words.

"Why did you not escape?" Amalia could barely hold her eyes open, I saw it, but she kept forcing them to remain open.

I didn’t answer her, because I had no fucking clue.

"You will be the Queen." Her eyes closed. "Our Queen...”

I froze. No, it was impossible. Absolute nonsense. No, just no. I could only hope she forgot everything, or I had to strangle her myself.

Steps approached our door and I was already sitting upright with a dagger in my hand before I was conscious of the action. I shook my head in a short movement. When did I fall asleep again?

A polite knocking sounded at the same moment the door was opened. Takumi was dressed as usual, dark jeans and a light shirt. Today's tone was darker than his skin and thus dark caramel. With one hand he balanced a tray with bandages, ointments, and some other utensils. His smooth movements stopped dead as his gaze fell upon me.

"My Queen..."

I raised an eyebrow and watched as his gaze swept over me, the bed, and Amalia. Recognition reflected in the dark eyes and the golden ribbons twisted in even movements around themselves. He was satisfied with what he saw. How nice for him.

He closed the door behind himself and set the tray on the table diagonally across from the bed.

"Sit up, I should look at your wounds."

I glanced at the still sleeping Amalia, slipping the dagger back into the waistband of my sweatpants before rolling out of the bed with stiff limbs.

Takumi pointed to the pulled-out chair opposite him and I sat down.

"Stop with the _my Queen_ stuff." I held my left arm to him.

With slow, practiced movements he unwound the bandages. "If you behave like a Queen, I'll treat you like one." His voice was calm, as if he were talking about a fact that I should have understood a long time ago.

"Since when is it royal to sneak into the room of an injured person and watch them sleep at night? I always thought that was creepy and disgusting." I gave him a one-sided smirk and looked at him challengingly.

Takumi met my gaze, then pulled my right arm up and unwound the bandages. With gentle touches, he examined the wound and burned skin. "You've come to see if she's okay and have stayed to make sure it stays that way. Though you consider her an Unmensch and an enemy."  

I stared at him silently as he rubbed ointment on my skin and began to bandage my arms again. Over the wound he put a compress with an antiseptic ointment that still burned like hell, but my concentration lay on the mage in front of me.

"We are not your enemies." He met my gaze. The golden ribbons now moved smoothly in his pupils, in wavy circular motions. "We can make change happen when we work together." He fastened the second bandage and leaned back in his chair. His gaze was neither urgent nor penetrating, but I could have sworn he was reading me.

"What about her?" I stared past him to the bed. I would never admit that his words could disturb me that deeply. They couldn’t. I was a Dragonslayer, and the Unmenschen were frightened of us.

Takumi's gaze still lay on me, and he didn’t seem to be impressed by my harsh tone, nor by my radiance of anger.

"She will survive it." He slowly folded his hands and placed them gently on his lap. "She is tough and has very impressive healing powers. A few days in bed and she should be as good as new."

My eyes flickered over to him. In other words, she had only just barely survived, thanks to Takumi's abilities. His expressionless face said it all; the bullet had to have caused considerable damage.

"Good." I stood up and ignored the screaming of my muscles. "I’m going to come back later."

Deliberately ignoring the satisfied smile on Takumi's lips, I left Amalia's room through the front door. I closed it silently behind me and breathed out. Inadequate or not, the would-be assassin had almost killed Amalia, and even if it was her own stupid decision, they had mistaken her for me. Who would take offense? She looked much more impressive than I did, and I would regard her as a Queen of the Unmenschen if this doubtful honour weren’t mine.

"I knew it."

My head twitched to the side and I saw Lea appear at the end of the aisle. His brown curls were still moist from the shower and where water dropped to his skin, steam emerged. He was wearing some light-coloured jeans and a dark shirt with a beheaded comic figure on it. His volcanic eyes looked at me with a similar sense of satisfaction as Takumi had. When did this happen?

"You were with the Princess of Darkness all night, weren’t you? You softie." He beamed his childish smile at me, but I just stared into those eyes that still haunted me in my nightmares. He moved like a teenager, and everything about him seemed to scream: _I'm just a clown, no one can take me seriously! I'm no danger!_ But I knew better. I stared into the eyes, which were as childish as his smile. He was an excellent liar, better than me. So much better, in fact, that I had to ask myself if I could read him at all.

"How is she?" He stood beside me, ignoring my piercing gaze.

"She’ll survive it."

"That's good." For a moment, a more serious expression crept into his eyes, before he shook his curls like a dog and looked satisfied at my disgusted expression.

"Shall we visit your fan in the dungeon? Ana told me yesterday that they had to hold him down with two people, so that they could attend his wound."

My eyes twitched from the corridor Lea led me down to his face. "They bandaged him?"

"You really have no idea, do you?" He laughed, but it was no longer his children's laughter. This sounded sadder, even though I didn’t know why.

"Even if they wouldn’t admit it and some would," he looked at me piercingly, "You are the Queen, and thy commands are law, especially to those who have sworn allegiance to you."

"No one has sworn allegiance to me!" I shrieked before I could calm myself down. And no one would. I clenched my hands in fists.

"They will."

"They?" I stared at his childlike face, with its slight smile, trying to hide my anger at the fact that he could read me like an open book. I had always considered myself closed up and with an indestructible poker face, but Lea – the asshole – didn’t care at all.

"I'm not one of the companions. I'm just here to make sure you don’t fail." His eyes caught me mid step. "I won’t allow that." His tone was still cheerful, but something new had crept into it, something feral and final, as if his life depended on it.

"It almost sounds like I care about what you say and think." I ignored his burning eyes and tried to swallow. What the hell was up with the Unmenschen today?

"You don’t understand." His voice was now deadly. Light-footed, as I had never expected him to be, Lea whirled around and conjured a dagger into his hand. He tried to push me with his body weight against the wall behind me. I could have slapped myself because I didn’t see the attack coming, but instead of defending myself, I took the movement and threw myself with the collected swing from the turn to the right.

The hot hand, which held my forearm, did not let go, but dragged me in the movement as I reached for the dagger in my trouser waistband.

We collided with the ground and rolled over each other. I kicked forward and tried to pull myself out of his grip, but he was strong, stronger than my burnt skin could take. He pushed me to the stone tiles and his dagger into my side without actually hurting me. My dagger lay at his throat and if I had really wanted it, I could have freed myself from him, but this was not a life-threatening situation. Not yet.

His whole body radiated heat, and I knew it was just a taste, but my arms still burned because of the close proximity.

"I won’t allow the Queen to fail." He stared at me with a tranquil and unbreakable will. "There will be no war but a Queen who righteously rules. And that will be you and if it is the last thing you do." His voice was soft, almost loving.

"Nice to finally meet you." I stared back at him, showing the same unbreakable will. "In your place, I would have played the jester a bit longer. The others still believe the act."

With a flowing movement, he stood up and dragged me with him. "The others don’t interest me." He pushed the dagger back into his sleeve and looked at me with a satisfied expression. "You are opportunistic enough to understand and _compassionate_ enough to do the right thing."

"You'll take that back." The dagger in my hand was almost self-drilling itself into the wall a millimetre next to his left ear.

His gaze was serious, not because I could have killed him with the dagger, but because he had a goal that he would pursue mercilessly. He had been sent to prevent the Queen from succeeding. He was here because he was told to kill the Queen – me. He was here because he had worn this mask, which he showed to everyone where he was trained because he was better than anyone else. And here he stood before me and showed his hand because he trusted that I was empathetic and rebellious.

"I don’t want to live a lie anymore and you don’t either." He reached behind him, pulling the dagger out of the wall and handing it to me handle first. "We can make change happen."

"That's what Takumi said." I raised my eyes and stared into his. He was a much better liar than me, but... I didn’t think he was lying now. He had shown me who and what he was and I would never underestimate him again. He was a better fighter than Victor and even without his impressive abilities, Lea was much more dangerous. He had revealed himself to me to work with me, to build trust and prevent his plans from being jeopardized by the truth. He had devoted his life and his being to a single purpose, and I could only guess how many cursed years he had lived among his enemies and had been waiting to break free and flee for good. But could that be true? Could this be the truth? Could he even tell the truth at all?

"What do you want from me that you couldn’t have taken?" I asked, watching him closely. I waited for a sign that he was lying, waited for him to attack me, to give me even half a reason to kill him and flee. I heard the voice in the back of my head shouting, and I knew I'd barely have a chance to flee. First Lea, then Amalia and Takumi, I began to... no longer detest them. I listened to them, I let them unsettle me! Just a word and I would find the strength to kill him.

"Your voluntary help." Lea tilted his head and looked at me seriously and without a mask. "I need your help, Cass."


	8. The Rune of the Companions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lea will spill a few of his secrets and the magic of the Queen will claim a new "victim".

I stared at Lea speechless for a moment. He couldn’t think… I couldn’t… I _wouldn’t…_ I forced my increasing heartbeat to slow and my shoulders to relax.

"This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"Nonetheless true." The childlike smile was once again on his lips. "I knew you could be trusted."

"Not even I trust myself, especially not since I've been part of this freak show," I spat at him, revealing far too much with the first statement than I was comfortable sharing.

"It doesn’t matter. I can trust you enough for the both of us." He stepped closer to me and tapped me lightly on my back. I stared at him without knowing what I was looking for. He didn’t appear to hide behind the bright smile and his volcanic eyes still showed his earnestness and sincerity. The supplement of his movements wasn’t hidden anymore. This was Lea. Who would fight till he got what he wanted. Who hoped.

“Come on!” He pushed lightly at my back and I resumed walking. It took me a moment to notice that his touch hadn’t hurt.

"You can’t mean that." There was concern in my voice I hadn’t meant to be there. Concern for him? Impossible. Of course, I was concerned. He had tricked me and I couldn’t be sure when I would have found out. There was no damn way I would even think _if_ I would have found out.

The honest childlike smile remained where it was, but his eyes became more earnest. "I trust in your good heart." He laughed, honest but with deep knowledge of the pain and misery that this trust could inflict on him if I decided to prove him wrong. "I trust in the good heart of a Dragonslayer. If you don’t kill me, my family surely will.” He didn’t lie. He had shown me his hand and whether I deserved his trust or didn’t, there was no way he could go back to his family. I understood that feeling at least.

"The last Queen became a Dragonslayer. Is it really wise to trust me?" I asked in a playful manner – or as playful at I could force it to be at the moment – but the truth behind it weighed heavily on my words. Even if I tried to forget it. Lea wanted to trust me, a blood traitor? That was his decision, but I wouldn’t lose sleep over it if he was wrong.

"I don’t trust the Queen, Cass, I trust you." He looked at me with big, serious children's eyes. Like a six-year-old who took a vow, but I would never be fooled by this look again.

"You really can’t be taken seriously for even a second." I pushed him aside and hid my horror. It didn’t matter, as long as I didn’t trust him I was safe. It wasn’t as if I had to lose anything if he trusted me.  

Lea laughed, but I saw his glance to the side. He had meant it. Every single word, or at least I thought I had read that in him. If that was a tactic to make me feel safe, it was brilliant. Wait. _Was_ it brilliant? I was more freaked out than ever. No matter what he wanted, I had to be careful. Even if I thought I was good, he wasn’t on the scale.

"Down these stairs are the… cells." Lea had led me through practically half of the Castle, and had not stopped talking for a second. And I was almost thankful for his talkativeness. My thoughts had needed some time to settle after his declaration of trust and hope. Why would anyone ever do something so stupid? Why would he act so stupid?

He pulled me down a staircase that was broad enough for three people to walk side by side comfortably. Each stair was of beautiful soapstone and the railing was skilfully carved out of a light wood. On the walls hung paintings and tapestries. Was this the way to the cells or to an art exhibition?

Lea seemed to interpret my expression, for he laughed – again – and knocked on one of the carvings. "Looks pretentious, doesn’t it? Apparently, there were never prisoners in this Castle, only involuntary guests. Wait until you see the cells."

He ran past me, always taking three steps at the same time, and disappeared around the next corner. If I wanted to set a trap I would do it here; releasing the prisoner and blaming it on him would be easy.

I took a deep breath and closed my hand around the dagger behind my back. Lea was a good fighter, but I was better. I had to be. I stepped around the corner, ready to kill Lea the second he attacked me. It took me a moment to understand what I was seeing. Instead of the murderous attack I had prepared myself and my muscles for, I stood in a long corridor with fine-limbed lights hanging on the walls. The supposed murderer bouncing towards a large oak portal at the end of the hallway. I forced my breath under control and tried to soothe the raging adrenaline in my veins. With long strides I followed him down the hall. To the left of the oak portal, which wasn’t nearly as impressive as the entrance, stood in a small niche. In it was a table on which lay a book, a pencil and a keg of ink.

I leaned over the book and tried to keep the adrenaline from stabbing Lea just because he was standing next to me.

The ink on the opened page had faded to the point of being unrecognizable; only in some places could one see that something had to have been written there. I turned to a previous page and suppressed the trembling of my hand. I needed to run at least ten kilometres to get rid of all the adrenaline still pumping through my blood.

Columns were drawn neatly on the paper, in which the date, name of the prisoner and name of the visitor were recorded. In each line were the same names: Derek, in the column for the prisoner and Cassandra, in the column for the visitor. I skipped back a few pages, but only in rare exceptions had Cassandra been accompanied. The data followed each other like a clockwork. At least once a day she'd been down here to talk to that Derek.

"One might ask oneself what she wanted to know so desperately." Lea ran two fingers over the names. The gesture was nearly mournful, as if he knew them.

I straightened up again, disregarding his concern. "That's over two hundred years in the past, I'm sure it doesn’t matter to us."

"And if it's the reason why Cassandra became a Dragonslayer?" His volcanic eyes met my indifferent gaze.

"What would that change?" I still tried to suppress the urge to stab him.

"Probably nothing." I could hear the soundless laughter in his voice. "On the other hand, those who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it."

I turned away from him. "I'm a Dragonslayer, if I want to be or not. One thing less to worry about." Before he could contradict me, and that wouldn’t have been too difficult, I put my hand on the door's cold latch and pulled it open.

I had assumed that the Castle couldn’t surprise me anymore. I was wrong. The corridor continued for at least twenty metres further and gave space for ten very spacious cells, with a bed, a table, two chairs, and a door in the back wall to a bathroom, as I suspected.

"Involuntary guests." I muttered Lea's words tonelessly.

"Cosy isn’t it?"

"Are these carpets?" I asked in horror, and Lea laughed.

"Victor was shocked too."

Thoroughly perplexed, I stared at the luxury in front of me. This wasn’t a dungeon; it was a hotel without windows. And judging by the carpets, blankets and pillows, a better one than I'd ever seen from inside.

I followed Lea to the second cell and looked through the bars to the rumpled bed and the protruding breakfast.

"Hey, is someone home?" He met my outraged look and made a questioning hand gesture. "What?"

"This is a cell! If no one..." I stopped mid-sentence. My _fan_ pushed open the door in the back of the cell and ran at me with astonishing speed and a toothbrush to stab me with. He had courage. I didn’t bother to step aside but lifted my hand to take the wannabe puncture weapon out of his incapable hands, but it didn’t come to that.

The air between the bars seemed to be much more stable than air should be. The _weapon_ struck an impenetrable wall and the toothbrush assassin shouted as something crunched uncomfortably in his hand.

"That didn’t sound good." Lea shook his head regretfully.

"What's your name?" I stared into the red shining pupils and ignored his pain-distorted face as he pressed his hand to his chest.

"Go to hell," he hissed between his teeth.

I squatted in front of the bars and smiled at him. “I am there already."

"You shouldn’t say such a thing, my Queen." Lea casually leaned his shoulder against the bars and watched the prisoner. "This Castle is very comfortable, just look at this cell! When I..."

"What's your name?" I demanded, interrupting Lea's speech coldly.

The involuntary guest stared back furiously. His teeth were bared, as if to snarl at me. But I saw his hopelessness, his fear. He still held his hand, and I saw the slight trembling that he was trying to conceal.

"You tell me your name and we’ll bandage your hand."

Lea's eyes twitched, he didn’t seem to like the idea. I can’t lie, that alone excited me.

"What’s your name?"

"I won’t give you anything! You’ll kill me and..."

"You tried to kill the Queen." Lea's voice was now cooler, more controlled, a warning sign that our friend couldn’t read.

"We don’t need a Queen! We will destroy you and your throne and burn down this castle!"

I turned my head and stared at him with an arctic glare. No matter how nonsensical it was, this Castle had a personality; it had humour and no one would touch it. I didn’t care how idiotic it sounded even in my head.

"Let's try again." My hand slid through the bars and closed around his throat in a split second. "What's your name?" My grip wasn’t quite tight enough to break his neck. He even got air. I simply wanted to dissuade him from getting the idea to burn me.

"Let him go, my Queen. You'll kill him."

I looked at Lea and raised an eyebrow. "I hardly touched him."

"So it may be, but he just turned blue."

Reluctantly I pulled my hand from his throat and let him fall to the ground. He crawled back a few paces and caught his breath. He was still angry, but now he was also afraid.

"For the last time, what is your name?" I stood up and neither my eyes nor my voice suggested that I meant that I would ask again tomorrow.

"Chem." He spat his name at me as if he could hurt me with it.

"Thank you." The smile on my lips was cold when I turned on my heels and left. I would be able to break him without spilling his blood. It would take time, but whether I wanted it or not, I had plenty of time. Before I could leave all of this I needed answers, and I needed a working and fool-proof plan. And I had no fucking clue how long that would take.

Lea followed me and it took me a lot of control to tolerate him in my back. The oak door swung open before I could touch the handle and I forced myself to maintain my relaxed walking pace.

After a few steps, I heard the door slide into the lock and jerked around, pressing my back against the wall. I stared at Lea, who had a knowing smile on his lips.

"Did you ask the Castle to open the door for you?" He leaned against the opposite wall almost casually and folded his arms before his chest so that I could see his hands.

"The Castle knows more about me and what I want than myself." I put a hand on the cool wall as if to caress it.

"That wasn’t an answer. But it has protected you from the toothbrush."

I ignored him. "We should go to breakfast." I gestured to him to go first.

He laughed. "Don’t worry my Queen, if I wanted to kill you, I would have done it by now."

"You would have _tried_ it by now." I corrected him and walked up the stairs beside him.

He gave me a side view glance and smiled. "I'm sure we both have a few tricks up our sleeves."

"You're right, I’m sure." I hesitated. "Why did you warn me?" I couldn’t formulate it any other way. Despite everything else, he was warning me. Not to enable me to stop flee or to help me in my goals, but to give a heads up about what he thought would happen. He had ulterior motives, of course, but I was sure he had told them to me. Maybe not everything, but probably enough. If I believed him.

"Don’t you know?" He smiled happily and light-heartedly and it surprised me to believe him. He actually wanted my help. I turned my gaze away and wrestled down the urge to ram my head into one of the stonewalls.

"Don’t worry, you’ll be able to trust me in time."

Horrified, I stared at him and his relaxed face. He had got to be kidding me.

"I will earn your trust."

His confidence was impressive and extended into delusion, but who was I to destroy his dreams. I gently ignored the barely audible voice in my head that wanted to believe him – Okay I tried to drown them.

"Sure you will," I said in soothing voice wrapped in barbed wire.

"Just wait." Lea laughed light-heartedly and possessed the audacity of ignore my ice-cold mocking. Or the barbed wire that could draw blood if I used it on others. Speaking of...

"How are the others?"

"They are fine. They are, however, not pleased that we have a guest."

"If they knew that their holy Queen isn’t allowed to kill they might be happier.” Not that I cared. In fact, I might be happier if they didn’t know.

"Is that why he’s still alive?"

"No."

"You should tell them the truth. Trust grows only if it’s reciprocated."

"Trust is a luxury that I can’t afford." Shane's face appeared un-arbitrary before my eyes, but I banished the thought so fast that not even Lea could see the memory flashing in my eyes.

"We'll see." Lea's smile was mild, as if he knew I'd recognize the truth early enough. A smile that made me furious, because of so many reasons. But it wouldn’t be a good idea to strangle him right now.

We weren’t more than a few meters from the dining room and I could hear their voices. To my exceedingly great surprise, they were arguing again.

"Children, children, what's going on?" Lea entered the room before me and glared at them with a mild headmaster's smile.

"Jester, if you..."

Victor fell silence as he looked at me, showing me a bland expression.

"How are you, my Queen?" Richard jumped up as if to run towards me and I didn’t even want to find out what he would do.

"I'm fine," I said quickly, my hands up in a placatory gesture and he sat down again.

Lucian and Anakleto followed my steps with their glances, and I decided that I wouldn’t be able to last the coming conversation without caffeine and went to the buffet for a cup of life giving elixir. On the way back, I grabbed a blueberry muffin before dropping into my chair.

"So?" I asked indifferently, taking the first sip of my – thanks to the caramel syrup – gloriously sweet coffee. "Will I be dethroned?"

"You know very well that we would have dethroned you already, if we could," declared Victor coolly.

"Really, Vicky, that's not nice." Lea sat down beside me with a full-loaded plate and a serene smile as if none of this bothered him.

Victor gave him a crushing look, then turned back to me. "Why do you want him to live?"

"Lea is annoying, I agree, but I don’t think it's worth a death sentence," I explained innocently, sipping my coffee. I registered delightedly that the vein in Victor’s temple began to throb.

"I was talking about the fire in the dungeon that almost killed Amalia."

Apart from the fact that Chem had injured me and not Amalia, I didn’t point out that he couldn’t have been the shooter.

"I want to know who is behind it.” A sly smile grew on my lips and I couldn’t care less. “Besides, in your laws, which I am supposed to follow, the Queen is not allowed to kill.  You will have to do the dirty work."

"Since when do you care about the laws?" Victor asked coolly. His dark eyes bored into mine, as if he wanted to pry my true intentions from my brain whether or not I wanted to share them. Fortunate for him, I wanted to.

"Since it helps me get what I want," I explained cheerfully. "Pleased?" I asked Lea, who looked as if he wanted to beat his forehead against the table. I too could be annoying when I wanted to be.

"I said you should earn their trust, not use the truth to make them hate you even more." His tone was light and gentle, but I could read his displeasure about this situation from his face. And it didn’t matter that he showed me his displeasure voluntarily.

"My Queen, the jester..." Richard began, but Victor interrupted him.

"Why does he live?" Victor's black pupils dilated – the only warning sign I would get that he was about to use his magic against me. Before I could react, Lucian stood up jerkily and glared at Victor.

"Stop that Victor! She’s the Queen!"

Victor gave him a quick look, as did I.

"Does this mean you want him to be alive?" I asked Lucian, watching him closely.

"No." He pressed his lips together and tucked one of his golden curls behind his ear again. His gaze, though of rainbow-colored irises, was freezing. "He tried to assassinate the Queen and almost killed Amalia. But I think it’s right that he gets a trial." His gaze became softer. "You _are_ the Guardian of Righteousness."

Hadn’t I dug myself a cosy grave right there?

"Sure, that was my intention." I turned to Anakleto. "What do you think?"

"If you killed him, he wouldn’t have tried to bite me." He sighed. "We’re here for justice and that is in your judgment according to our laws." He hesitated. "So I'll trust you. Aside from your ancestry, you have proved yourself worthy so far."

I would have liked to point out in excruciating detail that this hadn’t been my plan at all, but something else was more urgent. "Because of my ancestry, I'm here." I laughed acidly. "Actually, every Unmensch could guess who is sitting on the throne."

"Stop using that word." Victor’s stare was one of hatred and contempt. How much must he hate the fact that he needed me?

"If you don’t argue anymore." I smiled sweetly at him and his vicious glare.

"Actually, we could have guessed." Richard looked up, embarrassed. "But no one has dreamed that a Dragonslayer..." His voice fell silent. Apparently, he hadn’t considered how the sentence should end when he began it.

"That a Dragonslayer would be dumb enough to dare to go to a _Paien_ Castle?" The heavy pronunciation I used of their chosen word to refer to themselves was probably more of a defamation than anytime I said _Unmensch_.

Victor moved as if he wanted to jump me, but Anakleto grabbed his wrist. Lea grabbed mine a little too hard for a simple reminder to be _nice_. I didn’t want to be nice. I wanted to be mean and I wanted to grab the Irrlicht and…

Heavy silence fell over the table. Lea’s hand burned on my wrist. I thought about ripping at my arm, but I could imagine how well that would work. Even if a fight appeared to be a welcomed diversion, it wouldn’t be clever. Not that I normally stopped to think about what would be _smart_ to do. I exhaled heavily. I had hoped to get rid of the anger as soon as I had escaped Melrose but it didn’t. It was probably stupid to hope that… Actually, scratch that. It was stupid to hope period.

“I was stupid enough to step into this… Paien Castle.” I tried the word carefully, as if I didn’t know if I could say it without choking. I could.

"Yeah." Richard looked at me shyly. "You're different than..." He stopped himself. Probably because of the growl that escaped Victor’s throat.

"As Queen, we will follow your orders, and as Dragonslayer you aren’t a fighter to be underestimated." Lucian's eyes captivated me. "Maybe you're exactly what we need."

"Heart-warming." I placed my coffee cup carefully on the table. “And how do you think I could prevent a war? We didn’t learn diplomacy in Dragonslayer school.” The words were over my lips before I grasped their full meaning. Now I had said them and they hung gravely over my head. I hadn’t meant to say something like that, hadn’t meant to… What? Ask a stupid question? One look from Lucian’s rainbow coloured eyes and I wanted to forget that there was no such thing as hope. Not for them when they were looking at me. Not for me. I hid everything I felt behind a serene mask of vagueness.

Lea eyes sparkled. He suppressed a victorious smile and tried for a solemn look. "First, we must defuse the situation. We’ll strengthen your power and officially crown you. As soon as your judgment is law, no one will dare to attack you as Queen."

"That sounds like a dictatorship." My voice was cold. Melrose had ruled our family as a despot with an iron fist and I didn’t want to be part of such a rule, even when I was sitting at the top.

"This isn’t really true as your powers are very limited," Richard continued, but I had seen his twitch.

"Aha. My powers are limited to remit death sentences and my word is law. Sounds like nothing could go wrong."

"That's why it's so important that this power gets into the right hands." Lea looked at me, deadly serious. Victor had also heard that unyielding tone in Lea’s voice and fixed an intense gaze at Lea.

"And the right hands are those of a Dragonslayer? If the succession of the throne is based on blood, my mother or my grandmother would have been able to ascend the throne, and that wouldn’t have been pleasant for anyone."

"Would that have been possible?" Anakleto threw a questioning look around. "If I remember correctly, it has happened that the throne was unoccupied for a short while, when a generation had to be skipped over."

"Or the successor was too young," Lea agreed and turned his attention to me again. "You have been given power not only because of your blood, but because you can shoulder it. If the runes hadn’t accepted you as worthy, they would have burned you."

I stared into his flaming eyes. I remembered the burning pain well. "The Nymph has kept this unimportant detail me from." Even if I should have guessed it. Hadn’t I thought something like that?

"Wouldn’t you have done the same?" A mischievous smile lay on his lips, even if it couldn’t completely cover up his tension. I didn’t react to that, too deep was the burning in my gut. No. I wouldn’t have.

"How do you know all this?" Victor looked at him doubtfully.

"I've already told you." Lea beamed. "My family sent me to kill the Queen. That's why I know just about everything you need to know about her."

"How could they believe you..." Lucian started, then shook his curls and leaned back. "What will we do now?"

"The jester is right." Victor ignored Lea's radiant smile and turned to the others, which didn’t necessarily include me.

"We have to make sure that the Queen's power will be recognized again. We must eliminate the warmongers, especially the King's Front."

"Benedict, isn’t it?" I took another sip of coffee. Every other subject would be welcomed right now, even warmongers apparently.

"Yes." The faces around the table darkened with the prospect of facing him.

A bright smile spread out on my lips. "You are afraid?"

"Benedict has achieved what no one has ever done since Cassandra. The King’s Front isn’t the only rebellion against the old order but the most violent. Many consider Benedict a king and as long as your power isn’t secured..." Lucian began, but Victor interrupted him harshly.

"The King's Front has a lot of voluntary and even more involuntary followers who will act on Benedict's orders, as will his personal assassin. You’ve got us seven." He stared at me coldly. "Benedict has proved his power and influence for two years now. You don’t even want to be here. You're a Dragonslayer, the descendant of the Queen who has betrayed us all."

The implied accusation, why even one single Paien should believe in me, weighed heavily. One more reason to hold my head high.

"No matter what the King's Front propaganda is, the position of the Queen can be given only by the coronation ceremony. If Benedict believed he could get that power any other way, he would have already tried." Takumi looked at us unmoved. "Blood and magic and destiny, it needs everything for the throne."

"What is he?" I asked before any other idea could cross my mind.

"A fire," Rick muttered in discomfort. Wait, when had I adopted Lea’s bad habit of using that nickname?

"Strictly speaking, he is part of my family." Lea smiled happily and gave me a meaningful look.

That made sense. Lea's kind was powerful and cruel. Even a less cunning and charming volcano than Lea could build an army. "Okay, I..."

"You didn’t understand me, my Queen."

I met Lea's gaze, the red of his pupil seemed to bubble. "Benedict _is_ my family."

Even before I had fully understood what his words meant, Lucian and Anakleto had already thrown themselves on him, while Takumi and Victor dragged me back. Had I grown so slow? I was ashamed of myself.

Lea didn’t resist when they threw him to the ground, not even when he was dragged back. Unlike me.

"That's enough." I pushed Victor and Takumi from me and gave them an irritated look. Victor’s hand would leave a bruise I was sure, not that it concerned me right now.

Richard had backed away and stared at Lea in wordless horror.

"Let him go," I demanded sharply.

"No!" Victor stepped in front of me hissing. "He's part of the King's Front." He gave him a hate-filled look. "Probably the little brother who was trained to be Benedict's personal assassin."

"At your service." The words whirred joyfully from Lea's tongue. He disregarded Lucian’s and Anakleto’s attempt to break his arms and press him as painfully as they could to the hard floor.

"It’s enough. Let him go."

"Cass!" Anakleto stared at me without moving. "He killed more Paien than..."

"Me?" I pushed past Victor, just so that Takumi could step in my way.

"Takumi..."

"Take this seriously, my Queen." The golden ribbons in his eyes jagged around each other, the only sign that he was upset.

"How often did you leave me with him when I was unconscious?" The words were through my lips before I could ask myself what I wanted to prove here. And more importantly, why I tried to protect Lea.

"I was just with him by our guest. In his place I would have killed me, freed the prisoner and let him attack me. I would have claimed that the Queen was stupid enough to let the prisoner out of his cell because she was bored. None of you would have doubted that. Some of you would have been relieved, I’m sure.” I smiled at them cheerfully. "Instead, he sat down there, between you all, claiming to be part of the freak show you all hate. Even as a jester, he should have more sense than that."

The expressions between confusion and anger annoyed me less than Lea’s knowing smile. He had shown me his true nature. I knew his motives and had told everyone the truth so that no one ever tried to use this knowledge against him. Did I know his motives? Not the time to consider that now.

"Let him go, or he’ll free himself. But without hurting them, Lea. Takumi has enough to do," I added as I turned away from Lea and took a bowl of muesli. The half muffin had fallen victim to my _rescue_. I heard quick movements behind me and a hiss. When I turned around, Lea stood between Anakleto and Lucian, smiling contentedly at me.

"Wipe that grin from your face and never ever tell me that it's hard to work with me again."

"How long have you known each other?" Victor stared appalled from Lea to me and back again. As if we were his worst nightmare.

"You were there." I met his gaze. "It was a few days ago. In the entrance hall."

Victor's eyes narrowed to slits.

"I talked to the Queen this morning." Lea smiled at them and seemed to ignore the glances of hatred and mistrust. "I told her I was going to do everything to put her on the throne and I'll do anything to prevent the war." His smile disappeared and for the first time he showed the warrior with the unbreakable will to them. "I'm going to make Cass stop this war even if it's the last thing we do."

Anakleto looked like he was about to hit him again, but Lucian held him back, barely holding back on his own revulsion.

"He would sacrifice you!" Anakleto screamed angrily at me. The repulsion of his voice hit me like a hammer, but I kept my mask firmly in place.

"He already said that this morning and Amalia and Victor are threatening me with this since the first hour."

"Why do you trust him?" Takumi was still standing next to me, as if to throw himself in front of me.

"I don’t trust him," I said dismissively. I wasn’t sure how much I lied saying this and was afraid it could be less than I thought… No. "But if he wanted to kill me, he would have already tried. Apart from the fact that I knew about his acting for a little longer." I gestured to them to sit back down, but it didn’t seem as if that was in their near future.

"I am much more interested in why you want to betray your brother?" I smiled at Lea as I pulled the dagger out of my trouser waistband and began to play with it.

"I've already told you a few days ago." Lea's eyes were on me, even if he spoke to everyone. "Ben can’t sit on the throne. Even the power he now possesses corrupts him. When he started... When _we_ started, we wanted to improve the world. We wanted to remove the shards of the last Queen. But politics..." He laughed coldly. "Ben began to compromise. My self-defence training became... more."

"How much more?" I asked quietly.

"A lot more." His face darkened for a moment before a firm smile came to his lips. "Whether you admit it or not, you are becoming more and more our Queen, Cass. You take on your task, even if you still try to deny it. I know it, Takumi knows it, even Victor knows it. From minute to minute, you'll become more the Queen we need." He hesitated for a fraction of a second, and I saw uncertainty flicker over his face before being stomped out by determination. "I love my brother, but he is no ruler. He can never sit on the throne and he shouldn’t try. I'm here because I want to protect him from himself and because I believe in the Queen." He wanted to take a step towards me, but Lucian and Anakleto stood in his way. Lea hesitated and then stopped where he was.

"I watched you, Cass, and asked myself why you were here. I think you ran away from your family because you didn’t want to kill anymore. You didn’t want to hate anymore. That is why you fled."

I looked at him blankly. It wasn’t hard to guess, apart from the fragments I had told them. I didn’t hide my contempt for my former life or my family. It still vexed me that he told me part of my reasoning like that.

"You protected the child without hesitation and showed the mother kindness a heartless killer wouldn’t be able to show. I have come to the conclusion that you are what we need and even if you don’t know it yet, I am convinced that you will be our Queen. And that you will be the Queen I want to serve.”

"That's enough." I stood up and stared at him. "You can’t know any of this."

"I was trained to be an assassin and hated every single day." In Lea's eyes, hatred and frustration flashed, but he hid them so fast that I wasn’t sure that I had really seen them. "I didn’t want to learn anything about it and I didn’t want to... But it was the wish of my brother who had raised me. How could I deny him my help?" The smile became melancholic. "So I bowed to his wishes the way you bowed to your families’ wishes. I decided a few weeks ago that it was enough and that I couldn’t take it anymore. Just like you did. You came here and gave me a possibility of freedom and a possibility to save my brother from himself. I am therefore in your debt."

I stared at him. Rage racing through my veins like poison and settling in my stomach. "I don’t want your debt. I don’t want any of it." I fought against the scream that tried to scrape itself from my sore throat.

"You want to be free." Lea beamed at me. "And that is why you are my Queen."

My eyes were still fixed on his kind smile that held a depth of sorrow I didn’t want to see. How could I answer a bared soul? He gave up his act and showed his true face. Lea, who had probably suffered a similar training as I had and instead of being hateful, distrusting or despairing, he entrusted me with his life and that of his brother. Something I would never be able to. Everything about him spoke of hope. Of trust in me.

"You trust me?" My voice was hollow and empty of any emotion.

"I trust that you will make the right decisions when the time comes."

"And if I decide that your brother and the rest of the King's Front must die?"

Lea had expected the question, but he still hesitated. "I won’t raise my hand against my brother. But... I wouldn’t let him hurt you."

"Lie," Victor hissed at Lea brutally. "You have to decide. The King's Front or the Queen!"

"The Queen." He swallowed. "But I won’t hurt my brother."

I ignored the screaming of the others and watched Lea's face closely. How easy it would have been for him to lie and claim he would hate his brother. How simple it would have been to pull the strings from the background, but he had decided to tell the truth. Although I didn’t want to believe it, I knew that he told the truth. I had seen his pain, his shame, his despair in the last couple of minutes. I knew how he felt and I couldn’t… I couldn’t believe anyone could lie like this, not even him.

"Does he know what you're doing here?" I asked numb.

Lea stared past Victor and Anakleto and caught my eye. "No."

"What will he do when he finds out?"

"I don’t know." I saw the desperation in the volcanic depths of his eyes. He wanted to say that Benedict wouldn’t hurt him. But he couldn’t. He didn’t know how he would react. I remembered this feeling.

"We'll try it diplomatically. Without you. And the moment we have to take more drastic means, you’ll be our guest."

"No."

"Castle, bring Lea to the last cell. Don’t let him out.” _Don’t let him harm himself._ I thought as hard as I could while I felt the pull, and Lea vanished with a wince and what I was sure was a scream on his lips.

"What did you do?" Lucian stared at me horrified.

"I proved to Lea what he knew I would do."

"My Queen, even if he says the truth, he is a great danger." Takumi looked at me blankly, but the golden ribbons in his eyes belied him.

"You believe him?"

"Yes. But it does not alter the danger that..."

"He's part of the King's Front!" Anakleto burst out and stared at me furiously. "We should kill him and send his head..."

I raised an eyebrow and stared blankly at him.

Anakleto cursed viciously and left the room.

"Why do you protect him, Queen?" Lucian's face was cool and more like an angel of revenge than anything else.

"If I get a second chance as a Dragonslayer, shouldn’t he get a chance too? I can’t believe I said that." Before I could say any more, I asked the Castle to send me to the prison.

"Cass." Lea sat on one of the two chairs in the spacious cell with his back to the bars. Rage flickered over his face. Rage and something else.

"What can I do for you?" Lea's smile was as cynical as it was vulnerable. He had offered me his bare soul with no safety net to catch him if I let him fall.

"Do you really think I am going to be the holy Queen you dreamed of, who will bring peace and love and save little children and puppies?"

"Yes."

"And you know that my first reflex is to kill everything that stands in my way?"

"Yes."

I held his gaze. "If you have to choose between the sacred Queen and peace and your brother, what will you choose?"

Lea stared at me appraisingly.

"I wouldn’t choose the Queen, or the peace." I dropped into the chair in front of him and closed my eyes. "I am looking for someone. The moment I have to sacrifice the Queen, peace or my life to find him, I would do it. Without hesitation. Without regret."

"I don’t believe you."

"You don’t have to." I opened my eyes slowly. "You're right, I've fled to escape my family. But most of all I wanted to find him and be free."

"That doesn’t change the fact that you're going to be our Queen. You won’t leave your task after you have been crowned."  

"And you could?"

Lea didn’t answer but his expression was answer enough.

"Could you flee with your brother, who doesn’t hate you in the best-case scenario, after you have been trying to restore peace for all Paien kind for weeks or months? You claim I wanted freedom, but we both know it was your wish. To be free. To no longer have to kill. To leave everything behind you."

"You seem to know exactly how it feels."

I smiled mournfully. "You said maybe this is what I'm looking for. Perhaps it is what you were looking for."

"What do you want, Cass?" His face was blank and it assured me more than anything that he was honest.

"The others think you are too dangerous, but you can be very useful. You said you wouldn’t raise your hand against him, not that you wouldn’t betray him."

Lea's face became cold. Even colder. "What do you demand of me?"

"I propose you a trade. I will play the holy Queen and try to make peace and save your brother if it is possible. For that you swear to help me flee as soon as I want to flee and remain as a regent."

Lea shook his head slightly. "You'll be the Queen, I..."

"Any magic can be broken, and so can the magic of the Queen," I interrupted him harshly.

Lea's gaze wandered over my arms and then to my eyes. He didn’t believe it, but he didn’t have to.

"You swear to bring peace and save my brother’s life?"

"I swear I'll try."

Lea hesitated for a moment longer and nodded. "Good."

"Good." I looked at him hard and ignored the tingle at the back of my neck. "I swear I will do everything to prevent the war and save your brother’s life, if possible. I won’t betray you." I held my hand out to him and waited.  

Lea regarded my hand a moment before breathing heavily. "I swear if you ever want to flee, to help you and to represent you in your absence as a regent." He smiled. "I swear I won’t betray you and serve you as long as you prove to be a worthy Queen." He grabbed my outstretched hand and an electric shock seared my arm. I felt his hand close around mine with an iron grip. A rune lit red on my arm and burned. Lea started to gasp and the same rune burned itself on his forearm.

As soon as the burning disappeared, I tore my hand back. Nothing had changed on my arm; the rune wandered further while her duplicate burned black on Lea's forearm. A single bloodstain ran down his arm and he caught my eye.

"That was unpleasant."

"Try that all over your arms and then you can complain to me.” My eyes wandered to his mark again. "What does it mean?"  

"How would I know?"

"Let's find it out. Castle," I put a hand on the cool stone wall. "Bring us into my study, please."

A familiar sting later, we were standing in my study. Lea, still holding his arm, took the first rune book. If we were looking side by side, it could take years to find it.

"Castle, could you show us the book in which the rune is that Lea got branded with?"

Nothing happened. I exhaled disappointed, as a book shot at me with blinding speed. I could barely jerk back before it could split my head. It slumped over the floor and slammed against one of the bookshelves, where it lay open.

"Is the Castle trying to help you or kill you?" Lea asked with an unsure look at the book.

"It tries to help." I couldn’t explain to myself why I was so convinced of this. Or why it felt like an ally. "Thank you, Castle."

I picked up the book from the floor, smiling fondly. The opened side showed Lea’s rune. I glanced over the sentences below and laughed.

"What? It worries me to see you so… happy. "

"Didn’t you say the others would swear their loyalty to me, but you're not one of them?" I held out the book. "Read for yourself."

Lea took the book from me and I saw how he followed the fine lines of the rune once with his finger before he began to read.

"This rune marks the companions of the Queen, who have sworn their allegiance and have been found worthy. It is one of the few runes that other Paien bear. Before this rune is pursued, the future bearer should be aware that the consequences are the same as the Queen's runes. As soon as the rune has accepted its bearer, the bearer will be their whole life in the service of the Queen." Lea looked up from the book and stared at me.

"Welcome to the club of the involuntarily runed."

"Did you know that?" His voice sounded hoarse.

"No. But I also didn’t know what the consequences were when I was runed.”  

Lea stared at the rune on his forearm. "It seems as if I couldn’t betray you now even if I wanted to."

"If you had wanted to, the rune would have burned you."

"And if I change my mind now?"

"Do you want to try it?" I pulled the dagger out of my waistband and handed it to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my love to everyone who's reading this. 
> 
> This is one of my favorite chapters and I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> And as always: thousand balloons, flowers and chocolates to my lovely beta reader EnsignAnna!


	9. Seven Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Cass turn to tell a few details from her past...
> 
> Warning: mention of child abuse and brutality towards children!

Lea looked down on the dagger I offered him and just for a moment, I thought he would take it. A smile grazed his lips.

"Thank you, I’ll forgo."

"Probably wiser." I pulled the dagger back and stopped dead. I had trusted him. Now and in this moment, I had _known_ he wouldn’t hurt me in any way.

I saw the knowing smile flicker over Lea's face, even if the shock was still visible.

"That doesn’t mean anything,” I snapped.

"’course not,” he declared dismissively. "I'll get a jacket."

That was probably a good idea. Was it a good idea? Maybe the rune would reassure the others that Lea wouldn’t kill me. Would they be angry that he bore the rune? Did I care? Not at all.

Everything Lea had said swirled through my mind and it was difficult to grasp one of my own thoughts. Worst of all was the way he had looked at me. It wasn’t hard to recognise the look of defeat once you saw it on your own face. He was still standing, still fighting, but it was all a matter of time. Trusting me was his last resort, his last chance. He was hanging from a cliff with one hand holding on to loose rocks. I did mean what I said. I would try my fucking best to stop the King’s Front – to be able to find Shane without a war on my conscience. I would try to not kill his brother – to give Lea a reason to keep fighting. But neither meant I could prevent him from falling off that cliff – or preventing him from willingly letting go.

There was no use in overthinking this. Either I succeeded or I didn’t. Either he could pull himself up or he couldn’t. I forced myself to take a shower and change clothes. After combing my hair so often that I had to be on the verge of becoming bald I gave up. My churning thoughts wouldn’t shut up. I could have done something useful, like trying to learn more secrets about the Castle or the Queen or my own damn past, but instead I armed myself with more weapons and went to Amalia’s room.

For a long moment, I stared at the dark brown wood. With practised severity, I supressed any thoughts and feelings that still occupied my mind and rapped hard on the polished surface. I entered without waiting for a response.

Amalia sat in the bed, resting on pillows. There was a plate of breakfast in front of her, which Takumi seemed to have brought from the buffet. He had put a chair next to the bed and brought Amalia up to speed, obviously.

The silence that had fallen upon my entry was broken by Amalia. "Is Leander your guest now?" She showed no emotion, but her voice betrayed her weakness.

"As much as I would enjoy that, no he isn’t." Without a trace of hesitation, I stripped off my shoes and sat down beside her on the bed. "How is she doing?"

Takumi glanced back at me. "You should ask her."

"She looks better, but I want to know how bad her injuries are."

Amalia pulled up a slender eyebrow. "You can ask me that, too."

"Okay, how are you? How bad are your injuries?" I crossed my arms and looked at her challengingly.

"Good. A bullet does not stop me."

"Takumi?"

"She will survive it."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever." I wanted to get up, but a cold hand stopped me.

"Why did you protect the jester?"

My gaze wandered from her slender hand on my arm to her eyes. No matter how often I saw them, they lost nothing of their unnaturalness. To meet her eyes was equal with staring into a black hole or a crack in reality.

"I believe Lea. He wants to prevent war and save his brother. He knows more about the King's Front and the Queen than any other, and he's an excellent fighter."

Takumi and Amalia looked at me in silence.

"Why do you believe him?"

I met Takumi's dominated face. "And why do you believe him?"

Takumi looked at me for a moment. "You are right, it makes no sense to invent this story. Even if we were to fall for it, others are not so lenient."

I nodded. Anakleto would be a problem, Lucian and Victor could be a problem, and Rick seemed paralyzed with fear.

"I heard about the King's Front’s assassin." Amalia's hand detached herself from my arm and she lay back with a heavy sigh. "Leander does not seem like..."

"You did not see him." Takumi's voice was blank.

"Is his happiness just a lie?" Amalia tilted her head.

I ignored her questions and tried to estimate her health. She was much healthier than she had been earlier. Should her recovery proceed at this rate, she would be cured in a few days.

"What is it, Cass?" Amalia's unnatural gaze drifted into mine and I turned away.

"Nothing." I pushed from the bed, but Takumi stopped me.

"What are you planning, my Queen?"

I turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

"You promised Leander to meet with the King's Front, have you not?"

I nodded once.

As much as I tried to defend myself against the Queen's magic, I couldn’t stop my transformation. It didn’t feel like I was changing, but it was as if the goals I had always had were becoming clearer and more attainable. It could all be the magic, but I didn’t believe it. I wanted to save lives and not to destroy them. I wanted peace and not war. I had always longed for a community that wasn’t corroded by hate. I wanted to decide for myself what I was doing and which goals I pursued, and didn’t want to sit on the side line. All this I had already wanted as a child, but in my imagination, Shane and I had moved like superheroes from town to town. I hadn’t perched alone in a stone-block with accursed runes on my arms and more or less annoying Paien.

Amalia looked at me thoughtfully. "You really do become the Queen, do you not?" Her voice was drawn in disbelief, but her face didn’t want to give up hope.

"For now." Even in my ears it sounded ridiculous, but before I could humble myself further, the castle bell resounded. I met the nervous glances of the other two. As often as the bell rescued me, even more often it drew potentially deadly inquiries to all of our lives. Like Amalia had thankfully demonstrated, after I had already provided an example.

Takumi followed me into the entrance hall where everyone else had already been gathered, including Lea with a hoodie. Calling the mood icy was an understatement.

"What says the inquiry?" I asked, ignoring the various looks and closed faces. It was a gift from God that I couldn’t be less interested in what each one of them thought about me or each other.

"Someone who didn’t consider it necessary to sign the letter would like to meet the Queen." Victor looked at me defiantly.

"Sounds like professionals are at work." I rolled my eyes.

"They could still be dangerous, though." Lucian gave me a quick look without meeting my eyes.

"It could even be a smart move to make us feel safe." Lea ignored the hate-filled looks in his direction with an ease that only years of experience could bring.

"Wouldn’t it be wiser to just sign the letter with a name?" I asked, stepping aside to make room for Takumi so that he could draw the Circle.

"Not necessarily."

"Do you know what's going on?" Anakleto hissed angrily without even glancing at Lea.

"No." Lea's hand was on his right forearm. "But it would be a good tactic."

“Okay to sum up, it’s either professionals disguised as amateurs or amateurs disguised as professionals. Or just stupid idiots who have forgotten to sign. Everybody ready?”

"Is it smart to take him with you?" Anakleto pointed to Lea without looking at him, but his voice contained enough revulsion for all of us.

"As long as you don’t plan to kill him, it's very smart."

"Cass, you don’t know what he did!" Anakleto stared at me and I could see all his hate and despair. It wasn’t that different from Lea’s look.

"Do you know what I've done? Or Victor? Or Lucian? No one here is innocent."

"He has murdered, tortured and maimed in the name of the King’s Front..."

"Yes." Lea looked at him coldly. "I’ve done that. And now I offer my services to the Queen."

"The Queen would never..."

"Anakleto."

His head twitched toward me.

"What has he done?"

Anakleto's hands were trembling. His hair changed from a bright brown to a deep black. "My sister..." His eyes flickered to Lea, who made no sound. "He has slaughtered her because she refused to follow Benedict."

Lea closed his eyes and breathed out. I knew this attitude.

Anakleto jumped forward and hit him.

"Anakleto!" Lucian tried to grab him, but I dragged him back. Lea was able to defend himself against an emotionally disturbed Wechselbalg, and if he did decide to not do so, it was exactly that: his decision.

Lea parried the next blow, but he didn’t hit back.

"Cass stop that!"

"What good would that do?" I leaned against a pillar and followed the fight with my eyes. Sometimes frustration had to be punched out of the system.

"You're the Queen, you have to do something!" Lucian burst out furiously.

"Shall I condemn Lea to death for something I've done? Shall I condemn Anakleto because he wants to avenge his sister?"

"You're the Queen!" Lucian shouted at me.

"Lea lets Anakleto vent his anger." Victor watched uninterested as Anakleto tried to hurt Lea without taking full advantage of his inhuman speed and showing no signs of his poisons.

I watched the rage of Anakleto, watched him hit the murderer of his sister without inflicting real damage. Neither of them had pulled a weapon yet.

"That’s enough." I leapt forward after a few minutes of fighting and stepped between them, facing Anakleto and protecting Lea. It startled me for just a second that I didn’t feel the need to protect my back from him.

Anakleto stared at me angrily. But behind his anger lay the grief and despair.

"Why don’t you condemn him?" He shouted at me.

"Do you wish a prosecution?"

Anakleto breathed heavily, more of his restraint than the effort of the fight.

"Why didn’t you hurt him?"

"He has..."

"I'm talking about you!" I grabbed his right fist and held it to his face. "You could have hurt him if you had wanted to. You might have tried to kill him, but you didn’t. Why didn’t you?"

Anakleto stared at his fist as though he didn’t know why they hadn’t tried to strangle Lea to death.

"Did you kill his sister?" My look was still on Anakleto, but my question was directed to Lea, whose hot breath prickled my neck. Heat radiated from him, just not enough to hurt.

"Yes." Lea's voice was emotionless; there was no defence in his voice, no excuse. Nothing at all.

"Why?"

"It was my order."

Anakleto shrank back, pain stricken.

"When did you first kill?"

It took a moment until Lea broke the silence again. "I was eleven."

"Who?"

"One of my teachers."

"Why?"

"It was my order."

Anakleto closed his eyes and turned away. I let go of his hand.

"Do you know when I first killed?"

Anakleto shook his head.

"When I was seven. My first assignment. The Paien was already tamed and my father gave me the knife, while my grandmother explained to me that it was a great honour." I ignored the burning, ignored the wheezing of the others and stared at Anakleto's trembling hands. "I understand if you won’t go with us."

"No." He turned to me, his eyes grey and empty. "I will serve the Queen."

"As will Lea." I stared at him. "Can you live with that?"

Anakleto's gaze wandered over my shoulder to Lea and hung there a long moment. "We will see."

"Perfect. Until then nobody is going to be killed." I turned around. Lea's face was uninjured, but he had to have some bruises. "Are you okay?"

His gaze was even emptier than Anakleto’s, but he nodded.

"Seven?" Victor looked at me incredulously, horror reflected on his and all the other faces.

I raised an eyebrow. "Do you think a Dragonslayer is born bloodthirsty? We are trained and broken until we make our family _proud_." I turned to Takumi, whose face was even less emotive than usual. Not even the band in his eyes moved.

"We don’t want to let our wannabe murderers wait." I turned to Anakleto. "You don’t have to come with us."

Anakleto glanced at Lea and shook his head. "I won’t leave the Queen alone with him."

"Good luck with that." I tried for a smile. I had a task at hand. Nothing else mattered. Nothing at all.

Victor hesitated. "What family do you belong to?"

I met his gaze before I shook my head. "None."

Victor's eyes were icy, but he accepted the lie for the time being.

The magic spat us out on a meadow. A dense forest began twenty meters ahead of us. Behind us were fields and an old half-decayed barn.

"Protect the Queen." Victor's voice cut through the silence, and the Paien's backs pressed against me as they tried to form a shield around me.

Annoyed, I rolled my eyes. "If we are attacked, we shouldn’t ..."

"Shh!" Hissed Anakleto and I rolled my eyes again.

We waited motionless for an attack. But nothing happened.

"Guys, I..."

"Quiet," Victor hissed, but Lea next to me met my gaze. Either there was no one here, whoever was here didn’t want to attack us but didn’t dare either to step out of their hiding place, or they were waiting for our attack.

I nodded to him and he walked aside so I could step out of the Circle. He stayed right next to me, his attention focused on the forest.

"We followed an invitation here," I shouted to the dark forest.

As the others realized I had left their protective centre they spread out around me. I ignored their piercing glances they threw at me as well as their muttered curses.

"Come out! We won’t harm you!" I tried to sound as convincing as possible, even if we were prepared for a small war.

Nothing stirred in the trees. No one replied. 

"It seems as if nobody is here," Rick breathed and relaxed.

"Someone is here." Lucian's eyes searched the forest. "Why would they call us here otherwise?"

"Maybe they need help?" Rick started, but the eyes of the others made him stop.

"Something's wrong here." Lea moved a little closer to me and squeezed his shoulder against mine. Anakleto took a quick step toward me, but I shook my head briefly. Whoever was here couldn’t know how disunited we really were.

Anakleto gritted his teeth and confined himself to positioning himself right behind me.

"Why were we called here?" I listened for a reaction, but nothing happened.

"I check out the barn," Victor whispered, nodded to Rick and they both left.

"Takumi..."

"On it." He knelt down on the ground and began to draw.

Lucian moved closer to me and stood halfway between the forest and me. "Someone is in the forest, but they aren’t moving. I can’t get a grip on them." If I remembered right, his kind could sense life force or something like that, but it got more difficult the farther he was away. We were fairly far away from the forest, but I knew no one would applaud my idea to step any nearer.

"Maybe they just wanted to take a look at the Queen?" Lea's doubt was too loud in his words to actually take them into consideration.

"Can I help you?" I cried out loudly into the forest.

"Queen." Anakleto's hand closed around my right wrist and I had to concentrate to avoid attacking him.

"You shouldn’t irritate them."

"I..."

"He's right." Lea's gaze slid tirelessly over the edge of the forest. "If they don’t want to attack, we shouldn’t provoke them."

More than his words, I followed his tone, throwing a glance at Victor and Rick, who came back to us quickly.

"Whoever is here hasn’t laid any traps."

"At least not here." Lucian corrected quietly.

I pulled my wrist out of Anakleto’s grasp and crouched on the ground.

"Queen..." Lucian began, but Lea, who had followed my movement, stared at my hand as I stretched it out to write a message into the ground.

"Stop, Cass." He almost hissed silently into my ear.

"I want to know who..."

Lea wanted to grab my hand, but I stopped him.

"If they want to kill me, they'll try again, but if they want our help, they might not."

"Since when..." He hissed back, but I ignored him. I finished the spell, a transformation of the Circle, and hoped silently that it would work. I had read of this kind of use but had never tried it before.

"An emergency call button?" Lea muttered and I could almost hear a smile in his voice.

"Shut up," I hissed back and stood up again.

Lea, who had to be an excellent bodyguard, followed my movement fluently. His shoulder hadn’t left mine for a fraction of a second.

"Into the Circle, my Queen." Lucian pushed me to the Circle and I let him. Anakleto, who also hadn’t left my back for a moment, put a hand on my shoulder. I even resisted the urge to stab him. Now they stood even closer to me, even though the Circle offered more space. I glanced at the forest and thought I saw a movement in one of the trees when the magic snapped us back into the Castle.

"This wasn’t half as exciting as I had hoped."

Ice-cold glances settled on me and my companions gave up their protection and stepped back.

"You're a real softie." Lea's face showed a smile, even if it didn’t reach his eyes.

"Who wanted a holy Queen?" I challenged him and met the glances of the others. "Any complaints?"

No answer.

"Great." I straightened my shoulders and relaxed again. The adrenaline in my blood wasn’t so easy to convince of a peaceful outcome of our trip.

"Are we going to investigate this, or are we waiting for a reaction?" Lucian's gaze snapped to me just before he looked at the others. I was degraded.

"We're waiting." Takumi's eyes lay on me. "The Queen has left a Circle, if..."

"You did what?" Victor hissed coldly at me, but I only shrugged.

"They can only use it to alarm us if they need help." At least I hoped that’s what the spell did.

"Why..." Victor started, but he was interrupted by Anakleto, who had been looking at Lea.

"Step aside."

Lea was still standing next to me, his shoulder no longer touching mine. I felt the warmth that his body radiated, and it didn’t bother me. Whether it was the knowledge of magic, the fact that I knew he wouldn’t kill me, or whether I understood him and his motives and therefore didn’t expect him to kill me in the next moment didn’t really make any difference. He had a goal and would pursue it. He couldn’t break his oath, no matter how dangerous he was. As long as I did my part of the vow, he wouldn’t do me any harm.

"No." Lea's voice was light and almost back to his primary-school-self, but no one would ever believe him again.

"You..." Anakleto started angry, but Lea interrupted him.

"You can hate me and you can try to kill me if you want, but I won’t leave Cass’s side. I serve the Queen and no matter what you think of me and how much you detest me, you know I ..."

"I know you killed my sister!" Anakleto spun around before Lea could finish the sentence. "What keeps you from killing her? It is your mission, after all."

Lea remained silent.

"My Queen," Lucian stood next to Anakleto, glancing at Lea. "You can’t trust him. It would be better if..." He swallowed.

"I would make him another guest?" I asked coolly.

Lucian nodded and I saw Anakleto's desire. My gaze wandered to Takumi, who showed no emotion, and then to Victor.

"It would be safer."

"Do it." Lea's voice was neutral; there was no rage, no joy, just acceptance. "The cells are quite comfortable." The smile seemed relaxed, but I saw the effort behind it.

"Right," I breathed thoughtfully, pulling a dagger out of my sleeve, put it to my throat and pressed it against my flesh as I made a half turn. It was so fast that the part of my brain, which hadn’t yet been affected by the Queen's magic, couldn’t react. I felt the hot blood glide down my throat the moment I met Lea's gaze.

His reaction was even faster than mine. He didn’t wait until I came to a halt. His right hand slapped hard against my elbow as he pulled my legs away and stabilized my head with his left hand. I saw his horror and anger while he let me drop to the ground cautiously and rolled himself over my head. Before one of the others could move even one hand, all still caught in shock, he snatched the dagger from me and threw it behind him.

An icy smile crept on my lips. Not only had he reacted as I had guessed, he had also shown me his true speed. He was fast, damn fast, but not faster than me.

I could hear the knife scratching over the ground as his hands closed around my throat, not to strangle me but to stop the bleeding. Although the former was certainly quite tempting.

"Cass..." He hissed furiously.

His hands, slippery from my blood, slid from my throat as he was torn backwards off of me.

"Victor!" I cried aloud, ignoring the pain and bracing myself up.

Anakleto and Lucian had thrown Lea back. Both wouldn’t hesitate to kill him. Fury flashed over Lea's face. He wouldn’t allow me to do anything to myself.

Victor tore Lucian away and pushed Anakleto back with a sword at his throat as he tried to hold Lea back with a hand on his chest.

Takumi grabbed my shoulder and tore me around, one hand already at my throat.

"A scratch." His voice was toneless. "It's just a scratch."

Lucian cast a desperate look at me as Anakleto glared at Lea, ignoring Victor and his sword.

"Why did you do that?" Lea's voice sounded hard, and it seemed nearly impossible for him not to scream.

"What did you see?" I asked back and my eyes drilled in Anakleto’s.

"A suicidal Queen," he hissed, letting his sword sink to the floor.

"And?" I asked coolly.

The silence spread as no one wanted to answer. The only sound was heavy breathing.

"What did you see, Anakleto?" I asked softly, staring at his cramped shoulders.

"He attacked you."

"What did he do?" I asked mercilessly as Takumi's hands dug painfully into my throat. If I didn’t know that he was a healer and would probably honour his oath to preserve life, I'd worry. Scratch that, I should worry.

Anakleto was silent.

"He has prevented you from hurting yourself," Lucian growled. His rainbow-colored eyes burned into mine. "That wouldn’t have been necessary if you..."

"Locked him in the dungeon?" I pushed Takumi's hand from my throat with force and stood up. "Then I would have to lock myself in the cell next door." I ignored the tingling of blood drops that paved a way down my throat and stared at Anakleto's tense shoulders. "I understand your desire to kill him."

Anakleto turned to me his suffering plain on his face. "Do you?"

"Yes." I met his eyes with a serenity that I had developed through blood and sweat and pain. "But if you want to kill him, you have to kill me first."

"Cass!" Lea stared at me angrily. "What are you doing?"

"Queen, you ..."

"I'm nineteen years old. The first time I killed I was seven. It's not that hard to imagine what I've done in the years between."

Ice-cold silence met me, full of fear, anger and hatred.

"I was made what I am today and have only now decided to fight for myself. At least one of you has personally suffered because of me or my family. I wouldn’t be surprised if it were more than just one."

Victor's hands clenched into fists, and I saw the twitching of the others.

"Lea was also made what he is today and I will not pretend I wouldn’t understand why he acted like he did." My gaze settled again on Anakleto. "I'm sorry what he did to your sister, and I'm sorry what I would have done to her or to each of you if you had been one of my assignments." I swallowed. This soul-striptease cost me more than I wanted to admit. I confessed to Paien – to Unmenschen – and not just my faults, but also my fear. I humbled myself before them deeper than I had ever done before myself, and all this just because of another trained killer.

"I'm sorry for what I let happen when I should have stood up and stopped them. I’m sorry for what I did myself when I should have refused. I'm sorry I needed twelve years to find the courage to flee." I turned around without another word and left. I tried to control the trembling of my hands and breathe calmly, but it took me too much concentration not to scream.

With a trembling movement, I wiped at my throat and felt the blood smearing. Without taking a look at my hand, I wiped it on my jeans and went towards my room. At least there I could wash the blood off.

My hand was already at the door handle when I heard footsteps behind me. I didn’t have to turn around to know who it was.

"What do you want?"

"First, I want to look at your throat." Takumi pushed the door open without waiting for my reaction and pushed me with a hand on my back into my bedroom.

I let myself be led by him to my bed and sat down on it, only to be scrutinised by Lea’s gaze.

I raised an eyebrow questioningly, while Takumi got a wet washcloth from the bathroom.

Lea was silent while Takumi cleaned the wound and put on a light bandage. I hadn’t seriously injured myself, but underestimated the sharpness of my blade.

"Thank you." I crossed my arms and stared at the young men who hadn’t made a single sound.

The silence spread, but I wouldn’t break it first. I had already given up too much of myself and I would take back everything I had said if I could. It didn’t matter to anyone what I had experienced, and I didn’t want their sympathy or their hatred. I didn’t want to know whom I had hurt and I certainly didn’t want a similar situation as Lea.

"Why did you do that?" Lea's voice was calm, controlled, but it was just a good mask to hide his insecurity, panic and rage.

"I have no idea whatsoever. Was that all?"

"It was not wise to share this information." The band in Takumi's eyes moved so fast, it looked as though his pupils flashed.

"Why? Do I now look less sympathetic?"

"Cass..." Lea stared at me. "You hurt yourself for an assassin of the King's Front. It looks as if you are under Benedict's rule."

I let out an angry laugh and stood up. "If that's all they take from my little outburst, I'm..."

"You don’t understand." Lea's hand dug into my upper arm and he stared at me angrily with his volcanic eyes. "You _are_ the law. You can’t just ..."

"Let me go, Lea." My gaze was icy on his and I waited patiently until he pulled back his hand. "I know very well what I've done." My regret was another issue – and had different reasons than he wanted.

"Do you?"

"My Queen." Takumi stood in front of me with his arms crossed, evidently a precautionary measure to stop himself from strangulating me. "The decision was exclusively personal in nature, according to the laws..."

"I should also be sentenced to death. I don’t know Lea's headcount, but I'm sure mine’s higher." I exhaled harshly. "I am just as much an enemy as..."

"Stop it!" Lea turned around jerkily and kicked against one of my chairs, slamming it loudly against the opposite wall before turning his flaming eyes on me again.

"I have committed all these murders and I will take the blame and no one else!"

The door to his back flew open and Anakleto and Lucian rushed in, but Lea paid no attention to them.

"I could have fought back and I wasn’t _trained and broken_ like you. We all saw your scars!" He hissed angrily. "I did it because my brother asked me to and I should have stopped much earlier..."

"Do you think I said that because I wanted to present you an excuse?" I rammed my index finger into his chest. "Do you think I wanted to take the blame from you? You will always be guilty and if you have a scratch of a conscience, this knowledge will kill you a little more every day!" I rammed the finger again into his chest. "It's eating you up and that's why you want to be hated for it! That's why you let Anakleto beat you and that’s why you'd do anything to prevent the war! Do you think I don’t understand that?"

Victor entered the room silently. Lea and I were screaming loud enough that Amalia could probably hear us.

"Do you think I would be still here if I didn’t hope to be able to redeem myself just a little bit before I leave?"

"You're the fucking Queen! You..."

"I'm a Dragonslayer! I am neither the Queen nor a fucking Guardian of Righteousness!"

"Of course, you are! What do you think are the runes on your arms? I am the brother of Benedict! Sooner or later someone will kill me! You..."

"Welcome to the club." I hissed these words so coldly that Lucian and Anakleto stepped back, but Lea didn’t even blink.

"When you are crowned no one will dare to oppose you."

"Then no one will kill you as long as I..."

"But you don’t want to stay. You want to flee." He spit the words at me and I clenched my fists.

"And I'll make many happy with it." I met Victor's gaze and glanced at Anakleto and Lucian.

"This is not true." Victor's voice was rough, as if the words were fighting against his will to get past his lips. "You're not here for a week yet, and you..." He paused for a brief moment. "We've all watched the power of the Queen change you. You are our Queen and you become her a little more every day. There were always followers of the Queen who had a dark past and tried to redeem themselves through their services."

Lea, who had still turned his back on the others, nodded sharply once.

"And the Queen?" I asked softly. As if I didn’t know the answer.

Victor remained silent.

My hands dug into my arms, but even if I pulled my skin from them, it wouldn’t change anything. The runes weren’t tied to my skin, but to my blood.

"I never planned to tell you so..." I broke off, too tired to explain it. "You know now... I promised to take care of the King's Front." I met Lea's gaze and then turned back to Victor, Anakleto and Lucian. "I promised Lea to do everything to prevent the war and bring his brother out alive. Lea has promised..."

Lea turned around without a word, pulled up the right sleeve of his sweater and held it to the others.

"What is that?" Lucian stared at the rune as if he could change its meaning if he stared at it long enough.

"I swore loyalty to the Queen, and my oath was accepted."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading everyone! Tell me what you thought!
> 
> and as always: thank you to my miraculous beta reader and lovely friend Anna :)


	10. Cannon Fodder

I sat on Amalia's bed with my knees pressed against my chest, ignoring her laughter. I had just told her about everything that had happened today, even though I knew she had already received a detailed report from Takumi.

"And then?" She asked with a blissful smile, as if nothing would give her more pleasure than to hear the whole embarrassment again.

Victor had gazed at the rune, then me, and had left the room. Anakleto had looked as if he'd been hit by lightning and Lucian had led him out.

Takumi had studied the rune closely on Lea’s arm for a moment. I hadn’t understood what he was about to do when he knelt before me. His slender fingers had grabbed my hand rather forcefully as he swore his loyalty to me. Without conditions. Without claims. Without hesitating when I tried to stop him.

His solemn oath still sounded in my ear. "I will follow you, Cassandra, Queen of the Paien and Guardian of Righteousness and serve you as long as I live. My life and my faithfulness are yours."

He hadn’t flinched when the rune had burned itself into his arm nor when I had screamed at him. Neither his eyes nor his face had shown any sign of discomfort or concern of being bound to me for the rest of his life. He had listened politely to my cursing before excusing himself to look after Amalia.

It had cost me greatly to not kill him on the spot. Lea hadn’t known what he did – and his oath hung gravely over my head – but Takumi’s quiet acceptance of dependency? His choice of being my subject until one of us snuffed our last breath? It was almost more than I could handle. It was more than I _wanted_ to handle.

I dropped my face on to my arms and groaned. Reliving it in Amalia’s presence was strangely comforting – I recoiled from that thought as soon as it snuck itself in my head. But it didn’t matter. Not really. I had lost this situation days ago, and now damage control was all I had left.

Amalia's laughter, dark and rough, was pleasantly melodic. "Do not worry, I will not swear loyalty to you."

I heard her sink back into the pillows and lifted my eyes. Lines of pain and fatigue were carved into her face. She healed at an incredible speed, but that didn’t help her with the pain.

"Did Lea say anything else?"

I avoided her gaze. "Nothing of importance."

Amalia raised an eyebrow, but I ignored it. I also ignored her using his chosen name.

"Seven." Her voice wasn’t sympathetic or curious but something lurked in the depth of the silence.

I met her eyes defiantly and waited.

"How could your father..."

"My grandmother insisted."

"Why?"

"She thought I was too soft." My voice was empty of all emotion. As was I.

"You were a child."

I had been. It hadn’t made a difference. In fact, it had been the reason, but I wouldn’t tell her that.

With a swift movement, I stood up from her bed and stretched. "You should rest. Do you need anything?"

Amalia's expression was carefully blank. "No. Thank you."

"Well, if you need anything tell the Castle. Castle, please help Amalia and wake me up if she needs something."

The lights flickered twice and I nodded to myself – because I couldn’t have nodded to the Castle, could I. Could I?

"You talk to him as if it is a Paien."

I shrugged carelessly. "It behaves like one." I glanced on last time at her and then pulled the door shut behind me. Takumi hadn’t understated her healing powers.

I ran my hands through my hair and sighed. I could manage three days without sleep and fight for hours without getting tired, but this day just didn’t seem to end.

Tired, I went back to my bedroom, and groaned loudly as I saw Lea lying on my bed. On his face laid the child's smile, even when I saw the tension in his eyes.

"I told you I would wait here for you to answer my questions."

Straightening my back, I went into the bathroom and changed. The cold metal of the two daggers I slipped into the waistband of my trousers touched my bare skin, a somewhat reassuring feeling.

The soft carpet muted my bare feet as I stepped back into the bedroom. Lea lay comfortably on the closer side of the bed. His smile was frozen in place but I couldn’t deal with him right now. If I had a say in the matter, I wouldn’t deal with him at all. There were far more important matters at hand, like finding any information on Cassandra or the magic of the Queen or something to actually stop the King’s Front and the war.

Silently I stepped around the bed, switched the lights off and lay down on the other side of the bed.

"Are you serious, Queen? You ignore me?"

"I don’t care if you're there or not," I replied tired, turning my back to him.

"Really?"

The smallest motion warned me as Lea rolled over to me. His movement was so fast that I hardly had time to put a dagger to his throat.

"I am tired. Stay here if you want to, but keep your mouth shut."

"Why did you protect me?"

I rolled my eyes, took the dagger from his throat and turned on my stomach. I pushed the dagger under the pillow and closed my eyes. Determined to ignore him and his damned questions and sleep.

"Cass..."

I moaned defeated. Lea's voice had changed. Nothing but honesty, worry, and confusion spoke out of it, and no matter how hard I tried to fight it, it was a deadly combination.

I turned to face him and opened my eyes. The little light of the moon, which shone through the windows, made me see only the outline of him. The flames in his eyes weren’t enough to let me see his expression, but I was certain that he was mask-less and vulnerable. What the fuck was happening?

"There were times when I would have wanted someone to stand before me and then there was a time when someone did. I didn’t forget how good it was to not be alone. No matter how much we had to pay for it."

"Is that the one you are looking for?"

"Yes. And now shut up, I want to sleep." I turned my back to him and cuddled deeper into my pillow.

I felt his hesitation, felt his gaze on me as he thought about whether I was aware of the fact that I had almost invited him to spend the night here. After another moment, he came to the only logical conclusion. Of course I knew what I had said. And I knew how good it was to not be alone any longer.

Lea rolled away from me and made himself comfortable. I listened to the rhythm of his breathing until it changed.

I turned to the side and glanced at him. Lea was lying on his stomach, one arm above his head, looking peaceful.

I had to have fallen asleep at some point because I was awakened by the fact that all lights flared to life at the same time. I sat upright, a dagger in my hand, ready to attack, but no one was here except Lea, who also scanned the surrounding for any assault.

"Amalia?" I asked in the dazzling light. It flickered twice. Sighing heavily, I rolled out of bed.

"What?" Lea asked confused and stumbled behind me.

"Something is wrong with Amalia." I pushed the dagger I still clutched in my hand to the other one in my waistband and hurried over the sparsely lit corridor. Lea, who was slowly awakening, followed me.

"Amalia?" I opened the door without knocking.

She lay in her bed, sweat beads on her forehead. A nearly inaudible whine escaping her lips.

I circled the bed in a few strides. "Amalia." My hand touched her cold skin and she jerked awake. Her hand trembled slightly.

"Cass?"

"Are you in pain?" I asked quietly, not commenting on her panic-widened eyes.

"No, I..." She hesitated.

I nodded, without waiting for another explanation. We all had nightmares I assumed. "Can we do something for you?"

She glanced at Lea. "No."

"Wonderful." I ignored her gaze and crawled on her bed to lay beside her.

Lea stood silent for a moment, probably weighing his options, before he pushed me a bit closer to Amalia and lay down on the other side of me. Amalia's bed was only marginally narrower than mine and it was enough room for all three of us. Even if it was rather intimate.

I could feel Amalia's gaze resting on me before she made herself comfortable again. The atmosphere around Amalia chilled my bare skin; it was not enough to make me shiver, but enough to be palpable even under the blanket. The heat from Lea radiated just as strong on my left. As long as I rotated often enough it wouldn’t be too bad I guessed. Goosebumps were spreading over my body and tingled on my skin.

I was too tired to understand what I was doing at that moment and too ignorant to see the danger. To be honest with you, it probably had been already too late for me, but something changed that night permanently. Something rudimentary.

We were woken by the bell of the Castle. The gentle tone seemed to want to hide what new enemies, horrors and suffering it had announced. And for a moment, I was willing to pretend that I hadn’t heard it.

"Cass, you're the Queen. You can’t pretend to sleep."

"Is that your only argument?" I turned my head and glowered angrily at Lea.

"It's the only one I need." The smile on Lea's face was innocent without covering his seriousness. "And we both know that it’s enough to motivate you." The smile broadened and his eyes shone.

I sighed and pressed my face into the pillow. He felt better. Better was all I needed.

I lifted myself up and pushed Lea out of bed with a sharp kick. Instead of falling loudly on the ground, he rolled and stood up elegantly in one motion.

Amalia met my gaze and raised an eyebrow. "I will not come with you."

I rolled my eyes and pushed myself out of the warm and comfortable bed.

"Castle, breakfast for Amalia, please."

I felt the familiar pull as I walked beside Lea towards the entrance hall.

"Who do you think it is this time?" Lea smiled at me as he threw a dagger in the air and caught it after a few twists. His smile was somewhat strained, but I doubted the others would notice it.

I withheld a sigh – why the fuck did I notice or care? "Probably someone who wants to kill me. More than a day without an attack on my life would be too much to ask."

"You tried to kill yourself yesterday."

"If I had really tried it, neither you nor Takumi could have saved me."

"Note to myself: Relieve the Queen of all her weapons."

"You can try.”

Richard, Anakleto and Lucian were already in the entrance hall and none of them seemed happy. What a fucking surprise.

"Good morning." Lea smiled politely at everyone. The unpredictable warrior of yesterday seemed to have disappeared. "What's up?"

"Message from your brother." Anakleto's words trembled with hatred.

Lea froze in his movement. Well, boom goes the dynamite.

"What did he write?" I crossed my arms and ignored the hatred and abhorrence, both of which were irrelevant.

"He wants an audience with the Queen and invites her to join him." Lucian tried to keep his voice neutral, even if he couldn’t banish the freezing cold from it. "I don’t think it is an audience when you invite the person."

"It’s a trap." Lea's hand closed like a vice around my left arm. His hand heated up quickly, burning my skin, or at least he would be soon. Right now, it felt like tiny needles prickling my skin. I met his panic with equanimity.

"Very surprising, it is. I..."

"Cass, you can’t be..."

"Let her go, Leander."

Lea ignored Anakleto and stared at me intently. "If I were to fail, my brother would invite the Queen to a conversation and kill her there." His grip tightened painfully around my upper arm. "He will kill you. You _cannot_ under any circumstances..."

"Others have tried..."

"Cass, please." A despairing undertone mixed with panic in his plea. "He will kill you. You can’t..."

“How could he know that you..."

"If I had wanted to kill you, I would already have done it and would have gone back to him," he hissed angrily. "Either I failed and I am your prisoner, or I was killed! Or I betrayed him and..." Lea broke off. If Benedict thought his little brother had deceived him, he would let him pay for it.

"Or you staged it." Anakleto stared at him viciously, a short sword in his hand.

Richard was staring panicky from one to the other.

"Leander is wearing the rune of the companions. He can do nothing that would hurt the Queen."

"And if he planned it before?" Anakleto snapped at Lucian, who seemed to be dissatisfied with his role.

"The rune would have burned him if that were the case." Victor entered the entrance hall and reached out to Lucian, who was still holding the letter.

"We don’t know for sure!"

"Yes, we do." Takumi stood next to Lea and put his left hand on the spot where the rune had burnt into his forearm. "The rune would have killed him."

Anakleto stared at Takumi, as if he wanted to contradict him but didn’t dare. Takumi looked relaxed and then spoke to Victor. "What does the King's Front want exactly?"

"A meeting with the Queen, in a place and time of their choice." Victor shook his head. "He can’t believe we're stupid enough..."

"Cass is stupid enough." Lea interrupted him coldly. The grip around my arm intensified and I felt the pressure on my bone.

"Let her go, Leander." Takumi looked at him sternly. "You should not break her arm."

Lea's hand slowly faded from my flesh, and I moved my hand to speed up blood circulation. His handprint glowed red on my forearm.

"I didn’t mean to do that." Lea straightened his shoulders and looked at me urgently. "Please Cass, you can’t go there. I wasn’t his only assassin and not the best."

I raised an eyebrow.

"I thought..." Lucian started, but Lea interrupted him.

"It was a legend that should make him ... us ... appear more powerful. I know of four others and wouldn’t be surprised if there were more." His eyes flickered to Anakleto, whose eyes narrowed to slits.

"Did you kill my sister?"

"Would it make a difference? My brother ordered her death."

"Did you kill her?"

Lea met Anakleto's gaze. "Her name wasn’t on my list."

I ignored the tense silence and ran my hand through my hair. "Sooner or later we must meet him, I think..."

"No." Lea stared icily at me. It was rather impressive with the heat swirling around him and the actual lava in his eyes. But he wasn’t the only one to answer.

"If there are more assassins, the danger is too great." Takumi crossed his arms.

I tried to say something but was drowned when everyone present spoke out against the undertaking. I wasn’t concerned, neither by their fear of Benedict nor by their misgivings about the other assassins, but the fact that they were of the same opinion made me listen.

"Okay," I cried so loudly until their discussions died down. "We won’t go. Shall we send him a counter-invitation?"

"Why should we..." Begun Lucian, but Victor interrupted him.

"To show that we aren’t afraid."

I smiled happily. "Castle, I need..." I felt a faint pull at my stomach and held a block and a pencil in my hands. "Perfect, thank you."

"Cass..." Lea cautiously started, but I had already sat down on the floor and scribbled a message on the blank sheet of paper.

 

_Dear King's Front,_

_Your invitation really honours me very much and as soon as I have done all the upcoming tasks, I will gladly return your invitation._

_With respect, Queen Cass, Guardian of Righteousness._

 

For a brief moment, I thought about signing with Queen Kate, but it was foolish enough to have lied once. To provide the King's Front with more ammunition by trying to hide my name wasn’t a good idea.

"Queen Cass?" Victor asked tonelessly.  

I folded the letter together after all had read it and shrugged. "Sooner or later they'll find out." I turned to Takumi. "Can you send this to Benedict?"

"Yes." He took my letter and the one send by the King's Front from Victor and began to mumble.

"Wonderful."

"Where are you going?"

Lea's eyes pierced me, but I just smiled. "Visit our guest, I..." Damn, I forgot to bandage his hand.

"I took care of his hand." Lea seemed to be able to read my expression, how fucking great was that? Not. At. All.

I raised an eyebrow. This was just ridiculous. Not that anything made sense around here, but this? Even if he somehow had bound himself to the Queen, that wouldn’t compel him to care for some prisoner.

"The Queen mustn’t break her word." He smiled. It was only a weak imitation of his child’s smile, but more than I would accomplish in his situation.

"And he didn’t bite you?"

"He tried."

Together with Lea – who didn’t want to leave me alone –, Anakleto – who didn’t want to leave _me_ alone with Lea – and Lucian – who didn’t want to leave _Anakleto_ alone with Lea – we visited our involuntary guest. He was even less cooperative than yesterday. I asked him politely whether he needed anything else, and whether he wanted to tell me something. Lea, who seemed to find the whole thing most amusing, leaned content beside me on the bars, while the two others were staring at me as if I had finally lost my mind.

After a relaxing shower, we met for breakfast. Anakleto stared at Lea as if he was positive Lea would suddenly snap any minute now and slaughter everyone around him. Surprisingly, we all survived – until a new request came, which quickly reduced our survival chances.

"They're asking for help." Richard had brought the note, a page of a lined collage block, and stared uncertainly at the lines. "It is signed by a T.J. Welsh."

"Welsh?" Lea thought. "Never heard of him."

I looked at the others, but no one spoke.

I sighed. "Do you still have to get your weapons, or..."

"Is it wise..." Lucian started carefully, but Rick interrupted him.

"They ask for help!"

"It could be a trap anyway!" Anakleto stared at me, as if he were expecting me to contradict him.

"The Queen cannot hide in her castle just because it could be a trap." Takumi rose gracefully from his chair. "I'll arm myself and draw the Circle." He took the letter from Rick’s hand and left the dining room.

"Well that’s settled then." I stood up, took the last strip of bacon in my hand and wanted to follow Takumi as Victor's hand closed around my wrist.

"It could be the King's Front." He glanced at Lea, who didn’t contradict him. "We must be careful, Queen Cassandra."

"We will." I freed my arm of his grip.

"He's right, Cass." Lea followed me into the hallway and I heard Anakleto and Lucian hurry to follow him.

"I know." I accelerated my step and hissed annoyed. "Of course it could be the King's Front, but..."  

"But what? They could be Paien whom you want to help?" I met his smug smile with cold eyes. Attack was the best defence and I wouldn’t hide in a Castle just because my _companions_ were afraid of a confrontation. Instead of answering his nonsense reasoning, I glanced over my shoulder. Anakleto and Lucian followed us notably. "Do they really think you would kill me now?"

"How could they believe I'm not going to do it?" He whispered back. Repressed rebellion laced his voice, but the only emotion his face showed was acceptance.

"If anybody here is in danger of committing a murder, I am," I hissed trying to control my temper. "Are the other assassins also fire?"

"Two, one water and what the last one is, I have no clue."

"Who would he send next?"

"All of them..." His voice sounded toneless. "If he assumes that you killed the prince..."

"Prince, really?"

He smirked. "Before I became your jester, I was a prince, my Queen."

I laughed. How did he keep doing this?

Armed for at least one or two small wars, we met again in the entrance hall. I wasn’t the only one who carried their weight in weapons.

"Queen, you stand in the middle. Protect her at all costs!" Victor gave everyone a stern look and ignored me completely.

Lea, who was back to back with me, was flanked by Lucian and Anakleto. That would be either very funny or very exhausting.

"Come on." Takumi snapped us into darkness. For a moment, I thought Takumi had brought us to the wrong location. We had landed in the middle of a forest. Evergreen fir trees and bare lawns surrounded us and blocked our view. A good place for an ambush.

I straightened myself and tightened the grip on the two daggers in my hands. The tension in the air was nearly palpable. For a moment, everything was quiet. Screams tore the silence before the first arrow flew.

Takumi tore his hands up and an energy barrier protected us in front, I saw the movement in the air. Behind me I heard a fire wall, felt the heat and how Lucian and Anakleto moved back and pushed themselves beside me.

Pressed between the others I was no help. I wanted to push past Lucian, but he pushed me back.

My gaze slithered to a movement in one of the firs, a pale face stared at me with a mixture of fear and determination. The boy could hardly be older than sixteen, and even though I was deadlier than most adults at sixteen, that didn’t seem to apply to him too.

"STOP!" I shouted so loud that Lucian jerked beside me and took a step back.

Lea's fire wall behind me died and the bombardment also stopped.

"We're here to help!" I declared, ignoring the murmur around me.

"You're armed for a war!" The voice sounded as if the speaker was trying his damn best to sound threatening.

"We have numerous enemies, but if you aren’t one of them, we won’t attack you. You have my word."

"And what is that worth?"

Before I could answer him, Victor stepped forward. He was staring at a point hidden behind evergreen, at which I suspected the speaker to be.

"You speak to the Queen, show respect!"

"Why should I?"

"Because we turn around and go when you don’t." I crossed my arms. "Get out of the bush, I won’t talk to a plant any longer."

Lea's hot back pressed against mine and I felt his silent laughter. At least one of us was having fun.

After a moment of silence, the speaker stepped out of the green. He looked hardly older than me, and had black curls, dark eyes, and a cream-colored face. His skin was a bit too bronze for a human, his movements a bit too fluid. I guessed he was a Paien without an element, with low magic. Paien like Takumi, Victor or Amalia had an aura of power around them, while Lea, Lucian and Anakleto, Paien with special abilities or elements, showed that in their appearance. Most Paien, as well as he, were faster or stronger than humans, had minor talents and magical abilities.

His eyes wandered over my companions and he tried to hide his insecurity. Even though I was nothing special, the others were. Even Rick, the most common in my little Freak Show, was evidently a Paien with element. The rest had to be descended from powerful clans. Their presence alone gave the Queen an aura of power, for if those Paien joined me, others would too. So far, I hadn’t paid much attention to the selection of my freaks, but it made sense that old and powerful families wanted to take part in the Queen's power.

"T.J. Welsh, I suppose?" I took a step forward that Lea followed me without losing touch. The others didn’t touch me, but they were standing close enough to make me claustrophobic.

"Queen Kate." He raised his head higher and tried to look calm and superior, with moderate success.

"Queen Cass, to be exact."

T.J. raised an eyebrow. His demeanour was clearly an act. We all saw the tremor in his hand, the fear in his eyes, but he tried his best to pull it off.

"How can I help you?" I took another step forward, leaving the circle of protectors just enough to appear unafraid without losing their shields. Not that I cared, but I was sure that they wouldn’t allow me to go further away. And we didn’t need to kill each other in front of spectators. Lea on the other hand, still pressed his back to mine. To get rid of him, I would need an experienced exorcist.

"We..."

"We?" I asked with a bright smile. Takumi threw me a warning look, and I saw the controlled hand movement of Victor. They thought I was playing with fire. My favourite game.

"My group..."

"You have a group?" I beamed and pointed to the tree where I had seen the boy's face. "More than him?"

"Yes," growled T.J.

"Where are they?"

"I negotiate with..."

"No." I smiled wider. "Takumi."

Takumi raised an eyebrow, but when I gave no further instructions, he crouched on the ground and began to draw the Circle.

"What are you doing?" T.J. stared at me.

"We are here to help you, not to negotiate with you, and I strictly refuse to speak with people I can’t see." My smile stayed where it was, but my voice wandered under the freezing point. "If you need help, say so. If you have questions, ask them, but don’t believe for a moment that you are in a position to negotiate with me."

T.J. stared wide-eyed at me. What did he expect? That the Queen would listen to him? Lay down her crown, because some adolescents threatened her while hiding behind greenery? Granted they weren’t that much younger than we were, but he couldn’t know that. Even if he were, it wouldn’t matter a damn bit.

"Lucian, how many friends of T.J. are here?"

Lucian glanced at the trees around us, and took a step closer to T.J. "Ten, my Queen."

T.J. flinched and I had to force myself to keep the friendly smile on my lips. No matter what T.J. and his group had planned, they had no idea what they were doing here. It was almost ridiculous.

Takumi stood up and nodded at me.

"Last chance."

T.J. stared at me furiously before he clenched his fists again. "Come out."

Four girls and six boys came out of the trees and bushes. They wore weapons, but none seemed to know how to handle them. All were dressed in black leather, but the different skin and hair colours betrayed that they didn’t come from one family.

My gaze remained on the two youngest, a boy and a girl, who couldn’t be older than fourteen. They had resolute faces, but their eyes spoke of fear.

"How can we help you?" My put-on smile faded and I heard my voice become more empathetic.

"Will you stop the war?" T.J. seemed to be aware of the potential danger. His tone was politer, and I could see his eyes scurrying over my companions.

"I'll try."

T.J.'s face darkened. "You're going to try?"

"I can’t promise that I'll succeed, but I'll do everything I can to prevent the war." I looked at him seriously. "What is this?"

"We've waited long enough." He stared at me resolutely. "Our parents are pushed around, but we won’t take it! We will fight and..."

"That’s why you attacked the Queen?" Victor asked coldly.

"We wanted to know if the Queen could fight."

"Because you think you could take on the King's Front?" I asked, shaking my head. "You aren’t warriors and if you are..."

"We can fight!"

"Can you?" I stepped forward without loosening the burdock on my back and whispered, "Not even together would you have a chance against one of us. War is not a game."

"I know that," T.J. hissed furiously.

"Do you?" I jumped forward and shoved him to the ground. My dagger lay at his throat before he hit the ground.

Lea stood above me. Heat waves washed over my back as a warning. He was not amused.

With my free hand, I dragged T.J. up and pushed the dagger back up my sleeve. I turned and looked at the others, who were held back at blades point by my companions.

"Your courage and your determination are admirable, but you are not trained and not ready to fight in this war."

"We won’t stand idly aside." T.J. had found his voice again, even if it shook slightly.

I turned and faced him again. "Then you’ll die.”

"We want to help you!"

"I don’t need cannon fodder."

"What do you think you..."  

I interrupted his angry screaming coldly. "I just proved it to you." With a quick movement, I tore out two daggers and turned on Lea, who jumped back and dodged my daggers with a short-sword. The swing snatched one of the daggers out of my hands and I ducked under his blow, before I punched out my free hand to break a rib. He blocked my blow and swung the short sword as I dived back and threw the dagger. He blocked the blade with the sword and stopped the sharp edge millimetres before it connected with my neck when I didn’t defend myself.

I turned back to T.J. and raised an eyebrow. "You have no chance."

T.J. and the others stared at me speechless. It hadn’t even been a good show fight, but it was enough to show them their inability.

"We want to help!" One of the girls next to T.J. demanded and stared at me resolved. "Let us help you, Queen."

"If you really want to help, train. When you are ready, come to me. But I won’t risk your lives if you have no chance of survival."

The girl raised to an answer, but T.J. interrupted her. "Is that your last word?"

I looked at him firmly. "As I said, your courage is admirable, but you have no chance in this war. If I concentrate on preventing it, I won’t have time for a rescue mission, if you were stupid enough to go on your own.” My expression softened. “I’ll do my best to prevent this war from happening. If I should fail you still have the opportunity to try it yourself.”

"Queen." Victor hissed at me, stepping closer and glaring at me.

"Was that all, or can I do something else?"

"Do you promise?" The boy, whose face I had first seen, looked at me challengingly.

"I promise I'll do everything I can." I smiled. A heavy feeling settled into my stomach, but I kept the smile in place.

He nodded gravely. "I'll train and will come to the castle as soon as I’m ready."

"I'm already looking forward to it." I threw T.J. a sharp look. "Take good care of your group."

He nodded hard once. He didn’t like me, understandably, but I had given him something to think about. I could only hope he had understood that they wouldn’t stand a chance in a real battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	11. Two with One Stroke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The others want Cass to be officially crowned and it goes downhill from there

"Was it really necessary to reject them so harshly?" Rick looked at me, abashed.

We had just returned to the Castle and the others were looking at me questioningly. I was getting fairly good traveling via Circle, but now and then it still took a little time to convince my rebellious stomach to shut the fuck up.

"We need supporters and..."

"Lucian, they would have been nothing more than running targets, and I can’t imagine the holy Queen would use kids as..."

"We could have trained them." Anakleto didn’t take his eyes off Lea, who was right next to me.

"Sure, in _all_ that free time we have," I snapped annoyed.

"Part of this free time we should focus on planning show fights. Not that I'm not looking forward to being nearly killed by you, my Queen, and in a potentially dangerous situation nonetheless, but..."

"That wasn’t a real attack, Lea, and you know that. Don’t overreact.”

"You're right, Cass. If a Dragonslayer is attacking me, who by the way nearly got me beheaded because she decided to harm herself, I really should be more relaxed." His words were mitigated by the silent humour in his eyes.

"Whatever. I’ll visit our guest."

"I'll come with you." Lea wrapped an arm around my shoulders and ignored my groaning. "Anakleto, Lucian, are you coming with us?" He beamed at both as a pre-schooler would who planned an excursion with his best friends.

Anakleto stared at him coldly. "See you at dinner."

Lucian gave him a questioning look, but nodded.

"I will look after the prisoner's hand."

"Takumi, the Queen has no prisoners, only involuntary guests!" Lea sing-songed happily as he dragged me along, following Takumi to the _guestrooms_.

"Anakleto seems..."

Lea snorted. "I think he's mad at you and hopes I'll get you killed or at least seriously injured so that he can finish me."

"Perfidious plan." I caught Takumi's eye and raised an eyebrow. "Are you mad at me too?"

"I would never presume to question the Queen's decisions." He turned around at the foot of the stairs, forcing Lea and me to stop. Even if he was standing two steps below, he managed to make me feel small.

"You still have to learn a lot Cass, especially how to talk to frightened Paien. It was right not to involve them in the fighting, but not the way you told them." He turned on his heels and walked down the corridor.

I followed his smooth steps to the small table, keeping a scrutinizing eye on him. He didn’t seem to notice as he wrote his name in the book and went ahead to Chem’s cell.

"He's right." Lea filled all the other columns in the book, but instead of my name he drew a small crown.

"It was the fastest way to..."

"You must learn to find diplomatic ways."

I looked in his serious face and sighed. I wasn’t quite sure why, but not only did I know they might have a point, I actually wished… that I had been nicer? I swallowed a growl. It didn’t matter if their feelings were hurt as long as they got the message. What did I care if some teens thought I was rude? What did I care if my _friends_ thought I was an asshole? I am a sarcastic asshole and if that doesn’t please you, you can go to fucking hell. But still.

"Takumi's speeches are much more impressive."

"We can’t all descend from such an old and venerable family as our Tak-Tak."

"Repeat that to his face."

Lea's smile widened. "Thank you, I want to live," he whispered as he followed me into the ‘dungeon’.

"Coward," I murmured to him and leaned against the cold stonewall opposite of the cell. Takumi sat beside Chem and examined his bandages. Chem's eyes kept scurrying to the open door, but he didn’t provide any counter-defence, and answered each of Takumi's questions with a nod or a head shake. As soon as I had a couple of minutes of spare time, I had to find out more about the races of the others, their abilities and their power conditions.

Takumi closed the door behind him and nodded at me. "I'm going to Amalia, my Queen."

I nodded graciously at him. Chem’s red glowing pupils lay uncertainly on me, as if he tried his hardest to figure me out. His gaze wandered to Lea and back to me again, as if that would help him.

I pushed myself off of the cold wall and leaned on the bars, seemingly lost in thought, and wrapped a strand of my hair around my index finger. It seemed as if I admired the deep lilac glow. Lea remained leaning against the stonewall with loosely folded arms, watching Chem. We hadn’t planned this. We didn’t need to.

"Why would you want to kill me, Chem?" I let the strands of hair slide through my fingers and turned to look at him. He was still sitting on the edge of his bed, hands clenched into tight fists.

"The Queen must..."

"Why would _you_ want to kill me?" I forced myself to show as much insecurity as I could muster.

Chem’s shoulders tensed, but he held my gaze. "We lived without a Queen for centuries, we don’t need one."

"Did Benedict say that?"

For a moment, he looked confused. "We don’t belong to the murderers of the King's Front," He spat at me, his voice rising.

"You haven’t been particularly harmless to me," I told him, ignoring his protest. "So you think you could stop the King's Front..." I left the question open.

Chem glared angrily at me, but refused to answer.

"Why did you attack me, Chem? You aren’t a trained assassin. Why were you sent?"

"I volunteered." He squeezed the words through his teeth.

"Why?"

He stared at me irated, his hands clawing at the mattress. Even if his heat couldn’t hurt us, I felt the temperature rising.

"Could it be that there was no one else to do it?" Lea's words were gentle and understanding.

Chem's gaze wandered to him, but he showed neither refusal nor consent.

"Who do you belong to?"

"No one." The answer came too fast and too loud. Chem’s hands clutched deeper into the mattress. The only reason why the bed wasn’t burning was surely the magic of the Castle.

“Your family wanted to kill me, even though they don’t even know me?" I asked, tilting my head, not believing that he thought I was swallowing his lie. But for the time being, I wouldn’t contradict him.

"You... The Queen..."

"Her name is Cass. She is nineteen." Lea pushed away from the wall and stood next to me. "The girl that almost died is called Amalia." He crossed his arms again.

"That... she... She’s a follower of the Queen and..."

"Is that why she deserves death?" I clasped the bars with my hands. "Why, Chem?"

He stood up jerkily and turned his back on us. A quick look at Lea assured me that he had the same idea as me. Chem wasn’t a fanatical follower. Presumably he had understood the Queen as a danger and had responded to this threat. It wouldn’t cost us much more time to grasp his moral code and use it against him.

"Do you need anything else?"

Chem’s shoulders stiffened.

"See you tomorrow."

He didn’t answer, but I saw the trembling that ran along his body.

I followed Lea out of the dungeons and waited until I heard the heavy door close behind me.

"This will be easier than I thought."

"Probably."

I raised an eyebrow and met Leah's thoughtful gaze.

"Just because he doesn’t belong to the King's Front doesn’t mean he can’t be dangerous."

"You really believe that's all an act?"

"No, but..." He pushed a hand through his hair. "It doesn’t seem right to me."

"Do you mean the death threats, the attacks or..."

"And you're pretending I wouldn’t take anything serious," He grumbled as he followed me up the stairs.

"Why do you think you know what’s right, Lea?" I grabbed his hand before I knew what I was doing and let it go as if he had burned me. I saw the laughter flicker over his face and ignored it.

"I would be more surprised if nobody tried to kill me..."

"Yes, we know, you are a warrior, born in the darkest depths of hell, forged by..."

I punched him hard in the side and suppressed a laugh. Lea, though drawn, had survived his life better than I could have. If I was honest, he seemed to have done better than I did with help.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

After a long afternoon in my study, I tried to learn more about the surrounding Unmenschen, Cassandra and the magic of the Castle while Lea studied the rune books. He still believed he could predict the future with the help of the runes. Then we met the others in the dining room.

"This time no junk food," Takumi ordered, and whether it was his natural aura of authority, or the rune on his arm making a connection to the Castle, it obeyed him. Various salads and dishes based on vegetables appeared.

"Castle..." I grumbled, feeling laughter in the magic that connected me so thoroughly to this _funny_ piece of stone.

"Why is it listening to Takumi and not to me?" Lea crossed his arms. I ignored him.

"How is Amalia?"

"Better." Takumi invited himself to a plate that looked suspiciously like kale.

I tried a potato dish and a green salad. It wasn’t half bad.

"Should we really worry about our food?" Victor gave me a quick look before he looked at Takumi. "I hardly believe that we live long enough to..."

"In case someone manages to live, we should not minimize his or her chances of survival any further." Takumi met his gaze with indifferent consequence.

"What are we doing now?" Lucian looked at me questioningly. "We can’t always respond to requests, we have to become more proactive."

"The Coronation of the Queen..." Victor began, but I interrupted him.

"What exactly does that mean? I thought the Nymph had crowned me when... "

"The Nymph has only determined if you are worthy of the crown." Lea seemed to have forgiven the Castle and filled his plate a second time. "You’ll be crowned with a little more audience."

"Lovely." Exactly what I wanted. "And who will crown me? My predecessor is not available." When I received no reply, I looked up from my plate and met the dogged faces.

"You don’t know?" I turned to Lea. "I thought you knew everything?"

"The last coronation took place over two hundred years ago, presumably by her mother. I have no idea who could crown you. Or where the crown is for that matter."

"We'll get a crown." I said dismissively, eyeing a dish of green beans and corn.

"That won’t do. We need the crown of the Queen." Victor's gaze drifted into mine and a shiver formed on my neck.

"Don’t tell me it's a magical crown..." I started derogatorily.

"You're living in a Castle that can read your mind," Takumi answered coolly, but I shook my head vehemently, ignoring his sarcasm.

"I will _not_ wear a magical crown!" Not that I would wear any crown, or intended to wear it for a long time at least. Wait. Would I let myself be crowned?

"Relax, we have to find it first. Besides, I believe that it has only symbolic power."

Victor nodded. "I have never heard of the crown possessing magical powers, or that the Queen had worn it excessively."

"Then we could use any crown..."

"It's not that easy." Victor looked at me punishingly. "You should know better. Even if the crown is not magical, there will be a reason why it was inherited from one Queen to the next. Besides, we do not know the incantation for the coronation."

"Vicky's right." Lea ignored Victor's furious glare. "Through the coronation your whole power shall be awakened and for..."

"What does that mean?" Anakleto had anticipated me, even if I would have formulated the question a little differently. A magical castle that could read my mind, I could live with, but a magical coronation and an incantation to free my true power? No. I had my limits.

Lea glanced at me quickly before answering Anakleto with a suspiciously polite attitude. "I suspect there is a reason why nobody will go against the Queen after she has been crowned."

Silence filled the dining room. They wanted to equip a Dragonslayer with even more power? No wonder so many people tried to kill me before I was crowned.

"But no one knows what that means?" I asked coldly into the silence. "Seems as if we should get it over as fast as possible. I mean, what could go wrong?"

"Cass..." Lea started, but I interrupted him harshly.

"I won’t be crowned before I know what that means."

"It won’t hurt the Queen." Takumi looked at me neutrally. "The coronation..."

"I'm not afraid for the Queen, but for me." I stood up jerkily. "I will..."

"You have no choice." Victor crossed his arms, his expression cold. "If you want to live..."

"I'll decide that the moment I know what this incantation..."

"Cass!" Lea grabbed my arm and tried to drag me back into my chair, but instead of following the movement, I tore my arm back and freed myself from his grip.

"I won’t give up my freedom." I stared at him belligerent. "I won’t be the slave of an incantation of which I know nothing about!"

"You wouldn’t..."

"Prove it to me, or get crowned yourself, but under no circumstances..."

"Cass." Lucian stood up slowly and raised his hands as if to calm a terrified animal. I felt my pulse throb merciless in my throat.

"You are the Queen and we won’t act against your will."

I tried to get my breathing under control. The shocked eyes of Rick said it all. I hadn’t attacked anyone yet, but I felt the almost painful grip around one of my daggers and forced myself to loosen my fingers. It was nearly impossible, as was clearing my throat.

"I need to look after Amalia." I turned jerkily around and fled the dining room. I heard their voices, heard the accusations, but I didn’t care. My hands were still shaking. My heart was still racing. My lungs constricted and I couldn’t breathe. I pressed my hot forehead against the cold wall, forcing my entire body back under control.

Never again. I would never go back into a situation where I was unfree. Never again would I submit and never again... I suppressed a bitter laugh that fought it’s way up my throat like gurgling blood. I didn’t even believe that myself.

I stood up straight and took a deep breath. Never again.

"What did I miss?" Amalia sat up in her bed and I saw the pain just fleetingly harden her features. Takumi had told her about the meeting with T.J. and his friends. Judging by her question he had probably skipped all details and it was obvious that his retelling – I guessed it had been one sentence – hadn’t pleased her in the least.

I sat cross-legged next to her on the bed, ignoring the tingle on the back of my neck which reminded me that I would have killed her a week ago without second guessing myself. But as it was now, I had slept next to her and started to like her. I ignored the nagging feeling that I already liked her and that I...

I shook my head and told her about the meeting with T.J. in detail, then of our visit to the dungeon, my study-filled afternoon and dinner. All the while questioning my life choices. The only reason I could validate all of this was the fact that Melrose would probably die of shame if she ever found out. Maybe I should write her a letter.

"Do you know something?" I stretched out my legs and tugged on a pillow, mainly to not start throwing daggers.

"A lot, but go on." Amalia's long eyelashes closed once over her unnatural eyes before she tried to plunge me into the infinite depths of her eyes again.

When I didn’t go on, she sighed. "The coronation is the official beginning of the Queen's reign and she gains her full power because of that. I think it is because from that moment on she is the official Guardian, not because she becomes actually more powerful."

Her gaze wandered on and I felt my shoulders relax.

"But it would make sense." She straightened a bit and sighed again. "Takumi has forbidden me to get up, but I am much better."

"You're following his orders?"

"Would you not?" Her colourless lips twisted in a smile. "No, you would not." She leaned back. "I decide carefully which battles I fight, my Queen."

"That sounds like I..."

"You pressed a dagger against your own throat."

"Just to prove a point.”

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked at me. "You are the Queen and you have to be more careful." Her voice was relentless.

I watched her for a moment and then nodded. Amalia needed me and wouldn’t kill me before I had fulfilled my purpose, so I was presumably safe with her. But as long as I didn’t know what that meant, I needed to be careful. In my endless stupidity and – as much as I hated to agree with Melrose – sentimentality, I started to like her. Although I wasn’t sure she didn’t want to kill me. Even if she didn’t want to, why would I like her? I would betray her, Lea, Takumi, and the others, sooner or later, and flee.

"Tell the Castle if you need anything." I pushed myself off of her bed and stood up, stretching my tense muscles.

"You are not sleeping here?" Her voice and facial expressions were blank. I hesitated. Was she kidding? Was she being sarcastic?

"I have my own room, you know." Awkwardly I forced an ironic undertone in my voice and smiled. "But if it’s better for you..." Real concern tried to mix in my facial expressions, but I pushed it away. Even if Amalia wasn’t the enemy – and I didn’t know for sure she wasn’t – she was just a volatile acquaintance. At best.

"I will tell the Castle if I need something. Sleep well, Queen."

I left her room and hesitated. Had Amalia just shown real feelings?

When I arrived in my room, I wished I had stayed with Amalia.

Lea lied on my bed, supported by pillows, one of the numerous books in his hands. As I entered, he looked up. His face was serious and I groaned inside. I didn’t care what lecture he would give me. If not getting crowned would break my oath to him and I was thereby signing my death sentence, so be it. It wouldn’t change my decision.

"I'm sorry." Lea put the book down and stood up. "I'm sorry, Cass."

When I didn’t react, he came a few steps closer. The volcanic eyes, which seemed more familiar to me than they should, looked grave and compassionate. How could glowing lava sources surrounded by charcoal look sympathetic?

"I know what freedom means to you and I won’t allow anyone to crown you before we know it doesn’t restrict you in your freedom. I swear, I won’t allow you to be crowned against your will."

I forced a laugh, but I knew he saw my fear. The spikes of adrenaline surged through me, trying to suffocate me.

"I know you wouldn’t let yourself be crowned. I know you don’t need my help. But you don’t have to do it alone, Cass. I will help you and you won’t be crowned against your will."

Of course, I could take care of myself. It would mean death most certainly and if it was my own. I didn’t need any help to prevent the coronation. Yesterday I told him that he was no longer alone. Today he told me the same. He had sworn it without a condition.

I nodded. "Good."

"Good." Lea nodded and his face relaxed. "By the way, Anakleto and Lucian might burst in here any minute now. They saw me go into your room."

I shrugged and turned away. This whole feeling-bullshit was too much for me. I could handle sarcasm and verbal attacks, but honesty and feelings? There was only one person to whom I confided, and that only very sporadic. This whole conversation-stuff, talking about feelings and shit, couldn’t be healthy.

After a hot shower, I examined the cut at my throat and decided against a bandage. It was no more than a scratch. Lea's handprint on my forearm ached more, even if it was just a slight burn. I left most of my weapons back in the bathroom, only two daggers stuck in the waistband of my pyjamas. The top showed playing puppies and no matter how much I had begged the Castle, it hadn’t given me another top. At least it covered all of my arms.

Lea was lying in bed reading. "Honey would you turn off the light?" His eyes fell on the puppies on my shirt and he grinned. "Very sweet." His gaze moved to my throat and his face darkened for a moment.

"One more word, and I am going to cut you in little pieces. What are you doing here? Don’t you have a room of your own?" I turned off the light next to Lea on a bedside table that had not existed before.

"Tell me that I should go and I’ll go." His smile broadened, but his eyes remained serious. He worried about me. Fuck, that couldn’t be real.

"Do what you want," I growled and laid down.

Lea laughed softly and I heard the rustle as he turned a page.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I was awakened by the banging opening of the bedroom door. With a dagger in my hand and ready to jump, I remained on the bed as my mind caught up with me. Anakleto and Lucian were standing in the door, unarmed, but definitely ready for anything.

"Morning." Lea beamed at them satisfied and loosened his muscles. "How can we help?"

"What is he doing here?" Anakleto stared at me angrily as I slumped back into bed.

"What do you think?" I heard the salacious undertone in Lea's voice and groaned, annoyed, while throwing a pillow at him.

"You're keeping watch?" Lucian asked coldly, ignoring his implication. "Do you think she is in danger?"

"As long as not everyone in this Castle has sworn their allegiance, I think of this as a possibility."

"Lea!" I raised myself jerkily up and glared at him first and then at the others. "I definitely want no more oaths. That is way too dangerous!"

"But..." Anakleto started. I interrupted him by getting up and putting my hands on my hips.

"No."

"That would look so much more impressive without the playing puppies,” Lea commented relaxed. I cursed.

"Queen, we..."

"No." I pushed past them into the bathroom. My toothbrush had hardly touched my lips as the bell rang.

"That just can’t..." I brushed my teeth, pulled on some clothes, which mainly meant that I armed myself and got rid of the puppies, and then followed the others into the entrance hall. Even before I could ask who wanted what of us this time, the castle bell sounded a second time and I saw a letter in the stone basin appearing in a blaze of white flames. Even though I knew theoretically how the magical transmission of mail functioned and Takumi had sent a letter yesterday in the basin, I had never seen a letter arrive. The Dragonslayers would never send letters in this way, and even if I had seen basins more often, I had never tried it. Who should I have written to?

"What does it say?" Victor asked, holding the other letter in his hands.

"Um, someone would like to meet the Queen. _Sincerely Amura_ ," Rick read aloud and looked up.

"And the other inquiry?" I stood between Lea and Anakleto and tied my hair back.

"If they had wanted to make it more obvious, they would have written _trap_ in thick red letters all over the paper." Victor crumpled the letter and looked at me defiantly. "In which trap do you want to fall first?"

"What does the inquiry say?" Lucian folded his arms in front of his chest and glared at him.

"They ask for immediate help because _we and our children are under attack_ ," Victor spat contemptuously.

"Emotional blackmail." I nodded approvingly.

"And if they tell the truth!" Rick stepped forward. "What if...”

"Yes, yes, the Queen has to help." Victor cut him off without sparing him a glance.

"Do we have a choice?"

Takumi ignored me and looked at Lea. "Can it be a trap of the King's Front?"

Lea shrugged. "Could be, but I don’t think so."

Takumi nodded. "Where do you want to go first, my Queen?"

"Queen..." Rick started, but I interrupted him.

"To the rescue of children and puppies."

Lea's lips formed a grin and I rolled my eyes.

While Takumi drew the Circle after he bandaged my throat, I was pushed into the middle of the others. Lea's hot back pressed against mine and whether I wanted it or not, it calmed me.

Takumi tore us into the darkness and it spit us out on a riverbank. We stood on a pebbly beach, on the right flowed a broad river, and on the left rose a slope.

I turned my head to look closer at the embankment as the first arrows rained on us. Rick fell to the ground, screaming in pain. Lucian, Lea and Takumi created barriers in their elements. I felt the heat of the fire wall behind me and saw the rainbow-colored glimmer of Lucian's wall. Where Victor's water and Lea's fire met, hissing steam formed.

"How bad is he hurt?" Victor yelled over the cries of our attackers.

Takumi bent protective over Rick, examining the wound with trained efficiency. "We should hurry." He glanced over my shoulder and I got the message. If your wanna-be-murderers knew what they were doing, he was the next on their list.

A new hail of arrows hit our walls and Lea cursed. "The fire isn’t hot enough to stop their missiles, but when I..." He broke off and I felt his shoulders tighten as he caught another attack. He couldn’t increase the heat without burning us.

I clasped the daggers harder and cursed myself for not having learned any more magic. I was almost unbeatable in close combat, but I was useless in a battle of magic against magic.

I turned and pressed my shoulder against Lea’s. He was in the greatest danger. The arrows had to be acid or poison, but they were based on water. Even if the normal touch with water wasn’t a problem for fire-Paien, water-Paien could seriously harm or kill them with their element. I couldn’t see anything through Lea's wall of fire. I turned to Lucian's wall, as the rainbow veil prevented my view the least.

Up to the knees in the rushing water stood eight Paien, three men and five women in their mid-twenties to their late thirty’s. Their ocean blue eyes were narrowed to slits. Their skin glimmered in a greenish blue and their hair had the colour of kelp.

"Lucian, can I go through your barrier?" I hissed to him and took a step closer to his back. Lea couldn’t follow me without endangering the barrier and I heard his vicious curses.

"What? No!" Lucian hissed back angrily.

"We can’t just defend ourselves! We..."

Takumi stood up and nodded. I caught his eyes, the golden ribbons in his pupils seemed to pulsate.

"I can take over the barrier at short notice. How many enemies do we have?"

"I have eight," hissed Lucian.

"Five." I heard the effort in Lea's voice. This had to end.

"Thirteen, how poetic." I glanced at Victor. Lucian and he would do the biggest damage without hurting us. Anakleto, who was similar to Victor in that he was immune against nearly all acids and poisons, could stay with Rick.

"Lucian, Victor, it has to be done fast. Anakleto stays with Rick and I..."

"No..." Lea pressed, but his barrier broke at that moment.

I jumped around as I heard Lea’s harsh exhale mixed in the sudden stillness of dying flames. Lea’s body hid the ground with a dull sound, blood mixing with the acid still eating into his chest.

"Takumi!" Without hesitation, I threw myself forward and was outside Takumi's barrier before he could build it. In front of me stood five Paien, trained like the eight on the other side, but that didn’t bother me. As I rolled to the side, I threw two daggers and pulled two more. One of the Paien fell with a scream, another groaned.

I came back to my feet and smiled. This was my element; here I felt safe, no matter how likely my death was. I threw myself forward, rolled off another time, and escaped three acid missiles. The next two daggers hit the foremost Paien, a big guy with shoulder-length hair. He was dead before his body touched the ground.

I jumped forward and nearly dodged another acid arrow. It brushed my shoulder and searing pain surged through me. I bit back a scream and threw another dagger that missed its target.

I felt the heat and heard the roar of the flames before I understood the scream and let myself fall flat on the ground.

"Anakleto!" Lea screamed, his voice hoarse and pained. His flames stole the air out of my lungs and set one of the Paien on fire.

As soon as the blazing heat died, I pushed myself up. I smelled burnt hair and didn’t want to know what my braid looked like. The Paien before me had been able to mitigate the fire with his water, but not enough. I jumped forward to pounce on him before he could attack me, but Anakleto pushed me to the ground and threw himself on the Paien.

Anakleto didn’t look as impressive as Amalia or Leander, nor was he as powerful as Takumi or Lucian. But he was fast and his poisons were more lethal than the acids of the water Paien. He pressed the screaming Paien to the ground. His hand dripped acid as he placed it on the Paien’s neck and let it dissolve his flesh. I didn’t wait for the body to stop screaming and twitching.

The two injured Paien stirred behind me, but the last uninjured stepped in my path, glaring aggressively at me. She had raised her hands to fight, ready to hurl her element at me. Her bluish eyes were clouded with rage, and I didn’t need to hear her gargled hiss.

"Give me a reason and I'll kill you," I growled, frustrated. It was meaningless and I knew it. She was too far gone in her rage to be reasoned with right now.

The woman hissed again and formed her attack. I threw myself aside but before I could tackle her, Anakleto leaped at her. I gritted my teeth. This wasn’t the time for a debate about interfering in the fight of another person. I tried to shut out her agonised cry and launched myself at the Paien whom I had struck with one of my first daggers in the side. He held my bloody dagger in one hand and hurled it at me, followed by an acid arrow. I dodged both, even if I could have caught the dagger. It was slippery with his blood and this wasn’t the time to boast. I tore out my short sword, pushed myself off the ground, and rammed it through his chest. Cool blood rushed over my hands and I yanked the sword back, letting the dead body slump to the ground.

Anakleto stepped next to me. Blood dripped from his fingertips, mixing with the acid he used to kill the last of the five attackers.

The silence gave away that the fighting had stopped, and the lack of attacks showed that we were victorious. However it didn’t tell of our losses. Holding on to the callous warrior side of me, I turned.

Takumi had dropped his barrier and squatted beside Lea. Lucian ran towards us and Victor looked for more attackers. I saw four dead bodies in the shallow water. The rest must have been washed away.

"Is everything okay?" Lucian rushed to me and tried to peel me out of my leather jacket, which smouldered still because of the acid and fire.

"Yes." I handed Anakleto the sword and let Lucian remove the jacket. It wasn’t worth fighting over it. The most important thing right now was to remain calm. "It's just a scratch. How are Lea and Rick?"

"We have to hurry." Takumi spoke only slightly louder than usual. For him it was almost a panicked scream.

Without responding to their protests, I began to draw the Circle. I felt the pain in my arm, the acid working its way slowly through my flesh, and ignored it just like Anakleto’s and Lucian's words. The heavy cold spreading in my gut was much worse.

"Lucian, Anakleto, take Rick." Victor grabbed Lea's other side and together with Takumi, held him upright.

I ignored Lea's face colour, the corpses and the surrounding blood, and tore us into darkness.

"Bring Rick to his room, I'll look after him later," ordered Takumi as soon as we had materialized back in the Castle. Together with Victor, he dragged Lea down the hall and I followed them into Lea's room.

"I'm getting my materials." Takumi hurried out of the room and I helped Victor peel Lea out of his jacket and shirt. Beside the great wound on his chest, I saw more traces of acid on his arms and cheek.

"You are hurt."

I ignored Victor and glanced at the door. How was Rick?

"Cass!" Victor grabbed my arm and I started. I wanted to defend myself, but he was right. I had already lost a lot of the feeling in my left arm, which was never a good sign.

"We have to wash the acid off of you!" He said urgently, and dragged me into Lea’s bathroom. I let him.

"Here." He held out a towel, and I clasped it with my right hand as he rinsed the wound with the shower. It burned like hell.

"That should be enough." Victor switched off the shower and I relaxed my tense hand and shuddered. Resuming my breathing was a trick and a half, but I managed.

Back in the bedroom, Takumi leaned over Lea and handed Victor a small bottle from the side table without looking up. "For the Queen's arm."

When did Takumi have time to see my wound? My eyes darted over Lea’s wounds that I could see from this angle. His chest was still moving, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. I stopped my thoughts and focused solely on breathing.

Victor turned to me and dripped the clear liquid on my arm without hesitation. The cool fluid reignited the ache in my arm and I hissed. Relieved for the agonizing pain.

"Bandage her,” Takumi ordered, while leaning over Lea's chest. He began to treat the wound with a similar fluid with swift movements, but his tensed shoulders betrayed his business-like tone. He was worried.

Victor bandaged my arm as I watched Takumi try to appear relaxed while he held Lea’s life in his hands.  

As soon as Victor released my arm, I stepped beside Takumi, who shook his head before I could open my mouth. “You cannot help me, my Queen. If you wish to be of assistance, be so kind as to acquire after Richard.”

I wanted to argue that point, not because I had a hidden talent in healing – I haven’t – but because I refused to acknowledge… The cold weight in my gut spread further by the minute and numbed my whole being. I was helpless and I knew it. Worse, by arguing I would endanger Lea’s life supplementary. Too focused on the building panic, I didn’t even try to fight the sickening worry that froze anything else in me.

I nodded acquiescent and allowed Victor to push me out of Lea's room.

The second I stepped out, I pulled myself together. Whatever it may be what I was feeling, it didn’t matter. Emotions were weaknesses, slowing you down. Whether or not Lea survived wasn’t in my hands nor should it distract me. It shouldn’t matter either way, anyway.

"Are you hurt?" I asked plainly, following the hall to Rick’s room.

Victor shook his head. "They focused on the fire Paien before turning on Anakleto and you."

I nodded noncommittal, not reacting to any attempts of him to speak to me.

Rick's door stood ajar as we neared it. I didn’t bother to knock. He was obviously unconscious, but otherwise he seemed okay. Anakleto and Lucian were standing beside him, looking concerned.

"Cass!" Lucian started, but stopped when he saw my blank expression. "How is Lea?"

"Takumi is working on him." I ignored the pointed look of Anakleto and nodded to Rick. "How is he?"

"Takumi has treated him as best as he could on the shore. He’ll be fine."

"Good." I turned to leave, but Victor stopped me.

"Where are you going?" He asked suspiciously, one hand digging into my shoulder.

"We had two inquiries," I explained, my tone factual.

"Cass!" Anakleto looked as if he wanted to kill me on the spot. "You can’t be serious!"

"I am.”

The cold numbness was better than the arctic worry trying to freeze me in place. I tasted the bitter despair on my tongue, all the while showing nothing other than an empty mask to them. This was the reason I didn’t want to be part of a group even if I could be able to trust someone other than Shane. I didn’t want to be responsible for their lives. For their deaths. It didn’t matter that I didn’t like most of them, I still felt accountable. I would be responsible. It would be my fault. More lives would be taken. More deaths would be on my conscious.

"It's too dangerous." Victor's eyes narrowed to slits and I saw the glow of his pupils.

"Isn’t that the task of your oh so holy Queen? To do the damn call answering of the Paien?"

"Cass..." Lucian said in a suspiciously calming way.

"I'll go anyway." Without any further preamble, I turned. The footsteps and the perturbed whispers behind me meant nothing. I didn’t consider that Takumi and Lea, who had sworn allegiance to me, weren’t coming with us. I also didn’t think about how it would be the perfect opportunity for the three currently following me through the Castle to end the reign of this unwilling Queen before it started.

"I need a new jacket, Castle." Heat surrounded me and I suppressed a shudder as the leather jacket materialized around me and not next to me or in front of me. I quickly went on.

"Cass..." Lucian started, but I ignored him as I pulled the band out of my hair. My left arm was callous and throbbing, but it moved.

I combed through my hair with one hand and felt the burnt strands, thankfully less than I had expected. With fast movements, I braided it anew to hopefully hide the worst remnants of the struggle.

In the entrance hall, I squatted on the floor and began to draw the Circle. Lucian, Anakleto and Victor watched me closely. They had given up persuading me to stay.

"Are you coming?" I knew my normally dark-violet eyes were now black and my face was an expressionless mask. I saw understanding flicker in Victor's eyes but disregarded it.

"Of course." Anakleto answered hotly. Lucian nodded.

Anakleto pressed his back to mine, while Victor stood to my right and Lucian to my left. Even if it was a stupid idea, there was nothing else I could do right now. I took a deep breath and thrust us into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not to worry, everything will be fine-ish... maybe.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	12. Infected with the Queen’s Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes everything goes wrong - and this time it's mostly Cass fault.

We landed in a forest, and for a brief moment I thought T.J. and his friends were foolish enough to call us a second time. However, this was clearly another forest. Thicker tree trunks surrounded us, and dark green moss covered the earth at the small clearing we stood. I could hear birds twittering weird melodies in the distance. This forest was old.

Tension was palpable in the air, even though this was a peaceful place. Too much adrenaline was pumping through our veins, and we waited for the attack, waited for screams and blood and death. We waited, because what else could we expect? What else would happen?

"Queen." The voice sounded relaxed and gentle, yet I winced and felt Victor's hand close painfully around my wrist.

An old man stepped out of the edge of the clearing, upright and still, like one of the trees. His hair was grey and well groomed, as was the beard that hid a large part of his face and facial expressions. Green eyes with the barest hints of grey took us in. His attentive gaze wouldn’t miss much, I was sure.

"We're sorry for the delay." I pushed the dagger inconspicuously back into its sheath and forced a polite smile. "We had another appointment to attend to."

"Oh, I'm sure the Queen is very much in demand. I thank your Majesty for coming to me." He had hesitated for just a second before using the polite title. I didn’t care for such curtesy, but that tiny lapse in displaying obedience could be much more than just uncertainty regarding my age and the appropriate response to my standing.

"Would your Majesty mind following me?" He turned halfway, moving slowly and predictably as he pointed to a path behind him.

"Unfortunately, we have very little time." I gifted him with my most charming smile. "I suppose you're Amura?"

Amura smiled back, but it didn’t reach his speculating eyes and he lowered his head by a fraction. "At your service."

Nope, definitely not. He might not be an enemy, but he most certainly wasn’t at my service. Forcibly I kept the smile in place. "How can I help you?"

"You are the Queen?" Amura asked with just the right amount of tension to provoke a soothing reassurance. At least, in most cases.

"Queen Cass, Guardian of Righteousness." Victor almost snapped. He still clutched my wrist with his left hand, nevertheless his posture demanded respect. Lucian, wo was on my other side, looked again dangerously close to a revenge angel. I didn’t need to look at them to see how much they showed in their features. I felt the pulsing power radiating off of them and Anakleto, who still covered our backs.

Amura's eyes narrowed despite the potentially deadly menace displayed before him. "Queen Cass..."

"It almost seems like destiny that I have the same name, don’t you think?" I answered light heartily, disregarding the threatening glares both of my self-declared bodyguards unquestionably directed at the old man now.

Amura's appeared to not see my companions at all as his face relaxed slightly. "You want to compensate for the fault of your namesake?"

I withheld a barking laugh. This guy had balls. Not sure he was sane, but either way, he didn’t seem to fear death. Unfortunately, as it was, I couldn’t show more weakness as I already had. I was fairly certain Victor and Lucian didn’t need another reason to kill him. The only thing holding them back at the moment was my raised hand. Neither of them radiated heat like Lea or cold like Amalia, but goose bumps covered my arms and back under the leather jacket because of the sheer amount of magic sizzling in the air. The faint glow coming from Lucian was also a fair warning of his enraged temper.

"I'm not here because I think I have to pay a debt." I graced the old man with a predatory smile and saw cautious amazement in his eyes. "I am here to prevent a war."

Amura hesitated as if he just now realised I wasn’t alone and my escort wasn’t happy with him. But I guessed he hadn’t expected to receive straight answers form the Queen. Quite possibly he hadn’t expected for us to actually show up at all.

"Isn’t it better to act out of conviction than out of guilt?" I didn’t feel guilty for the deeds Cassandra had done. Whatever made her abandon the throne and become the first Dragonslayer wasn’t my fault. Neither was what she did afterwards. Even if her only reason was an inheritable streak of madness she passed on to her progeny – and that would explain _so much_ – it wouldn’t place the blame on me. The reason she abandoned the throne wouldn’t be that easy though, because it never was. I probably needed to look into that soon – after killing Lea before he could remind me that he already told me to do that.

Amura bowed his head, whether in consent or to hide his reaction to my words.

"Is there anything else I can do?" Some of the adrenaline pumping through my veins crept into my voice, hardening it. Until now I could hold my annoyance in check, but I wasn’t patient. I certainly wasn’t in the mood to be pestered with stupid questions.

Amura’s shoulders tightened minutely. Even though we barely showed any trace of the previous fight, his attentive eyes would have seen all hints. And in the slight chance he hadn’t noticed anything, the bandage on my throat was a dead give-away that we weren’t all that helpless. Scars and bandages usually meant that the person had at least survived their last fight. The combination of our weapons, the boy’s attitudes and the simple fact that I was the fricking Queen didn’t bode well for anyone who would waste my time. Contrary to etiquette, I had no problem with attacking an old man.

"No." The grey-green eyes probed me for a second. Then he bowed, deeper than before and held the gesture for a moment. "I wish you success in your venture, your Royal Highness."

"Thank you."

"You can go now." Victor's voice was even, but he didn’t partake in our courtesy, nor did any attempt to hide his anger.

Amura pointedly ignored him. He nodded once again towards me before he turned around and disappeared along the path in the forest.

I loosened my tense muscles, ignoring the outcry of my arm, and crouched on the ground to draw the Circle.

"Hurry up." Victor's murmur was barely audible over the rustle of leafs all around us.

I bit back a snide comment and drew while the three others stood around me, watching the trees. It was probably not the smartest decision to get in a fight with him while standing in an unfamiliar forest that felt like old magic. Whatever Amura was – I guessed some kind of Elven/nature Paien – we didn’t know how many there were out here. And I certainly didn’t trust him to not attack us.

The second my feet touched the marble floor of the Castle, Victor grabbed my wrist as he had back in the forest and pulled me with him. Or he tried to at least.

"What do you want?" I tore my hand free from his grip and felt Lucian and Anakleto approaching. It wasn’t a very comforting feeling.

"I want to talk to you." A fine vein throbbed on his temple, fast and hard, betraying his nonchalant tone of voice.

"You could just say that, you know."

His hands clenched into fists before he stepped aside and pointed to the hall leading to the dining room. His blood was still spiked with adrenaline, heightening his temper. His eyes shone darkly with just the slightest hint of the star-like shimmer in his pupils. They showed a barely concealed challenge to refuse his _invitation_.

"Cass ..." Lucian started, but I interrupted him with a quick hand movement.

"Look after Rick. I'll meet you there." I veiled my immediate shock. Why the hell had I given them an order? Worse yet, I fully expected them to follow through. I was well aware that I had grown too used to Lea’s presence, but Lucian and Anakleto? I barely knew them!

Warily, I followed Victor into the dining room. He hadn’t said a word and I wouldn’t break the silence. If he wanted to be all gloomy and dramatic, I wouldn’t interfere. I also wouldn’t add to it if my life depended on it.

"Why?" He turned to face me and the natural blue shimmer wandered over his skin. His eyes shone black in the light of the lamps and fixated themselves hungrily on me. The hunger was new and superseded the thirst for blood. I had seen every time I looked in his eyes.

"Why what?" I asked back, letting my arms hang loosely beside my waist, conveniently near my daggers.

He took yet another step closer. "Everything." Victor tried to hide it, but confusion showed in his every movement. He had no clue how to assess me, but he obviously desperately needed to understand my reasoning. It probably wouldn’t help if I told him, I didn’t reason.

"Why..." He broke off and started again. "Why do you care about Amalia? Why did you risk your life to save her and Leander? Why did you protect the mother and her child? Why..." Pain as well as rage and confusion laced his voice as it grew louder with every word. He had met Dragonslayers and knew exactly what we did – what they normally did.

"Why do you play the Queen and make all these decisions if you hate us and want to escape? Why do you spit on all the laws and traditions, and still, day by day, become the Queen we need?"

Too much truth had passed his lips to answer him with a sarcastic comment. Another one of my many weaknesses. I couldn’t lie if I was confronted with truth. Well, I could have lied. I was almost as good as Lea, but I didn’t want to.  

"I don’t hate you." I stared into the black eyes, focusing on the points of light in them. I tried to hold back what was only mine, but it was futile. "I never hated you. Not after my mother was killed or after my father was torn to pieces in front of my eyes. I never wanted to escape anything other than this world.” I inhaled sharply. “If I have to prevent the war and resolve every single conflict of the Paien so that I don’t have to kill anymore, I will." It didn’t matter that the laws of the Queen forbade me to kill. I’d vowed to myself that I wouldn’t kill anymore, and someday I could honour that vow and _finally_ stop taking lives. It was a good start on my part that I only killed for self-protection these days, but someday I wouldn’t even have to do that anymore.

But I didn’t only fight to protect myself right now, and that was my biggest issue. I fought to protect _them._ It didn’t matter if I liked them or not – and I didn’t. I couldn’t! Lea wasn’t as unimportant as the others, perhaps, but… I barely stopped the growl forming in my throat, trying to strangle me. Whether I liked them or not wasn’t the problem. However, the fact that I felt responsible for them was. Fate or destiny or whatever the fuck had thrown us together and it didn’t matter if they all would try to finish me once they got what they wanted. As long as they didn’t try to kill me, we belonged together – however unwillingly – and I would protect them as my own. I would be damned before one of them died because of me.

"Why? You could flee, turn around and never look back." 

I laughed, hollow and empty. Breathing was a trick and a half. I could barely speak around the barbed lump in my throat. I expected to taste blood on my tongue any minute now. "I've tried running, and it brought me here. I don’t believe I have a chance now, infected with the Queen's magic." Fear and desperation surged through me, but I kept it hidden. Every magic could be broken. So could the Queen’s magic.

 His shoulders tightened and his features tensed. My choice of words didn’t seem to please him. What a fucking shame. Yet these were precisely the words that would convince him of my sincerity. Whether I wanted it or not – whether I had always had all these damned _qualities_ and cursed pacifistic world views – I was infected with the Queen’s magic. They told me time and time again that one week had been enough to change me. Another week and I might not want to flee anymore. The desperation, dread and sheer panic intensified tenfold and it took me all I had to stay where I was. I barely restrained myself from attacking Victor or a nearby wall, to not run until my lungs burned and my muscles gave way. I forced my body to not roll itself into a ball and be consumed by the agony frying every nerve.

I wouldn’t do it. It wouldn’t happen. As long as I hadn’t found Shane, I wouldn’t succumb to the magic of the Queen – no matter how powerful and changing it would be. Neither it nor anybody or anything would ever change that. And as soon as I found him, we would get rid of the magic together. The certainty of it reassured me. There was not a shred of doubt in my mind. Shane had never let me down. We would fight it together and either way, we wouldn’t lose against it.

My attention snapped back to Victor as he moved slightly closer. Shadows of uncertainty glided through his dark eyes. He had seen my panic and hope if only for a moment. He had seen how close I had been to breaking down.

I shook my head and felt the movement continue in my braid. "Ask Lea. I'm not here because I suddenly got a conscience from the magician, I..."

"We've all heard what you said." His face darkened and blanked at the same time, hiding all emotions except for the wariness. It was the same expression he had worn the other day when I had told Anakleto I had first killed when I was seven.

I held his gaze and nodded solemnly. "I am a murderer and almost as good a liar as Lea, and I don’t want to be either of them." I crossed my arms in front of my chest and ignored the throbbing pain. "I haven’t lied once since I've been here." I thought back. I hadn’t told everything I knew and would never do that, but I had never lied. "I don’t care if you hate me and I don’t care why you are here if it isn’t related to my imminent death. I don’t care whether you believe me or not and if you would wish nobler intentions of your holy Queen, but this is who I am."

He held my gaze and seemed to look for signs of lies, of intrigues, of hatred. But when he didn’t appear to find anything, he nodded and looked aside.

I suppressed a shudder and glanced aside as well. "I'm looking after Rick." Without waiting for a reaction, I ran down the hallway and decided quickly to change my destination. Rick and Lea were under Takumi's supervision. They were doing well, at least according to the circumstances.

"Cass!" Lucian and Anakleto had heard me approach and had probably seen me turn around on my heel because they followed me towards the cells now.

"Is there anything new?" I didn’t turn around, but I knew they could catch up without problems.

"Both sleep and heal." Lucian's eyes, rainbow coloured and understanding, brushed mine and I turned away. For Chem, I would play vulnerable and anxious, but my self-appointed bodyguards would see nothing of it. It wasn’t a lie, just self-protection.

"Good." I all but ran downstairs and asked myself why I didn’t feel the same panic with them in my back as I had with Lea. It felt like a long time ago, not merely three days.

Without thinking about it, I wrote our names in the book and ignored the look Anakleto and Lucian gave each other when they thought I wouldn’t see it. They followed me silently to the occupied _guestroom_.

"Hello Chem." I let my voice run free, let it express for the first time in a long, long time all the emotions that swirled in me: anger, exhaustion, confusion and worry.

Chem, who was lying on the bed, jumped up and met us with a determined expression. Instead of copying him, I let myself slip to the floor on the opposite wall and stayed there, with my legs pressed to my chest.

"My Queen!" Lucian dropped down beside me and raised his hands as if to palpate or embrace me.

I lifted my left hand, seemingly too tired for any other reaction, wincing under the pain. My eyes hadn’t left Chem’s for a moment.

Anakleto, who was on my right, glared at Chem as if it was his fault that I was hurt again.

"It was a long day." I laughed cheerlessly, pulling my knees a little closer to my chest. It was an attitude I had given up more than ten years ago. "It's not even noon." I sighed heavily and fixated him. "Would you like to tell me something?"

Lucian's hand, still hovering over my shoulder, gently lowered itself on my forearm and I ignored the tingling of his soft skin on mine. I had gotten rid of the leatherjacket on my way to the cells to be able to present the bandage on my arm.

"I don’t know..." Chem started and stopped.

"I'm too tired..." I broke off and leaned my forehead on my arms, which were laying crossed over my knees. I exhaled deeply. This was a show, a show for Chem and nothing more. I looked up again, exhausted. "I'm sorry we killed your... friends." I really was sorry, even if it didn’t change what I did today or what I would do tomorrow to save my life or the other’s.

Chem looked shocked. His eyes flickering from my collapsed posture to Lucian, who had to look as if he was supporting me, and Anakleto, who was standing over us like a guard.

"What happened?" Chem bit his lip, but that little spark of sympathy had crept over his lips before he could stop it.

"We were called. The inquiry said that children were in danger!" I gave my voice a desperate undertone, the first feigned emotion. "When we arrived, hell broke loose." I paused. "Lea and Rick were hurt and..."

Chem's eyes twitched to my bandage and back again to my eyes.

"I don’t understand why they hate me." The despair behind these words was also an act; I had resigned myself with hate a long time ago.

Chem stared at me silently, but I hadn’t assumed that I could actually provoke a reaction. Not yet at least.

I tried to push myself up, and Lucian, who had been waiting for it, helped me carefully to my feet. I leaned heavily on him and swayed slightly while Anakleto went ahead and opened the door into the hallway.

I felt Chem’s eyes on at me as I dragged my feet and let Lucian half carry me. Anakleto, who had turned around, saw my smile. His face became a mask of calm. He closed the door behind us and I pulled away from Lucian's grip and took two steps to the side. With a quick movement, I rubbed my face and smiled at them before I caught myself.

"Are you okay?" Anakleto's voice was hard, just like his face, but he couldn’t hide the worry anyway. Lucian didn’t even try.

"Of course, I'm okay. I..."

"We heard what you said to Victor." Lucian looked guilty, and I couldn’t resist a grin. I should be worried because I hadn’t heard them. If two monsters could follow me silently and unnoticed I was in great danger but I knew they had done it to protect me. Did I really know that? I forced myself under control again. I didn’t know if they wanted to protect me, and I had to be worried. It was just the adrenaline paired with the unhappy emotions.

"And?" I asked, more challenging than needed and crossed my arms in front of my chest. I saw the two of them glide their gazes over the runes that slowly crawled over my arms, before they answered.

"You just lied," Anakleto answered harshly.

"To be precise, I haven’t," I replied his cold look. "I haven’t lied to any of you. And I won’t." There was more determination and conviction in this statement than necessary – or sensible. I would betray them and flee, and that was worse than lying to them.

"Lying is too complicated." I shrugged my shoulders to relativize my previous statement, even though I was sure they wouldn’t be deceived. "I could never remember all the details."

"You don’t like to lie." Lucian looked at me with a mixture of scientific interest and wonder, as if I were an exotic animal. Or a bloodthirsty Dragonslayer who turned into a Guardian of Righteousness.

I jerked away from them and started to walk down the hall. "You’re right. I hate it." I almost ran up the stairs and it didn’t soothe me that I heard them behind me this time, following me.

Before Rick's door, I looked at them once more. "Rest yourselves." I slipped through the door and closed it behind me before I turned to Rick.

"How are you..."

"My Queen!" Rick, who had been lying in bed, jumped into a sitting position and seemed to want to get up, but I stopped him.

"Stay in bed, you're hurt!"

Rick's eyes twitched to the bandage on my arm and I saw the flames in them flicker higher for a moment.

"This is nothing." I hid the bandage under my hand and sat down at the foot of his bed. It was narrower than mine and an excellent excuse to not get any closer. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." He looked at his hands, with which he maltreated the blanket. "I'm sorry," he said miserably. "I put you all in danger and you were injured and..."

"It wasn’t your fault," I said, trying to appease him, but he shook his head angrily.

"If I were stronger, if I could fight better, they couldn’t have hurt me and..."

"Lea and I are excellent fighters and we also got hurt."

"Because I..." He shook his head again and then stared at me resolutely. "I'll train! I'll train until I'm worthy enough to be a Queen's companion, and then I'll take my oath."

I suppressed the shudder that was going down my back. "This is not..."

"I will do everything to become as strong as the others. I know that will be hard work, but it is my honour to... " He stalled and resumed. "I will prove myself worthy!"

"It can never hurt to train." I forced myself to smile and stood up. "I still have to go to Lea. Rest."

"Yes, my Queen." He beamed at me.

I forced me to keep the grimace to myself and closed his door behind me.

"Is everything okay?" Lucian and Anakleto had been waiting outside the door and looked at me worriedly.

I nodded, undetermined. Ignoring the look of concern in Lucian’s eyes, I reached out to Lea’s door as it appeared to open on its own accord and revealed Takumi.

"Leander is resting." He stepped out of the room and contemporaneously forced me back. Almost noiselessly, he closed the door behind him and then crossed his arms in front of his chest. It was the only sign of his anger aside from the fast and jagged twirling gold ribbons in his pupils. And boy was he furious. I almost felt the tension as he forced his self-control to keep himself in place and prevent himself from attacking me.

"What did I do, Takumi?" I was too tired for any games.

"You do not know?" His voice, gentle and melodic, cut the air like a blade. There was no doubt in my mind that he could draw blood like this if he intended to harm.

Anakleto and Lucian, who had kept their distance, stepped next to me in an almost protecting manner.

"The second inquiry..."

"Required no immediate response." Takumi's hands clenched to fists, and I saw the effort behind the movement. It seemed as if an all-consuming temper lay latent behind his self-control.

"You could have died."

"I..."

"You put the others in danger."

"Takumi!" Anakleto looked at him, aghast.

I painstakingly loosened the clenched hands and tried to appear relaxed. "It is my business what I do with my life, and they haven’t been forced to accompany me."

"You are the Queen. We will always follow you." His voice got even sharper, aiming to harm. "Even to death."

I felt my pulse accelerate and tried to calm myself without letting him see how well he could judge and hurt me.

"Nothing happened to us, Takumi." Lucian tried to calm him. “We’re fine.”

"That is not the point." Takumi's eyes pierced me.

"I shouldn’t have exposed any of us to this danger." I pressed through my lips.

Takumi didn’t react, so I seemed to have answered correctly. What a lucky bug I was.

"I won’t be locked in these walls and I don’t want to jeopardize any of you, but I accept that it’s your own decision whether you accompany me or not." I took another step closer and stared into his almost black eyes with the twirling golden ribbons. "I didn’t want the throne, but was placed on it. I wanted to flee, but you kept me here. I decided to prevent this war, but you don’t want me to act. I didn’t want you to take the oath, but you did. Do you see a pattern here? No one will get what they want."

Takumi stared at me, unimpressed. "I want you to act wisely." His hand closed like a vice around my healthy upper arm. "I do not regret having sworn my allegiance to you, Cass. You are my Queen. That is why I cannot accept if you deal so carelessly with your life." He released my arm and stepped aside. "Leander is fine. He will be back to health in about two days."

I heard him open a door behind me and shut it. Probably his room.

My hands were trembling, and I wasn’t sure whether it was anger or the mixture of feelings that tried to shake me and my entire worldview.

I turned around, crossing the hallway and entering Amalia's room without knocking or considering my shadows. Amalia sat on an armchair next to the desk which I hadn’t seen before in her room.

"Come on in." She raised a slender eyebrow before she recognised the look on my face and sat up. "What happened?" The movement, though stiff, seemed to give her no more pain and I was relieved to see her wear make-up again. Without the blood-red lipstick, her silvery skin looked even paler.

"Takumi." I dropped into the chair opposite her. When I touched it, it had changed itself into an armchair.

"The Castle knows what I like." Amalia's red lips formed a smile.

"You spoke to it?"

She shrugged her shoulders and stroked a black curl behind her ear. "You do too."

When she didn’t speak again, I dropped the subject. "You know that Lea and Rick were injured?"

Amalia slid back into the chair and nodded gravely. "How are they?"

"Rick just seems to have a slight injury and Lea... Takumi says he's back up in two days, but..."

"If Takumi says so, that is what will happen." She pierced me with her unnatural gaze. "I am bored, but he has still prescribed me rest because he knows that my body needs another day." She smiled, even if it didn’t soften the harshness of her words. "If he says Lea needs two days, he needs two days."

I didn’t say a word about her confidence in a Paien whom she had only known for a week. Or to her frankness. I wasn’t sure what had happened last week, but they didn’t seem to me as the strangers that they were.

"How is your arm?"

I looked up. "It's just a scratch."

"If it were otherwise, Takumi would not have talked to you like that."

I raised an eyebrow and met her gaze. "Do you think I'm wrong?"

"I do not even know what you are doing." Her gaze wandered over me, and I knew she was thinking about the nights I'd been lying next to her to make sure she was doing well. "But we cannot use a dead Queen as much as a hesitant one." She looked out of the window and I was amazed when she spoke again. "I can understand Takumi. You are the only hope to prevent the war. He believes in you." Her eyes found mine again and pierced me with that unending Darkness. "He has sworn allegiance to you. You have not only put our hope in danger, but made him almost break his oath, because you went without him. "

"His work here was much more important than..."

"The Queen's magic has changed you." Amalia tilted her head slightly, pointing with her chin to the wandering runes on my skin. "Do you think it leaves the rune-bearers unchanged?"

 I stared at her, shocked. Could it be? Were Lea and Takumi, since they got their rune, affected by the magic of the Queen like me?

I kept staring at Amalia in horror, but she was silent and played with a strand of her hair without noticing me. Our silence filled the room and it took me a moment to realize that it wasn’t unpleasant.

I told her about the attack this morning and the visit we paid Amura.

"Queen Cassandra will always be responsible for the failure of her ancestor." She looked at me thoughtfully.

"I was blamed for the sins of my family all my life." I shrugged. "As long as I don’t repeat their mistakes I won’t accept their guilt as mine."

Amalia smiled and I knew that no one would care. Her blood ran in my veins, and I had taken her job and carried her damn name. It made no difference whether I accepted the fault or not. The Paien would always blame me for it.

It was only when no one opened the door after a firm knock on steady wood that Amalia called "Come in," because neither Takumi nor I had ever waited for an invitation.

"Takumi..." Lucian started, but Anakleto interrupted him.

"It's time for dinner."

I nodded. I hadn’t eaten anything today, and I hadn’t drunk anything except tea with Amalia that she had asked of the Castle. Takumi didn’t need to tell me how unhealthy that was; my body took care of it.

"I will come with you." Amalia rose from her chair and I threw a questioning glance at her.

"Takumi forbade me to leave the Castle, not my room." She ignored my grin and followed Anakleto and Lucian towards the dining hall.

My eyes flickered to Lea's door as we passed it. I trusted Takumi that he had treated Lea well – as a healer he had little choice to do otherwise. If Lea got worse he would have told me. Nevertheless, it felt wrong. I had seen to Amalia and to Rick, but not to Lea, who...

I shook my head. He was resting. I didn’t have to watch him do it and if I was hungry or not, the headaches would soon turn into a migraine if I didn’t give my body what it needed.

Dinner went without major incidents. Amalia told Takumi that despite her gratitude she wouldn’t spend another day in her room and I ignored the ensuing discussion.

I forced myself to drink and ate whatever Takumi had ordered the Castle to prepare, even though it was definitely nothing from my memory. It was much too healthy for that.

At the end of the evening I followed Amalia up to my room. I had hardly taken part in discussions and ignored any questions and comments. My thoughts spun like a whirlwind. As soon as a clear thought presented itself, it was torn away, sucked into darkness. It left me with a cold force settling again in my stomach.

Amalia raised an eyebrow as I opened the door to my study.

"Good night." My eyes grazed her and Takumi, who was walking past her. He nodded politely, his iron mask back in check and without showing any of his feelings.

"Good night." Amalia didn’t comment, but she didn’t have to.

I went into my bathroom and changed, this time in some black top and grey sweatpants. There was still Lea's book on the bedside and I took a deep breath.

Without thinking about it, I ran to the opposite wall and activated the secret passageway. In the round room, I went straight to the door with the lily-shaped knob and waited. As expected Takumi stood before Lea's bed, who seemed to be asleep.

Takumi's movements were cautious and slow, as not to arouse Lea. He felt his pulse and waited. I saw the minimal movements in his shoulders and relaxed. Lea was alright, or as alright as he could be right now.

After Takumi left Lea's room, I waited a few minutes and watched the sleeping form of Lea, brown curls spread out on the pillow. His face was neutral, neither relaxed nor tense. I knew this expression. I had seen it on my own face for years.

The secret door opened silently as I stepped into Lea's room. It was very similar to Amalia's room, even if it was less inhabited. No wonder as he was with me most of the time.

I let the secret door slip into the lock and knew without turning around that it merged seamlessly with the wall.

For just a moment I hesitated. Did I want Lea to know about the secret passageways? I took two steps to the side, positioning myself in front of his bedroom door. As I approached the bed, I rustled with my clothes and nearly stomped on the floor to make my approach audible. I hadn’t quite reached the foot of his bed, when Lea woke. His eyes focused on me and I met his gaze of lava with a smile.

The corners of his mouth twitched upwards and he closed his eyes again.

With quick movements, I brushed the boots from my feet and sat next to him on the soft bed.

"Everything okay, Queeny?" He opened his eyes again, and I saw the lines of fatigue and pain on his face.

"Shouldn’t I ask you that?"

"I'm fine." His smile widened, even though his voice was hardly more than a whisper. "Now that my Queen is personally tending to me."

I rolled my eyes and relaxed my shoulders.

"Have I burned you?"

I met his grave gaze. "No."

Lea's gaze lay searchingly on me, as if he were expecting a lie. I saw the effort he had to muster to not close his eyes.

"I didn’t think about it. I..."  

"You were hurt." I shrugged my shoulders and felt a warm smile on my lips. It had formed on its own accord.

"I could have killed you..."

"Sleep, Lea."

"You don’t understand Cass..."

"That the magic of the runes influenced you?" I was just able to stop myself from twitching under my words, but Lea's eyes widened.

"I guess so."

"Was it the magic that made you commit to the unspeakable stupidity of answering the second inquiry alone?" Lea's voice, albeit gentle, didn’t conceal his rage.

"I was hardly..." I started half-heartedly, but Lea interrupted me.

"Takumi and I are the only rune-bearers and he was busy healing me. Amalia, who I at least believe still needs you, couldn’t go with you. In my opinion..."

"I don’t believe that Lucian or Anakleto..."

"But you don’t know. And Victor..."

"Has lost to me once already, I don’t think..."

"I agree with you. You don’t think." No matter how furious he tried to look, his eyes fluttered shut.

"Sleep Lea, nothing happened."

"I know. Takumi would never have spoken to you like that if you were hurt."

I seriously doubted that. And of course, Lea had heard the fight.

Lea closed his eyes and I heard the silent sigh as he finally could give himself to unconsciousness. For a moment I watched his face, looking for pain. When I was sure he had fallen asleep and wasn’t in pain, I pulled a pillow close and crawled under the blanket. Without questioning myself I skidded closer to him, needing the warmth that his body radiated and closed my eyes.

What the hell had I gotten myself into? I focused on Lea's breathing, listened to its steady rhythm, trying to calm my pounding pulse.

It didn’t matter what I wanted to make myself believe. I had always been too soft. I had always valued the lives of others, the lives of Paien. It was a mistake even Melrose couldn’t torture out of me, no matter how much she had tried. I clenched my hands into fists and exhaled silently.

I glanced to my side. The darkness in Lea's room was almost impenetrable, and I could just barely determine the glimmer of his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> And a special thanks to my amazing friend and beta reader Anna!


	13. Nothingness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Paien community is under attack and we learn more about Amalia's powers - and Cass might black out because of it...

Takumi's knocking woke me the second his knuckles touched the wood. Barely one heartbeat later, he opened Lea's door and I forced myself to turn slowly on my back. I gave him a challenging look, as if I wanted to take up the quarrel from yesterday, but Takumi just nodded politely. In his arms, he held a tray with bandages and various ointments.

"Good morning, my Queen."

Lea stirred next to me and opened his eyes.

"How are you, Leander?"

"I'd be better if you didn’t call me Leander."

I relaxed. If that was what Lea wanted to complain about, he couldn’t feel too bad. Even though I could see his hardened facial features and hear the pain in his voice.

"Would you mind if I attended the Queen first?" Takumi's eyes were on Lea, but the tone was clear, he would examine me whether I thought it was necessary or not.

"No." Lea's voice tightened and he looked at me more closely. "What is wrong with her?"

"A scratch." I wanted to drag myself out of bed, but Lea's hand closed around my wrist. It wasn’t enough to hold me back, but I knew that even this movement had to hurt.

"Thank you, Lea." Takumi smiled at him, before he told me to sit on the edge of the bed. Lea let go of me and I followed his instructions with a pointed eye roll.

With cautious movements, Takumi loosened the bandage around my throat. Yesterday I decided not to remove it myself, so I wouldn’t upset Takumi even further.

"The wound is almost healed." He reached for a small can on the tray and stroked a fine film of the white cream on the almost healed cut with a long finger.

I watched the golden ribbon in his eyes. No matter how relaxed his face was, his eyes would always betray his emotions. Following the movements of the ribbons, the scratch on my throat made him very angry. Or I did in general.

"When it's almost healed..." Lea started, but I interrupted him. I didn’t have to hear the mixture of anger and guilt to know that Lea was similarly successful in not developing emotions for other Paien as I was.

"The ointment prevents scarring."

Takumi nodded. He hadn’t treated the scars of the acid on my back with that ointment. Either it couldn’t heal such severe scars, or he wanted to teach me a lesson. But the scar on my throat as a testimony to my own stupidity? Takumi served the Queen and would do everything in his power to consolidate her power. That included apparently to also save me from my own stupidity from time to time.

"Please roll up your sleeve."

I obeyed and freed my left arm of clothing. Lea’s handprint was no more than a slightly reddened shadow on my forearm. I held it in a manner that Lea couldn’t see it. Takumi caught my eye and released the bandage around my upper arm.

"Do you feel any pain?"

“No.”

Takumi's fingers gently touched the wound before brushing a cool ointment over it and applying a light bandage. With a quick movement, he stroked some ointment on my forearm and then turned to Lea.

"Go to breakfast, Cass." Lea smiled at me cheerfully. "This will take a while."

"I can see that." Lea’s torso was completely wrapped up in bandages and I had seen the wounds before Takumi had treated him.

I made a farewell gesture and left Lea's room. The treatment of a wound, especially with healing magic, was an intimate process. One thing you didn’t need while being healed were gapers – not that Lea would show me that courtesy.

I sighed and followed the hallway to my room. I searched for a grey top, a dark grey leather jacket and black jeans, ignoring the coloured tops, jackets, and pants that seemed to pop up out of nowhere around me. I washed up and tamed my hair with a couple of hairpins. Covering the dark circles under my eyes with makeup, I searched my reflection in the bright mirror critically. The wandering runes on my arms I paid little attention to. No one would see them under the leather jacket. I wouldn’t have to deal with them if I didn’t see them. I knew that it was bullshit and that I had to find out everything there was to know about the runes and Cassandra, but – and I don’t care what you think of me because of that – I was afraid. Afraid that the magic could influence me even further if I knew more. Afraid to find out death was the only way to get rid of the Queens magic. Afraid what knowledge would await me. Hiding behind the half-lie that I hadn’t had any time in the last day to research, I tried to bury the feeling of dread.

My eyes wandered over the lilac waterfall that was my hair. It wasn’t badly burned and I had to cut only few strands. My pale face showed traces of the last few days, but considering everything, I looked relaxed and confident. When did that happen? I turned away from my mirror image, pulling the leather jacket on and began to arm myself. It made no sense to go unarmed to breakfast. The fact that we hadn’t had any request so far didn’t mean shit. I ignored the dull pain in my shoulder and had just stashed my last dagger when the ringing of an incoming request resound through the Castle.

Of course, we were called right now. I was already dressed, but hadn’t had breakfast. Typical. Could I issue a decree that inquiries before ten o'clock in the morning were punished by death except for rare emergencies? It sounded rather drastic, but Amura's request for a five-minute conversation that had arrived just after eight seemed to me as a good example for the misuse of an inquiry.

My thoughts were interrupted as Lucian and Anakleto stormed into my bedroom and stopped short, looking shocked as they saw me. I raised an eyebrow questioningly and waited.

"You are here?"

I ignored Anakleto and walked past both. "Have you read the inquiry?"

"No, we came to..."

"To see if I slept in my own bed? If I didn’t know better..."

"Did you?"

"CASS!" Victor's scream ended every discussion and I heard Lucian and Anakleto start running behind me. We slipped into the entrance hall and I managed to stop just before the basin.

Victor's face was a mask of hate and I felt his magic swirl. Without a word, he gave me the letter. In shaky handwriting stood a few words hastily thrown on the burnt sheet of paper. _The King's Front attacked us. We need help._

I raised my gaze and met Victor's black eyes. Anakleto cursed fiercely behind me.

Footsteps approached and I was grateful that it couldn’t be Lea.

"Get your weapons, we..."

"It could be a trap."

All eyes wandered to Lucian who didn’t even seem to believe his words, but he held my gaze nonetheless. "If it's a trap..."

"It makes no difference. We will go."

Lucian's rainbow-coloured eyes darkened, but he seemed to have expected this answer.

"We'll be careful," I said, trying to calm him, but I couldn’t hide the sway as I crouched down to draw the Circle. It seemed to weaken his confidence in me even more than Victor's snorting to my promise. But no one stopped me as I wove the magic with a certain hand.

"I hope you have not planned for me to be left behind."

I looked up and met Amalia's abyss of eyes for a moment. Nothing in her posture spoke of her serious injury. She was dressed in black from head to toe, and even her hands were stuck in black gloves. Only her blood-red lips glowed on her silver face.

"Who doesn’t come on time..."

"You are too kind, Queen."

"Are you armed?"

Amalia raised her slender eyebrow and I rolled my eyes. Of course she was armed. I wasn’t the only one who had learned from my mistakes. Since neither of the others had gone to arm themselves, we all seemed to have learned this lesson. How nice for us.

"Ready." I stood up and ignored the dizziness and throbbing of my shoulder. I had no time for that. Even more than that I wanted to help the Paien. I wanted to see Benedict's work. After the reports of the others, I could imagine what would expect us, but it would only be real to me it if I saw it. If I understood that there were more creatures worse than demons – like Melrose.

"Halt." Takumi's gaze lay icy on me, the golden ribbons in his eyes whirling unstably.

"The King's Front attacked a village," Anakleto growled, and hatred spoke from every word.

"Then they will need a healer." Takumi's eyes wandered back to me and darkened even further. "I will remain in the Castle as long as the Queen has not eaten breakfast.”

I opened my mouth in order to remind Takumi of the oath he had taken as a healer, but he was quicker.

"You are killing yourself, Cass." Takumi's voice, even if quiet, cut through the air. "Do not believe we do not see it."

I stared at him angrily. "It takes more to..."

"Castle." Amalia put a gloved hand on one of the marble columns. "A small buffet here would be good. The Queen needs something to eat."

In front of me appeared tables laden with fruit, the blueberry muffins I liked so much, sandwiches and various juices.

"Without us, you're no help to them and without you we're no help to anyone. So eat." Victor stood next to me, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

Even if they were right – they weren’t – it was never a good idea to force me to do anything against my will.

"Okay, then we'll stay here." I smiled at him. "Day off."

"Cass, please." Lucian looked at me with a mixture of anger and despair. His right hand clasped Anakleto's upper arm, who seemed to be just about to choke me or force me to eat, in a way that could also end in my suffocation.

"We must help them."

"I thought it might be a trap?" I snapped. It didn’t suit me to be pushed into the defensive or be mothered. Hell would freeze over before I let myself be ordered by them.

"If it’s not, we have to help them." Lucian reached for a muffin and pressed it into Anakleto’s trembling hand. "We should all eat something. The last few days have been hard on all of us." He looked uncertainly on me while he took another muffin for himself.

Amalia walked past him, poured herself a glass of orange juice, and took a sandwich with bacon.

Takumi chose a sandwich with cream cheese and tomatoes, Victor a sandwich with cheese. I stared at her angrily for a moment; I didn’t like Lucian to appeal to my logic, or the fact that he had learned how to calm me. It was no longer just Lea who knew how to deal with me to achieve what he wanted. How much longer would it take before our forced cooperation grew? I swallowed an angry growl. Wasn’t it too late for that?

I took a muffin and forced myself to eat it. Without a word, I took the glass with juice Amalia handed me and drank it.

Takumi paused for a moment, probably wondering if he could force me to eat a second muffin or even something healthier, but my gaze taught him better. He was a rune-bearer and would follow the Queen and his task, whether he cursed me for it or not. I wasn’t ready to humiliate myself further.

"Thank you, Castle." My voice was far below the freezing point and the tables and food dissolved into thin air. "Can we go now?"

 Wordlessly I let myself be pushed into the middle of the Circle as Takumi tore us into the darkness.

Screams. Flames. Smoke. Heat. Houses, of which only ruins remained. Houses still burning.

Before our eyes lay a battlefield.

"Protect the Queen." Victor's back pressed against my side and the others pushed back on me, trapping me.

I stared at the running people, tried to tune out the cries of the children and concentrate on the something that was missing. I looked around. Paien were running, crying, screaming, but I saw no weapons, no fights. Opponents, there were no opponents. This wasn’t a fight, wasn’t a battlefield. It was the remains of an attack.

"We have to help them!" I tried to break out of the middle, but Anakleto pushed me back.

"Look around! They are trying to save what can be saved!" I pushed Victor from me with force. "Extinguish the fires!"

Victor glared at me, flames reflecting in his pitch-black eyes. "Amalia..."

"I will not leave her side." Amalia's cold hand closed around my wrist, but I ignored it.

"Get moving!"

Victor and Takumi shot a look at each other before they ran towards the burning houses.

"Cass..."

"Do something!" I shouted at Anakleto and Lucian, who hesitated for a moment, before they followed Victor.

"What can you do?" I gave Amalia a challenging look as I dragged her forwards. Her red lips widened to a dangerous smile.

I nodded once. "Let’s go."

"As my Queen commands." Without letting my wrist go, Amalia took the lead and guided us in front of the village's last house. Or at least the last house I could see through the smoke. The flames struck from all the windows and ate through the stone walls. The heat was indescribable and I pressed my free hand over my mouth and nose so as not to inhale too much of the soot that filled the air. My eyes and throat burned already and I stifled a coughing fit before it could start.

Amalia raised her free hand and closed her eyes. The air pressure itself seemed to change. For a moment I felt her magic, felt the power in her and suppressed a tremor. Fuck.

Amalia opened her eyes, saw that I was looking at her and pushed me brutally to the ground. I didn’t notice. Even though I couldn’t have been exposed to her longer than a heartbeat, I was almost devoured by her magic. What I had previously described as black holes, as abysses, as Nothing, couldn’t be compared to what I had seen in her eyes when she unleashed her power. There are no words and no feelings to describe what I saw. What I felt. What I was doing to escape her magic – even if it had barely touched me.

I raised my eyes, starring at the blazing flames and tried to cling to them. Fire was familiar, controllable, even if this fire had been created by Paien like Lea. Fire that consumed stones and struck flames high as the building itself, and... I stilled. The flames died. I don’t know how to describe it differently, because it was more and more brutal than extinction. The blazing flames became smaller and lost colour. The heat dropped so fast I shivered. Seconds later, the blazing all-consuming fire had disappeared, leaving behind a void in its place.

I forced my eyes to one of the half-consumed stones where one of the last flames had flickered and died and waited for something. A sign of life? I still heard the screams and movements around me. I waited for a sign from Amalia, a sign that I could turn around because the power was sealed in her once again. I waited for a sign that instead of the all-consuming Nothingness the Paien I had believed to know was standing beside me again.

The sound of a body falling to the ground startled me. Amalia crouched on all fours on the ground, her eyes tightly closed and hissing.

"Amalia?" I crawled to her, also on all fours, and put a hand on her shoulder. Through the fabric I felt the icy cold seeping from her shivering body.

Amalia pressed her face into her arms as she shook with tremors. Without thinking, I pulled a dagger and tried to perceive my surroundings and fill the emptiness in my mind that still licked at my consciousness.

A group of Paien watched us with frightened eyes. They were all dirty beyond recognition. I saw burns on their skin, saw tears and despair, but I couldn’t see any more. I didn’t know if it were men or women, old or young, powerful or weak, friend or foe.

Slowly I stood up, pushing my shin against Amalia's shoulder so as not to lose contact and raised my free hand to a pacifying gesture. All the while I was hiding my dagger halfway behind my hip. "We have come to help. We..."

"Cass!" Lucian ignored the frightened Paien and rushed at me. "Is everything alright?" His golden hands clenched around my shoulders. "I would never have believed..." He paused. "You're bleeding."

I followed his gaze to my scraped-up hands and shrugged my shoulders, which wasn’t so easy under his grasp.

"I’m okay. Amalia…"

"The Queen saved us!"

My eyes flinched back at the indefinable mass of Paien and tried to make out the speaker, but I couldn’t.

"Cass..." Lucian started as Amalia moved.

"...seen..."

"What?" I wanted to bend down to her, but Lucian took me a step further away and gave Amalia an angry look.

"Bring… Takumi..." Amalia rose a little high, her face still pressed into her arms. "She has seen me."

Lucian froze, which gave me the opportunity to free myself from his grip. I squatted in front of Amalia and pulled her into a sitting position. Her eyes remained tightly closed. I wasn’t sure if that soothed or worried me.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly. Even though I still couldn’t really see the other Paien, my instincts warned me that they were coming closer.

Amalia's breathing calmed down slowly, and even though she still felt icy cold to my touch, she was no longer trembling as violently.

"Amalia, look at me."

Lucian grabbed my wrists and pulled me up. "Anakleto!" I heard the panic, even if it was only an undertone. It sounded shrill through his melodic voice.

"Lucian, what..."

"Bring her to Takumi." In Amalia's voice, I heard the same panic as in Lucian's, but nothing penetrated the silence in my mind.

Lucian put an arm protectively around my shoulders and dragged me away from Amalia as Anakleto approached her. He threw glances alternately at her and the Paien and began to speak to them.

Lucian led me past ruins, unfamiliar Paien whose faces seemed to float, and among the debris and ashes.

"Amalia needs help, she..."

"She's better off than you." Lucian didn’t even try to suppress his anger anymore. "How could you look at her?"

I didn’t understand him. His words were blurred and I began to tremble uncontrollably.

"Cass!"

I forced myself to look at him, but there was only emptiness.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Shock. I had been in shock. Never in my life had anything more embarrassing happened to me. The thought that Amalia's magic trick had made me so confused that I... I shook myself, deeply disgusted and began to creep through the ruins with more enthusiasm. Or self-loathing. Both work.  

Takumi had, after I had awakened and passed his tests – senseless questions, how I felt and if I was afraid of Amalia – turned around and helped the many injured. The weeping children he had ignored because I had collapsed unconscious. I suppressed another curse.

Amalia, from what I had gotten out of Lucian, had quickly recovered and searched another house for all things still usable.

Many of the Paien were already on the way to a transitional centre. It was organized by a very dedicated quasi-mayor who, after Anakleto had enlightened him that Amalia was in fact not the Queen, had tried to kill her because she had put the Queen in danger. The hypocrisy didn’t seem to bother him.

Anakleto and Lucian had been able to convince all the Paien that I was doing well and the examination was a pure formal procedure, but they had forbidden Amalia to come near me. As soon as we were in the Castle, I would kill them all together.

I hissed as I brushed against a torrid metal strut.

Benedict and his followers had come here just after sunrise, and had created a barrier against humans and then destroyed everything. Two Paien were critically injured, and many more had minor injuries. Not even the children had been unscathed by the fires. His tactics weren’t necessarily brilliant, but effective.

 _Children are soft targets_. I could never forget Melrose's smile, no matter how much I tried. _Simple targets_. The threat alone was enough was most often enough to get what you wanted, but Melrose never handed it that way. _Don’t promise anything you can’t hold_. I suppressed my thoughts, deleted all my memories. No matter what I had seen, no matter what I had done, I never followed that thought.

My grip closed around red glowing metal. Searing hot pain ate through my hand and burned all thoughts.

"Queen!"

My arm was pulled back, and I met fearful blue eyes. A young man, barely older than me, crouched in front of me with a soot-blackened bandage on his forehead and shoulder.

I pulled my hand to my body and he let me go, a frightened look in his eyes.

"Forgive me, I..." He hesitated. "Shall I get the healer, you..."

"I’m okay." I nodded to his bandages. "Should you work here?"

"I'm fine." His face became serious, an untrained mask that was supposed to show confidence, but could hardly conceal the pain.

"Sure." I glanced at my right hand and sighed inwardly. Between the blisters was raw meat. Takumi would kill me.

"I should..."

"Takumi has enough to do," I spat.

He jerked back and stared at me speechlessly for a moment.

I rolled my eyes. Seldom had I ever heard an unspoken question so loudly. With my left hand, which – though bruised and bloody – was now my good hand, I pushed my leather jacket so far from my shoulder that he could see some of the runes on my skin.

The stranger breathed heavily.

"Queen Cass, at your service." I turned and tried to work my way through the debris with only one hand.

"Kyle."

I raised my gaze and met Kyle’s blue eyes. His skin had a light mother-of-pearl shimmer, not as pronounced as Amalia's silver one, but indisputable. He could be a Paien without element, but I wasn’t sure.

"Can I bandage your..." He stopped, but when I didn’t react, he continued. "If I can’t get the healer for you, can I at least bandage your hand?"

Without comment I held out my hand to him. The later Takumi learned about this, the longer I would live.

Kyle pulled a bandage out of his pants pocket and put it more or less skilled around my hand. I gritted my teeth and ignored the pain.

"Thank you." I withdrew my hand after he had torn the end of the bandage and knotted it around my wrist.

"I am at your service, Your Highness." A half smile flickered across his face, but it was marked by pain and loss. What would he say to his Queen if he knew who she was and what she had done?

I turned around and had finally decided to dedicate myself to the cleaning up when Kyle interrupted me again. "I offer you a deal."

Suddenly, Victor came out of nowhere. The look on his face was enough to assure me that he had only heard the last sentence.

"The Queen..."

"Can speak for herself." I was too tired for an argument. Meanwhile, it was early evening and really everything in my body ached.

"Um..." Kyle's eyes twitched from my waiting expression to Victor's murderous one and back again. "I... My little sister... I can go on here and you could..."

"She needs her brother." I wanted to turn around, but Victor held me up.

"That's a good idea."

"The child is probably traumatized and needs her family, not some stranger," I hissed at him.

"Your hand is hurt and you can barely stand upright. I think it's a good idea if you take care of the child instead of letting you be buried by some ruins because you stumbled at the wrong moment," Victor growled almost silently into my ear.

"That's enough." I raised my gaze and saw the change in his eyes as he noticed my fury. "You help Kyle and dare not follow me, or I swear you'll be spending the next week with Chem," I hissed.

Victor stared at me angrily, but if he didn’t want to undermine my power, there was hardly anything he could do and he knew that. I saw the battle in his dark eyes before I turned around and left the smouldering ruins. Head held high, I ignored my shoulder, my hand and the rest of my body altogether.

Meanwhile it had become quiet. The few remaining Paien were treated or ransacked the debris. In a building to my right, I saw Lucian's gentle gold glow. I definitely wouldn’t go there. My gaze fell to the last house in the row and I hesitated. For a brief, great moment, I just wanted to go. Not back to the Castle, but simply leave everything behind me. Thanks for the chance, maybe in another life. It could be so easy. If someone saw me, I could claim to draw a Circle to get back to the Castle.

It could be so simple but it wasn’t. Whether it was the Queen's magic or not, I was bound to my oath. And even if it wouldn’t bind me, could I leave all these Paien behind? I growled at my own weakness. It was a miracle I had survived Melrose, but maybe she still got her chance.

I forced my tired body down the road and across the rubble to the ruins of the half-burned house.

"Amalia?"

I heard something crashing to the floor and a resulting avalanche of noises.

"Are you okay?" I fought my way deeper into the house.

"What are you doing here?" Even if she tried to keep the panic in her voice under control, I heard the desperation in the question. What the hell was going on now?

"Victor is an ass, Lucian robbed me of my last nerve and Takumi tries everything not to kill me."

"And Anakleto?"

"I have no idea where he is."

"It's such an honour to be your fifth choice." The panic in her voice had faded to an insecurity that was heavy despite the sarcasm.

"Lea and Rick aren’t here." I ignored her snort and entered what could have been a living room yesterday. Amalia stood before a soiled blanket on which she had collected some toys, her back to me. My attention lay on the sharp line that passed through the room. The fire had destroyed the whole house, except for a third of the living room. Remains of the fire were visible everywhere, making the unspoiled places even more sinister. Amalia’s power had killed the flames before they could consume everything in their way. I knew they had. I had watched her do it.

"Are _you_ alright?"

I turned away from the unnatural front and looked at her back. Her shoulders were tense, and I hoped for the sake of the child that those toys belonged to that Amalia held nothing in her hands.

"They told you I blacked out?" I huffed angrily. "Typical."

"What did Takumi say?" The caution in her voice only increased my fury.

"Nothing. He just pushed me in between patients because Lucian was making a scene..."

"Do you know what happened?"

"Do you think I'm so stupid?" I kicked at a half-charred chair and it collapsed under the force. "Your magic, the Nothingness or whatever almost killed me. So what? I'm good."

Amalia turned slowly and stared at me with cold contempt. "So what?" The words sounded dead from her lips, but I wasn’t in the mood to let myself be lectured. I held her gaze from unfathomable darkness.

"Do you realize what it would be like for me to take a life like this?" Her voice was unemotional, but her words belied her tone. "Even if you were just a..." She hesitated, knowing that no one should hear what I was. "Even if you were not the Queen, this magic, that Nothingness, would have destroyed us both."

"Why did you use it then?"

She raised an eyebrow as if the reason were obvious.

"Don’t use the Queen-shit," I hissed at her.

Before Amalia could answer, a squeak sounded through the ruin and we both stiffened in our movement.

"Amalia?" Anakleto's voice sounded from the street.

I glanced at Amalia with an annoyed look as she tied up everything useful in the blanket and followed her through the remains of the house.

Anakleto stood in front of the door. In his arms, he held a girl with azure eyes and a mother-of-pearl skin. Well, this must be Kyle’s little sister.

"Did you get anything?" Anakleto's eyes lingered on me, but I wasn’t about to acknowledge that.

"Yes." Amalia threw the bundle over her shoulder and didn’t react to the little girl's anxious look. She was two years old at the most and moved uneasily in Anakleto's arms.

I tried to ignore the child while I followed the two to Takumi, but she kept looking at me. She stretched out her little arms towards me. Whether she wanted to be with me, or just away from Anakleto was meaningless in any case.

"Give her to me." I ignored my agonizing hand and the protruding shoulder and took the little bundle out of his arms. She immediately buried her little hands in my hair and pulled at it happily.

I bite my tongue and propped her up on my hip before I dropped my right hand to my side. It really wasn’t a good idea to use it. A really – _really_ – bad idea.

The little girl beamed at me, before she buried her small hands tightly in my hair. She pressed her face to my chest and breathed out contentedly.

I suppressed a shudder as I felt the warm of the small body resting against mine. How could this little creature trust a stranger so easily? She had no idea how dangerous we all were and what could be done to her by people like me. By monsters like me.

I grabbed the girl tighter and pressed my cheek on the small head.

"Is she sleeping?" Anakleto stared at me. "I've tried the last two hours..." He left the sentence unfinished and frowned. "What happened to your hand?"

"I've burnt myself." I held it up briefly and showed them the bandage.

"Why?" His eyes darkened drastically.

"Because glowing metal is hotter than my skin can stand," I explained in a steady tone, trying to not wake the little girl in my arms.

"Why..." Anakleto started again, but I gave him an unambiguously look and nodded to the sleeping girl. He fell silent.

"What is left to do today?" Amalia's voice, smoky and straight, guided Anakleto's attention away from my hand.

"In the meantime, everyone will have to be taken care of, except for her brother, who insisted of helping and a handful of other Paien. The other are already gone."

"Good." I suppressed a sigh and adjusted the little one in my arm.

"Shall I take her?"

I glared at Amalia. "Don’t worry, I can carry her."

Amalia didn’t answer me. She didn’t need to, as her disbelief was open on her face.

"Queen!" Lucian stood next to Takumi, resting one hand on his shoulder. Takumi's golden skin looked greyish and he didn’t look up as we approached him. He must have used up a lot of his magic.

"Tonia!" In addition to Lucian, Kyle and Victor stood beside Takumi. Victor visibly suppressing a grin, apparently amused that I had ended up with the child. I suppressed a growl and nodded to Takumi. Victor followed my gaze and stepped next to Takumi in case he needed to be held upright.

"Here." I passed the little girl into the waiting arms of her big brother. It took some time before I pulled my hair out of the little fists and stepped back.

"Thank you, my Queen. She never sleeps in the arm of strangers." There was a hint of awe in his voice.

"The Queen is quite good with children."

I cast an icy glance at Victor and his cheerfulness before realizing that there was still one of my hands on the little head. I pulled it back and looked at Kyle questioningly. "Where are you going now?"

"To our aunt." He took the bundle of Amalia and bowed. "Thank you."

"Nothing to thank for."

We watched as Kyle drew a Circle and dwindled with the rest of Paien after I had thrown off her thanks.

"You should have accepted their gratitude." Takumi's words came slowly over his lips and I shot him a look full of annoyance. Couldn’t he finally faint?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my thanks to my lovely Beta reader Anna (I love you girl!) 
> 
> And of course to all of you my readers too! 
> 
> What do you think about her power's?


	14. Wise Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They must deal with the King's Front - but Cass is not one to make decisions others would think "wise"...

Of course, he didn’t do me the favour of finally fainting. Why would he?

As soon as we arrived at the Castle, Takumi demanded dinner for everyone. Meanwhile he was held up by Lucian, but his eyes didn’t allow any opposition. Inconspicuous, I hid my bandaged hand and fought him less than I would have done under other circumstances.

After dinner, Anakleto and Lucian brought Takumi to his room. He murmured something of a potion he would take before he would go to look after Lea and Rick. If it wasn’t something made by Gandalf himself, there was little chance in hell that would happen.

"I'm looking after Rick." Victor gave me a not-glare and left the hall.

"Okay. I’m going to see Lea."

"What are you going to tell him?"

I met Amalia's gaze. After I had seen the Nothingness, the abyss no longer frightened me. The indecipherable blackness was still unnatural and the mind was trying to see something in them. But the fear was gone.

"The truth."

She pulled her eyebrows together. "Everything?"

"How can you tell the truth if you intentionally conceal things?" Sounds hypocritical, I know. How could I claim to not lie to them when I hid secrets? But there was a difference between not telling crucial information and hiding personal affairs. This attack had been ordered by Lea’s brother. He needed to know.

"How can you believe to tell the truth if you do not understand what happened?"

I sighed. "You almost killed me, but prevented it at the last moment. What else do I have to know?"

"What you call _Nothingness_ is a power put into the cradle of my family. Whether we want it or not. To use it means to unleash it." Her voice was calm, but I saw the twitching of her hands. "Once unleashed, it sucks up everything. The stronger the power, the weaker we become. Living beings offer everything it needs. The more powerful they are, the more power the Nothingness makes of them." Her hands clenched into fists. "A Dragonslayer is powerful, but the Guardian and Preserver of Righteousness? Even if you are not yet enthroned, your magic would make the Nothingness way too powerful."

"What happens when it gets stronger than you?"

"It will escape my control and destroy anyone and everything until I die." She loosened her fists and looked down. "It would probably take no longer than a few minutes, but that would be enough to do substantial damage."

"Sounds great."

She raised her eyes, but I wasn’t sure what emotions were on her face.

"Do you have to use it?"

She frowned. "It is not mandatory, but sometimes it is the easiest way."

"With the small risk that you kill yourself and take everyone else..."

She gave me an angry look. "The fire was not a risk. But you..."

"I saw you after you used the Nothingness," I reminded her. "How much power and magic does it cost you to control it again?"

Amalia stared at me coldly but didn’t answer.

"I thought so." I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to mobilize my last remnants of concentration. "I guess you can do more?"

"Of course." Amalia scoffed contemptuously with the now familiar expression.

"What is the problem then?"

"Why do you think I needed two hours to show up at the Castle after you got the runes?" Her face hardened. "I realized that sooner or later I would use the Nothingness and I knew what a danger I would represent. Not only to the Queen but for everyone around me. As long as I have control the risk is low, but when I unleash the Nothingness I can direct it in the best case. In the worst case, it submits me. And if that happens it will look for the Queen as a source of power and we can only hope that it will not kill anyone but us."

"Still, you're here."

"If we can prevent the war, it is worth the risk."

"Nice to be involved in your plans." I gave her a sugar sweet smile. If that was her only consideration for my premature death, I was safer with her than with most others.

"You have to stay away from me."

I raised an eyebrow. "You have dragged me behind you."

"I did not think you were so stupid to look at me!"

"Why does it make a difference if..."

"Do you know the proverb _the eyes are the windows to the soul_? With me, they are the windows to something way more destructive," Amalia hissed, so frigidly and furiously that I was impressed for a moment. But I definitely wouldn’t admit that.

"A very nice saying for a calendar."

What came out of her throat was more like a growl than I would admit, but all I showed her was a relaxed smile.

"Should I use the Nothingness again..."

"I won’t walk in front of you, understood."

Amalia inhaled to a presumably peppered reply and I saw a pink glow on her cheeks. She was infuriated and it wouldn’t cost me much more to make her forget herself. Even if it itched me to measure my strength with hers, I wasn’t ready to try it right now.

"I’ll tell Lea you said hi." I turned around and left the dining room. I hadn’t quite entered the hall when I heard her frustrated scream. I didn’t even try to suppress the smile. Everyone had their buttons and now I knew Amalia’s.

Lea's buttons were so similar to my own that it could almost be considered the same. I would be able to push them all at once. I would push them all at once. I knew exactly how I would react to it, and normally it wouldn’t do anyone any good. But Lea needed to know. He was more controlled than I was. At least I hoped so. Another good reason to not waste my remaining energy on Amalia.

I opened his door and closed it behind me before I greeted him.

"My Queen, what an honour." Lea lay in bed, smiling, until the light of his lamp fell upon me. "What happened?"

I looked into the eyes of lava and rocks and tried to concentrate on the deadly assassin before me. He was a deadly assassin. It didn't matter that I suspected - knew - that he didn't have a choice. It didn't matter that I thought I knew Lea, another broken chess piece. Another broken child that had never been allowed to be a child. 

In spite of my soiled clothes I pushed myself on the bed next to him and sat with my legs crossed. He narrowed his eyes as he watched me. He had seen every cautious movement and his gaze wandered to the unprofessionally bandaged hand.

"The King's Front attacked a community of Paien." My voice was neutral and I held his gaze. I watched as the doubt disappeared from his facial features and was replaced with agony before all his emotions disappeared behind an expressionless mask.

I told him everything, blunt, but without going into detail. I was sure that he knew them without me actually telling him.

"No one was killed and Takumi could heal everyone. Some will need time, but they will all recover. He won’t be able to see you until tomorrow. He has used up a lot of energy."

Lea's expression hadn’t changed. I saw his knuckles whip white in his hands, which he had buried in the blanket before him.

"You should take a shower." Lea's voice was an imitation of my own, cold and unemotional.

I held his gaze a moment longer before, ignoring my screaming body, pushing myself from the bed and going to his bath.

"Are you injured?"

"No." I didn’t turn around as I closed the bathroom door behind me. The despair in his voice, though suppressed, told me more than I wanted to know.

I stood for a long time under the shower, the water too cold for my cramped muscles and too hot for my burnt skin. I forced myself into the grey sleep suit and dragged myself into Lea's bed. The room was dark, very much to my relief, and I sank into the bed with a sigh. Everything hurt and my hand throbbed and burned disturbingly.

I turned on my stomach and tried to find a semi-comfortable position.

Somehow, I fell asleep and was woken by Lea taking my injured hand into his. I hissed and shrank back; Lea was definitely too warm to touch burns.

"You lied." Lava eyes narrowed to slits, and I heard nothing but the rage in his voice.

I took a look at my hand and suppressed a groan. Even in the dim light it was clear to see that the bandage was soaked through. With a mixture of blood and sore water – or at least I hoped that’s what it was.

"I've burned myself, I didn’t..."

"Your hand must be raw flesh!" He growled threateningly and I rolled my eyes.

"Who knows of your hand?"

I raised an eyebrow challengingly. "Do you think it would be bandaged like that if someone knew about it? When I stumbled yesterday... "

"You were unconscious!"

"Takumi stopped helping the others to look after me, as if it were necessary. He couldn’t have distinguished my hand from my foot yesterday, so..." I felt the air around Lea quickly heat up and saw how his control threatened to slip away.

"Snap out of it! Do you want to burn the bed?"

"Castle..." Lea pressed the words through his gritted teeth and I saw his hands begin to shake. "Bring the Queen to Takumi."

Before I could protest, I felt the pulling in my stomach and landed on another bed in the dark.

I felt a quick movement and dropped back out of reach, but before more could happen, the lamps flared on in Takumi's room.

Takumi sat erect in front of me, a long dagger in his hand. An uncertain expression was on his still pale face.

"Cass?"

"Hey." I pushed myself up with my healthy hand and gave him an annoyed smile. "Lea sends his greetings."

"What..." he started, but then his eyes found my hand. I saw them narrow to slits, and the ribbons danced faster in them.

I was tempted to ask the Castle to take me to my room. I wasn’t that stupid though. Takumi would put me at least in a coma for my own safety, and in the ensuing fight I would kill him. Besides, it was really hard to find a good healer.

“May I inquire what that is?" Takumi's voice was threateningly calm as his gaze drilled into mine.

"I burned myself yesterday." I suppressed the need to shrug. As I said, I’m not _that_ stupid.

"Who bandaged this? Why did you not come to me right away? How did you get the idea that putting a normal bandage over a burnt wound would be a sensible one?" Takumi seemed to have forgotten that he was practically held up by Anakleto and Lucian yesterday. A visible proof was his undressed golden chest. I could only hope Lucian and Anakleto had put a pair of pants on him.

"Better than getting all the dirt..." I started, but was harshly interrupted.

" _You worked with it_?"

It came to mind that _no_ would be a good answer. Sadly, after my failure yesterday, I wasn’t in the mood to humiliate myself further. "Of course."

Takumi pressed his lips tightly together and I saw his hands clench into fists before he loosened them with some difficulty. "It's not easy to be in your service, my Queen." He jerked away from me and pushed himself out of his bed. He was wearing black jogging trousers and I followed each of his unsteady steps with my eyes. He had used too much of his magic and weakened his body considerably.

Takumi went to a gigantic desk, which also seemed to function as a worktable. I looked around briefly in his room while he opened a book. It was bigger than my bedroom, with bookshelves up to the ceiling. Beside the desk were two gigantic cupboards with endless small compartments filled with tubes, bowls, bandages, herbs, powders and much more that I couldn’t even name.

I pushed myself to the edge of Takumi's bed and sat with crossed legs as he pulled out some of the compartments more purposefully and continued to work.

When he turned, he held a tray in his hands with swabs, a bowl with water, two ointments, a fine powder in a small bowl, and fresh bandages. He put the tray next to me on the bed, pulled up a chair, and carefully took my burnt hand into his. "This will hurt."

I nodded. I was aware of that.

Takumi began to cautiously remove the bandage and ignored my hissing. "When I moved into the room, it looked different. But after the first night, everything I needed to work was here." He hesitated before pulling the last position of the bandage from my hand with a quick movement. Beneath this was open flesh, pus mixed with fluid and blood. Takumi's lips pressed tightly together as he cleaned the wound and held my hand in place with iron strength. I tried to keep the curses to a minimum but unpleasant was a damn understatement for the treatment.

"The books and cabinets were here after I've swore my loyalty to you." He met my gaze seriously before spreading the powder evenly over the wound. "The Castle seems to be self-sufficient. Otherwise the few materials I brought with me would soon have been used up." He let go of my hand and I breathed a sigh of relief. The itching sensation creeping over my skin was welcome after the burning pain.

Takumi grabbed a compress and covered it thickly with ointment before placing it carefully on my hand and began to wrap a bandage around it. "The books here are almost all of the healers who were previously in the Queen's service." He knotted the bandage and looked at me sternly. "You will not be burdening this hand today."

I raised an eyebrow and tilted my head. "Only if you look after Lea and Rick and then go back to bed."

"I took a potion yesterday and..."

"Tell me, wise healer, if I had exhausted so much magic, what would be your kind advice on how I should recover from it?"

Takumi stared at me angrily.

"Yes?" I prompted with an innocent smile.

"Bed rest," he growled as if the word tried to stifle him.

"Really?" I asked cheerfully. "Then we'll make a deal. I will refrain from walking on my hands today and you will sleep."

"As you wish, my Queen." Takumi's ability to hide all his emotions behind a mask was enviable.

"Very good." I stood up, but a golden hand twisted around my left arm.

"Your shoulder."

I thought about getting myself out of his grip, but gave into my fate. Amalia was right; there were battles worth fighting. This wasn’t one of them.

Takumi loosened the bandage around my shoulder, treated the wound, and covered it with a band aid. Then he put on a shirt and walked with me to Lea, two rooms over. Before he could open the door, I stopped him.

"Two things."

Takumi's gaze, dark and cautious, met mine, and I watched for a moment the jagged movements of the golden ribbons.

"Without you, we won’t survive two days. You must take care of yourself."

Takumi's eyes widened before his face returned to his indifference and he nodded once. "As you wish, my Queen. And the other?"

"Lea was very angry when he persuaded the Castle to drop me into your bed."

Takumi nodded once again and stepped in front of me through the door.

I rolled my eyes and followed him. Even if Lea had opened both windows wide and the Castle had blurred all the tracks and repaired all damages, the smell of fire still lingered in the air. More precisely, burned wood and smouldering cotton.

"How are you feeling, Lea?"

Takumi was smart enough to use his self-chosen name, because even if Lea's body sat seemingly relaxed in the bed, the forced smile betrayed his relaxed body. I knew that Lea could put on more convincing masks if he wanted to. Either he wasn’t aware of how much of his rage he showed, or he didn’t care.

"I’m in hardly any pain." His gaze lay on me. I ignored the rage and despair in his eyes and tried to find signs of pain. "How is your hand, Queen?"

Before I could say anything, Takumi answered for me. "Raw meat. It will take days for it to heal."

Lea's eyes blazed in my direction and I stared at him angrily.

"You said you weren’t injured." His voice cut the air, and I saw the trembling of his hands while Takumi began to loosen his bandages.

"Takumi..."

Takumi's eyes were ice-cold as they came to rest on me. "How could you burn yourself like that?" His voice was almost as cold as Lea’s.

I owed them no explanation and even if Lea suffered, I wasn’t obliged to tell them anything. Why... I breathed out in a controlled manner and met their furious looks with equanimity.

"How is Lea?" I leaned casually on a wardrobe with my right shoulder and waited, seemingly patient.

Lea's eyes tightened as he looked at me, but right now he was too upset to read me.

Takumi gaze lingered a moment longer before he went back to his patient.

I watched as Takumi released the bandages and examined his wounds with shallow movements. Lea showed no emotion, which didn’t mean that he really didn’t feel any pain. But it distracted me from the merciless throbbing in my hand that numbed every other feeling. Lea's shoulders hadn’t relaxed for a moment, and the mask on his face said more about his condition than a supposedly cheerful smile.

"Your injuries have healed better than I could hope." Takumi didn’t sound enthusiastic.

"I'm sorry, the next time I'll be sure to heal more slowly." The supposedly joke-like comment cut the air and Lea stopped for a moment, surprised at the sharpness in his words.

Takumi's gaze wandered to me and then to the rune on his own arm. "I wonder if the Queen's magic can affect the healing of her companions," he said, dismissing Lea’s comment.

"You have the books of the last thousand healers, you should ask them that." I shrugged. It would explain why I healed so quickly if I could assume that it was also a power the Queen could profit from herself.

"Amalia..."

"Didn’t swear loyalty to you," Lea interrupted me sharply.

"True, but she is here and..."

"It could have helped her in addition to her self-healing powers." Takumi nodded and frowned for a moment. "Or it was because you, Queen, gave her your energy directly."

I wanted to raise to a negative response, but could I deny it? I had slept next to her while she healed and in her weakened condition, it was quite possible that the Nothing... But wouldn’t she be weakened by that also?

"When can I leave the bed, Doc?" Lea's voice was warmer, more playful, even if the effort behind it was obvious.

"On any other day, my answer would be tomorrow." Takumi gave me a cold look. "But since our Queen ordered me to rest, you should take care that she does not burden her hand." Something that was reminiscent of a smile crept on his lips and I suspected evil coming my way. "And you, Cass, should make sure that Lea continues to rest."

"Very clever." I nodded toward the bathroom. "Go take a shower. Takumi can bandage you up afterwards."

Lea and Takumi gave me an equally annoyed look, but my thoughts had already turned to something new. Even if I had avoided any close contact with the Paien yesterday – except for Kyle and Tonia – I knew it was the damn job of the Queen to respond to the attack. As a Dragonslayer, I had learned a lot, but diplomacy and politics weren’t among that. The Dragonslayers lived by Darwin’s law of survival of the fittest, or as often with Dragonslayers, the most deranged ones. The honour of the family and the spilled blood were the only real measurements worthwhile to a Dragonslayer, and nothing I could really score with.

Takumi looked at me. "I'm sure no matter what you think, it's a bad decision."

I raised an eyebrow. "Just an idea..."

"No." Takumi's eyes darkened. "No matter what you thought, the answer is no."

"You don’t think we should deal with the King's Front?"

"Not with the means a Dragonslayer would use." He rose, supple, but I saw the effort in his movements.

"All I've done so far..."

Takumi stretched out his arm and practically forced me to look on his rune of companionship. "As your adviser, my Queen, I ask you to reconsider your idea."

I rolled my eyes – yet again, if I didn’t watch it, my eyes would rotate for all eternity – and sighed. Even if I had no idea yet, it would probably have been unwise. "What’s your suggestion then?"

"I'll write to him." Lea was wearing some dark jeans and a shirt lay over his forearm. His eyes stared hard at a point just above my head. I waited.

"I haven’t reported to him for one and a half weeks, but if he isn’t convinced of my betrayal, he will listen to me. I will write to him that I have been waiting to be able to frame the murder on someone else, if that is necessary, and also that you don’t want to be the Queen. I will suggest that he could easily convince you to leave the throne to him when he meets you and talks to you. And I'll write to him that we all dislike you." He looked aside as he sat back on the bed and Takumi began to work on his wounds again.

"If he believes me, he'll plan the meeting as a trap. He won’t risk you slipping through his fingers, so we'll find a second place and tell him about it after the meeting started." Lea's voice was expressionless. I knew he loved his brother, even after everything he had done. I wasn’t sure if I could understand it. On the other hand, I wasn’t sure if I would stand up against Melrose and try to kill her, even if it were the best for the world. And there wasn’t even a hint of a doubt in my mind that the world would be a much better place without her.

"And after that?"

Lea met my gaze and I wished he had put on his mask again. "We'll try to convince him that he has to surrender and if that doesn’t succeed..." It didn’t seem as if Lea had even a spark of hope that he could actually convince his brother.

"Then the Queen will make a judgment." Takumi straightened and squeezed Lea's shoulder briefly. "And we will execute it."

Lea nodded without breaking eye contact. "Yes." It wasn’t more than a breathless whisper.

"No pressure of expectation then." I turned away and closed my eyes for a moment. "I don’t believe my oath..."

"If, before you condemn him to death, try to persuade him or take him captive, I will see the oath as fulfilled." Lea's voice was low, but inexorable. "I will renew my vow, and..."

"That will not be necessary." Takumi began to collect his utensils. "You are bearing the rune of the companions. Even if the Queen would break her part of the vow..."

"I won’t." I turned back to the two men, because even if Lea was more vulnerable than ever, he had never looked so grown up.

"Thank you, Cass."

I nodded hard once. "We should keep that to us for now."

"A wise decision."

I gave Takumi an annoyed look when I noticed the soft expression in his eyes.

"This is known to happen once in a while, even if our Queen doesn’t show her wisdom often." Lea's smile was narrow, but not as tormented. If that wasn’t a much more convincing mask, I had no idea how Lea did it. Did he repress, or could it be that he actually tried to accept this accursed life as it was?

"You should have breakfast. I'll look after Richard and make sure that he will eat as well." Takumi left the room before we could contradict him, and I wasn’t sure if it was because he feared we could fight back against eating breakfast, or whether he wanted to prevent that I forced him to have breakfast with us.

When the hell... I stopped the thought before it could start. I had begun to like the Paien when I got the runes and it made no sense to panic now. That moment was long gone. Was I now submitting to the magic of the Queen? Before the panic could take possession of me, I concentrated on my unbroken desire to be free. Even if I was to take this responsibility – and no matter what I wanted to feel, I had not yet decided – I would sooner or later leave the throne to Lea and seek Shane. And when I found him... I'd cross that bridge when I came to it.

While Lea had written an encoded letter, I had armed myself. There was no way I would go to breakfast without at least dozen daggers strapped to myself. I hadn’t known that non-magic users could send letters with the basin, but as Lea explained, the basin itself was enchanted. It had to be reloaded with magic sometime and a lot of magical Paien had made that their business. Apparently, there were also Circle-traveling-agencies. That at least expounded how everyone except Takumi had managed to come to the Castle to claim their place.

In the dining room, we met Amalia and Victor. Both were silent and ignored Lea and me with a consequence that made me doubt my own existence.

"How's your hand, my Queen?" Lucian smiled at me cautiously, answering my question as to whether I existed or not. Just as I had started to hope!

"Good."

"Takumi says we can tie her to her bed when she tries to use her hand."

"He didn’t say that," I hissed angrily, giving Lea a crushing look.

"I am very sure..."

"Eat your breakfast," I growled, even though I had seen the spark in Lea's eyes.

"How are you, Lean... Lea." Lucian smiled at him in a friendly way, even if it cost him visibly willpower.

"Better, thank you."

"To be honest he is only allowed to sit here because I made Takumi..." I started, but Anakleto's arrival in the dining room interrupted me. Today he had hazelnut-coloured shoulder-length hair and his eyes were green as young leaves in the spring. His whole appearance seemed more youthful and relaxed.

At least until his eyes fell on Lea. The tension in the room, already distinctly perceptible, seemed to intensify tenfold.

Even if Lea wasn’t the murderer of Anakleto's sister, he could have been if the order had come to him. And whether he had raised his hand against her or not, his brother had ordered her death, among many more in yesterday's attack.

"Good morning.” Anakleto moved his shoulders as if to relax them and fell on his stool. "How is your hand, my Queen?"

"She mustn’t use it the next few days." Lea's voice was gentle and almost seemed to be an invitation to blame him for my injury. The volcanic eruptions of his eyes met the bright green of Anakleto’s.

"Will we ever be so fortunate as to experience you being uninjured for more than two days at a time, my Queen?" Anakleto's gaze still lay on Lea, but the hatred had subsided.

My gaze wandered from Anakleto to Lea and back again. Had I missed something?

"I would rather not wait for that occasion." Amalia's ice-cold gaze squawked into mine. "But every day she doesn’t try to kill herself is a success."

"I didn’t..." I started, infuriated. I hadn’t considered suicide for years.

"It kinda starts to look like it though." Lea began to demolish his breakfast, probably because he assumed that nobody would try to attack him. "First the acid-pukers, then..."

"These were attacks and my injuries accidents, what..."

"That’s how you try to make it look like." Victor, his voice cold and dark, didn’t seem to be able to stop his lips from twitching. Could he even smile?

"What the hell happened yesterday? Have you all lost your minds?" I snapped, irritated, and glared at each one of them angrily.

"Of course, that would be a plausible possibility." Lea smiled at me and the shadow in his eyes began to fade already. "Could also be that you give us hope."

Speechless, I stared at him. This was by far the least likely possibility I would have considered.

"You take that back,” I hissed with a mixture of anger and horror which I couldn’t quite explain to myself.

"Why do you think children like you so much?"

I met Lucian's rainbow-colored eyes with a cold look. "Children don’t…”

"Oh, please." Amalia's voice, bored and annoyed, interrupted me. "Children love you."

I glowered at her angrily. Teddy had probably suspected no one evil in his garden and Toni had just survived an attack, that didn’t mean anything.

"They feel your need to protect them." Lucian showed his angelic smile. "They trust you. And we do too."

My gaze wandered over everyone. Nobody disagreed with this madness and I felt their confidence as a boulder threatening to crush me, taking my breath away.

"It seems as if our fearless leader has swallowed her tongue." Lea smiled at me innocently.

I would have gladly replied to him with drastic brutality, but my brain failed me, as humiliating as that was. I was surprised that said boulder hadn’t killed me on the spot and it cost me all my self-control just to continue breathing and not running in circles screaming. But I wouldn’t do that – not as long as I had a saying in it. However short that would be. Additionally, in their state of mind as of now, the Paien would presumably think of me running screaming in circles as a brilliant idea and a token of my wisdom. Where was Takumi when I needed him?

"If only that was true." Amalia's mouth twitched for a moment. "Our life would be so much easier."

I opened my mouth to prove how right she was with that desire, when pain rushed through me and I suppressed a scream. Something that reminded me too much of an electric shock burned my body and I pressed my arms on the cold surface of the table in front of me and my chin to my chest, hoping not to show any pain.

"Cass!" Lea's hot hand lay on my forearm, and I pressed my lips harder together. As soon as the pain had begun, it disappeared again and I relaxed my cramped muscles. It took me a moment before I could get up. My facial expressions carefully controlled.

"What was that?" Victor's eyes had narrowed to slits, and I saw the glimmer of his pupils.

"I don’t…” My thoughts were running wild. What the hell just happened? It had burned every nerve and I had no frigging clue how. A desire had accompanied the pain still screaming in my mind: Rescue! I started when something clicked. "What would an emergency call do if it were tied to a person?"

For a moment, I was scrutinized by five pair of eyes. Then Amalia spoke the words, everyone in the room where thinking by now – including myself.

"You were not so damn stupid to weave a spell that you did not know, tied it to yourself and placed it in the hands of our potential enemies, were you?"

Again, it occurred to me that, as Takumi would say, it would be wise to answer with an uncompromising _no_. But I had never been a liar and wouldn’t start now, no matter how tempting it seemed.

"Maybe?"

"I take it back. I do not trust you! How stupid can one be?" Amalia stood up jerkily. "Pack your things. We have to destroy the fucking emergency button."

"And help the Paien who have activated it." Lea smiled merrily while Amalia ran out of the dining room.

"Don’t let her out of your sight." Victor gave me an angry look and followed Amalia. Why was anyone still coming unarmed to breakfast? This was by far the most dangerous time of the whole day.

"They start to like you." Lea smiled "And if they don’t kill you, they will be great companions."

I gave him an annoyed look. Accepting the muffin Lucian pressed into my bandage free hand, I followed Anakleto into the entrance hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!
> 
> And thank the heavens that they sent me Anna who helped me through every crisis if an inhuman amount of patience.


	15. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family can lift you up or break you down. In this case family makes you do thinks you rather wouldn't do.

It took some time to persuade Takumi to draw the Circle for us, but since I didn’t know the coordinates, we had no choice but to convince him. Five minutes after I received the first signal, the button was pressed again – for, of course, as we would find out, this was the effect of the emergency call button that I had freely left in my infinite stupidity. This time, Lea and Anakleto were the only reason I was still upright. Takumi had agreed to send us after he saw the effect on me. He convinced me it would be sensible to disable the button – quite forcefully – and that I could answer the summoning if I must. Whatever that meant.

"Do not let her do anything ... unwise. Or touch something."

"I'm right here, Takumi!"

"But you are not listening to me, my Queen." Takumi watched as Victor, Amalia, Lucian, Anakleto and Lea took me to the middle. "Take care of her." His eyes pierced Lea’s before sending us into darkness.

The first thing I noticed was the smell of fire. The meadow showed burn marks and I heard the blazing flames of the barrack behind me. My eyes searched immediately for fighters, for signs of danger, but before I could tell there was nothing to see, Amalia pushed me roughly aside.

Surprised, I stumbled against Anakleto, who caught me with one arm, while Lea's warm hands grabbed my shoulders and followed Amalia's movements with my eyes. She had jumped out of the Circle and ignored the fact that Lucian and Victor had started to build a shield around us that now shut her out.

Amalia stopped a few meters in front of us and spread her arms. The energy all around us shifted immediately, as if a thunderstorm would crush down on us any minute now. Magic prickled my skin, warning me to flee. She had unleashed the Nothing.

At the same moment, my eyes flickered to the trees, from which a wave of Darkness rushed towards us. The blinding Blackness was at least as tall as the oldest trees. It would swallow us whole and probably suck the live out of everything in the near vicinity. Without thinking, I tried to throw myself forward, but Lea and Anakleto pulled me backwards, holding me in place.

I knew that we had nothing to oppose the Darkness. It was born of power far beyond ours, with the same destructive power as the Nothing in Amalia. We had no means to defend ourselves, aside from Amalia, if that was what she was doing. Either way, I didn’t want to stay back.

Her shoulders tightened and the flood of Nothing hit her. For a moment, I lost sight of her and stifled a scream, but before I could even break Lea's arm, the Darkness cleared somewhat.

Amalia's arms trembled and she had been pushed a good step back, but she stood her ground and the Darkness vanished, sucked into her own Nothing. If she could absorb all that, I didn’t want to know how fast she could have destroyed me. The sight was too strange, too disturbing to think about anything else. A tiny voice in the back of my mind tried to remind me of the danger. Even if Amalia could destroy all this power, how were our chances of survival? Wouldn’t that much energy overpower her? What good would it do, if _her_ Nothing drained us instead?

Amalia's knees gave out and some of the Darkness rolled past her, beating on the shield of Lucian and Victor. Both didn’t last any longer than necessary.

I heard the sigh of Lucian as his magic fizzled to nothing, but I had only eyes for Amalia. She had curled up on the ground, her face pressed against her forearms, trembling as if her body were shaking with convulsions.

I threw myself forward and this time Lea didn’t stop me. He followed my movement, his hand still buried in my shoulder. He had to know that I wouldn’t let him stop me for a second time. And maybe, just maybe, he was worried too.

I dropped to the ground next to her and laid my injured hand on her back. Feeling Lea's warning grip tighten on my shoulder, I used my uninjured hand instead.

Amalia panted, though the shaking was subsiding slightly. My gaze wandered from her collapsed person to the edge of the forest. It wasn’t hard to guess why she had known what would happen here. The fact that she had thrown herself in front of us, without hesitating for a moment, spoke for her, even if it didn’t mean she hadn’t lured us into this ambush.

Lea detached his hand from my shoulder, but his leg pressed warm against my side. I was reminded of yesterday, but I was almost sure that he didn’t want to reassure me as much as himself. He wanted to make sure I didn’t follow through with whatever suicidal idea I got.

Victor and Lucian lined up to our right and left. Even without looking back, I was sure that Anakleto was protecting our backs. Fucking hell, I was too trusting.

The movements in one of the trees at the edge of the forest became more and more hectic until a boy appeared. He couldn’t be older than twelve, probably younger. He ran toward us as if his life depended on it, followed by an older boy of about fifteen. I didn’t have to see their silver skin, nor their black hair or the everything devouring abysses in place of their eyes, to know that they were Amalia's brothers. They had the same face. The older one kept his body in the same graceful atonement as his sister, but above all the panic on their faces was a dead giveaway.

The older brother reached the younger one about ten paces before he could reach us and pulled him back. The younger, who only seemed to have eyes for Amalia, struggled, but the older one held him firmly. Even though I couldn’t see it, I felt his gaze wander over our group.

"Lia!" Cried the younger brother abruptly and pleadingly, with the high pitched wet sound that announced tears in the near future. Amalia flinched. I saw her hands claw into the ground and almost felt the brutal violence she was probably using against herself to keep from running to them.

The older brother took the younger one a step back and hissed something in his ear, all without losing sight of us.

"What did you do to her?" The older brother's voice was unmistakably similar to that of his sister's, annoyed and angry. His face showed little more than suppressed panic.

"No word," growled Amalia so threateningly that I withdrew my hand. I had never seen a bear mother defending her young, but Amalia was at least as threatening right about now.

Amalia took advantage of the distraction, kicking off the ground and leaving our protective centre before I could hold her back. Lea, who had anticipated my move, let me get up, but grabbed my wrist and pulled me back a little while Lucian and Victor both took a step closer to me.

I was well aware of the danger we were in. Even if the youngest wasn’t yet a serious fighter – and we couldn’t know that – and he still couldn’t control the Nothingness – and we didn’t know that either – Amalia was dangerous. But she wouldn’t use the Nothing. Even if she had betrayed us, she would never attack us with it and endanger the lives of her brothers. I knew it.

The moment Amalia left our protective circle, the younger of her brothers broke free and threw himself into her arms. He clung to her as if she had just returned from the dead. Amalia embraced him and pressed her cheek to his black curls.

The older one hesitated for a moment, his gaze on us, before yielding to his obvious desire and embracing Amalia as well. Amalia included him in her arms, grabbing the back of his jacket.

I averted my eyes and waited. It could be part of a plan for Amalia to reveal her feelings so openly and thus probably her greatest weakness. It could all be a trick to lull us into a sense of false security, but I didn’t believe it. The vulnerability on her face and her strained shoulders, the way she pressed her brothers protectively to herself, seemed as natural as her shock.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Amalia's voice was a mixture of anger, disbelief and panic. She pushed her brothers an arm's length from her to face each without letting one of them go.

The elder shot us another angry look. "We thought..."

"You didn’t write!" The younger one sobbed, tears trickling down his face, and I saw Amalia's shoulders tighten further.

Ah.

"You promised to write." The accusation of the elder sounded loud, even though it didn’t cover his anxiety.

It wasn’t hard to guess that Amalia's Paienrace was feared and hated by other Paien. I had realized as much at our first meeting. Presumably, she had taken a great risk when she came to the Queen's Castle. When she didn’t write, the boys had called us to see if she was alright. When she wasn’t with us, they assumed the worst, not that I could blame them.

Amalia let her head hang for a second before she straightened her shoulders and looked at her brothers intently. "Wait here." She turned and found my eyes.

I raised an eyebrow and waited. It almost seemed as if Amalia had to steel herself for what would come next.

When she came up to me, no one moved, and much too late I read the determination on her face. I tried to pull my hand back, but Lea held it in place. Amalia dropped to both knees, grabbing my hand forcefully with her cold touch and I felt the magic work without her even saying a word.

For a brief moment, pain flickered across her face. Her arms were covered with clothing, but I knew the companion's rune was burning into her arm. Who would have thought that you didn’t have to say a word?

"My life and death are yours, Guardian of Righteousness."

I felt the anger building inside me. Not only did she know that I didn’t want her oath, she had tied her damn life to mine to teach her brothers a lesson.

As soon as the magic allowed it, I jerked my hand back, but Amalia didn’t wait for my reaction. She stood up smoothly from the ground, turned and walked back to her brothers. She undressed her long black coat without comment, pulled up the sleeve of her equally black shirt, and showed the rune to the boys. It stood out in red and black from her silvery skin.

"That's the companion's rune." Her voice was gentle, almost apologetic, as she spoke to her brothers. It was the last drop that brought the cask to overflow.

With boiling anger, I stepped behind Amalia. Lea had followed me at every step and was still right behind me. He left more room for me, probably suspecting that he would otherwise be caught in the crossfire.

"What the hell?" I hissed at Amalia. Her brothers stared at me, startled, but Amalia didn’t even turn around.

"You know why I did that." She put a hand on each of her brothers' shoulders.

"And you really think I would have sentenced your brothers to death because you forgot to send a postcard?" The hissing sound turned into a low growl and I ignored the incipient protest of Victor, Lucian and Anakleto.

"And she wasn’t here when the boys laid the first ambush! This is also on the Princess of Darkness!" Lea chirped helpfully from behind. Since none of the others disagreed, he must have shut them up with a meaningful look, which of course I had missed because I was still staring at the back of Amalia's head.

It took me a bit of control to not force it around and even more to not reach for my weapons. Even though I didn’t intend to really hurt her. How could I do that after she put her damn life in the service of the accursed Queen?

"Tell your brothers what you did. Thanks to your oath, you will be forever in the service of the Queen. Make sure they don’t fuck up and try to kill us just because you forgot one of their birthdays." I saw the older brother’s face twist, but Amalia's tightening grip – if the stretch over her knuckles where an indication – made his lips clench, igniting my fury even more. "Do you even know..."

"My Queen." Lea interrupted me. His hand was not only growing hotter by the second. If he would grip my shoulder any harder, my bones would snap.

I glared at him, too much rage bubbled searing hot inside me, burning everything in its path. I wanted to lash out and to hurt. The soothing look out of his lava eyes made it all worse. One last spark of thought that hadn’t been consumed by the roaring flames stopped my hand. Fingers already halfway curled around the cool metal of my blades.

"Anakleto, Lucian, put out the fires, we don’t have to burn down the forest." I turned around jerkily and tried to swallow the anger, the fury, the pain. The panic. I could strangle Amalia later. The younger brother already looked like I was a monster out of his worst nightmares.

I squatted next to the emergency button, concentrating on the magic that far exceeded my ability, even though I had woven it myself. Something I should put on the list of Things-to-find-out-before-they-kill-me.

Lea's soft throat clearing made me withdraw my injured hand and I glared up at him. He was right beside me, like he had been all morning. A small smile curling his lips, but it couldn’t hide the strain of his body.

"You could have stopped her." I knew why he hadn’t, understood why he thought it was the right thing to do. But that didn’t change the fact that I would like to kick his ass.

"Her life for that of her brothers." His face and tone were neutral, even though his eyes screamed the truth. He had done exactly the same thing. "They tried to kill the Queen and a life debt had to be paid."

"I would have never..."

"That's irrelevant." His flaming eyes darkened. "Amalia volunteered to serve the Queen, and even though she wasn’t a rune-bearer, she had submitted to the Queen's laws. The only way to save her brothers..."

"I would never have condemned them," I snapped at him, fury racing again through my veins, too hot and painful to stop it.

"I know that. Amalia probably knows it too, but a debt had to be paid."

"Why would anyone blindly follow any rules? That's madness!"

Lea tilted his head and looked at me before he squatted in front of me. "Maybe you're right, but living without laws is also insane."

I averted my eyes and glared at the woven emergency mechanism, repressing the implications in his eyes. It wasn’t much better to stare at the damn button. I had no idea how I created it and no idea how to destroy it.

"You have to find the point where you can dissolve the magic."

My eyes jerked up to the lava eyes. "You know magic?"

"No, I just read a lot." He shrugged carelessly and smiled at me in a relaxed tone. "It's always said that magic has to be woven and like woven fabric..."

"There is a cord that holds everything together."

Lea nodded happily, though my eyes didn’t leave him. The idea that Lea, with all his elemental skills and martial arts, could master magic, was frightening.

"Why did you learn so little? You obviously have talent."

"When would I have the time to learn it?"

Lea's eyes darkened for a moment. "If you had to train half as much as I did and I'm sure you trained many years longer, you should have had enough time."

"Magic is a power of the Paien. All I know I secretly learned, if anyone had known what I was trying to..." I broke off. This wasn’t a line of reasoning that I wanted to pursue before the attentive eyes of Lea. "I was surprised that I could learn anything at all."

Lea was silent and the neutrality in his face startled me. "What?"

"You must be aware that the Dragonslayers are descended from Paien. Look at your hair and your eyes. Have you ever seen such a lilac on a human?" He smoothed a strand of hair behind my ear as I stared at him, speechless.

"Your speed, your strength, none of it is human. Otherwise you would never have had a chance against Vic or me." He forced a smile to his lips, but the compassion in his face ate like acid through his attempt to sooth me. "How could you descend from humans? Do you really think anyone but a Paien could be our Queen?"

I was still staring at him dumbstruck. How could I have been so idiotically stupid? Of course, I had noticed the hair and eyes, but most Dragonslayers had extraordinary hair colours. Of course it made sense retrospectively, but I would never have come up with the idea to question that we were human. For the speed and strength, I had been training hard for years. How could I know that it exceeded that of a human? Apart from the few months spent running away from my family, I had never lived among humans and never compared my strength with theirs. I had known that it exceeded the strength of _regular_ humans, but we weren’t regular and trained all our lives.

I was a Paien? Elementless, with magical abilities and...

I forced my eyes to the ground. Maybe my affinity for magic and the ease with which I learned it had nothing to do with the Queens powers. Maybe it was just my innate abilities that wanted to be used.

Ignoring my insecurity, I concentrated on the magic in front of me. I put all the other thoughts aside: the rage, confusion and fear. I focused solely on the woven magic in front of me. I just had to pull on the right thread and...

Nothing. It took all of my control and patience, but after six failed attempts, I found the right thread and the magic fizzled and dissolved.

"Very good!" Lea clapped enthusiastically and pulled me up. I suppressed a hiss; one of my feet had fallen asleep and I was sure that my back would kill me tomorrow at the latest.

My eyes fell on the surrounding Paien. I had probably taken even longer than I had realized.

Amalia, who obviously noticed my fatigue – and thus my weakness – pushed her brothers forward. Her face was controlled and calm, even though I knew that she had to be at least as fucked up as I was.

"Queen Cassandra, may I introduce to you: Aaran and Anand." She patted the younger and then the older brother on the shoulder. Both stared at me with big abyssal eyes.

Aaran's features were still childishly soft, and he didn’t seem to be able to decide whether he feared or admired me. Anand's features were similar to those of his sister, even though he hadn’t yet mastered the lack of emotion. No matter what Amalia had told them, she hadn’t trivialized her words, that much was obvious.

"Nice to meet you." I held back as much of the biting sharpness as I could. "Don’t try to kill us next time."

"Tactful as always." Lea laid his arm loosely on my shoulder and beamed at the two boys. "Amalia, Anand and Aaran, are there any vowels where you come from?"

"The..."

"Ignore him." Amalia interrupted her youngest brother and tied me with her gaze of infinite darkness.

"As rune bearer and oldest sister, please..."

I made a dismissive gesture. "It's okay, nothing happened."

"What the Queen really wants to say," Lea interrupted me cheerfully, even as I felt his warm hand wrap warningly around my wrist. Why didn’t I kill him again? "You have already paid the debt of your brothers."

"Actually, the Queen wanted to say that..." I started, but now Victor intervened.

"You favour mercy."

"Seems like I could leave the job to you, since you know exactly what I want to say," I hissed angrily.

"Oh, no, no Queen, without your wise leadership..."

"If you want to live, you shouldn’t finish that sentence."

"Queen?"

My gaze wandered to Aaran, who looked at me with huge, infinitely disturbing eyes.

"Yes?" I had tried to keep the anger and cold out of my voice, but hadn’t expected the kindness and warmth escaping my lips. I really lost my reputation here. Even worse, it didn’t cost me any effort.

Aaran studied me for a brief moment before throwing himself forward and hugging me tightly around the middle. I was too shocked to react. Judging from the panicky expression of Anand and the hectic movements of my companions, no one had expected this reaction. Nobody but Amalia, who didn’t even show a hint of surprise.

"Protect our sister." The words were murmured softly, pleadingly even, and for a moment I felt his arms clenching around me.

Without thinking about it, I put my arms around his cold form and hugged him reassuringly. "Did you see the bandage on my hand?" I asked quietly, but in contrast to his words, mine were also audible to the others. I didn’t wait for his confirmation. "What we do is dangerous and I can’t promise you anything. But she is one of us and we take care of each other." That couldn’t even be considered a white lie, even though my vague wording left many options open.

"Aaran." Amalia's voice was gentle in a way I had never heard before.

Aaran broke away from me and turned to face his sister, who looked at him with so much love, even though her eyes were a hellish abyss. I quickly turned my gaze to Anand, who continued to keep an eye on us.

"It is our job to protect the Queen, not the other way around. We have to prevent the war and for that Cass has to..."

Aaran threw himself back in her arms and I turned away. It was bad enough to know that Lea, Takumi, and now she too had tied their cursed lifes to the Queen's fate. Death was something that could happen to anyone every day. Nothing to worry about, because either way life ends. As a Dragonslayers it ended only in the rarest cases in old age due to a failing body. In fact, I didn’t know of anyone in my family or well-known families who hadn’t died bloody. Even though you might be able to blame too slow reactions on old age.

I didn’t want the responsibility that was imposed on me when Melrose trained me as her successor. I hadn’t been able to defend myself. But I had fled, had left everything behind to be free. I’d wanted to be finally free from her, to be able to live for me and Shane as soon as I found him. But now? Not only had she and Lea and Takumi tied their lives to me, no. I also knew that she had a family. A family that would miss her. A family that would risked killing everything and everyone to avenge her death. How could I ever forget that? How should I ever...

Lea's hand clenched my wrist again and I looked up. The half-smile on his lips seemed relaxed, but I saw the tension in the volcano eyes. When did I learn to read him like this? Why did I allow this?

"It would be good if you drew the Circle, my Queen."

I resisted the urge to look over my shoulders and began to draw. Lea and Victor stood beside me the whole time, as if bodyguards were still needed. On the other hand, maybe they also protected Amalia from me. As I wove the magic, I ignored the voices of Amalia and her brothers, the looks of Lea and Victor, and most of all, the familiarity of the magic that I playfully wove. I ignored the gnawing feeling and the anger, trying to fight backwards and the feeling of bitter triumph.

"Done." Before I could stop myself, I glanced over my shoulder. Aaran clung desperately to his sister, while Anand obviously had to stop himself with force from doing the same thing. I averted my gaze and ignored the hot shoulder that was gently pressed to mine. That was not something I wanted to deal with here and now. In fact, I would prefer to never deal with it.

"If you want to go to the Castle, you should get in now." I tried to banish the acidly undertone from my voice, and if only to not worry Aaran anymore. Judging from the disturbing looks, not only did I not succeed in doing so, perhaps I had also muttered one or two death threats. I inhaled deeply, calming my temper. It didn’t matter. I couldn’t change a thing. Amalia had been branded, and sooner or later she would serve Lea. This circumstance actually elicited a small smile from me.

"Okay, Queen, now you’re scaring me." Lea put an arm around my shoulder and laughed. "Don’t say anything you've been thinking about, there are children present."

"Just because you act like a six-year-old..." I started, but Amalia interrupted me. I guess I would never know if they had had to pull her little brother off with a crowbar, but now Anand was clutching at him, presumably to keep him from following Amalia into the Castle.

"I will write to you." Amalia smiled and it was hard for me to recognize her. "Do not worry."

I didn’t wait for an answer, nor did I want to alert her brothers to the lie. Without waiting another second, I tore ourselves into the darkness.

Lea's hot hand on my shoulder tried to push me out of the Circle as soon as we materialized in the entrance hall. He knew I wasn’t done with Amalia.

With a quick movement, I tore my shoulder out of his grasp and stepped in the way of Amalia.

"You fucking idiot."

Amalia, Princess of Darkness and feared by all Paien, actually took a step back.

"It wouldn’t have bothered me if you had died for them, but now your life belongs to the Queen and you won’t be able to make that decision again! You can’t even imagine how much power these runes hold!" I spat at her. "Fuck!" I pressed my trembling hands to my side to stop myself from hitting her. I wouldn’t kill her. Could never again do that to her, but god did I want to hurt her.

On Amalia's cheeks appeared pink shadows, but she tried to pull herself together. Either she saw it as her duty, now that she had sworn to be my devoted lapdog, or she wanted to prevent my anger from exacerbating. Maybe she was afraid that I would still be able to hurt her brothers.

"You said you would never swear allegiance to the Queen. Is your word worth so little?"

"Cass..." Lea tried to interrupt me, but I ignored him.

"What would you do if your brothers decide to go against the Queen again, if they know I'm a Dragonslayer? What..."

"They would never do that." Amalia's voice was dangerously low, but I didn’t care. If I couldn’t make her bleed, I would hurt her any other way I could.

"What would you have done if I had decided that they deserved a death sentence for the attack on the Queen?" I hissed back.

Amalia's hands clenched into fists and I didn’t even try to suppress a sadistic smile.

"I could have ordered you to kill them..."

Amalia lunged at me, but before I could measure my strength with hers, Amalia was torn back by Lucian and Anakleto while Lea and Victor dragged me a few steps back.

"Stop!" Victor released me, just to face me. "That’s enough."

I watched Amalia over his shoulder. She was breathing heavily, as if she had run a long while. How much would the Queen's magic have allowed before it would have stopped her. I had hoped for a fight, not to kill her, but to vent my frustration on her. What did I risk if I provoked her? Not that my words weren’t true. I could have demanded the death of the two boys and I would have been in my right. Strategically, it didn’t make sense to be weak. In order to gain more sympathy, I could have condemned Amalia to kill herself and she would have been bound by magic to a direct order. The anger and hatred flared up again. Why had she done that? Why did Lea and Takumi...

"Cass..." Lea's voice, insistent and hard, mingled with my thoughts and I shot him a devastating look.

"What?"

"That’s enough. We know too little about the impact of the rune on its bearers. You could kill Lia."

I wanted to scream at him that I didn’t care. That it was her own fault. I pulled away from his grasp and nodded to Anakleto and Lucian to let Amalia's arms go.

"Write to them regularly. That's a direct order."

Amalia stared at me more furiously than ever before, but I wasn’t sure which of us felt more anger.

Anakleto and Lucian were still right behind Amalia, as if they suspected an attack on my life at any time. But I was sure that the cursed rune on her arm would end her life long before she could take mine.

I let out a heavy exhale and closed my eyes for a moment. It would be so much easier if I...

Lea's hand on my shoulder brought me back to reality and the faint image that I presented to my biggest fans here. The five Paien around me looked at me with varying degrees of concern. I straightened my shoulders and raised my head.

"The next one who tries to swear allegiance to me will be killed on the spot."

"We urgently need to polish up your manners, Queeny." Lea's hot hand briefly squeezed my shoulder before turning to the others. "Cards on the table, whose family members except mine and Lia's want to kill the Queen?"

"To you, I am Amalia." Her voice was rough, but her breathing had calmed down.

"I know, Princess of Darkness, but I ignore it." Lea smiled relaxed as if someone took the opportunity and...

"Queen!" Rick slipped breathlessly into the lobby and bumped into Victor. He ignored the clash and rushed towards me. "The King's Front." He pressed out and held out a letter to me with a trembling hand. "They have contacted us. They want a meeting."

My eyes flickered from the piece of paper to Lea, whose hand had cramped into my shoulder, and to the other Paien in the room. Even if Benedict believed his brother's lies, it was more than likely that he would trap us. Maybe just to rescue his brother from the clutches of the Queen. Maybe just for the sake of power. If he guessed, or knew, that Lea had betrayed him, he would kill us all. And it was more than likely that he knew Lea's good nature.

I took the letter from Rick's trembling hands and unfolded it.

Even if Benedict had no ulterior motives, it was quite possible that Anakleto or others would try to use this opportunity to take revenge. Someone could recognize me as a Dragonslayer or I could betray that by accident.

I handed the letter to Lea and forced a relaxed smile. "Does any of you know a nice place to have a picnic?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everyone reading this, giving kudos or commenting. You are all a delight!
> 
> And thank you Anna! I couldn't do it without you girl!


	16. Patience is a Virtue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patience IS a virtue - but who has time for it?

Victor, Amalia, Lucian, Anakleto and Rick stared at me as if I had finally snapped. Lea scanned the note, which was written on expansive and heavy stationery.

"Picnic?" Anakleto managed laboriously, and I could easily watch the conflict of emotions on his changing face.

Lea let go of my shoulder before he could burn me severely – even though it seemed to be difficult for him – which I was really grateful for. I handed the letter to Victor.

"Dear Cassandra, it was impolite to assume that you could have time for me on such short notice. I ask you to appoint a time and a place for us to decide together about the future. Sincerely..." Victor stopped and looked to Lea with a well-formed mask of indifference first and then to the group of others.

"You won’t really..." began Lucian, but he was interrupted by Amalia.

"Of course, she will."

"Picnic?" Anakleto repeated angrily, as if unable to believe that no one else would hang on to that one word as he did.

"A beautiful remote place..." I started with a happy smile as Lea interrupted me sharply.

"No." He gave me a meaningful look from lava wells. "In public, with as many..."

"Weak targets as possible?" I looked at him coldly. "No."

"Cass..."

"No. If there should be a fight..."

"If?” Anakleto growled, but I ignored him.

"... we won’t jeopardize bystanders."

"In public..." Lea started again, but was interrupted by an angry laugh.

"You don’t believe that, do you?"

Lea looked at Anakleto pleadingly. "He wouldn’t risk exposing us to humans."

"That means you don’t care about their lives?"

"I didn’t say that."

"Guys!" I grabbed Lea's arm and pulled him one step backwards. "If you want to scream at each other, go down to the dungeons. Then I don’t have to listen to your shit and maybe it will annoy Chem so much that he finally talks." I pushed Lea another step back. "Stay out of this," I hissed so softly that no one except him could hear my words and turned back to the others.

"We won’t endanger bystanders and we won’t provoke a fight." My eyes fell on Anakleto. "No matter how cogently our motives should be, we'll be good and innocent..."

Amalia laughed, or at least I guessed that the sound was supposed to be a laugh. What came from her throat was barely recognizable as human – Paien. It contained only anger and contempt. "Nobody, Dragonslayer, would think you to be innocent."

Her words were followed by a moment of silence. She was right, of course. Even if I squeezed myself into one of the pink princess dresses, nobody with two brain cells would think me harmless. But that wasn’t the point.

"We will be polite. We will attend the meeting urbanely and talk to him civilly. Anyone who can’t stays here. This is not a request. This is not a debate. That's an order." I stared at Amalia, trying to penetrate the infinite darkness of her eyes. "Anyone who wants to stay here and anyone who has a problem with it should stay here. If we don’t start playing the game of the King's Front, they won’t give us another chance. Then innocents will die."

"How do you know that?" Victor seemed to know the answer himself, but I gave it to him anyway.

"Because that’s what I would do." I crossed my arms over my chest and ignored the protest of my burned hand. "The King's Front will try to lure us into an ambush and they will try to play us off against each other. That's why we have to be strong, calm and united. We have to appear like we are one heart and one soul.” My lip-lips twisted into a disgusted smile.

Lucian turned away, his hands shaking.

I glanced at Lea. He stood upright, cautiously hiding his feelings behind an impenetrable mask of indifference. But I knew what it must look like in his head. I didn’t need facial expressions or verbal affirmations. Lea was strong, more resilient than I was and so optimistic that it disgusted me, but he was at his breaking point.

I turned back to look at Anakleto's dark eyes. "I prefer to go alone and show no hint of fear before I take one person with me, who…”

"Do you really think he's going to change?" Anakleto stared at Lea, even though he addressed me. "Does he deserve..."

"That's not your decision."

"You are the damned Guardian of Justice! What is fair if..."

"No." Lea's voice was neutral, gentle and relaxed. "He will try to kill us all, but if I... If I don’t at least try..." Lea stopped, then turned and left the lobby.

I followed his controlled movements with my eyes and turned towards Anakleto. "You don’t have to come. I even advise you to stay here." I gazed each and every one of them with my eyes. "In an hour, I will write an answer. Anyone who has decided to come along, will..." I ignored the loud interjections and spoke louder. "Come with me. If you decide against it, you’ll stay here."

"I'll come with you." Victor took a step forward.

"Me too." Rick nodded determinedly, though he kept fidgeting with his hands.

"Very good, if..."

"I know a place." Rick blushed. "I didn’t want to..."

"Where?"

I turned to Lea, who had come back almost silently and was now standing behind me.

Rick seemed shocked. "Before, when I was little, my family..."

"Where?" Amalia's voice made him cringe.

"A forest clearing. There is hardly ever a human being."

"Do you have the coordinates?"

Rick nodded. "Yes, my parents..."

I ignored Rick and knelt on the floor.

"Cass, wait!" Lea's hand wrapped around my shoulder and he tried to pull me up. I raised my bandaged hand menacingly.

"Do not force me to use it."

Lea's eyes narrowed. "You wouldn’t dare."

"Try me."

Even if it was just the ghost of a smile, I saw the brief twitching of the corner of his mouth. "You should rest, just for a moment."

"I am..."

"I don’t doubt that, but I think we could all use a short break."

I rolled my eyes and stood up. "Wimp."

Lea's smile widened.

"One hour." Victor gave me a quick look.

"Okay, why not?" I turned and left the lobby. My injured hand trembled slightly even though I had put less weight on it than I normally would. It was burning and hurting unpleasantly.

"Are you okay?"

Lea didn’t respond immediately, but I answered that question so sporadically that I couldn’t expect an answer. My left hand gripped my right forearm and I forced myself to exhale in a relaxed mood. Amalia had given me her life, and tomorrow I would at least lead Victor and Rick to almost certain death. I hated the orders I gave, but I hated the Paien who listened to me even more.

"I don’t think that I can convince Ben." Lea broke off, but he didn’t need to continue. The pain in his voice was enough to guess everything unspoken.

"Should that happen, you won’t be there."

"Cass." Lea turned me around, and it took me a bit of control to keep my eyes on him. I didn’t want to see that pain. I didn’t want to know how he felt. I didn’t want to know.

"I will come with you."

"Lea..."

"I have sworn my loyalty to you and I will protect you with my life."

"That's the problem." I pulled my arm away and took a step back. "You wouldn’t hurt your brother but want to protect me. What is the only option left for you?"

"That doesn’t mean..."

"Of course, it does." I tried to control my anger, but Leas puppy face was too much. "You believe in honour, you believe in the Queen and you don’t want to see your brother die. Do I have to paint you a picture?"

Lea didn’t answer, but he didn’t have to.

"I'll come with you, Cass." Lea looked at me seriously. In front of me stood my advisor and strategist, but this time there was no strategy. There was no advice he would accept. Only a desire and the knowledge that he couldn’t bear to be left behind.

"Without me, your chances drop considerably. I know my brother. I know his advisers and confidants, and most of his assassins."

Of course, he was right, but if Benedict knew of his betrayal, Lea would be an additional danger. And either way it would be hell for him. It wasn’t my decision, not my pain and not my fucking family. It wasn’t a situation that visited me in my nightmares and it didn’t have to care what Lea did. I didn’t care, but I couldn’t convince the gnawing pain in my stomach that it was unnecessary.

"You _will_ fight back."

Lea stared at me as he carefully analysed my words. "Is that an order?"

I stared into the honest eyes of lava and black stone, which had seldom looked so resolute and determined. During his training, it was possible he had never shown that look before. Never before had he been in this situation. As much as I hated myself, I wanted to declare it a command and thus improve his chances of survival. Otherwise it would jeopardize him if he couldn’t bring himself to obey the order. Lea wasn’t suicidal, of that I was sure. But there was a difference between killing yourself, or to not defend against someone because you didn’t want to hurt the other person. Even if the end result was the same.

"No." I avoided his eyes.

"Don’t worry, Queeny, you won’t get rid of me that easily." Lea's hand brushed my cheek and I stared back with a mixture of horror and definitely _not_ vulnerability. Of course, it would be unfavourable if Lea died, but it wouldn’t be more. An inconvenience at best.

"We should use the remaining time." I turned around jerkily and was about to walk in the direction of Takumi's room – the only injured person at the moment – when I thought better of it.

"You just remembered that Takumi would skin you alive if you turn up with a hurting hand, didn’t you?"

"Shut up."

Lea laughed. "It may be better if we give him some rest."

I glanced at him, then decided against it to say something. This whole emotional stuff wasn’t my strength, to put it in a very positive way.

Silently, we went to the dungeon where Lea signed us in the book.

"Did nobody go to see after Chem yesterday?" I asked, glancing over his shoulder.

"If someone was, the person hasn’t registered." Lea shrugged, as if he didn’t care. Nobody seemed to care about Chem and his possible answers except me.

Chem sat upright on his bed, a book on his knees, looking at us with a halfway convincing mask of indifference.

"Hello Chem." Without saying a word, I asked the Castle for two comfortable chairs and sat down without looking back. The chair seemed to materialize directly below me and for a moment I was afraid that the Castle would play a trick on me. Lea sat next to me in the comfortable chair and leaned back relaxed.

Chem indicated a nod and hesitated.

“Are you… feeling better?"

"Me or the Queen." Lea asked cheerfully. "But we both feel better, thanks for asking. I see the Castle has given you entertainment?"

Chem pulled the book closer and closed it carefully, as if he was afraid we would take it away from him.

"Don’t worry, we have enough reading material. Is it interesting?" Lea’s chattering sounded happy and unconcerned.

"It..." Chem seemed to be searching for words. Maybe he was also considering a new strategy for how he could react to us.

"It's a book about former Queens."

"Seems like the Castle wants to tell you something."

Chem's eyes twitched to me, but there was hardly any hatred left in them. Very odd, considering where he was.

"I hardly know anything about my predecessors." I smiled at him, hoping it was relaxed and curious.

"I haven’t read much yet." Chem seemed confused, as if he couldn’t explain himself why he answered kindly.

"Then maybe you can tell me about it tomorrow?" It was hard to keep the smile in place. "Sorry I didn’t come by yesterday."

Chem didn’t answer, but he didn’t have to. His eyes spoke volumes.

"What can you tell us about the attack on the Queen?" Lea leaned casually to the left in his chair and braced his head with his left hand. "You must have had a reason to want to kill the Queen."

Chem's hands clenched around the book and he stared at the cell floor.

Lea and I exchanged a quick glance and waited. Chem wasn’t a fanatic and he wasn’t a professional. Five days in solitary confinement without further action would never have broken or even disturbed us, but the signs in Chem's attitude were unmistakable.  

When Chem finally spoke, Lea and I mostly listened in silence. He told of the stories of the last Queen and the disappointment and anger Cassandra ignited. After she abandoned the Paien, territorial struggles had broken out and only the strongest families, clans and races had a chance to hold their own. When Cassandra reappeared years later as a Dragonslayer, despair turned to hate and grief into fear.

"We wanted to prevent the new Queen from becoming too strong." Chem gave me a quick look before staring back at the ground in front of him. "After the last one betrayed us, we believed..."

"I understand." I sighed heavily and stood up. "Thank you for telling me that."

"What happens to me now?"

I encountered his anxious expression, even though he tried to hide his fear. Had I ever been so open? So vulnerable?

"I haven’t decided yet, but..." I smiled reassuringly at him. "I don’t think you have to stay here for much longer.”

Chem’s features fell and I took a step forward when Lea held me back.

"The Queen, in her infinite wisdom, actually wanted to say that she will soon decide on a lenient sentence."

Chem's eyes wandered from Lea to me, but before I could confirm Lea's words, we were interrupted by distant clattering footsteps that echoed from the stone walls.

"Cass?" Victor's angry scream was distorted by the stone walls and echoed unreal down the corridor.

"See you tomorrow, Chem!" Lea on my heels, I ran down the hallway. What the hell could have happened now?

Victor, followed by Anakleto and Lucian, ran into us as he sprinted down the stairs, and only managed to catch himself at the last moment.

"What happened?"

"Where were you?"

I gave Anakleto an annoyed look. If he couldn’t guess where we were even though we were in the dungeon, I wouldn’t give him a hint.

"Why didn’t you come to the entrance hall as agreed? We thought..." Lucian stopped midsentence, but I saw the relief flicker across his face.

"You thought the Queen had gone into the forest on her own, or had probably met with the King’s Front?"

I rolled my eyes annoyed, but didn’t contradict Lea's obvious assumptions. Nor did I try to convince anyone that I hadn’t thought about it for a moment.

"As you can see, I'm still here, so there’s no reason to cause a commotion."

Lucian and Anakleto were silent while Victor glared at me angrily.

"Queen, when it comes to you, there's always a reason to cause a commotion." Lea's obviously strained cheerfulness didn’t change my – desperate – facial expressions and I rolled my eyes.

"Who else is coming with?"

"That’s a joke, isn’t it?" Victor shot me an angry look. "Everyone comes along."

Glancing over my shoulder, I encountered Anakleto's controlled facial features. "Are you sure?"

"If a Dragonslayer manages to be diplomatic, I will be able to not kill him." This could have been a joke, but I wasn’t sure. Not only did his tone sound anything but joking, his grey eyes were serious and seemed more adult than usual. Great, another one for the idiot squad.

Lea, who was next to me, was less cheerful than usual, but he seemed more composed than I expected. I gave him a quick sidelong glance and met his lava eyes. He had expected the look and pulled up the corner of his mouth to a half smile. This couldn’t be true.

Amalia and Rick were already waiting in the entrance hall. Takumi had remained unbothered by the search for the lost Queen.

Amalia still looked like she would torture the next person that spoke to her slowly and painfully to death, but the twitching in her weapon hand had stopped which could only be good. She paid no attention to me.

Rick, who had more self-preservation drive than the rest of us, stood at the other end of the room. He looked visibly relieved he was finally no longer alone with the demon and her thirst for revenge.

"Camping trip!" Called Lea as I drew the Circle and ignored him and his over-enthusiasm along with his singing. What would I have been able to weave with magic if I hadn’t grown up under Dragonslayers? I stifled the rush of anger and disgust and straightened up.

Lea, obviously looking forward to a game of provoke-the-angry-demon, gave me a meaningful look. He nodded to my injured and now painfully throbbing hand before leaning casually against my back.

After another devastating glance in Lea's direction, Amalia wordlessly stepped to my right side. Great, that couldn’t get any better.

As always, I underestimated my luck. The forest clearing to which Rick's coordinates guided us was perfect for our purposes. Far from everything and surrounded by easily combustible material. If I doubted how flammable shrubs and trees were, Rick gratefully reminded me when Amalia lost her patience and leapt at Lea, who hadn’t stopped singing nursery rhymes. As she lunged for him, Rick was so startled that he set fire to some of the botany. Victor and Lucian extinguished the flames, while in the background Amalia tried to skin Lea alive. Rick didn’t stop apologizing.

For a brief, glorious moment, I contemplated just abandoning all of them right here, but then thought better of it. Takumi would kill me.

"Lea."

Amalia hadn’t been able to catch him. No matter how fast and skillful she was, Lea was in a different league.

"That’s enough." I knew that he had to distract himself and that there was nothing more exciting for him than driving others insane. But Amalia also had had a crappy day. Although I had to admit, I really appreciated the entertainment value of their small battle.

Lea jumped to my side and stuck his tongue out.

"Very mature," I commented unnerved and gave Amalia a warning look. It had been a crappy day for all of us, no reason to kill each other. I pulled myself together. Lea had vented, Amalia had worked off a bit of her murderous pursuit, and Rick had burned down part of the forest. It was enough for today.

Back in the Castle we wrote a reply letter. This seemingly innocuous venture ended in blood when Amalia actually managed to catch Lea, who, although he had stopped singing, apparently still had to settle something with her. My patience finally snapped. I sent all of them in their rooms and let the Castle lock them in.

The sudden silence should have had a calming effect. I had expected to be able to breathe again. Instead, my eyes fell on the bright red drops of blood at my feet. Amalia had struck Lea's arm with a dagger without causing lasting damage. She could have tried to kill him, but she hadn’t. The only reason she didn’t keep Chem company.

I wasn’t at all good with this emotional stuff.

I sighed and squatted on the floor in front of the too-light red drops of Lea's blood. I reached out and touched the liquid. It was much hotter than my blood, even if it had been on the cold stone floor for a minute. I withdrew my hand slowly and the blood, stickier and firmer than mine, pulled a thread between the floor and my hand. I had seen Lea bleed before but didn’t take the time to analyse it.

I got up jerkily and turned away. Blood was nothing special and certainly nothing to think about for long. It flowed in all of us until it stopped. Yet the blood of those people I was responsible for seemed to be more significant.

I shook those thoughts off and tightened the grip around the sheet of paper in my left hand. The pain in my right one no longer just radiated in my arm, and it was getting harder and harder to hide it. I sighed and went to Takumi's room. Delaying the visit to him any longer would just make it more difficult when I finally went to him – or he hunted me down.

I raised my right hand to knock on his door, but decided against it at the last moment. He would be able to read the faintest hint of pain on my face and I didn’t have to complicate my situation any further.

With the paper in hand, I knocked on the heavy oak door with my left hand and waited for a response. When did I become so polite?

"Come in."

I opened the door and entered. Takumi was sitting at the head of his bed leaning over books, watching me with a mask of indifference.

"It seems I am the only one honouring our deal."

I raised an eyebrow as I dropped the paper on the foot of his bed and sat down next to it. "I didn’t do any handstands and didn’t use it the whole day."

"And I am sure it was not your own merit."  

"The body is a tool." I paused. Nausea rose in me and it took me a moment to get my breathing back in motion. How many times had I heard Melrose spit that sentence at me when I was injured or in one of her _lessons._ Or both.

"Maybe, but it is also the temple of your being. It deserves respect and care." The golden ribbons in Takumi's dark iris wound in graceful serpentine motions around itself, and I didn’t have to see the hint of compassion on his lips to know that he had seen the pain and disgust in my eyes.

"Every body carries the story of their lives." Takumi closed the book in his lap and laid it on the pile next to him with a slow motion. "A healer learns to read it." His eyes found mine, and no matter how neutral his features were, his eyes betrayed him. "Your body shows a story I would not wish for anyone."

I glanced aside, glaring furiously at the marble floor that peeked out between the carpet fringes.

I heard the movement, felt the bed moving and wasn’t surprised when I felt his hand on my forearm.

"No matter what you were taught, it was all a lie." He fell silent and gently squeezed my arm once.

Reluctantly, I raised my head and looked at him challengingly. "Do you think I'm not aware of that?"

"That is not my point." He released his hand from my arm and stood up. "You treat your body like an enemy, like a disobedient tool." He went to his desk and I stared at his back.

"I have seen your scars and how little attention you give to your injuries and pain." He turned and instead of a well-formed mask, he showed me real concern. "It scares me, my Queen."

I swallowed and avoided his gaze. It took me a lot of control to keep my breathing steady.

Wordlessly, Takumi turned back to his materials and I slumped back, blinking hot tears from my eyes and forcing myself to breathe quietly. I knew that Takumi heard me cry, but he kept working silently, allowing me to calm down gradually. I wiped my cheeks with my left hand and exhaled heavily. I wasn’t sure when I cried the last time, but it was years ago.

Only after I had calmed down did Takumi turn around to me again, carrying a tray to his bed and sitting down next to me. His features were relaxed, though I still saw the worry in his eyes.

I silently held out my hand to him as he unwrapped the bandage, soaked the compress on the burnt skin with a cold liquid, and then rewrapped the hand.

"Here." He handed me a glass with a milky liquid.

I eyed it for a moment and then drank the contents in one go. It tasted bitter and I grimaced in disgust.

Takumi's lips twitched as if to smile and took the glass back. "It will relieve the pain and help you sleep."

I nodded and got up. "Thank you."

Takumi nodded and glanced at the sheet of paper at the foot of the bed. "Who did you want to write to?"

I roughly summarized what had happened today, watching the band's movements in his eyes while he was otherwise listening to the narrative motionlessly. Together, we rewrote the answer. Takumi suggested a first place where he would wait for the King's Front to bring them into the forest. I was reluctant to let him go alone, but he was right to insist that he alone had greater chances of survival.

"Okay." I scanned the letter one last time. _Dear Benedict, as I don’t want to postpone a meeting between us, I expect you and representatives of the King's Front tomorrow afternoon for a conversation on a neutral ground._ Besides the coordinates for the meeting, Takumi and I had agreed on some courtesies. Even though I understood why it made sense to play this game according to the rules of political courtesy, I fucking hated it.

"I can..."

"It's okay." I gave Takumi a reassuring look and realized too late that my lips had decided to smile honestly.

Takumi raised an eyebrow and nodded. "Rest."

"Likewise." I left his room and walked back to the entrance hall and the stone basin in which I placed the letter. On the edge of it were the necessary symbols carved into the stone. With chalk, I wrote the coordinates in the intricate symbols. The letter stirred, as if moved by the wind. Then it was gone.

I turned and made my way back to my room. No matter what was in the potion of Takumi, the pain in my hand was just a dull throb. My arms and legs felt warm in a comfortable way and I my thoughts were slowing down.

Without my help, my feet led me to Lea's room. I reached out my uninjured hand and laid it on the stone wall while I asked the Castle to unlock the barrier for all the Paien. I felt the now familiar pull in my stomach and patted the cold stone before I opened the door, this time without knocking.

Lea lay across his bed, one arm bent over his face. He had recently showered; his hair was still wet. He didn’t look up when I walked in, or when I walked past him into the bathroom. I undressed, wrapped a plastic bag provided by the Castle around my bandaged hand, knotted it with my free hand and my teeth, and took a shower.

I stood under the hot water for a long time, trying to concentrate on the relaxation of my muscles. When I was sure that all tell-tale spurs had been washed from my face, I dried myself, pulling the plastic bag from my hand, and slipped into the sky-blue pyjamas with the sleeping puppies on the front. I went back to Lea’s bedroom. I had given up to try to persuade the Castle to give me other clothes. It wasn’t worth the trouble.

"I'm fine." Lea sat cross-legged on his bed watching me. "It's just a scratch. Lia didn’t want to kill me."

"I know."

"Did Takumi give you something?" Lea's mouth twitched as I shot him an angry look, or tried to, for I was sure it was as ineffective and unsteady as my pronunciation thanks to Takumi’s potion.

"Lie down, Cass, before you fall over." He shifted sideways and I slipped under the heavy blanket. Had it always been so heavy?

The mattress moved as Lea placed himself next to me. I wasn’t here because I worried about his arm, but because I didn’t want to leave him alone with his thoughts. I tried to open my eyes again, but they were too heavy.

"I didn’t know..." The words came slowly and indistinctly over my lips and I heard Lea turn to me.

"What didn’t you know?" He asked softly, as if speaking to a sick child.

"I am a Paien." I was too tired to recognize or really feel the emotions that were about to fight upwards. The blanket of warmth and equivalency that enveloped me was too thick.

"I know." Lea exhaled heavily.

"...have to study..."

"Takumi will help you with that."

"Too old..."

"You can always learn magic, if you have the talent."

Something about his tone bothered me. Before I could understand what, I was asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm so thankful for every single one of you!


	17. Too Compassionate and Fucking Tender-Hearted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes bad things happen to good people
> 
> (Warning: I cried writing this. There is death involved in this chapter.)

I woke with a start. This couldn’t be fucking happening. As if to assure me it indeed could be fucking happening, the bell rang once again.

Lea and I sat upright in his bed, blades at the ready. My thundering pulse rushed through my brain, demanding that I needed to fight or flee.

“Why?” Lea wailed and let himself fall back into the cushions. His blade reflected the harsh light blinding me even more.

I glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed heavily. It was 3:37 in the morning. This was it. If the Paien who called me to this ungodly hour weren’t flayed alive, I would do it.

My head still spun and I presumed the drowsiness that remained was probably from whatever Takumi had given me a couple hours before. My own blades lay heavily in my hands. The pain repressed by the adrenaline spiking through my blood.

How difficult would it be to hide in my room, ignoring the demand for help? If it was a demand for help and not – again – a trap to kill me. Or worse, an invitation to exchange pleasantries. But what if it was a cry for help? Why should I care?

I closed my eyes in defeat as I realised not even I believed that I could ignore it. Sometime in the last week, my brain had been wrecked. Or my conscious had awoken – either way it didn’t matter. I wouldn’t ignore a plea for help. Shouldn’t I be happy about it? While I was trying to survive Melrose’s _care,_ I helped Paien as well as I could as an act of rebellion. Had I helped all of them just as a _fuck you_ to Melrose? If so, I was at least as bad as the Bloody Rose, if not worse.

No.

Ignoring Lea’s mumbled curses, I pushed myself out of bed. I had spent two thirds of my life as the incarnation of death itself to most of the Paien I met. But I was free now. Free from those who claimed me as their blood, who forced me to shred my soul again and again. I would never get the blood I spilled off my hands, but I could try to save more life’s than I had taken.

“Get up.” My voice sounded hollow and Lea’s volcanic eyes snapped to mine, serious and alert. I didn’t try to hide the mixture of disgust – for letting the lies I had been taught get the better of me. Neither did I hide the determination to be my own person. He would understand. Right now, it didn’t matter whether or not the runes of the Queen influenced me. I would have to sort that out another time. I would try to save as many Paien as I could before I vacated the throne and let Lea handle the fate of Paien-kind.

Lea read the resolution on my face and smiled. It was somewhere between his troublemaker smile and the knowing serious one.

“As you wish, my Queen.”

A cold shiver run down my spine, resonating with the icy fear in the back of my mind that insisted I was just a puppet doing what the Queen’s magic demanded.

Without responding, I left his room and headed to my own. While I changed in heavy black clothes, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror wall. The dark purple shadows under my eyes matched the colour of them. Lovely. I braided my hair with practised ease before stuffing it under the heavy pullover the Castle had provided me with.

I armed myself not only with daggers, knifes and the short sword that I could settle comfortably between my shoulder blades, but also with stunning arrows. These were the ones I used against Chem and their counterparts. They weren’t as effective on Paien without the elements of fire or water, but useful enough.

Lea, Amalia and Victor, all dressed in black, waited for me as I stepped out of my study. Lea smiled happily, leaning relaxed against the far wall. His eyes twinkling mischievously whenever he glanced at Amalia. She didn’t even seem to notice him – or me for that matter. Her face was blank and as lifeless as a statue’s. The only hint of her being still alive was the throbbing pulse on her left temple and her eyes of eternal darkness.

Victor ignored both of them and the potential of another squabble that would end in blood. He seemed as determined as I was, his hands balled into fists at his side. As if he tried to stop himself from doing… something. I should keep an eye on him.

“Anakleto and Lucian went ahead, as did Takumi to draw the Circle. Richard is probably already there to get the inquiry.” That was more than likely.

“Does anyone want to bet? I say it’s another attempt on your life, Queen.” Lea lilted with a joyful smile, while he sidestepped as to avoid an attack from Amalia.

“If they aren’t in mortal danger when we arrive, they will be dead when we leave.”

“Spoken like a true Dragonslayer.” Victor’s voice was cold, even though he didn’t disagree.

“Queen!” Rick rushed to me the second I stepped into the entrance hall. “A family asks for help! They’re under attack!”

“From whom?” Victor demanded, before I could ask him.

“It doesn’t say.”

“The Circle is ready. We can leave immediately.” The golden ribbons in Takumi’s eyes whirled around themselves in hectic movements as he locked eyes with me. “Do not use your hand, Cass.”

I held his gaze for a few seconds without answering. I would try to spare it, but I couldn’t promise him I wouldn’t use it.

“Let’s get going.” Lea pushed me in the middle of the Circle and pressed his warm back against mine while the other positioned themselves around us. Amalia, who hadn’t even so much as glanced at me – very mature – stood to my right, while Takumi flanked my left.

I gripped the hilt of one of my blades with my left hand and nodded.

We materialised on a kind of platform of uneven rock. Heavy clouds concealed the moon, and I would have been unaware of the trees to my right and the cliff to my left if it hadn’t been for the blazing fire eating at a two-story house and the surrounding trees a few hundred meters downhill.

Panicked screams pierced through the roaring of the fire.

We moved as one. Amalia ran to the flames farthest from the house, while the rest of us sprinted downhill towards the screams.

Lea ran beside me, shooting me a warning glare. He and Takumi suspected more behind my burned hand and he wouldn’t give me any chance for another slip up.

Breathing became more challenging with every new step. The scalding heat burned my lungs, but I didn’t reduce my tempo.

“Firebombs!” Rick cried and Lea swore violently.

I had no time to ask what they meant because another piercing scream sounded.

“Look-out!” Lucian cried from behind as Lea tackled me to the ground. A slender birch tree, ablaze with flames, toppled over and nearly hit us.

Ignoring the pain thrumming in my hand, I pushed myself up, dragging Lea with me. From here I couldn’t see the house, but we couldn’t be far. Lucian and Anakleto hadn’t slowed down and disappeared behind a few trees, followed by Victor and Rick. Takumi had stopped to make sure we were alright.

“It’s natural fire.” Lea hissed, glaring at the flames. “It isn’t controlled by fire Paien and fuelled by firebombs. They’ll burn everything down, themselves included.”

“Can you control it?” We started to run after the others. Sweat ran down my back and I felt the sting of overheated flesh.

“Yes, but it will be a pain in the ass.” His voice was strained and I dared to glance at him, risking to trip over a root and break my neck. His volcanic eyes were alight with fury. “And it will take more time than we have.”

Before I could answer, we stepped into the clearing and nearly ran into the others. The house in front of us was ablaze; flames climbed twice as high as the two-story building. No one besides fire Paien would be able to survive that.

In front of it stood an elderly woman. She hadn’t noticed us yet. She pressed something to her chest and stepped from one food to the other, as if she wanted to run back into the house even though it would have been her death. I couldn’t be sure in the flickering light of the flames, but I guessed she was a stone-ish Paien. Her features seemed carved in her grey face.

I pushed towards her, ignoring Anakleto’s and Lucian’s attempt to stop me. Lea was right beside me, even though I couldn’t feel the heat of his touch. Sweat was forming on my forehead and running down my back.

“Who is inside?”

As soon as the woman saw us, she stepped back and pressed the moving bundle closer to her chest. A small fist grabbed at her sooth blackened night gown and a high-pitched cry pierced my eardrums. Her dark eyes scurried over us before they settled on me again.

“My daughter, son-in-law and their two kids.” Her voice was raw and her eyes shone with panic and hope. “You need to…”

“Victor, Lea!”

They moved as one, running towards the roaring flames without hesitation. If anyone could survive the flames it was them – and Rick. But we didn’t know whether the arsonists were still around. If they were, we might need him with us.

“Where are the attackers?” I demanded and took another step closer to her. She didn’t seem burned, but soot covered most of her face and night gown.

“Probably by the mines.” She pointed farther down the hill. Her hand was shaking and her eyes darted back to the burning house.

“Rick, Anakleto, Lucian!”

They hesitated for just a second before Lucian started running and Anakleto and Rick followed him. I was pretty sure they hadn’t paused because they didn’t want to catch those assholes, but they knew me well enough to suspect me to do something stupid. As Takumi was the one staying behind with me, they must have been reassured that I couldn’t do something _too_ demented. Well, we’d see about that.

“Are you injured?” Takumi stepped closer to the old woman. His voice was calm and kind.

“No, I don’t think so.”

He nodded as I took a step towards the burning flames of what must have been a charming home ten minutes ago. I knew that I couldn’t help them, and that I would probably die before I could even find one of them. That didn’t change my need to do something. I could have gone with the others – in fact that would have been way smarter – but I couldn’t bear to leave as long as there were still Paien in that fiery hell.

“May I see the child?” Takumi’s hand closed around my wrist like a vice while he addressed the woman in a soft voice. “Your majesty, would you be so kind and hold it?”

I met his gaze and bit back the curses. There wasn’t a single reason for me to hold the child while he examined it other than to stop me from doing what would certainly be a stupid ass plan.

The grandmother’s eyes twitched between us back and forth and again to the house that was engulfed in flames. There was no way anyone beside someone with the element of fire and – hopefully – a very powerful water Paien could survive in it. Even here, nearly fifty meters away, the air was only barely breathable.

Hesitantly, she handed me the crying child. She didn’t seem to be pleased about it, but she did it none the less. Her hands were shaking so badly, I was surprised she hadn’t dropped the kid by now.

Takumi unwrapped the child gingerly, mumbling soothing words. It was a baby of maybe six months in a pink body suit. I clutched it closer to my chest, mimicking the movement of the old woman. Carefully, Takumi moved every limb and palpated every inch of visible skin before his lips formed a relieved smile.

“She is unharmed.” With a gentle movement, he wiped off a little of the sooth covering her face. “It would be wise to step farther back.” He led us a few metres away, but I saw his worried glances back to the house. The parents and siblings of the little girl were still trapped in what had been their home. And so were Lea and Victor. Even if Lea couldn’t be hurt by flames or smoke, that wasn’t true for Victor. He could shield against fire, but was it enough against this?

Without thinking about it, I cradled the girl in my arms and mumbled reassuringly in her ear. How long had they been in there? How long had it been before we arrived? The girl quieted down and I looked at her grandmother. She stared at the house as if she could extract her family by sheer willpower, wringing her hands constantly.

“Here.” I stepped to her and put the little girl in her outstretched arms. The baby had stopped crying, too exhausted to stay awake any longer. Even though I could see how careful she held her granddaughter, it was hard for me to let go of the kid. Not every grandmother was as horrific as mine was. My eyes snapped back to the fire. Not every family was as horrifying as mine was.

A shadow moved through the flames and I run towards it before Takumi could stop me. Lea stepped outside, carrying a dripping wet child in his arms, followed by a dripping wet man, stumbling behind him.

“Victor is looking for the others!” Lea pushed the boy into my arms, his volcanic eyes burning with hatred. “He doused them so that I could take them outside.”

Takumi had reached the man and guided him towards his mother in law.

“The kid is hurt.” The catch in Lea’s voice was enough to raise my pulse. For just a moment panic and pain spread over his face. “I’m going back.” He turned and ran back into the all-consuming flames.

“Takumi!” I yelled while carrying the boy to a safe distance, where I lowered him carefully on the hard ground.

Takumi knelt down on the other side of the boy and checked for vital signs. He ripped the scorched shirt of the small chest. Severe burns covered most of the left part of the little body. His arm and leg were nothing more than blisters, raw and burned flesh.

I ignored the throaty whimper behind me and followed every order of Takumi as good as I could. With a casual hand gesture, he summoned something like a first aid kit, but I didn’t need to be a healer to know that it wouldn’t be enough. Takumi would need to take the boy back to the Castle.

“Help!” Victor’s frantic scream startled me and I looked back to the burning house. He was running to us, carrying another tiny body in his arms. Behind him I saw Lea carrying an unmoving woman with horrific wounds. Both were dripping wet, but their clothes smoked, as did Lea’s and Victor’s.

“She isn’t breathing!” Victor threw himself down beside me and placed the girl beside her brother.

“Cass, monitor him.” Takumi pushed Victor away and started to revive the child. I tried to ignore the limb movements of the unresponsive girl. I had seen my fair share of CPR’s, but never before on a child. It seemed wrong that someone as young as that small kid should need it.

I tried to ignore the gut wrenching sobs as well. The mother was dead. Her name must have been Celia, as the father cried that name over and over again while holding her body. Lea stood with the crying man while holding the swaying grandmother upright.

I focused my eyes back on the small boy before me. I had placed my left hand gingerly on a part of his unhurt chest. He was breathing and I felt the faint but steady heartbeat. But he needed further help. He wasn’t bleeding, but his wounds needed treatment.

Takumi exhaled and I knew. His hands stopped compressing the little chest and he lowered his head. I closed my eyes, unable to stop the agony piercing my chest.

“Cass!”

My head snapped up. Lea was supporting the unconscious grandmother, while also holding the baby that lay in her arms. I jumped up and took the yet again crying girl from the limp arms, pressing her to my chest.

Lea lowered the old woman gently to the ground. I turned away from his blank face, knowing to well what he tried to hide. Takumi was kneeling beside the boy while Victor laid the dead girl in the arms of her father. He had stopped crying and clung apathetic to his daughter and wife.

“We need to move them to the Castle.” Takumi’s eyes bore into mine. His face was smudged with sooth and sweat and showed the same detachment as Victor’s and Lea’s displayed. As I did.

“Extinguish the fire.” My voice was filled with ice that not even the flames behind me could melt.

“I need Leander.” The gold ribbons in his pupils moved in a fast and jagged swirl. He didn’t add that even with help, the boy’s chances were shit.

“I’ll stay with…”

“Lea!” He looked at me and I ignored the dark churn in my stomach. I took a step closer to him, but Takumi stopped me.

“You need to look after the baby.” His voice sounded dead, and my gaze jumped back to the unmoving boy on the ground. He was right. There was no way they could take care of her while saving his life.

I met Lea’s gaze and knew that he wouldn’t argue anymore. I wouldn’t risk the child. I wouldn’t do something stupid as long as I had to care for her. Planned or not, Takumi had just ensured that I would stay safe.

“I’ll stay with her.” Victor’s voice was rough, but the other two nodded at him before he turned and ran back to fight the fire.

I knelt down and started drawing the Circle with my injured hand, keeping the hiccupping baby-girl with the other one safe. I heard Lea trying to talk the grieving man into coming with them to the Castle. He didn’t respond.

As I stepped back, Takumi carried the boy and Lea the grandmother into the Circle. I sent them back to the Castle. The man hadn’t moved and I let him sit where he was, clutching what was left of his wife and oldest daughter.

I looked back at Victor, who tried to summon water to extinguish the flames with little success. I couldn’t help him or the father. My gaze wandered back to where we came from. The fire hadn’t spread – in fact it was gone. I couldn’t follow Rick and the others as long as I had the baby with me, so I would look for Amalia.

I sat down in the grass, placed the small girl in my lap and took off the outer pullover. I was so hot the singlet would be enough to fight off the cold air if Victor could extinguish the flames and we felt the cold again. I wrapped one sleeve over my right shoulder and the other under my left arm, knotting them tightly together. I pulled on the fabric until the knot was on my back and knotted the hem of the pullover together. It wasn’t fool proof but the best I could do at the moment.

I looked back at the tiny Paien in my lap. Tear streaks were clearly visible on the sooty face. Gingerly, I placed a finger under her nose and felt the warm draft of her breath. She was okay. Too exhausted to stay awake any longer, but okay.

Carefully, I lifted her up, slipping her in the neckline of the sort-of-carrier and arranged her until I could support her comfortably with my right arm. I pushed myself up and drew a dagger with my left hand. I wouldn’t go looking for – or provoke – a fight, but I wanted to be armed. Just in case.

A soft sound stopped me in my movement. Grey eyes blinked wearily up at me as I looked down. A small fist grabbed some of my singlet as she closed her eyes again, whimpering a single tone. Hot rage and icy despair singed my veins as I pressed her tiny body closer to mine. She didn’t know what happened. Nor would she remember this day. She wouldn’t remember her mother or her sister. She would grow up with stories of this night and a spot of emptiness in her soul.

“You’ll be fine,” I muttered hoarsely to her, letting my lips touch her soft hair for just a second. She would be fine. I would make sure of that. Heavy determination clung to me like shackles, binding me to this girl and through her to the fucking responsibility I didn’t want. Melrose had been right all along. I was too soft. Too caring. Too compassionate and fucking tender-hearted, but I didn’t care. She would be fine. She would live. Not survive, fighting every single day against death and the lingering wish to succumb to it, but live. Happily, and with hope.

It hadn’t been more than twenty minutes since we arrived here. Still, something had changed. It had settled and I would have to live with it.

Victor seemed to slowly make progress. He had started to work on the trees surrounding the house, stopping the flames from spreading farther.

With flowing strides, I followed the path through the trees we had come. Without the flickering light of the flames, it took me a minute to see in the surrounding darkness. The cold air was a welcome change and I enjoyed being able to breath actual air. Carefully watching every step, I went on. I wasn’t stupid enough to shout Amalia’s name in the nocturnal silence and tell whoever else might be in this woods that I was coming.

I crouched down, protecting the bundle of Paien in my arm when I saw a movement in the shadows. A heartbeat later I recognised the silver streak as Amalia’s skin, or her arm to be more precise. I tried to decipher more from where I was hiding, but all I saw was Amalia laying on the ground, her face pressed into her crossed arms.

I hesitated for a moment. If she had lost control my hiding place wouldn’t do me any good, but if I disturbed her while she was wrestling the Nothingness for control, she might lose. I didn’t want to hide and I wouldn’t have, if it weren’t for a small hand clutching my shirt and a flattering heartbeat pressed to my chest. I had never been cautious. Most of the times I hadn’t been suicidal, but wishing to die or actively trying to take your life was something different than just not caring. Even with Shane right by my side it had been hard to actually care about my life, but since he vanished it had become harder and harder to care about what happened to me. The only thing close to common sense in dangerous situations had been my trained reflexes and a promise.

Right now, something different obliged me to be careful.

Accepting that I did something that could actually be described as logical and smart, I stayed quiet and waited for another sign from Amalia that it was _safe_ to approach her. I suppressed a violent shudder. If I didn’t stop soon, I really would start wearing silk dresses and throwing flowers all around me while singing songs to the wildlife. Hadn’t I suffered enough? Would I have to endure such a horror?

Amalia lifted herself up with great effort and concluded my thoughts. She panted and I could see her trembling.

“Amalia?” I stood up slowly and started to walk towards her. Her face was beaded with sweat, her eyes never ending abysses of eternal darkness. As her eyelids fluttered shut, I turned my back on her.

“You okay?”

“Peachy,” She rasped, but I could hear her standing up. “You can turn around.”

I looked back at her, my arms protectively around the baby girl before my chest.

“How does it come that _you_ always end up with the children?” Her voice was too faint to express the disgust creeping into her features.

“Let me think about it.” I stepped closer to her, glaring at her viciously. “Her mother and sister are dead. Her father is catatonic. Her grandmother is probably still unconscious and her brother was taken back to the Castle by Takumi and Lea.” I forced myself to breath, to calm down. “The others are searching for the attackers and Victor tries to extinguish the house.” I felt the prickling of magic ripple over my skin, felt rage and helpless anger rise up, set to explode. Amalia and I still had differences to settle and truth be told we both would have liked to settle it by drawing blood. But we didn’t know what consequences that would have. It could kill her and what would I tell her brothers then? I provoked her until she snapped and tried to kill me so the Queen’s magic finished her off?

The other reason was a nearly seven-kilogram baby sleeping in my arms.

Amalia’s gaze settled on the girl and her face showed nothing but exhaustion. She didn’t seem to be hurt, but feeding the Nothing with that much power and then control it must have been strenuous.

“Do you have siblings?” She didn’t look at me, her voice blank.

I really didn’t want to get into that topic right now. Or ever. “I fled from everything I knew, left everything and everyone behind. Do you really think I had a close and loving relationship with my family?”

“I would do anything for my brothers.” Pain laced every word, deep and raw. I wanted to snap at her, that, yes, I fucking knew that. She had sworn her freaking life to a Queen she didn’t like – even though she must have _known_ that I wouldn’t have punished them. I knew damn well that she would do anything to keep them save. I knew that she would have killed herself to spare them, and that she would have tried to kill all of us if she had to. But now she wouldn’t be able to make that choice again, was she? She would have to follow the Queen’s magic because she had stupidly thrown her life away. As if her life didn’t mean anything. As if freedom didn’t mean anything.

I forced my body to obey, to calm my jagged breathing and thundering heartbeat and to quiet my murderous rage. She had had every reason to want life. She had brothers that she loved and freedom, a life to be lived like she wanted to. She even could have helped stop the war without giving up what I had wished for my entire life. But she had thrown it away because of fear.

“I wouldn’t have hurt them.”

Amalia looked at me, still presenting her emotionless mask that I started to hate. “How could I have been sure?”

Rationally thinking, I knew she had a point. We knew each other just over a week and I was a bloody Dragonslayer. But I hadn’t killed her. I had cared for her and she had… Why on earth should she trust me? There wasn’t a single reason to trust a Dragonslayer, especially with those you love.

“We need to get back.” I turned on the spot and walked back to the house. Amalia caught up with me and walked silently beside me.

Victor’s attempt to stop the flames from expanding farther had worked. The ruins of the house were still smouldering and burning in some places, but the trees around them were doused with water and hadn’t caught fire. He sat nearby the man, still clutching the lifeless bodies of his wife and daughter.

“Cass!” Victor stood up abruptly as he saw us approaching, relief washing over his face before it was replaced with anger. “Where were you?”

“I looked for Amalia.” I nodded in her general direction. “Did you hear anything from the others?”

“No.” He glanced to the far end of the clearing. “We should get you out of here regardless.”

I raised an eyebrow and stared at him. “You’re joking. Without me, they have no way of…”

“They can send a letter!” He snapped. “You…”

The girl in my arms started crying softly, interrupting his rant.

“Shhh. You’re alright, Love,” I mumbled to the tiny creature in my arms, rocking her gently while shooting a deadly glare at Victor. The broken man on the ground still didn’t react.

“I’m going to look for them.” Amalia’s voice was as hard as ever, rid of every emotion.

“You’re exhausted. What good would you do them?” I whispered in an attempted nice voice that failed miserably, but at least didn’t startle the baby.

“As is Victor. And you are not going.” She said it with a finality that triggered an uncontrollable rage in me, bubbling to the boiling point in under 0.1 seconds. I stood toe to toe with her, pressing my dagger at her unprotected throat. The coldness of her body seeped into the arm that held the baby, pressed between us. But even the girl wasn’t enough to mute my bloodlust.

“I couldn’t care less that I am _your_ Queen, but you will not dictate what I can or cannot do.” I hissed maliciously. “I would do anything to be free. To make my own choices. And I certainly would cut your…”

“Cass…” Victor stepped closer, his hands raised. The bright light in his pupils seemed to add to the shock on his face and stopped me in my blind rage.

I stepped back, grabbing at my crumbling control and forcing my mind to form intelligible thoughts. Amalia was bound by magic; she needed to protect me. She wasn’t Melrose. She wasn’t… I bit hard on my lip, ignoring the coppery taste of blood as I slipped the dagger back in its sheath. I would have killed her. I would have regretted it, would have hated me for slipping up – for killing someone that I considered to be…

I forced myself to look at her, to stare at the pools of Nothing, at her red painted lips and her emotionless expression.

“I am sorry.”

I stared at her as if she had grown another head with baby-blue eyes and a cheery smile on its lips. Her demeanour hadn’t changed – I was convinced the world would stop spinning the second it would – but her voice had been earnest.

“I should not have sworn loyalty to you. Neither should I try to order you around.”

Something cold and heavy formed in the back of my throat, bitter and hurtful. She was right of course. She shouldn’t have. I couldn’t explain the lingering suffocation, couldn’t explain what cut of my air or why it hurt. My arms tightened around the little girl in my arms.

“I will not trigger you again.”

Ice ran through my veins and I couldn’t have moved if I had wanted to. Lea wouldn’t have told her anything, but I must have been too open. My mind ran through everything that happened the past days and what I had told her. I could have kicked myself then and there, realising how much I had shown, how much of myself I had revealed to all of them.

“As freedom means as much to you as my brothers mean to me, I felt it would be the greatest gesture. What they did needed to be corrected.”

“I assume you didn’t mean it as an insult?” If she had guessed what I would do, what I had done to be free, how could she have thought forsaking her own freedom would be something I would appreciate? In fact, how could she fucking stand there and tell me it was my fucking fault that she bound herself to me?

Amalia’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “With me at your service, you…”

“I don’t want _anyone_ at my service!” I hissed while simultaneously stepping back. This wasn’t the time. This was _not the time_. It hurt, to breathe evenly, to command my heartbeat to slow – but it didn’t work. Regardless, I ordered myself to at least pretend I was in control of my emotions. Of myself.

“We need to look for the others,” I growled out, making it clear that the other topic was off. Possibly forever and ever, Amen.

Before either of them could tell me that of course I couldn’t bring an infant in a possible deadly conflict – and that I obviously had lost it at last – we were interrupted.

Loud shouts resounded from the trees, mostly the calling of a few names like Brigitte, Ernst and Celia. I didn’t mind that the family must have called for more backup than just the Queen but apart from their lack of tactical fines couldn’t they had interrupted us five minutes earlier, before I had embarrassed myself?

“Another trap?” Victor positioned himself in front of me, as did Amalia.

They must have come from the same platform we had come from. There were at least six people judging by the racket they made while running through the forest.

“I don’t think so.” It didn’t change that I also pulled my dagger again, ignoring that I had threatened to cut Amalia’s throat mere minutes ago. I ignored the burning hatred, shame and a nameless fear I had repressed for years. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!
> 
> Special thanks to my lovely friend and incredible patient beta reader Anna! You rock, girl!


	18. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Promises are darker than others... some are more desperate.

“How is he?”

Takumi didn’t react but Lea raised his head, his face blank. Sweat beads glistened on his forehead and his shoulders were cramped. They should have heard us, but it seemed that Takumi hadn’t. I took another step closer, my arms still protectively around the small baby girl sleeping on my chest.

Amalia and Victor hadn’t left my side for a second. As if it was still likely for me to find a way to harm or kill myself.

Takumi’s eyes were closed, and his hands lay gently on the small chest of the unconscious boy. Even though I didn’t see anything, I felt the magic moving around them.

I stepped silently back, locking eyes with Lea, who held my gaze for several seconds, before looking back down to the boy. His name was Tino, a cheerful five-year-old, as his aunt Beate had told me. The sleeping girl in my arms was Mia and their older sister had been Barbara, after their great grandmother.

I nearly jumped when Takumi disrupted the silence.

“Is anyone hurt?”

“No.” Lucian, Anakleto and Rick got a few cuts, but nothing too bad and they had agreed, that they wouldn’t bother Takumi with it tonight. This morning. I looked at the clock on the far wall and suppressed a heartfelt groan. It was nearly six in the damn morning. It had taken some convincing of the family members who came to the rescue that we would take Mia with us and would keep her, Brigitte (the grandmother) and Tino with us for the time being. The discussion had been cut short – thank whoever wanted credit for it – when Lucian, Anakleto and Rick came back reporting that they killed four attackers.

The relatives had promised to take care of the father – Ernst – and the house. I couldn’t care less at the moment. We were supposed to meet the King’s Front in about four hours and there was no way in hell we wouldn’t try to kill all of them if we met them with no sleep and a dead child on our conscious.

“I’ll write a letter to the King’s Front. Tell them we have to reschedule.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Lea’s voice was blank and hollow.

“If we meet them without sleep, it will be a disaster.” Chances were already stacked against us. “I tell them we’ll meet at 4pm for tea.”

“Cass…” Lea started, but raising my eyebrow was enough to silence him.

“Takumi, do you have any paper?” Amalia stepped forward, ignoring my glance. She seemed paler than usual and the dark circles under her eyes were a good indication how exhausted she was.

“Of course.” Takumi stepped aside to his desk and handed her a sheet of paper and a grey pen. “My Queen, you can hand me the girl.” His movements were smooth and controlled, but exhaustion clung to him.

“No.” My answer was harsher than I meant it to be. “You have to look after Tino. I’ll take care of Mia.”

“I’ll stay with him.” Amalia glanced at me before locking eyes with Takumi. “You need to rest.”

She was right. Takumi would need his strength. We all needed it. I closed my eyes briefly and concentrated on the warm bundle laying heavily in my arms.

“Victor, would you tell the others that we meet at two…” But I was interrupted by Lea.

“One pm. We still need to plan a few things.”

“Okay, one pm.”

“Sure.” Victor hesitated for a moment before he left the room. His footprints were grey with ash.

“You should put the girl to bed, my Queen.” Takumi’s voice was gentle and laced with fatigue, but I still saw the twinkle of mischief in his dark eyes with the slowly moving golden ribbons. He would use Mia as a reason for me to do or not do things as long as he could. I should have expected that.

“I help you.” Lea stepped to my side and pushed me gently out of the room.

“Will he survive?” My voice sounded lifeless even to my own ears.

Lea took a long time before he opened his mouth. “Yes.” The silence that followed was even darker. “We will know more of his… injuries when he wakes up. 

I nodded, ignoring the stabbing pain in my chest. It would probably take months until he could walk again. That is, _if_ he would be able to walk again. I pressed my face down on the small head and breathed in the sweat scent of small person – and of ashes.

Lea opened the door and I followed him into my room. All I wanted to do was lay down and forget everything. One glance at the soot covered girl convinced me other things were more important.

“Castle, do you have a jumper for Mia?” I ignored Lea’s look and stepped into my bathroom. “Give me a second.” I didn’t wait for a response as I closed the door behind me.

Mia was still sleeping. With careful movements I stripped her and gave her a once over. She was fine, not that I had doubted Takumi. Balancing her with one arm, I awkwardly stripped myself and stepped into the pool in the floor. The water was warm, but not too hot for the girl. I hoped. I ignored the burning of my hand. I hadn’t even felt it until now.

Tenderly, I washed Mia’s fragile body. One drop of water ran down her face, but she didn’t react. Once more I checked her breathing. She was just sleeping. I closed my eyes for a moment and laid the small body over my heart, holding her there with one hand while washing myself with the other. Her warmth seemed to seep into me.

“Cass, are you okay?” Lea’s guarded voice was muffled by the closed door.  

“Yes.” How long had I been laying in the warm water, feeling the silky skin of the small body and watching her breath? I stood up and looked over to where the Castle had materialised towels, diapers, and a pink body with thrills for Mia, with a matching Pyjama for me. I was too exhausted to care. It took me some time to dry and dress Mia and even more to dress myself.

Lea stood with crossed arms beside the door. He looked as worn-out as I felt. Soot covered his face and clothes, but his hands and arms were clean. Takumi would have made him wash up as good as possible.

“Take a shower, Lea.” I nodded towards the open door and stepped aside.

He glanced at me, clearly weighing his options and trying to read me. I must have been in there for a long time. When he didn’t find what he was looking for, he stepped into the bathroom and closed the door.

Gingerly I put Mia down in the middle of my bed and built a safe space with cushions around her. I didn’t know much about babies, but they slept without blankets. At least I was pretty sure they did. Was it normal that she was still sleeping? Cautiously I put one finger under her nose and felt the warm air hit my skin.

I climbed into the bed, put the blanket over me and laid one arm beside her. She shouldn’t feel alone. She needed to know I was there.

I woke when Lea lay down. He had turned off the lamps and the first light of dawn put the room in shadows, letting me see nothing more than outlines and his glowing volcanic eyes. My gaze fixed on the outline of Mia’s frail body lying peacefully between us.

“Were we too slow?”

“What?” Lea’s red glowing eyes opened again and fixed on me.

“Did we waste too much time? Could we have saved…”

“Cass.” His voice sounded older than it had the right to. I knew what he was going to say. Such questions were stupid. He didn’t know and neither did I. But it was probable. We could have saved Tino. We could have saved Barbara. As it was now, there was nothing we could do. Nothing we could change.

Why did I even ask those questions? I knew the answers. I knew nothing good could come from them. We didn’t kill them and that should be enough.

It wasn’t.

 

 

The shrill cry woke me with a start. I was bent over Mia before I had even opened my eyes. My head connected with something hard and Lea groaned. We had both jumped up to protect Mia and smacked our heads together violently. We were such heroes.

I pressed my injured hand to the throbbing point on my forehead and looked down on the upset girl flailing about.

“It’s okay, Mia.” I ignored the swelling on my head and lifted her out of her makeshift bed. Big tears were falling out of her grey eyes as she whined. I cradled her to my chest and muttered lies to her. It wasn’t okay. It wasn’t even bearable. “You are safe.” That wasn’t a lie. It couldn’t be. I wouldn’t fucking let it be.

“She’s probably hungry.” Lea was massaging his forehead with a grimace. He held a dagger in his free hand, and I realized I hadn’t gone for my weapons.

“You have no idea how to feed her, do you?” There was laughter in his voice, but I saw the strain. He didn’t look much better after – I glanced at the watch – two hours of sleep. What the hell? Two fucking hours?

“Do you?” Mia had calmed down a little, but she still whined and hiccupped while I caressed her.

“Nope. I was the baby brother. I barely know which end to hold up.”

“Okay, you are hereby forbidden to touch Mia.”

“If that’s the case, I better check on Takumi and ask what a baby eats.”

“I guess milk and mush.”

“Well, that’s a start.” Lea pushed himself up. “Do you need anything?” He looked pointedly at my hand.

“Later.”

He nodded reluctantly and left the room.

“You’re going to be okay,” I whispered to the upset girl in my arms. “I prom…” I faltered. This was stupid. For one, I had promised myself already that she was going to be fine – which was as stupid as it gets. Secondly, she didn’t understand a word I was saying. She was a baby. I could tell her the most horrific things I could imagine and she would be none the wiser. Thirdly, making the promise out loud didn’t change anything, so why couldn’t I say it? It had nothing to do with the fact that it was hella stupid, so…

A few minutes later Lea came back with a bottle and a small glass of what looked to be fruit-mush. Amalia and Takumi had apparently foreseen this situation, as Amalia – in Lea’s words – had felt the need to explain in excruciating detail what and how to feed a baby. They had experimented with the Castle until it gave them exactly what they needed and instructed it to bring us nothing else. That was probably the reason why it had given me a diaper without me asking for one.

Mia was still so upset, so she took a little convincing before she started suckling at the bottle. Tears glistened on her cheeks as she looked at me with her huge grey eyes.

“You should try to sleep a little more.” I looked up at Lea and attempted a reassuring smile. I wasn’t quite sure why I failed. It could be because I sucked at reassuring or because, in Lea’s words: “You look like shit.” He sat down beside me and sighed deeply. “It’s more important that you are-”

I raised an eyebrow and he stopped midsentence. He sighed again and slumped his shoulders. There was defeat written all over his body and in the way he averted his face. I knew I would see pain and desperation written across it in bold glowing letters. I also knew his pain even though I wouldn’t belittle his suffering by telling him so. My brothers were yet to try to assassinate me and sooner or later they would try. Lea's brother hadn't tried to kill him yet either.I didn’t love my brothers, not like Lea seemed to love his, but it wouldn’t change a damn thing. When they would try to kill me, it would hurt like hell. What would be worse? Being killed by them or having their blood on my hands?

I bit down hard on my lower lip, splitting the skin. It didn’t matter, because either way I wouldn’t back down. I wouldn’t let them kill me without a fight and I could take them both. Unlike Lea I had always known that my brothers and I would end up on opposite sites. I had always known that I could run or I could fight. There was no other way. I had run, hadn’t I? But this wouldn’t necessarily mean that I wouldn’t see them again. Especially if I would stay here a little longer. Not that I would, but…

A deep red drop splashed on Mia’s frilled jumper and I licked the blood from my lip. The copper didn’t help with my thoughts and seeing blood on this tiny person definitely didn’t help. This had never been the plan, but nothing went ever according to plan. A sadistic smile crept on my lips before I could banish it. If you didn’t believe me, ask the Bloody Rose. Seeing the disbelief on Melrose’s face when she realized her successor had become Queen of the Paien would be almost enough to risk a confrontation with my family. Killing her would be a challenge but it wouldn’t keep me up at night. Actually, I would probably sleep better knowing that the bitch was dead.

I glanced at Lea who hadn’t moved. Mia was still drinking the milky-whatever from the bottle, waving her arms happily.

“We’ll get through this,” I murmured and met his volcanic eyes when he looked up. There was no hope in my voice, no conviction. But I meant it and he knew. Sometimes nothing remains but your inability to give up. He was more resilient than I was. If someone would get through this it would be him. If he wanted to survive this; if there would still be something worth holding on to.

His eyes bore into mine, searching. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but there was nothing more that I could offer him. Hope was something that happened to other people. All I had was determination and a fuck-everything-attitude. 

“Promise me.”

“What?” I answered in the same hushed voice.

“Promise me that _we_ get through this.” Hopelessness laced every word.

“We will get through this, Lea. I promise you, we will.” I meant every word.

Lea nodded and one tear slipped from his eye, running down his cheek. I hadn’t known volcanos could cry, but I suppose you could learn something new every day.

Without thinking – and yes, I know that could be my slogan, thank you very much – I pressed my forehead against his, closing my eyes. I was still feeding Mia, holding her close, but Lea was suffering and he needed to know that he wasn’t alone.

His skin was warm, as it always was. I felt his trembling, and the touch of hot air grazing me when he exhaled. The throbbing near my temple reminded me of the bump I probably had. We stayed like this for a couple of minutes, just long enough for Lea to get himself under control again and to put his mask back in place.

He inhaled shakily and drew back. I sat upright again and eyed him cautiously. Everything but a sliver of despair was gone, hidden behind a weary smile.

“Thank you.”

I nodded noncommittally, ignoring the uproar of accusations in the back of my mind. What the hell was I doing? I wouldn’t stay forever. He was just a… just a what? Someone I knew? Someone with a shitty childhood I could relate to? The f word that rhymes with ‘end’ came to mind, but I wouldn’t even fucking think it.

“Cass.” He waited until I looked at him and his genuine smile. “Don’t you listen to anyone saying that you are anything but a ray of sunshine. A ray of hope.” There was nothing but truth in his words and the way he looked at me.

He had to be fucking kidding me. That was it. I would never be nice to anyone else ever again. I couldn’t deal with stuff like this.

To avoid whatever else he could dump on me, I looked down on Mia. She had finished the bottle and seemed happier than before.

“She needs to burp.” Lea’s attack of whatever had possessed him seemed to be over as he had his childlike smile back in place. Despair still lingered in his eyes.

I was actually proud of myself when I got Mia to burp and she fell asleep the second after. That feeling vanished when Lea pointed out gleefully that she had vomited on my shoulder. By now he was feeling better than I would wish him to as he started to torment me about the pink pyjama with the frills.

“Go to hell,” I snapped at him, laying Mia in his arms and retreating to the bathroom. I stepped under the shower and turned the water so hot my skin looked like boiled lobster when I finally stepped out. I dressed in black jeans and a red shirt, mostly because the Castle wouldn’t give me any other shirt no matter how much I begged. I tried to hide the previous night and the bump on my forehead with makeup but wasn’t too successful. After the third attempt I gave up, braided my hair and stepped out of the bathroom, carefully hiding my hand. It burned rather unpleasantly and one look under the bandage confirmed that Takumi’s instructions – to not burden it – would have been a very good idea. And as you know by now I _always_ listen to good ideas and then do whatever the hell I want. Takumi wouldn’t be pleased.

Lea was lying with closed eyes on the bed, a sleeping baby girl on his chest. I paused for just a minute. If he was sleeping I didn’t want to wake either of them; they could use all the rest they could get.

“How is your hand?” Lea’s words were softly spoken, but the look he gave me was hart as steel.

“Could be worse.” That is, if it had fallen off.

“Could be worse?” He tried to sit up without disturbing the sleeping baby and I watched silently while he struggled. When he realised this wasn’t going to work, he placed her carefully in the pillow-cage. His movements were as soft and caring as I had ever seen. I also saw the way the back of his hand grazed her cheek before he stood up and stepped directly in front of me.

“Do you know what I picture if you say ‘could be worse’?” He asked with just a hint of mockery. He held his hand out for me to place mine in it, but I didn’t.

“Takumi is going to throw a fit. I don’t need your judgment too.”

“Now you are scaring me, Cass.” He lightly grabbed my injured hand and waited just a fraction of a second before pulling it towards him. He pushed aside the already loosened bandage and hissed.

The burned flesh was evidently inflamed. Sore water and pus wetted the wound. Whatever healing process I had made was now obsolete and I was pretty sure it was worse than before.

I had been right; I really hadn’t needed his judgment. And Takumi did throw a fit. As did Amalia, although hers was even quieter than his and consisted mostly of heavy breathing and furious glances. Takumi, on the other hand, told me in a quiet tone – probably because Tino and Mia were in the room – that he thought me to be free of all thought and common sense. He also threatened to put me in a coma if I wouldn’t follow his instructions to the last letter. I probably shouldn’t have answered that I would rather die. After that all three of them glared daggers at me. As Lea was holding Mia, Amalia was sitting with Tino and Takumi was cleaning my wound, it wasn’t nearly as effective as it could have been.

I knew they were right. How could I doubt that when my hand looked like it was strait out of a medical lecture of worst case scenarios? But the fact that I knew they were right made it so much harder to admit it. I saw Takumi’s half hidden worry, and our talk about self-care still fresh in our memory. I guessed that behind Amalia’s rage was more than just annoyance, and Lea had actually said that he was worried. I could have taken threats, blame and pain. But worry? Compassion? It was hard enough to accept them as… Whatever they were. There was no reason for them to worry for me, except those thrice cursed runes on my arms. I concentrated on Amalia’s rage, ignoring whatever other feelings she might be hiding behind her fury. It was familiar. Soothing.

Takumi’s touches were gentler when I had expected. The cleaning of my wound hurt like hell, and I had thought he would tell me I deserved it. It was my fault, we all knew it. But he didn’t say anything. His touch was so feather light and careful I actually felt guilty. Hadn’t he told me he was afraid for me? Hadn’t he dumped more responsibility on me? The clenching fury failed to appear, as did anger and annoyance. All that remained was a heavy guilt on my shoulders and a foul taste in the back of my throat. Takumi had suffered enough, hadn’t he? I evaded his gaze, keeping my eyes on Mia, who slept peacefully in Lea’s arms.

“Cass?” Takumi’s voice, soft and reassuring, demanded my attention, and I wasn’t coward enough to back down. I looked up in his black eyes with the twirling ribbons of gold, knowing I’d see well-earned disappointment. I didn’t even realize it, couldn’t even explain it. But I, who took all my pride out of disappointing my family and out of doing everything they didn’t want me to do, actually feared to see it in his face. I’d known that Lea would be angry, but he understood partly. Takumi didn’t.

His face was mask less and it took me a moment to understand. It could be because I hadn’t anticipated it. Or that I hadn’t guessed he would drop his mask with others present. Or because I had seen this expression on only one face before. My heart dropped and something heavy and scoring hot burned my throat.

“I will put your hand in a bracer to abet the healing process. I beg you to use it.”

It would have been far less painful if he had amputated my hand with a dull butter knife than seeing his pain. Plain and open reflecting in his eyes and the set of his lips. Pain that I had caused because I had hurt myself. I hadn’t taken care and I didn’t feel the pain, not like they did. Definitely not like he thought I should or an unbroken person would feel it. Even now, I hurt others with what Melrose had done, and what I had consented to.

I had been wrong. I was coward enough. Without answering, I gingerly pulled my hand out of his, turned and fled. Pride, composure and courage could kiss my ass for all I cared. I needed to go and I needed to go now. Adrenaline and despair urged me to run. Run anywhere but here, where people dumped so much on me. Here where people who had no right to want anything from me. My chest was tight and there was not enough air. There was not enough room. Stone walls surrounded me, suffocating every thought that didn’t scream at me to fucking run. I tried so hard to cling to something. Anything rational and not screaming. Something… The pressure increased. On my shoulders, my chest, my heart, my mind. Gasping for oxygen, I started running.

The world was grey and almost something I remembered from a dream. I didn’t feel anything but the scorching weight of guilt burning more furiously with every oxygen-less breath I dragged into my lungs. My ears were filled with white noise and the gut-wrenching screams of those I’d hurt, killed, tortured. I could have protected by staying away, by killing myself.

Without warning I was stopped. I tumbled to the ground, hitting hard, and didn’t move. All energy had left me.

How long had the warmth surrounded my cold, stiff body? It was warmth that didn’t burn, didn’t consume or hurt. My thoughts were sluggish. I had no idea how much time passed, but it felt like an eternity I tried to gather enough energy to actually think, zo realize. To finally open my eyes.

Before I succeeded with the last, I remembered. Judging by the hard, uneven ground I half lay on and the wind caressing my skin, I had run outside. The person holding me was Lea. I knew this warmth. I knew his smell even though I had never thought about it. The scent of a bonfire on a summer night and burned caramel. Before I could slip back, I coerced myself to listen to his strong and steady heartbeat. It took me a while longer to realize that there was someone else with us.

When I finally opened my eyes, Lea smiled down at me, relived. He leaned against a tree, holding me with one arm, while holding Mia in place with the other, who was laying on my chest. She was a warm weight that had all the potential to crush me.

Moving my heavy arms was as much a challenge as looking at her. I knew what I’d done, to Takumi, Lea, and everyone I’d ever met.

The silky material of her pyjamas was real under my numb fingertips. Smooth, warm and real. So was her fluttering heartbeat.

Lea didn’t say a word. As soon as he was sure I held her, he let go of Mia and settled back against the tree he was leaning against. He had turned his head to give me some privacy. He was giving me the possibility to grab the broken shards of my mask and do something with it. Anything.

But I couldn’t. My mask felt like sand, streaming through my limb fingers. There was nothing left from which I could rebuilt it, nothing I could use.

I hadn’t realised I’d started to shake. Lea’s hold on me tightened and his free hand caressed my arm reassuringly. I concentrated on the movement of his hand, the warmth wandering over my arm. Cool air brushed over my cold skin and I tried to cover Mia with my arms. How could I keep my promise if I couldn’t even stop shaking?

Shame prickled hot in my gut. What had I done? Realization hit me and I would have probably decided to stay in the woods forever if Mia hadn’t been lying on my chest.

“You’re an asshole.” My voice felt rough and broken, glass grating over asphalt, but at least he couldn’t hear the pain.

Lea looked down at me, a smile tucking at his lips. “What did I do?” The innocence in his voice was as pure as the joy in his eyes, and I didn’t believe either. This day sucked and it would continue to suck. We both knew it.

Another breeze brushed my skin and I tried to hand Mia back to Lea. The hesitation was proof enough that he only took her to manipulate me. As I said, he was an asshole.

“She doesn’t need to get a cold just because you…”

“Wanted to stop the Queen from killing herself? You are right, what was I thinking.” His tone was light, but the words struck home.

I pushed myself up, using only my uninjured hand. Lea didn’t stop me, but he didn’t let go either. As I turned to face him, his hand wandered until it lightly rested on mine. I could have moved away. I didn’t.

His eyes, molten lava resting in a pool of black, studied me carefully. He could see every crack, every broken shard of me. Where I had looked away, he looked closer. I didn’t try to hide anything. Why should I? He had found me lying catatonic in a forest. What would be more embarrassing? I’d run for a reason and he knew that as well.

I closed my eyes and exhaled, bracing myself for the words he needed to hear. The heavy weight, dragging me down, got hold of my tongue. I felt it grow in my throat. Felt it settle in my stomach and heart, filling my lungs.

Fingers, hotter than before, pinched me painfully and I opened my eyes. Lea’s were fixed on mine. Worry darkening them, an emotion he’d hidden before.

“I’m not going to kill myself.” The sky is blue. Water is wet. Life is out to get you. It was just a fact stated without emotion, because there was no need for them. Why feel something when you couldn’t change it? 

“Why not?” The unspoken _you have enough reason to_ was at least as loud as the spoken words. He knew why, or at least he could have guessed, but he needed to hear it. I must have spooked him pretty badly after all.

More guilt joined the party in my chest and I looked down on Mia, still sleeping – had Takumi drugged her? How could she be still sleeping? – in his arm. Warm and safe. Oblivious to the world. Protected and cared for.

“I promised her, I’ll keep her safe.”

He paused for a second, before saying lowly, “You will. You keep your promises, don’t you?”

The few I made, I had every intention to keep. I wouldn’t be Melrose’s successor. I wouldn’t let her brand me.

I looked up at his eyes feeling something else than dread, pain or guilt for what could have been forever. “I do. That’s why I’m not going to kill myself.” Because I had promised him. Because I had promised Shane. Because if I did, Melrose would win.

Lea’s smile was pure and true and could have been on the face of a carefree six-year-old. Even though he never had been one, I was sure.

“We’ll get through this, Cass.”

The dry laugh rasping in my throat tasted like blood.

“I promise you.” He squeezed my hand smiling, before letting go. Without looking, he grabbed something from beside him and handed it to me. It was a cream-white bracer. “Neither of us need to go back to the Castle if you don’t wear that thing, because I had to swear to Takumi that I’d convince you to wear it.”

“Oh yeah, and how are you planning to do that?”

“Nothing so easy.” His mischievous smile spread over his lips. It didn’t hide the other feelings, sorrow and darker ones, but it didn’t need to. “You need two hands to hold Mia properly, and without the bracer you can’t do that.” His expression turned smug. That should have been reason enough to throw the bracer away, but I couldn’t help it. Something heavy and painful loosened. It didn’t resolve, but the cold weight, pressing me down, got bearable.

“You _are_ an asshole.”

“Never claimed I wasn’t.”

A smile split my face, cold and hot and violent. I inhaled fresh, oxygen filled air and relaxed my shoulders just a fraction.

It took me only two tries to get the bracer on. I could move my fingers just enough to be able to grab a cup. I didn’t need to guess why it was at padded as it was. I wouldn’t be able to fight with it, and even if I tried to, I wouldn’t be able to injure my hand any further.

“How are they?” I didn’t look up at him while asking the question that had been on my mind since I could think straight again.

Lea took his sweet time responding. “I didn’t wait around long enough to ask them.” His voice had a touch of hesitance to it and something I couldn’t put my finger on. “Takumi threw me the bracer and I just ran.”

I didn’t ask any more questions. I could hear the pain, fear and uncertainty in his words, even though he had tried to hide it. I knew he understood me but even so he was helpless. I’d hurt them, and I’d scared them and we both knew there was nothing I could do to change that. From now on they knew my weakness and how close I was to the edge.

“Should we go back?” Lea’s voice was once again cheerful and unobtrusive. If I wouldn’t answer, we would stay here. But as much as I wanted to stay right now, hiding here would make everything worse. 

I looked up in his eyes, seeing nothing more than support and a determination that no one would be able to break. I nodded.

Lea helped me up and tucked me along. I had run farther than I had supposed and was surprised when he guided me not to the front entrance but a small, almost hidden door in the Castle wall.

“I’m not sure that door was always here.” He smiled at me and laid his hand on the spot where the handle should have been. “I think the Castle gave you an exit when you needed it and it was kind enough to keep it open so that I could follow you.”

I placed my hand gingerly on the cold stone, feeling the rough texture. It had given me what I had needed most: the opportunity to run and Lea, who supported me in a manner I could tolerate and gave me a reason to fight. I should be hysteric about the fact that this building knew so much about me; but I wasn’t. It knew me, for better or worse.

A smile tingled on my lips and I patted it affectionately. Without a warning, I felt a warmth spread from the stone into me and I relaxed a little more. It was glad I was back.

I didn’t shower, even though the thought crossed my mind. But not only had I showered twice in the past six hours already, I didn’t want to jeopardise the bandage. Or risk that I had to go back to Takumi. Of course, that was where the door in the wall led.

“I am glad that I do not have to use force to persuade you to wear the bracer.” That was all Takumi said, even though both he and Amalia relaxed visibly when we entered. I saw the strain of the past hour and all what had happened since tonight, but it didn’t matter, did it? We had to function and we did.

They might have commented on what had happened, but Brigitte was there. She sat beside Tino, holding his limp hand in hers. Her eyes seemed to wander to Amalia in irregular intervals. Fear radiated out of her gaze and the way she tried to get as much space between her and Amalia. She had stood up when she’d seen us, locking her eyes on Mia before looking at me.

“My Queen.” She bowed respectfully, although I didn’t believe her. 

It was probably good that Lea held Mia since I wouldn’t have handed her to her grandmother. I didn’t stay to watch her but forced myself out of the room, Lea and Amalia on my heels. _Castle, please have an eye on Mia, the little one. Inform me as soon as something – if something bad happens._ The light flickered twice and I nodded in acknowledgment.

“What did you ask of the Castle?” Lea asked warily, probably guessing what I had told it to do. Takumi would have an eye on Mia too, I was sure.

Nearly twenty minutes later our powwow started. Not one of us looked our best. But on the bright side, I was the only one impaired. In the peroration of this morning’s events, Lucian and Anakleto couldn’t stop to praise Rick, who seemed more embarrassed with each word. Apparently, he had more skill, speed and strength than even he knew. As Lucian had described quite detailed, Rick had seen a not-so-hidden attacker that had been about to fry both of them. Before Lucian had even known what was up, Rick had pushed him out of harm’s way and killed the attacker. Not that I wasn’t impressed by this development, but after hearing it for the fourth time, it got tiring.

“Rick was really…” Ankleto joined in again, when I broke. I was glad that Rick finally got some glory his way – really, I was – but enough is enough.

“Brave. We get it.” I looked at Rick who was all but trying to dig himself a hole to hide in. “Thank you, Rick.” I smiled at him, which resulted in him looking spooked beyond reason. I had smiled, hadn’t I? Well, I had meant to.

I understood why they focussed on Rick saving them. It was so they didn’t have to think about that it could be all in vain. So they hadn’t to think about the King’s Front and the meeting we had ahead of us. We were all on edge. All craving to let out what tried to strangle us. This couldn’t have started any worse without any of us dying. My optimism was at work again.  

I still felt out of it and barely responsive. But right now, they needed me. Lea needed me. Anakleto needed me. I wouldn’t let them down, not now. Not with something I actually could pull off. Hopefully.

As soon as we started, the air seemed to fill with electricity, although there was no one with powers like that with us to my knowledge. To sum it up, no one wanted Lea to come, Lea wanted to come and they all thought I should be put into a glass cage so that Benedict couldn’t hear or hurt me. The consensus was that he definitely would try to hurt me if he heard me. Although chances were high he would try to kill me in any case, so whatever.

I let them scream at each other and myself for the first thirty minutes without interjecting. Most of them had valid points and I wasn’t about to belie them. When the voices calmed and they started to stare daggers at each other, I laid down the law. Quite literally, since I could force at least three of them to do my bidding and the others would follow it, except maybe Victor. It took us about an hour to finalize our plan. Or to be more precise our formation.

Amalia and Victor would be standing in front of us, as they both looked damn impressive and their powers were no or not as much use with one of us in their way. Unanimously I was voted to stand in the middle, at least one meter behind Victor and Amalia. I hadn’t tried to fight that as hard as I could have. Even I could spot a lost battle now and again. As Takumi insisted he would be the one taking Benedict and whoever he had chosen to take with him from the first location to the second, I would draw our Circle back to the Castle beforehand. Just to be safe. I’d draw it so big that we wouldn’t have to move to flee. I didn’t like the thought of us fleeing but what can you do.

Takumi and Lucian would be staying to either side of me. If I couldn’t activate the Circle, that would become Takumi’s job and Victor would step back to protect me – and Takumi, because in that case, as I had tried to insist – it would be so much more important to make sure that someone could activate the Circle and get us out of there. Victor would also take Lucian’s place if he would fail.

Rick, Lea and Anakleto would be behind us, to protect our backs. And to deescalate the situation as much as possible. Rick’s main job was to keep an eye on Lea and Anakleto. I wasn’t sure he would be actually able to stop them if they wanted to do something stupid, but he could try. Lea was positioned behind me, because he was a damn good bodyguard and also because no one wanted him to be any nearer to his brother. We didn’t know how Benedict would react to his baby brother and – in my professional opinion – it would be a good idea to not put him upfront. It hadn’t been easy to convince the others that Lea had to be protected if Ben snapped. I guessed that had less to do with him being his brother and more with their insane believe they had to keep me safe. Anakleto was ordered to keep Lea in check and keep cool – as was Lea vice versa. I wasn’t sure I hoped for a situation where protecting our backs was enough to occupy their minds.

We had tried to think of any possibility and how to replace anyone if they got injured. I only needed to remember one thing: to get us back if the situation went sideways. The way every one of the others insisted on this made me question my intelligence. After talking it to death we had about twenty minutes left before we needed to leave.

“Grab your weapons.” I stood up but hesitated. “Amalia?” Her gaze made of Darkness met mine. “Write to your brothers.” For just a moment I was sure she would hurl herself at me, but she nodded. Because she’d seen my breakdown? The twirl of emotions in my stomach had to wait. Right now, there was nothing more important than our mission.

I glanced at Lea who walked beside me, more rigid when I’d ever seen him. He was all but panicking. I sent him ahead to his room and hurried to my own. I strapped five daggers to myself before I rushed to Lucian’s room. I could only use one hand, so I wouldn’t need more weapons. Of course, this was apart from the fact that I shouldn’t fight at all.

I stopped before the dark wood, hesitating. I was pretty sure that this was Lucian’s room, even if I had never stepped in it. But if it wasn’t? Deciding that keeping my issue private was more important than the rules of courtesy, I opened the door noiselessly and slipped in. For a second I was blinded by the bright lights that were intensified by everything in this room, as everything was white.

“…believe me, I know.”

I stopped dead in my movement and crouched down, trying to hide myself as best as I could in this cloud of light.

“I will.” There was a pause and I heard him sigh deeply. “I’m not sure, but…” He stopped as if he was talking to someone. He sat at a desk and belatedly I realised he held an old telephone receiver to his ear. It even had a curled cord. That made sense; the simpler the technology the more likely it was usable in the near vicinity of magic. I just hadn’t even considered that any technology would work in the Castle.

“Our initial situation isn’t optimal, but…” A strangled laugh escaped his throat and he tilted his head forward.

Slowly I stood up and leaned against the bright white wall. I was all for privacy, but he called someone right before we had an important mission. If there was even the slightest chance he betrayed us, I had no problem with listening in.

“I know. I will. I love you too, Gabriel.” He laughed again, more freely this time. “No, I don’t say that just because I think this could go wrong.” He listened to Gabriel’s reply, while I contemplated if we needed a rule about what we were allowed to tell others.

“I’ll call you tonight.” He paused for the briefest of moments. “I love you.” He hung up and leaned back. I could see that he had closed his eyes, worry written all across his features.

“Who is Gabriel?”

Lucian jumped up, two short swords instantly in his hands and turned towards me. The worry had vanished behind furry and a little fright. “My Queen.” His voice was hard and had lost the longing, gentle tone.

I raised my eyebrow questioningly. “You might understand my curiosity. I’m still not convinced all those traps were made without insider information.” Not that I had felt it necessary to tell anyone that. Why would I? It was quite obvious.

His light skin grew even more transparent and his eyes widened. “You don’t think…”

I looked at him more closely, waiting for his response, trying to spot any lie.

“Gabriel is my fiancé.” His voice was hard again, challenging. “I didn’t tell him any secrets, but it wouldn’t make a difference. He believes in the Queen as I do!”

“And what do you believe?”

“That you will be the Queen that will bring us peace. Even if you can be obnoxious from time to time.” There was heat behind his words, but I believed him.

“Please excuse my intrusion. I actually wanted to ask a favour of you.”

Lucian’s eyes narrowed. “How can I help you?”

“If our formation breaks, I want you to concentrate on Lea and Anakleto.” He started to contradict me, but I ignored him. “The others will focus on me and Takumi. Lea is maybe the likeliest target for an attack, if Anakleto doesn’t try to kill Benedict.” I hesitated. “I don’t want you to break your promise to Gabriel.” His shoulders stiffened. “I don’t ask you to protect them with your life, just… keep an eye on them, okay?”

“You don’t need to ask me, my Queen. You can order me.” His voice sounded softer than before, but I saw the wariness lingering.

“Even if I could, I don’t want to.” I turned to leave, as he stopped me.

“I’ll keep an eye on them.”

“Thank you.” I slipped out of his room, and it took me a moment for my eyes to accustom themselves again to the dim light in the corridor compared to Lucian’s blinding one.

Two doors down, I found Lea standing motionless in his room. He didn’t turn to face me when I entered. It could be my optimism failed me, but I didn’t consider that a good sign. I stepped around him and stopped. I had never seen a Fire this cold. His gaze seemed unfocussed, the lava in his eyes all but petrified. I looked away as soon as I saw the depths of his despair. I couldn’t handle his pain. Not now – to be honest, I probably would never be able to handle it.

The fine rustle of cotton was the only warning I received before he pressed his forehead against mine. Without Mia in my arms, I fought down the reflex to push him away. What I actually did was even worse. I hugged him.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! I'm happy for your comments on opinions, feel free to share them!
> 
> And as always: Thank you Anna :)


	19. The Pleasure Is All Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benedict is something... else than you probably expected...

It was a beautiful sunny day in the clearing where we decided to meet with Benedict and the King’s Front. The birds were singing, a pleasant breeze moved the leaves and a few bees and butterflies danced around a lavender bush.

One look at the faces of the others belied the peaceful atmosphere. As did their postures. Weapons were not yet drawn, but it wouldn’t take more than one movement. I’d finished the Circle already, trying to ignore the vibration of concern all around me. Trying to ignore fear, hate and the mixture of both that bordered on panic and bloodlust.

It had been a while since I had trouble concentrating on the job at hand. About ten years I’d guess. Today however, I had to force myself to look ahead. I didn’t care that the King’s Front kept us waiting. Or that this could be a trap, even though we had set up this second location. It didn’t even bother me that I would have to play the diplomat or that I had to act period. But I couldn’t forget Lea’s desperation, Anakleto’s pain and hate. It worried me mildly.

A heavy exhale behind me shot a hot and furious urge to protect through my very being. Fuck, okay, I’ll admit it. I was worried. Like really worried that something could happen to them. And not just death, injuries and general calamities. I was afraid they could get hurt by what Benedict would say. What I would say. What I would make him say. Because there was not a shred of doubt in me that I would make this hard for any of us.

“This way.” Takumi’s voice sounded matter of fact even though it was distorted by distance. We couldn’t see him just yet, as he had appeared with the King’s Front on a different clearing about fifty meters away.

“Protect the Queen,” Victor mumbled almost inaudible and I glanced to my right to Lucian. He returned the look and nodded slightly.

If the bracer hadn’t protected my wound, I would have probably pressed it. It was easier to fade out anything unwanted with a little pain. But since Takumi – in his annoying foresight – made that impossible, I bit my tongue. Not hard enough to draw a lot of blood. Just enough to sting. Enough for the taste of copper.

The steps nearing were soft on the forest floor. There were no snapping of boughs and just the faintest rustle of clothes. Probably intentionally made, either to let us know they were coming or in an attempt to fool us of their skills. Maybe both.

The heat behind me intensified, before it declined again. I guessed Lea tried really hard to hold back. Anakleto’s breathing was far from even but it wasn’t as agitated as it could have been.

Both Victor and Amalia glanced back at me, Anakleto and Lea before exchanging a look between them. They were worried, too.

Takumi was the first one stepping into the clearing. He appeared to be unconcerned to walk in front but his eyes belied him. He stared warningly at all of us, letting his gaze linger. The golden ribbons in his pitch-black eyes moving rigidly around themselves. 

Behind him followed five Paien. Three fires, two of them male Volcanos like Lea, and the third something I wasn’t quite sure of. Her brown-reddish hair seemed to move on its own accord as if burning. One was a Water with a bluish tint to their skin and hair. I couldn’t guess their gender and really didn’t care enough to try. The fifth was a young woman, probably around my age and therefore at least five to ten years younger than the rest. She looked absolutely positively human except for her glaring yellow eyes, bright as the sun, with slitted pupils. They all wore combat-practical dark clothes, a little leather here and there and carried so few weapons openly that they must have a fuck ton of them hidden.

Notwithstanding that there were two male Volcanos in the group. I didn’t have to guess which one was Benedict, although he didn’t look like his brother. Nonetheless it was obvious in the confident way he held himself that he was the leader of that group. He had broader shoulders than his brother and was at least a head higher. His straight hair was more of a dark blond than brown. If I didn’t know they were brothers – in whatever kinship relationship – I would have never known.

He let his gaze wander over our group, not lingering for a moment on his brother that stood behind me before his eyes settled on me. His guard – the way they stood around him, nearly copying the way the others surrounded me – seemed to be unconcerned but ready for every occasion.

“May I present to you: Queen Cassandra, Guardian of Righteousness,” Takumi said in his uncompromising way, stepping to my left, bowing slightly – for which he would pay dearly as soon as we were back home – and turned back to face Benedict. “And may I present to you, my Queen, Benedict, leader of the King’s Front.” 

Benedict inclined his head and smiled charmingly at me. “Queen Cassandra, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” His eyes, molten lava in a pool of black, should have been the same as Lea’s. Not because they were brothers, but because they were the same kind of Pain. I got used to Lea’s eyes. I could read them without a problem and even found comfort in them. Benedict’s eyes freaked me out. His smile was honest as far as I could see, his voice friendly and inviting. But in his eyes, there was the gleam of murder and obsession. I knew this gleam. I knew the consequences, knew the impact that meant.

Benedict was dangerous. It didn’t matter that his smile and demeanour seemed to be as honest and true as nothing I could think of. It wouldn’t have mattered if I hadn’t known anything about him. If I hadn’t known about Anakleto’s sister or anything about the King’s Front. I _knew_ he was dangerous. The clenching of my gut and the cold prickle at my spine were superfluous.

This was wonderful! As conflicting as this might seem to anyone else, to me it was a blessing. If I could believe in blessings and good luck. I knew how to talk to someone like him. I had worked with monsters like him all my life. This could be fun after all – if it weren’t for the others. Fucking conscience.

“Cass, please. The pleasure is all mine.” I smiled pleasantly back at him, relaxing visibly.

Benedict’s smile widened and more white teeth came to light. “Ben.”

“Ben, I’m glad that we could meet today. We had a rather unpleasant night.” I let my smile be tainted with a hint of pain and sadness. His eyes followed the nearly inconspicuous movement of my injured arm.

“Are you alright?” He looked sincerely concerned, taking a step forward.

Victor and Amalia straightened, ready to step in his way and stop him. Violently if necessary.

Ben hesitated, convincingly torn between his wish to make sure I was okay and keeping the peace. He was incomparable. Now I understood how he was able to get this far.

“I am not entitled to tell you what to do, but I beg you to be careful.” His face and voice were now more guarded, but the concern was still visible.

“I try to be.” My smile faltered for just a second. Long enough to be noticed without a doubt, but short enough to seem genuine. “But it is my burden and I see the need to act on it.”

“I know what you mean.” Ben’s smile became sympathetic. “I’m working for a long time now to revolutionize the Paien community. It’s hard. Especially for someone so young.”

I quashed my impulse to contradict him and focussed on the opportunity he gifted me with. “I heard stories about your revolution…” I hesitated as if I tried to tally what I heard and the man standing in front of me.

Ben sighed regretful his facial expressions turning weary. “I can guess what you heard.”

To my surprise, none of us killed him instantly. I heard a movement behind me, saw Victor, Amalia, Takumi und Lucian tense, but nothing more. Because of this, I coerced myself to look anxious and hopeful. Even though it nearly caused me physical pain. I ignored the adrenaline pumping through my veins, demanding to cut him down.

“I know what Paien say about me. About us.” He made a gesture to his followers. “I sincerely hope that you never have to hear such tales about yourself.”

The movement behind me was a lot more noticeable this time. I glanced over my shoulder at Anakleto who was held back by Lea’s firm grip. I didn’t look at either of their faces deliberately. I couldn’t lose concentration now. I couldn’t acknowledge their pain now. As much as I didn’t want to put them through this, I needed proof. I needed to be absolutely certain. Not for my benefit. I knew he wasn’t salvageable. But Lea needed to understand what his brother was. What he would do to the world if he got the chance. So that if the time came and his brother was captured or put down, he would have a ground to stand on rather than slip and fall of the not so metaphorical cliff. In this line of work, he could actually be standing on a cliff when realisation would hit him.

“What about the Pain… that died.” Only in the last second, I could force this out instead of the accusation. They didn’t just drop dead. They were killed by his people, killed because of his command.

Grief, sharp and plain blossomed over Benedict’s features and I wished I hadn’t asked. If I was only barely able to hold back the bile in my throat – pushed by repulsion so intense I nearly lost focus of the present and was almost lost in my more traumatic memories – I couldn’t even start to understand what Anakleto must go through. What Lea must feel.

“I deeply regret every lost life, Cass, you must know that.” He hesitated long enough to make it seem as if his next words were almost unbearable to voice, “But if there have to be made sacrifices for the greater good, I must shoulder that burden.” He didn’t need to say that it pained him. It was there in the open to be seen for anyone who cared to look, and it was all bullshit. The shiniest and best made bullshit I had ever came across, I had to give him that. But every word, every emotion was a lie. There was nothing in his demeanour, voice or face to pinpoint the falsehood, or to prove to anyone else that he didn’t believe anything he vomited at us so skilfully. Nothing at all to hold against him than that gleam in his eyes that made my skin crawl and would visit me in my nightmares. It always did.

For just a second I was so appalled at the lies presented in colourful wrapping paper with a silk bow around it, I didn’t know how to answer. I was often quick-witted and never begged out of a confrontation, but I had never been good with hypocrites. I was fine being cursed, spat on and tortured. I would even be fine being killed. Preferably not with a dagger in my back, but I would take it. What I couldn’t tolerate were hypocrites spinning lies far finer than the bloody truth could ever be. Hate and contempt bubbled in my blood, raising through my veins, burning everything in its path. Everything but one white promise, cold and indestructible.

“Did you ever kill?” The questions had slipped out before I could have stopped it. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure I had tried to stop it. At least my voice was free of all the emotion that whirled through me demanding to destroy.

“Did you, your Highness?”

He knew. He knew everything. Maybe not which family I once belonged to but he knew I was a Dragonslayer. Maybe not the depth of our disunity but he damn well knew we were disunited. He knew that Lea wasn’t coming back. He knew that I knew, that I had seen through his act. He would see the determination in my eyes that I would rather be sent back to Melrose as a present to be skinned alive than letting him continue his fun and mayhem ways. Okay, he wouldn’t know that. But he knew that I would stop him or die trying. There was no way in heaven or hell I would let him be.

“I must confess that I have.” My voice was even. All emotions hidden behind the rising panic. I needed to get Lea out of here. I needed to get them all out of here. He couldn’t know any of this without a spy in the Castle. Victor, Richard, Anakleto or Lucian? I couldn’t believe Anakleto was that good an actor. Lucian did call someone and I couldn’t be sure it was his fiancé as he had claimed. I wanted to slap myself hard enough to draw blood. Why did I ever let them in? Why did I let myself get friendly with them?

“I’m sure you would never kill an innocent, Cass. You are the Guardian of Righteousness after all, aren’t you?” He asked with just a hint of reference.

The well-guarded bubble of guilt and pain exploded in my chest. My resolve – which I still wasn’t absolutely sure of anyway – was all but gone after the events of this morning. Now all my wrong doings tried to drown me. They latched onto every thought of mine like leeches. Tearing them to shreds. Ripping at my mask and what little soul I had left after everything I had done.

No. The only thought loud and clear enough to grasp at. No. I wouldn’t lose to him. I wouldn’t fucking break down in front of him. I would never submit to him or anyone like him. No. Never again.

Heat in the small of my back snapped me out of my denial. Lea’s hand burning far too hot for my comfort still lingering and hurting me. He gave me a focus, a straw to grasp and hold onto.

It couldn’t have been longer than a few seconds, but Benedict knew. I grazed the yellow eyes of his young companion. She knew too.

I straitened slightly, pressing against the burning hand at my back. Holding onto the weight that grounded me.

“You said it yourself, I’m still young and I’m sure I have to learn quite a bit before the title will fit me,” I said with a fine rasp to my words. I wasn’t losing it, but I was damn close.

Benedict’s gaze lay on me, concerned, with just a hint of hope in his eyes. His acting was too fucking good to be true. He had wanted me to figure him out, I was sure. He wanted to see the realization in my eyes. See how I reacted when I learned that he had played me all along. Possibly he had hoped that he could actually woo me to give him the power he so desperately desired, but I doubted it. He had wanted this. And I had tapped into his trap like a fucking idiot.

“You are wise beyond your years, your Highness.” His tone was sincere but I heard the mocking nonetheless. I pressed harder against the heat in my back. I was sure it had burned me severely by now, but if I had to sacrifice a little skin and flesh to get through this, I would do that happily. My skin and my flesh. Not the lives of others.

“I hope you are right,” I agreed as pleasantly as I could. I must not have failed as badly as I feared, because no one reacted to it. “I have to believe that the magic chose to grant me all that power for a reason.”

It was the first time a shadow crossed his eyes. The first time I had fired back. But I did not knew enough about him to hurt him. The best I could hope for was that I could annoy him, even if I shouldn’t. I needed to get the others out of here. I was certain that he had a spy in the Castle, so he had probably known of this location. I couldn’t be sure he hadn’t back up in this forest. Lucian had told me that no one was near us. But if he was the spy…

We needed to leave now. But acknowledging that meant to let him win. I didn’t want to let him win anything. In fact, I wanted to destroy him right here. I wanted to rib his head from his shoulders. I wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t hurt anyone anymore. I wanted to protect Lea from him. I wanted to give Anakleto the assurance that he would never kill another sister ever again.

The cold promise hung heavy around my neck. I couldn’t betray Lea, not like his brother just did and probably had probably done his whole life. I couldn’t do that to him. I needed to protect them from him.

“You seem distracted, Cass. Are you alright?” Benedict smiled patronizing at me, his tone even with a note in it that I recognized. As did Lea, because his fingers clawed my back and I felt the slow tickle of blood drops.

Benedict would attack us if we didn’t leave right now.

“You are too kind, Benedict. You truly are.” Bile etched my throat. “I fear I have to cut our meeting short. I do hope you understand.”

“Of course.” His smile widened and if it hadn’t been for the others, I would have tried to kill him at that moment. I had seen that expression far too often to not feel ghostly pain and crippling fear.

“Thank you for meeting with us today, Cass. You are indeed gracious.”

Without waiting for the signal that he would give with his next breath – I would have betted my life on it – I crouched down, composure be damned, and activated the Circle.

I must have been uber-eager as the magic of the Circle slammed us all on the Castle floor. I actually landed face down on the cold marble. I ignored the pain, barely even feeling it. Shivers ran through my body and I tried my best to hold them back.

“Cass!”

I heard yelling. Hands grabbed me and hesitated before they turned me.

“What did you do!” Anakleto screamed furiously.

I looked up and saw Takumi holding me. His face a painting of rage and apprehension. His hands supported me impossibly gentle.

My eyes wandered from him to Lea and Anakleto. The latter had the first pulled from the floor by his collar. Lea looked ashen.

I closed my eyes, trying to shut out everything. I needed time to calm down. Time to rebuild my composure, because it was gone.

“Cass.” Takumi’s voice calm and urgent. Demanding.

“You can’t believe him!” Lucian’s voice was as outraged as I’d ever heard it.

I tried to ignore the screaming. The voices that tried to drown each other out.

My shoulder was grabbed hard and unrelenting. “Don’t fucking tell me this piece of shit…”

I lost it. To my defence, I didn’t kill anybody. I didn’t even hurt them. I didn’t black out or started screaming. I didn’t run.

But I pushed them out of my way and slashed at a column up to the point where Amalia grabbed my dagger swinging wrist and shoved me into Takumi’s arms. He restrained me quite effectively. I went limp almost as soon as his hard grip held me. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt them. How times were changing.

I looked up and faced Lea. He stood where Anakleto had left him when he had grabbed me. I didn’t have the strength left in me to do this but it didn’t matter one damn bit.

“I need a moment with Lea. Now.”

“Cass!” Anakleto started, but I shot him a glare that shut him up instantly.

“If you believe that I could have fallen for that, I suggest you leave right now.” My voice was as dead as I felt.

Anakleto starred at me shocked. But I didn’t look away. Not until Lucian took his hand and pulled him away.

“I am waiting for you in my chambers, my Queen.” Takumi didn’t leave any room to disagree. Lucky for both of us, I wasn’t going to. He loosened his hold on me until he knew I could stand on my own.

One after another they left the entrance hall. The silence was almost deafening. Exhaustion and pain crawled in the forefront of my slow working brain. I recognized the numbness of my legs, the throbbing pain in my temple. I welcomed the physical pain I could deal far more easily with than what lurked behind it, more raw and infected than even my hand.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Lea’s voice was small. Powerless.

I locked eyes with him. His were broken and cold, as if the volcano inside of them had lost its heat.

“You helped me,” I replied matter of fact. There was nothing more I could offer him right now.

“I burned you.”

“I could have moved away.” But I had moved closer. I’d demanded the pain that had helped me focus.

“You are going to kill him.” It wasn’t an accusation. Just a shattered statement.

“I’m going to stop him.” I hesitated. He needed to know. “Whatever it takes.”

Lea closed his eyes and exhaled. 

I didn’t move. This was his choice: fight or give up. I couldn’t make this decision for him. I couldn’t even make it easier. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to move on if we were talking about the only person I had ever trusted before him. I froze. Before him. I bend my head in acceptance. Fuck everything. I trusted him. If he decided to give up, it would remind me why I didn’t trust others except for the one person I knew wouldn’t give up, because I wouldn’t either.

It also would probably break me, considering my current state. Not that I wanted Lea to think about that.

“I’m sorry.”

Brutal fear ripped through me and I took one step to him before I stopped myself.

“I didn’t tell him anything about you. He must have another…” His voice trailed off and I realized that he was crying. Nearly undetectable shivers moved his shoulders and I couldn’t hold back any longer.

I rushed to him and wrapped him in a rather forceful embrace. Lea was my friend, my first friend. Maybe not the only one but this was definitely not the time to think about that.

Lea’s arms around me tightened ever so slightly trying to hold on. His desperation cold and final. 

Tears wet my shoulder where Lea had buried his face, much colder than I had expected. Mild shivers run through his body, his breathing ragged. Had he ever cried like this before? I knew I had. Had I? I vaguely remembered the day my mother had died. The day my father had been ripped to shreds. The day my oldest brother was murdered. The first time Melrose had given me one of her _special lectures_. I knew betrayal, hopelessness and bottomless despair. But for most of it I hadn’t been alone.

One frantic sob escaped Lea and he pressed even closer to me. I felt his exasperated heartbeat thumping for dear life. It didn’t matter if I had felt pain like his before or if I could understand it. The only thing important was that he wasn’t alone in this. If he chose so, he never would be again.

“I’m here.” I didn’t recognize the pained whisper as my own. I just felt the rasp in my throat.

Time passed. Or it didn’t. I’m actually not sure. I tried to ignore everything around me and the pain that steadily increased. I ignored the relentless reminder in the back of my mind that one of the Paien in this Castle was a spy and put all of us in danger. The powerless insistence that there had to be something I could do to help Lea. The ineffable fear that Lea would give up. If he did, I would never be able to blame him for it. I wouldn’t stop him either. I would just break once more. Nothing to worry about. Acidic disgust bubbled in my mind, more poisonous than even the self-hate fumed by it. Lea was in agony and I feared for myself? I bit back most of both churning in my gut and concentrated solely on the shivering form in my arms.

At one point his breathing started to calm down. When he moved, I hesitated to let go.

He took one step back, rubbing at his face with a sleeve. Dread sneaked itself in the centre of my mind. All I could do was wait.

Lea’s gaze met mine, devastated but not broken. Relief flooded my mind, instantly followed by guilt and shame. It must have shown on my face, as a shadow of a smile appeared in his harrowed eyes.

“Don’t worry Cass.” His voice was hollow but I took it.

“I think that isn’t an option anymore and I fully blame you for that.” I had hoped for a playful tone. I failed.

“And I will take full responsibility.”

From there on the day could only get better right? What a happy little optimist you are.

With a mixture of disgust and resignation, I stared at the broken corpse of Chem. Blood was splattered all around him and had soaked his clothes. He had been brutally butchered just recently. I guessed in the time that had passed since we came back. Another death on my conscience.

I crouched down beside him. It looked as if his throat had been slit from behind the bars. He probably never saw it coming.

“So much for asking him if he knew anything.”

I looked up and met Lea’s eyes. He had put up a mask that was actually working. I had thought it before and could just repeat it. He really was much more resilient than I was.

“The spy must be on the move,” I agreed and stood up. “We have to get to the others.”

Lea nodded. “Can the Castle tell us who did this?”

“Castle?” I hadn’t even thought about that possibility. “Do you know who did this?” No answer. Not even the slight feeling I normally got while communicating with it. “Who was in the cell?” It still didn’t react.

We checked the book for an entry, even though we both knew there was no way in hell that the murderer would have checked in properly.

“What do we do with the body?” Lea asked, looking back at the cells.

“Castle, can you get rid of everything?” The familiar twang of magic let me know this time it worked and nodded at Lea. This wasn’t what I wanted for Chem, but right now we had far bigger problems.

“Do you think he’s gone?” I asked Lea, still remaining as motionless as he was.

“You and I would be.”

That was true, but we would have been gone a long time ago and would have killed our mark.

“He must have laid a trap,” I mused.

Lea nodded again. “We really should get to the others.”

That was certainly a good idea, but something still didn’t fit. There were four possible traitors. The two I was pretty sure of weren’t it. Depending on who was trying to kill me right now, the tactics would differ greatly.

While turning to fast pace, ignoring the numbness and pain, I instructed Lea to get Takumi and Amalia. We shouldn’t let Brigitte know what was going on if we could help it.

“And what do you plan to do?” He replied in a scathing tone. “Because I know you aren’t stupid enough to go to your room on your own just to avoid Takumi.” I had done that when I had decided it would be better for Lea to postpone his meeting with the others and instead had gone down to the cells. Excuse me, rooms for involuntary guests.

“It’s really nice of you to think so highly of me.”

“Cass.” His hand stopped me instantly. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. He wasn’t in the state of mind to banter with me, or to let me do something dangerous just because I wanted to.

“The Castle has secret passageways I’m sure no one knows about but me. I’m going to sneak in just to take a look around. I’m not going to do anything stupid. I promise.”

“Just let me go with you.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You won’t be much help right now, Lea. Get Takumi and Amalia. I’ll be fine.”

I waited patiently while he debated with himself if he would fight me on this. But either he concluded that I was right, or he just hadn’t enough strength to use for an argument. He bowed his head in resignation. “Wait for us.” He removed his hand from my arm, wincing when he saw his hand had left a red imprint on my skin.

I ignored it altogether and stepped to one of the walls, lying my hand on the stone, searching for the next entrance. I wasn’t sure if I had asked the Castle for more or if it wanted to make up for the fact that it hadn’t been able to help answer me earlier. Before I knew it, I stood in one of the passageways, millimetres in front of a stone door I guessed led to my bedroom.

“Thank you,” I mumbled, stepping back slightly, and petted the stone wall gently. It wasn’t its fault it couldn’t do everything.

I laid my injured hand on the part of the stone where the handle would have been, my other grabbing the hilt of one of my daggers. The small window appeared and I froze. I had hoped it wasn’t him. Had thought that we had at least… But it didn’t matter.

Victor stood over my bed. His face and posture tense, searching. Waiting. I would have thought him to be smarter than that.

Before I could decide what I wanted to do, he held his hand out over my bed and let a few droplets of a clear liquid fall down on my bedding. Smoke sizzled upwards where they had hit.

All-consuming fury slashed through me and what little rational thought process remained after this hellish day. I didn’t care that he wanted to poison me. Nor that I had believed him to be an acquaintance. But that he risked Lea too, that he risked little Mia, snapped the remaining caution I had like wet tissue paper. He was going down.

Without farther ado, I slammed the door open and threw myself at him. Enough higher brain function was left for me to avoid the bed like the poison it was.

Victor’s eyes widened in shock, but he could do nothing more before I crashed into him, taking him done.

“Cass!” He rasped. I slashed my dagger at him, but he avoided most of the blow, kicking me off him just in time.

“Stop! I can explain!”

Sure, he could. I just didn’t care. I twisted in my fall to avoid falling on my back. Still, pain shot hot through my body, warning me of the damage already done. Using the momentum of my fall, I sprang up again, hurling my dagger at his throat.

Victor, who had tried to get to his feet, let himself fall flat on the floor to avoid decapitation or at least a nice bloody dent in his throat.

The next dagger lay already heavily in my hand while I cursed the bracer that held me back.

“I swear allegiance to you!”

That stopped me dead in my tracks.

His voice, desolate and weary. For one moment he lay perfectly still, before he grasped his right forearm with his left and started thrashing on the floor. Searing pain shot through my right arm. The rune would burn him.

I stood back, looking down on his withering form, waiting for the inevitable. This would actually answer one of the questions that I had since I learned that the runes would burn all unworthy. Would he actually catch fire or would the magic just cleanse his body from all life?

When his body stilled I was more than a little surprised that he blinked up at me. Tear streaks of pain were on his face. Panting frantically. Still alive. This could only mean one thing: he didn’t want me dead. Even though he probably had in the past. His acceptance had been a lot more painful than even Lea’s.

“So, I’m guessing you didn’t try to kill me just now?” This day couldn’t get any more fucked up. I could have kicked me for the thought. Surely the ever-loving universe would understand it as a challenge and try to fuck it up even worse.

“Tried… to tell… you.”

“Why did you swear your allegiance?” I hadn’t forgotten my threat to kill the next one stupid enough to do so.

“It was the only way to stop you without hurting you further.” Slowly, he pushed himself up, looking a little dazed and hella pissed off.

“Didn’t go well for you though.”

“I didn’t expect to survive,” he hissed, pain yet lingering in his black eyes.

Another kind of fury made itself known while I fought for at least the appearance of control. “May I ask why…”

“Because you are my damned Queen, okay?” His words cut the air. “I was sent to kill you and believe me, I wanted to.” Frustration and anger mixed in his voice while he glared at me. “But you changed. I realised you _cared_ ,” he spat. If he had given me a second to reply I would have apologized to him. Sarcastically of course, but with that fine grain of salt.

“You had to become the Queen and I am far more idealistic than is good for me, so congratulations, I flunked. I couldn’t kill you.” He exhaled heavily, schooling his face in a not-so-murderous-expression, before sinking to one knee. “I am at your service, my Queen.”

I blamed his ridiculous affected behaviour for what happened next. I swayed. Noticeable enough for him to jump to his feet – at least he didn’t kneel anymore – and grab my uninjured arm to steady me.

“Haven’t you…” He stopped himself as he glanced at my back and cursed violently. He tried to pull me to the door, when Amalia kicked said door open, ready to kill. Her abysmal eyes locked onto Victor, I could feel the minute shudder running through his body.

Before anything else could happen, I raised my hand. “Stop. He’s runed. Also, the bed is poisonous.” I wished for a comment from Lea. A few sprung to my mind, but he kept silent. Stepping around Takumi and Amalia, he positioned himself beside me, scrutinizing the rune on Victor’s arm.

The rune looked infected, the skin red and inflamed at the edges. A few blood drops smeared around it.

“I guess your intentions were even less honourable than mine?” Lea’s voice was thin, lacking the spark that I associated with him like his missing smiles.

Victor glanced at him, acknowledging his theory with a short nod.

“Three more possibilities,” Amalia stated icily. “Any idea?”

“Richard,” Victor, Lea and I said at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!!!
> 
> And of course, thanks to you, my lovely Anna!


	20. Twelve Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been twelve days since Cass was stupid enough to set foot in a magical Castle, as chances are, she won't survive the next two days let alone twelve.

Lea and Victor must have come to the same conclusion as I had. Richard, the nice and helpful guy. Not because I hadn’t believed his quite convincing act, but because of an exclusion process. Anakleto wasn’t it. I just didn’t believe his grief was faked. And Lucian… He could have been the spy. A lot of things stood against him and wasn’t it always the angel that fell? But I couldn’t forget his voice, full of love and adoration, longing and hopeful speaking to the person on the phone. It was possible he had known I was listening in. It was possible he had played me. It didn’t change that I didn’t believe it.

Richard was a little slower than the rest of us, a little less lethal. Friendlier. More hopeful. Less prone to violence. He had fucked up but good. He had shown his true abilities this morning when he had saved Lucian and himself. Hadn’t he insisted on killing Chem from the start?

“I saw him sneak into your room, waited till he left and came in to check what he did.” 

Okay. It didn’t matter what I had concocted; Victor had seen him.

“How did you know to check on the bed?” Amalia asked coolly, eyeing the bed suspiciously. 

“Don’t you smell it?” He asked back. “Rotten lemons.”

I didn’t smell anything and it seemed neither did Amalia. But his explanation was as good as any and with the rune still bleeding on his arm, I didn’t doubt Victor.

“I don’t think we are going to find him, but just to make sure…” Amalia started but Takumi interrupted her.

“I believe you owe me an apology, Cass.” His voice was as cold as the everlasting ice and just as forgiving. “You did promise to visit me.”

A sarcastic comment was already on my lips. I held it back with force. He was afraid for me. He wanted to help me and his patience was running as thin as mine.

“I’m sorry.”

A look of surprise flashed through his eyes and momentarily stopped the movement of the golden ribbons in them. “May I take that as an admission of your unreasonableness?”

“Sure. Take it as whatever you like.” My knees buckled beneath me and Victor was the only thing keeping me upright. 

“Get her to my…” He stopped. “Lea’s room must do.” In his was still Tino and presumably Brigitte and Mia. I ignored the longing to hold Mia close to me, making sure that at least she was safe. I really needed to ask the Castle for something like an infirmary. My blood ran cold and I was barely aware that Victor moved me towards Lea’s room. I was a fucking idiot.

Without informing anyone, I told the Castle to bring all of them, Lucian, Anakleto and most importantly Richard to Lea’s room and keep them there. If Richard was in fact still in the Castle, he wouldn’t get out. I cursed myself silently for not thinking earlier about this. Lea had even suggested something similar! But it didn’t help to cry over spilled milk. Or unspilled blood for that matter. 

Lea virtually glued to my side, noticed the change and locked eyes with me. “What?”

“I asked the Castle to trap all of them in your room.” 

For just one moment I actually thought Takumi would hit me. His steely control mostly held his possibly explosive temper in check most of the time. But it seemed I might be his breaking point.

“May I acquire why you thought that to be a good idea after I just informed you that I planned on healing you there?” His voice vibrated with emotions I didn’t want to identify as Amalia sped up her pace. It was either to save her own skin or to get between us and the approaching door.

“I will survive five more minutes. But who knows what Rick plans if he is still here?” The unspoken: What if he goes for the kids? Was hopefully not at as loud as I heard it, but it didn’t matter. 

“Lea,” Amalia demanded, whipping out two daggers. 

Lea stepped beside her, his own short sword ready. He ripped the door open, and both jumped inside while Victor held me back. I didn’t fight his grip. Right now, I would be an obstacle to them, even though I didn’t want Lea in there. 

Shouts of surprise echoed in the hall, but no one screamed.

“All clear.” Lea opened the door a little wider and helped Victor carefully place me on his bed. Amalia stood guard by Anakleto and Lucian, both looked angry and disturbed.

“What’s going on?” Anakleto demanded harshly, his hands balled into tight fists. 

“Richard just tried to kill the Queen.”

“What?” Lucian exclaimed, horrified.

Victor showed them his arm. “I just swore loyalty. You’re next.”

“Stop.” My hand closed around Lea’s arm, only because it was the only thing close enough to keep me in a sitting position. “Rick is obviously gone. They don’t…”

All of their eyes settled on me in a mixture of disbelief and a crystal clear what-the-fuck-is-your-problem. 

“You don’t have to.” I had failed to keep the pleading tone out of my voice. Four Paien had already bound their lives to mine. How should I ever be able to do right by them?

“Mia will be safer if everyone is runed,” Lea murmured, glancing down at me. At any other time, there would have been mischief in his eyes. His voice would have that teasing tone that made sure I knew he had won and send me into a murderous mood in 0.1 seconds. 

I swallowed hard to keep the bile rising at bay. He was right. Everyone in this Castle would be safer if they were magically enslaved. 

Before I could make up my mind if I wanted to protest this any further, Lucian knelt before me and extended his hand to my uninjured one. I looked in his rainbow coloured eyes and gave in. His skin was warm and smooth under my numb fingertips.

“I swear to you, Cassan…” He caught himself, continuing in his quiet, confident way. “Cass, my loyalty and my life.” Joy danced through the melody in his voice and everything in me screamed.

The rune appeared on his arm with the smallest of discomfort on my part. I was pretty sure that I felt at least partly what my subjects were going through while being runed.

He had the audacity to smile at me. “Finally, my Queen.” I was too shocked to react properly and slap him. Before I could, he had stepped back and Anakleto had taken his place, kneeling before me and reaching for my hand. I placed mine in his. Right now, his skin was a beautiful shade of caramel, his eyes amber. 

“I swear allegiance to you, my Queen, Guardian of Righteousness. My life and faith are yours.”

The burning on my arm was faint and I saw no sign of it on his face. I guessed he had been nearly as eager as Lucian to make that oath. I tried not to resent them for that, for forsaking their freedom willingly.

“I suggest that everyone not necessary for healing remove themselves from the room immediately.” However Takumi had phrased it, no one in their right mind would think that was anything other than a command. No one in their right mind would try to contradict him.

Anakleto stepped back hurriedly as to not get on Takumi’s bad side and followed the others in their strategic retreat. The only person remaining was Lea.

“Lea, go.” I looked up at him with just hint of pleading. He didn’t need to see this.

“No.” 

Surprisingly Takumi kept quiet. I heard him bustling behind me with utensils I was sure hadn’t been their just seconds ago, hearing his quiet words of thanks to the Castle. 

“You don’t…” I tried it again, but Lea just stared at me. If I had hurt him, I would have wanted to know. Of course, that was the exact same reason I really wished he wouldn’t stay. 

“Lea, help her onto her stomach.” Takumi ordered tersely, cutting our staring match short. For just a heartbeat I thought about refusing and commanding Lea to get the hell out. Except everything in me refused to leave him alone. Giving in, I let Lea help me lay down, shedding the clothes that clung to me. The silence that followed was far worse than any exclamation would have been. 

I placed my head on the bracer, unwilling to draw attention to the stinging burn on my less injured arm. 

Takumi worked with feather light touches. It didn’t help one bit as the whole procedure hurt like hell. My sole focus was on not voicing anything, concentrating hard on my even breathing. As I was fairly intimate with burn wounds by now, it wasn’t as hard as you could have imagined.

Takumi, as the professional healer that he was, inquired after my perceptiveness on the nerves around my wound. I assured him that they were all working without going into detail. It would have been far worse if I wouldn’t be in pain. Lea helped me up and Takumi secured the wound by bandaging the whole of my lower torso, mummy style. 

“Her arm.” Lea’s voice was lifeless as he pointed at the reddened skin in form of his handprint at my left arm. The accursed runes still wandered over the skin, indifferent to the physical plane of things.

Takumi brushed a cooling salve over it, deciding it wasn’t bad enough for a band aid. 

“Thank you.” 

He held my gaze, staring back with purpose. “May I recommend pain medication?” That was a trick question. The glimmer in his eyes assured me it was a good idea to play ball for now. I accepted a glass of water and a somewhat greenish powder.

He observed scrupulously to make sure I had taken everything, his expression a good indicator that I was still in trouble. 

“You must stop that, Cass.” His voice perceptive with a waft of pain and worry.

“It was my fault.” Lea stepped even closer, his warmth soothing rather than hurting. Without my conscious consent my hand was on his arm, squeezing it.

“I’ll try my best.”

“See that you do.” He turned and started packing his equipment. I knew Lea was the only reason he hadn’t gone into detail about what I had done to my body and that he was afraid I would keel over anytime soon. 

“Come on.” I pulled myself up, using Lea’s arm as a prop, and swayed dangerously. 

Lea’s arms supported me till I could stand upright on my own, throwing Takumi a nasty glance. “What was in that powder?”

“A mixture of analgesic and sedative.” He gestured to Lea to help me lay down. “You need the rest, my Queen. I’m sure the others will be capable of searching the Castle on their own.”

I would have loved nothing better than tearing him a new one. There was just one minor inconvenience: my vision was blurry to the point that I couldn’t see him anymore. His voice got distance and I barely felt Lea’s warm hands positioning me tenderly on my side.

“You’re going to pay for this…” Words, meant as a threat, were probably too slurred to be identified. 

Someone murmured beside my ear but I was already too far gone.

\-----------------

“If you ever even think about drugging me again…”

“We both know, my Queen, that if the time comes and I deem it necessary to improve your health or safe your life, I will drug you again,” Takumi replied, matter of fact. He ignored my death glare and the hissing and twitching of my hand that desperately wanted to strangle him.

Without further comments, he turned and stepped back into his room. Amalia, who had listened from the door frame, let him pass and put Mia in my arms. “She wouldn’t quit whining.” Her fond voice belied the harsh words, and as if to make up for that, she smiled at me with more than just a hint of malicious joy. “You were high as a kite. Do you remember anything?”

I did. They had woken me up for dinner and I remembered being fed by Lea. It was blurry and fuzzy around the edges, but I knew he hadn’t left my side. It could be I hadn’t let go of his hand, but that must have been the drugs. I remembered their agitated discussion about what we should do next – even though Lea had to fill me in about the details this morning when I woke up, still drowsy and pissed off as hell. Rick was gone, and aside from the little present on my bed, he hadn’t left anything behind.

I also remembered Amalia telling me then too that I was high as a kite before saying to Takumi that he had overdone it. It was the only clear memory, probably because of the fury I still felt since I had understood what his answer had meant: “You misapprehend, Amalia. I overdosed her deliberately.”

“No.” 

The knowing smile on Amalia’s lips made me wish I wasn’t holding a baby, my back wasn’t killing me and she hadn’t sworn loyalty to me. 

“I could fill you in,” she offered, and I decided that I didn’t wish to find out whatever it was Lea had left out. 

“I think I’ll pass.” Mia wriggled happily in my arms, tugging at my hair. 

“You should speak to Anakleto.”

I looked into her abysmal eyes. Her face had settled back on an almost indifferent expression, but I was sure I saw worry lurk behind it. “Has something happened?”

“Not yet.” She didn’t voice it, but we all knew that the confrontation with Benedict wouldn’t be the most pleasant experience, as our meeting hadn’t been. 

It wasn’t that I had forgotten about him. How could I? But Lea had suffered more, and after sorting out the traitor I had been drugged. It was not that much time for me to look after Anakleto. 

“Okay, tell Takumi we meet for breakfast in ten. We’ll get Lucian.” 

She nodded. “I’m guessing you take the little one with you?”

Mia, who seemed rather content with plucking me bald, squealed happily when I gently nudged her nose.

“I’m taking that as a yes.” She turned in the door, closing it in our faces. 

“It’s nice to see her in a good mood,” I commented drily and glanced at Lea’s cold face. I missed his scarfing remarks and the twinkle of mischief in his eyes already.

Anakleto’s door was just across the hall. When I laid my hand on the handle I looked up at Lea again. “Just a minute, okay?” His need to follow me like a shadow was probably part his bodyguard training I was sure he had gotten from his lovely brother. He had probably been told to protect others with his life as if his wasn’t worth anything. But it could also be a craving need to be with someone and not be alone.

Lea’s eyes flashed an emotion raw and horrible before he blinked and it was gone. He nodded.

Hesitating, I cradled Mia closer. “I’m right here.” I couldn’t leave Mia with him, not now. In my haste, I forgot to knock, a circumstance I only realised when I was already behind the closed door and watched Anakleto pull his shirt down hurriedly.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, evading my eyes. Right now, Anakleto sported a warm caramel tone to his skin and curvy dark locks. 

“My Queen.” A light reddish tint bloomed on his cheeks. “Are you okay?”

“Ahm. Yes. I didn’t mean to…” I stopped myself. “How are you?”

Anakleto frowned lightly. “If this is about the rune, I…”

“No. This is about Benedict.” The mention of the name was enough for his eyes to flash from amber to stormy grey.

“What about him?” His voice, cold and angry, startled Mia. I calmed her down before looking back at Anakleto. Lea had told them yesterday that we would stop the King’s Front, but it seemed that Anakleto didn’t believe it. Or maybe he couldn’t believe it until we actually did it.

Slowly, I inhaled. “I’m sorry you had to hear that yesterday.”

Surprise washed over his features, bringing spots of amber back to his eyes. “What?”

“You shouldn’t have to hear us.” Mia wriggled again in my arms, and I ignored the strain it put on my back.

“You played him.”

“I tried to but he was better.” And he had a spy inside the Castle who had informed him about everything I had shared all too willingly.

“Did you believe him?” His anger rose with every word, but he tried to keep it in check.

“No. Not for a second.”

“Then why…” He started before he interrupted himself. “Lea. You wanted to spare him?”

A sad smile split my lips and I exhaled harshly. “I wanted him to realize what his brother is.”

“And what is he?” He demanded, challenging.

“An Unmensch.” I had to quench the desire to put my hands over Mia’s ears while saying that word. It wasn’t quite a week since I stopped using it for everyone clearly not human. Right now, it left a foul taste in my mouth like rotting flesh. I meant it. Benedict was an Unmensch. And I would do to him what I had been trained to do by monsters just like him. 

Anakleto’s eyes narrowed. I didn’t know what he was looking for, but I didn’t try to hide anything. Revenge wasn’t everything, but it was a hard lesson to learn.

“You will kill him?”

Killing him would be the easiest solution, not that I really thought Benedict would make it easy. Taking him capture and keeping him alive would be work, and there would always be the possibility that he would escape. Of course, if we captured him he would get a trial, and with only the bits and pieces I already knew I would be hard pressed to actually not sentence him to death. I didn’t want him to be in this Castle. I didn’t want someone like him anywhere near us. Lea shouldn’t have to be near him. But I had sworn to try to get him out alive and I would stand by that.

“I will do anything it takes.” The certainty in my voice was true. I would. I would protect those stupid Paien that had bound their lives to mine even if it was the last thing I would ever do. The knowledge almost scared me. But I had always known I was too kind hearted. 

“Okay.” Trust radiated out of that one word and the small smile going with it.

“Okay.” I cleared my throat. “Lea and I were on our way to breakfast. Are you coming?”

“How is he?” Restrained concern laced his words and I met his questioning gaze.

For just one moment, I considered playing it down. This was Lea’s battle and not my place to tell. “He is holding on.” The unspoken for dear life was just as loud.

Anakleto didn’t answer to that, but his expression was clear enough.

Outside in the hall, Lea and Lucian waited for us. 

“Good morning, my Queen.” Lucian beamed at me. Apparently, he was trying to brighten the mood with a little teasing. If that wasn’t the reason behind his emphasis, we would have a long chat in our near future, and it wouldn’t be pleasant. 

“Morning.” I positioned Mia carefully on my hip. Even though I was sure that I hadn’t given any visual sign of discomfort, Lea’s face hardened and he held his arms out.

“Give her to me or I will tell Takumi.” There was no hint of humour in his voice.

I hesitated only for the briefest of moments before I handed Mia over, stepping closer to him so that she could continue to pluck me like a chicken.

“Pray tell me, Cass, that you did not hold the girl for a prolonged amount of time.” The exasperated tone in Takumi’s voice was nearly drowned out by what could only be described as desperation. He was followed by Amalia, who seemed wholly uninvolved in the affair.

“I think that depends on your measurement of prolonged amount of time.”

“You really want to get killed by him, do you not?” Amalia stepped up, filling the role as buffer when Lea didn’t. 

“He had it coming.” I glared at him, although even I knew that it was half-heartedly. 

It took a moment for us to settle around the table, as Mia wouldn’t let go of my hair and Lea wouldn’t hand her back until I sat. We managed and I was actually thankful to Amalia when she brought me a tray. 

“Do not get used to it,” she told me, but there was no bite behind her words. What on earth had I done yesterday?

Silence fell when we started eating, only disrupted by Mia’s squeals while she drooled over a bit of a sweet bun. We needed to discuss our next strategy, something we should have come up with yesterday. Benedict wouldn’t wait any longer. Yesterday he had been in a playful mindset. He had wanted to bait me before, but today he would be ready to strike and destroy. With Rick gone, there was nothing left to hold him back.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Takumi push the plate he had brought for Lea closer to him. He hadn’t eaten anything yet.

I opened my mouth, about to start our little discussion about how to stop a rebellion that outnumbered us by at least a hundred to one, when the Castle bell pre-empted me.

“I’m going.” Lucian stood up, half smiling, and left.

“My Queen, I would recommend…” Takumi started before I could stop him.

“The King’s Front is the only thing important right now.” No one contradicted me, but I waited a beat too long for Rick’s flared up declaration that we needed to help everyone who asked for it. The spike of betrayal was a familiar one, but it was painful nonetheless. 

The running steps from the hall promised trouble – not that it should surprise anyone. I put the rest of my sandwich back on my plate as Lucian stormed into the dining hall, a look of pure wrath-of-god-avenging-angel on his face. Magic or light or maybe both swirled around him. Beautiful and terrifying were equally suitable to describe him right now.

Without any ado he pushed the post-card at me. It showed a lava spewing volcano and an italic caption. Greetings from the Vesuvius. It was the volcano that had destroyed Pompeii. Well played.

“It’s Benedict. He writes that if you don’t surrender the throne and your power to him, he will attack a new Paien community every day!”

That wasn’t the worst. The worst was one sentence beneath all that. Richard told me all about you. He knew that I cared. I pressed Mia closer to me, protecting her from my next thought. Kids. Rick knew I couldn’t help myself if it came to kids. 

I barely listened when Lucian told the others that Benedict planned on blaming the attacks on me. I had read that as well and labelled it insignificant. The stabbing pain in my gut wasn’t physical, couldn’t be, but it felt like it.

I locked eyes with Lea, seeing my own thoughts reflected in his. He would go for kids. I pressed my nose in Mia’s hair for just a heartbeat. When I looked up, all my emotions were buried under the training that enabled me to do horrific deeds without blinking. 

Benedict had given us a location to meet him, and that was where we would go. I saw the determination, worry and fury on their faces, knowing without a doubt that mine showed nothing but ice-cold readiness. We would end this today. 

I handed the small Paien to Lea, locking eyes with him once more. He was willing to come with us, willing to fight and absolutely ready to protect me with his life. But he was also resigned.

“Stay.” It wasn’t an order. I would never be able to forgive myself if it was. It was a plea for him to stay behind, an entreat to not torture himself like that. It was a supplicate to not sacrifice himself for the sins of his brother.

The glimmer in Lea’s eyes told me he had anticipated this. He had known I would beg him to stay behind, just like I knew what his answer would be.

“No, Cass.” The ghostly shadow of his affectionate smile grazed his lips. “I won’t leave your side.”

That was that then. I had to ask. I had to beg, but I wouldn’t take this from him. No matter how much I hated it.

“Get ready.” 

“Cass.” 

I looked back at Lea. Something new shimmered in his eyes: the unbreakable will to fight. Still holding Mia, he stood up and knelt down beside me. 

“I swear my allegiance anew to you. I will follow you, my Queen, wherever you lead. My life is all yours. And if you still want me to be your representative, I offer you that as well.”

For just a moment I had no clue how to respond. His voice reminded me again of him, and it was clear, even to me, that this was his lifeline. He had just forsaken his brother, binding himself once more to me. He was giving me freely what he had hold back when we made our deal. When he looked up, his will to survive shone like fire itself and even though the desperation was now a part of him, he would fight it. He wouldn’t give up.

I couldn’t help but smile. “Welcome back,” I whispered, knowing full well that it would take a lot more time for him to be fine. But the first step was always the most important, and he had taken it.

Lea stood up again, turning towards the others. “I guess he doesn’t want to risk an open battle. Most likely he has laid out a trap using the information Rick has provided him with.”

“Children.” Amalia und Lucian interrupted coldly.

“Most likely.” Lea confirmed. “He will not try to kill Cass himself. He doesn’t like to get his hands dirty. That’s what he has his assassins for.”

No one commented on that one.

“That means while he will distract us, probably with a speech, his assassins will try to kill us one by one. The more troublesome first.” He nodded to Amalia, Lucian and Victor. “I will be very high on that hit list too, although I’m not sure he will outright assassinate me. Could be he wants to make an example out of me. Or the Queen.” He stopped, grabbing my shoulder as if to assure himself that I was still there. “That means we need to stick together. We need to protect each other’s backs. And most importantly,” he fixed me with a stare so intense I was sure anything easy flammable would have combusted instantly, “we have to stay clear headed.” No one commented on that one either, although I was pretty sure a few very good ideas sprang to their minds.

“Grab your weapons. We need to move.”

“My Queen.” Takumi’s expression was vacuous, and even the ribbons in his dark eyes appeared to be bland. “Would you be so gracious as to come with me? I promise I will not hinder you to lead this mission.” There was no need to add that this was exactly what he wanted to do. But he wouldn’t. 

“Let me grab a few weapons and I’ll meet you at your room.” If we survived this, I really needed to ask the Castle if we could build an infirmary. 

“Okay.” I pulled myself up, hiding the flaring pain behind my determination. This was it. We would survive this shit show. Anakleto would be able to calm down, Lea would be able to heal and as soon as the Paien got used to the new – old – structure, I would think of a way to break the magic of the Queen. Without leaving the others behind if possible. I groaned. Fucking hell, without failing them. 

“Are you okay?” Lucian looked critically at me. My groan hadn’t been pained, just really pissed off.

“Yes. I just realized something.” I said, waving it off.

“And what would you realize just now, my Queen?”

I glared at him but I just couldn’t be mad. Not now, not while we were preparing for a battle. Not while he and his stupid angel face looked so at peace despite the odds. 

“Took you long enough.” Lea’s voice wasn’t back to his cheerful self, but there was a hint of humour in his statement.

“I can’t believe I like you. Twelve days ago I would have killed all of you without batting an eye,” I shot back, a smile actually lingering on my lips. That was it, I had lost it and finally gone soft in the head. I smiled.

“Oh, I think you would have killed us a week ago, too.” Amalia smirked darkly. She and the others went farther ahead to their rooms while Lea followed me into mine. He helped me into black combat clothes and strapped as many weapons to me as possible. 

Victor and Anakleto had gotten rid of everything in the room that had been countermined before Amalia had asked the Castle to renew everything. Otherwise I wouldn’t have allowed Mia to be in my bedroom.

Walking over to Takumi, I brushed a kiss on Mia’s small cheek, smiling when she giggled happily. I would do anything to protect whoever Benedict had chosen to bait me with.

Lea handed the girl back to her grandmother, who looked exhausted, while Takumi gave me a white powder to swallow. 

“It will numb the pain without influencing your attentiveness.” He looked closely at me before removing the bracer. “I trust you will be careful.”

I nodded seriously. “I will.”

“Splendid.” If I wouldn’t be careful, he would kill me. There was no doubt about it.

It took us about ten minutes till we stood in the entry hall, waiting for Takumi to finish the Circle. Hardly any of us were at our best. We were exhausted, injured and desperate. It didn’t make a difference anyway. There was no way to predict what Benedict would do, even if we had a terrible idea about it. 

I accepted that the others encircled me, Lea at my back, even though he didn’t lean against it as he normally did. We were ready.

Or so I thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for reading! Only two more chapters. I'm a little nervous what you will think of the end :) But remember, this is only part one. I'm currently writing on book two! Working title: Ties to the Past.
> 
> As always lots of Love to all of you, and especially my friend and beta reader Anna!


	21. Puppies and Kittens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nice title, isn't it. Be warned: Shit is going down in this one.

I had been so fucking wrong. To give me credit, I wasn’t that wrong. Just wrong enough for me to wish I had tried to consider what Melrose would have done to prepare me.

We stood in front of a building that was unmistakably a kindergarten. Its shape was rather odd with only one floor, but it was wide, and painted in a sunny yellow and orange. All the windows were filled with colourful drawings, and even with a gun to my head I wouldn’t have been able to guess what they were supposed to show. Bile rose in my throat. Fighting down the sickness, I let my eyes wander. We were at the end of a road, a little offside from the other buildings around.

“It’s a Paien kindergarten,” Lea muttered from behind, and I didn’t want to know how he knew.

Only my self-control, earned through a lot of blood and tears, held me back. Kids were soft targets, with no or close to no option to protect themselves. But these kids were picked because of me, because Benedict knew I would care about them and because Rick had told him. Uncontrollable fury burned through my blood. Forgotten was my pain and insignificant that this was a trap. 

Before I could decide what to do, the front door opened and Benedict stepped out. In his arm, he held a child that was about four years old. I couldn’t decide if it was a boy or a girl, but it didn’t matter anyway. Their bright gold eyes shone with honest anger as it tried to wiggle itself out of their captors’ arms without any luck. Ben used more force to detain the child and I was sure he would leave bruises on the dark chocolate skin.

Two hands were on my arms and held me back. It wouldn’t do any good if I let myself be killed right now. A movement behind one of the windows confirmed what I knew as clear as that this was going to end badly. He had the upper hand. Assassins were waiting for us. And if Richard told him everything, they were waiting for me to do anything stupid. 

“Be ready,” I murmured, almost inaudible, as Benedict smiled broadly at us. 

“Come on in. I think the kids don’t want to wait any longer.” His voice, cheerful and callous, send a cold shiver down my spine. I knew that tone.

“He will kill them,” Lea whispered behind me and it cost me a great deal of willpower to not look at him. I knew he would. If we would surrender right now, it wouldn’t make a damn difference. The kids would die in any case. Their only hope was that we were able to stop the King’s Front. But how? Benedict would have staked the deck against us. We would be outnumbered, and most of the others wouldn’t be able to use their more destructive powers without endangering us or the kids.

We moved as one. I glanced to the others to see the same expression on their faces I was sporting: controlled rage. 

“Vic, Lucy,” I said under my breath. “Try to lure them.”

Both nodded slightly, Lucian to my right and Victor in front of me. 

We passed through the open door, two at a time. Lucian pressed closer to me when it was our turn. As soon as Lea had stepped through behind us, I felt his side graze my back. 

“This way.” It was the woman from the forest, unforgettable because of her glaring yellow eyes with the slit pupils. Her hair, a short ponytail, was of a dark blond. She indicated the left room at the end of what seemed a mixture between an entrance hall and locker room. At all walls stood small benches with shelves about them. Kids’ shoes, jackets, gym bags and toys lined them. This was a nightmare. 

I directed my gaze on the open door. A picture of a happy puppy was plastered over it and I glanced at the other one. A happy kitten. I focused back again on the white door with the red blood splatters, ignoring the puppy. The room behind it was decorated with even more puppies and more abstract paintings were everywhere as were toys. And blood. But not all was the red from the door. My eyes fell on the obliterated body of what, judging by the green colour of her blood, had been a forest Nymph. She wouldn’t be reborn in a seed.

A little farther into the room sat Benedict, still holding the small rebel. Four more kids were placed around him. Two were crying. The others looked to be too deep in shock to know where they were. I pressed one of the dagger hilts into my injured hand. It was all I could do to not run to them.

Behind them stood nine Paien: the volcano from before, two more fire, a water, a stone or earth Paien, something light and a few without element. I barely glanced at them. My whole concentration lay on Benedict, who kept manhandling the child in his arms as if it was a rather nasty inconvenience. 

“Does it remember you of someone, Leander?” Benedict smiled over my shoulder and I felt Lea’s shudder. “You were a troublemaker at that age, too. I thought I raised you better.”

I knew I heard a speech like that at least once every day. The fact that Lea went rigid if even just for a second made me guess he hadn’t. 

“Come back to me, brother.” There was no sympathy in his words, and no love as far as I could detect. “If you kill the Queen now, I will forgive you.”

No one moved in the seconds that felt like years. No one but the little rebel still fighting to be free.

Wordlessly, Lea turned, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him baring his right arm.

It took Benedict a second to realize what the rune meant. His smile vanished and blinding rage flashed over his features. “Stop that!” He screamed at the wriggling child in his arms as he shook. 

I lost it. Without thinking, I leapt for them, pushing past Amalia and Victor, throwing my dagger at Benedict’s face. He ducked gracefully, letting the child fall to the floor as the Paien behind him attacked.

The only reason I wasn’t instantly torched or perforated were the shields of Takumi und Lucien flaring up all around us. It wouldn’t save us for long, but it was enough to keep us alive for now. The heat was all around us as Lea started to build his attack up as well. 

I glanced down at the crying children. They seemed to be unable to move because their attackers surrounded them. I couldn’t get to them as long as Lucian and Takumi held their magic shields around us.

“Cass!” 

I threw myself down, and a heartbeat later the shields fell. Victor, Amalia and Anakleto jumped forward and attacked. I rolled out of the way and threw two of my daggers. One hit its target point blank in his heart and the attacker crumbled. The other only sliced the woman’s arm. I pushed myself up, but was thrown down by a hot weight on my back. The air was pressed out of my lungs as I tried to fight free. Another weight hit us and I nearly split my skull on the grey carpet. It took me a moment to recognize the blobs of colour as cars, trees and everything else you need for a street-system-carpet. 

“Don’t worry, Lee,” a voice hissed above me. “We’re going to have a little more fun.” It was the yellow eyed woman. 

I tried to struggle free, but was properly pinned under Lea. He must have thrown himself between me and the assassin because I couldn’t have been bothered to check my back. I would have kicked myself if I hadn’t been immobilized. 

The fight around us wasn’t as chaotic as it could have been, and I realised – with another mental kick to myself – that even though we were at a disadvantage with being outnumbered and not able to use all our powers, the King’s Front had the same problem. They were even more handicapped by the cramped room than we were. Sure, they had Benedict pushed in the far corner and we wouldn’t be able to get to him before we killed all his lackeys, but that was just a matter of time. It had to be. The kids had been shoved in the far corner as well. They would have been nothing but obstacles, and now Benedict could still hide behind them.

Beside the one attacker I killed, I saw at least two others down, killed by what seemed to be acid and a slashed jugular. From my position I couldn’t make much more out, but I heard more than enough. I couldn’t distinguish the voices, the hisses, yelps and curses over the sizzling of magic, elements and the screeching of metal. 

The growl above me resonated in my bones as Lea shoved her off of us and threw himself on her, lava dripping from his hands. As soon as I could move, I rolled out of his way, giving him as much space as I could as I scrambled to my feet. I dropped down again to avoid being hit by a magic blast that was hurled at my face. 

Dead calm spread through me and I knew a smile formed on my lips. I let go. My inculcated fighting instincts took over and rational thought backed out. There were only two things important right now: killing Benedict and keeping my own safe, and that included the kids. Whatever I had been pushed to, Melrose had never been able to torture that out of me.

By now, four of the King’s Front were dead, three more wounded. Amalia seemed to be burned at her left shoulder and arm, Takumi sported a nasty gash at his right hip, and Anakin limped. Victor and Lucian seemed okay; they were fighting at the door, where I could see at least four more Paien trying to enter. In the second it had taken me to observe all of this, my hand had already grabbed some of the small surprises Fire Paien loved so much. I jumped forwards, ramming one of the stunning arrows in the back of one of the Fires. Without waiting for their reaction, I threw my dagger at the yellow eyed assassin fighting Lea. Blood dropping from his right arm. 

I was pulling out my next dagger and stunning arrow when Amalia pushed me down with her, barely escaping a breath-taking fire whirl. I rolled, not feeling anything, not even Amalia’s hot blood against my skin. I jumped up in a swift motion and threw the dagger at the Fire, who ducked. 

I jumped forward, trying to stab him with the stunning arrow. Before I could nick his skin, a brown haired Paien stumbled in my way, slashing at me. I leaned out of reach for most of it, feeling the faint kiss of the cold metal on me chest. I twisted and kicked him against the side of his knee, taking him down and tripping Anakleto in the process when he tried to jump forward to protect me. Using his momentum, Anakleto pressed his elbow in the guy’s ribs before burning a hole through it with his hand with what was, guessing by the smell of decaying flesh, a rather nasty mixture of acid and poison.

Sensible enough to not go near his body and the recently proven very effective weapons of Anakin, I slashed at the nearest ankle of someone I didn’t know with my knife. 

Takumi fell and I threw my dagger, still blood dripping, at the grey faced Paien standing over him. She was hit in the shoulder and growled at me, her short sword still pointing to Takumi. There was no way for me to get to him in time, and no question I would try to do it anyway. Almost instantly, I was hit by a car. Or at least that’s what it felt like. I was hurled through the air, colliding with a body standing behind me and crashing into the wall behind us. It took me a moment to focus again, blinking through the haze. Two daggers already in my hands, I ignored whoever slid down the wall behind me, focusing on the Light stalking towards me. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Victor standing over Takumi. That meant the door was only covered by Lucian now, who wouldn’t be able to hold the new wave of attackers off for long. Concentrating again on the almost silver haired Paien in front of me, I propelled myself forward, only to be knocked back down by magic. My head slammed once more against the wall, this time without the cushion of another body. Stunning agony nearly split my skull, but this was not the time to faint. Almost blind, I pushed myself forward, sidestepping to my left and slipped. Crashing down, I tried to roll to the side, but was kicked forward, a body slamming down on me. I raised my dagger to cut the throat of my attacker when I suddenly smelled burnt caramel. My vision had cleared enough that I recognised Lea laying over me. I threw my dagger at where I thought he was coming from. 

Lea was already on the move, breathing hard, covering me with his body while I pushed myself up. I ignored the tremor in my legs and the dizziness, not to mention the trickling on my neck. I grabbed another one of my daggers, knowing full well that I had only three left. 

When Lea’s blazing hot hand moved me, I followed without resistance, using the momentum to hurl one of my little surprises at the yellow eyed assassin. She had been able to dodge the dagger even if her focus was on Lea, who, to judging by the heat prickling my skin, had tried to burn the Light who had attacked me. The small arrow scratched her skin, but before I could see if the poison had entered her system, I thrust myself between Lucian and a Paien that had already raised a short sword to knife him in the back. I was able to divert the blow with my dagger, but it didn’t change that it was drilled into my right shoulder. Well, that’s what you get for helping people.

Having an enemy so close to oneself has its perks. I slashed his throat and kept my dagger. Kicking him from me, I glanced back. Lucian was using his magic to protect himself and Victor, who was still standing guard over Takumi. Deciding against ripping the blade out of my shoulder, I switched the dagger from my right to my left hand, and all but cheered.

Without losing even a fraction of a second, I jumped, using the opening and threw a dagger at Benedict’s face. With a mere second of delay, my last stunning arrow followed it. He dodged both, sidestepping elegantly as he dragged the little rebel back in his arms. I grinned savagely at him. He might be fast, but he wasn’t a fighter. Before I could take another step, the window beside us shattered and a figure threw himself at me, nearly decapitating me in the process.

I was slammed into a shelf, unable to bite back a scream. I couldn’t see the Paien advancing on me, spots dancing before my eyes. But I felt his hand shoving me harder against the splintered wood. I heard the sickening moist sound when he ripped the blade out of my shoulder and smelt the salt and copper of the blood spilling over.

Slashing at him with my second to last dagger, I forced him a step back before he knocked it out of my hand. I glared at him for all I was worth, willing my sight to return and suddenly was staring into perfectly ordinary eyes: blue with a sprinkle of green in the irises. His face was androgynous but aside from that as average as they come. There was no satisfaction in his expression, no bloodlust. No feeling whatsoever. This one was a true professional.

I kicked upwards, kneeing him in his private parts. I had suspected he would wear a protective case; nevertheless it was enough to push him back a step. Ignoring everything around me, I took my last dagger, grasping at every bit of magic I’d ever learned. But I hadn’t learned anything. I had absolutely nothing. 

“Santana!” Lea stepped beside me. Blood dripping from his right arm, hatred flashing in his eyes, and brimming in his growl.

Santana – it had to be a nickname – glanced over, wholly unimpressed. Seemingly without moving a muscle, he burrowed the blade till the hilt in my shoulder as if it was its sheath. I slashed at his hip the same time, barely nicking his skin, when he pinned me with the dagger to the wood behind me. I screamed bloody murder.

Lea had gone for the kill, trying to pierce his heart through his ribcage. He failed. The grey of kevlar flashed through the ripped white shirt. Santana grabbed Lea by the throat with a movement so fast, I’d barely seen it. Gloves protected his hands as I felt Lea heat up, grabbing for a patch of Santana’s skin to burn him without endangering me.

I tried to rip free, but the piercing pain convinced me I would black out before I could accomplish anything. Looking past the fighting duo, I locked eyes with Benedict. The cruel smile on his face was real and true. No remorse for what he did. For what-

Heat exploded out of Lea and I felt my skin burn. Santana was thrown back and before Lea could jump on him, Amalia dropped down on the killer. I looked back and saw Lucian being struck down. He must have aided her to get to us. Wrath replaced the pain fighting for my attention.

Amalia grabbed the face of Santana in both of her hands and I felt a shift in the atmosphere. I had no clue what she had done, but Santana crumbled. He felt back motionless, eyes empty of colour and life. Amalia dropped down beside him, convulsing.

One heartbeat. I had followed Amalia’s fight for one heartbeat too long. Although if I hadn’t looked, there was not much I could have done pinned to the wall like a damned butterfly.

Lea moved, shielding me with his body as a storm of fire engulfed us. The air was ripped out of my lungs. Lea’s arms trembled on both sides of me as the heat steadily increased around us. He couldn’t be hurt by it, but he could exhaust himself trying to dim the heat like that.

I fought for oxygen but all I got was searing hot air, burning my throat and lungs. Lea locked eyes with me, rage and determination clear as day in them. We needed to move and we needed to move now. I nodded. 

He ripped the blade out of my shoulder, pressing his hand on the gushing wound, cauterizing it at least from the front. For a second I blacked out, my conscious burnt in the searing pain melting my flesh. I struggled back to reality before Lea could push me down. The fire storm stopped abruptly and I looked over Lea’s shoulder. 

Anakleto had thrown himself on Benedict, stopping his attack with no concern for his own safety. Lucian fought beside him, shielding him from the last seven attackers while Victor fought them from behind. Distantly I heard more glass shatter.

“Do it!” Lea screamed, pain exploding in those short words. 

Anakleto’s hands dripped acid, but Benedict wasn’t one to give up. He still clutched the screaming child to himself, using it as a shield. The others were, surprisingly, unharmed as far as I could tell.

I threw myself forward, my legs buckling beneath me, but I was able to reach Benedict. Screams – I was sure I didn’t imagine them – grew louder. I didn’t care. I snatched the motionless child out of his arm while Anakin hold him still. With my last strength, I rolled us away, pressing the trembling bundle to my chest. 

Trampling steps neared and I pushed myself up for what I knew was the last time. Not caring what happened to me as long as we got the children to safety, I forced myself in a crouching position. 

Anakleto hadn’t hesitated. He had pinned Benedict to the floor, one hand at his throat, one over his heart. I smelled the burning of flesh. It could be any of us, but I was sure it was his. Benedict wasn’t dead yet. He struggled against the pain and Anakleto’s grip, even though I knew, Anakleto would never let him get up again.

Anakleto looked at me and I realized he was waiting for my approval. It should be easy. He had endangered at least fifty kids today alone. He wanted to kill all of us. He was sick and would never stop, I was sure of it. But I couldn’t give it. I had promised Lea.

More Paien streamed into the room and I knew we were done for. I nodded. Benedict couldn’t survive, to hell with what happened to us, but he couldn’t be allowed to be free.

Anakleto’s hand sizzled anew and pushed through Benedict’s chest as if it was nothing, melting the flesh, bone and organs in his way.

Lea rushed for and I saw him taking one of his brother’s hands in his own. Tearing my eyes from him, I looked at our new attackers. They weren’t clothed in black combat gear, but normal wear. They had weapons in hands, but beside normal daggers and one sword, they were kitchen knives and hammers.

I pushed myself up, letting the child slide to the floor, raising my arms. “We are here to protect your kids!” I all but screamed, pointing to the seven remaining of the King’s Front. “They…” But I swayed, only barely keeping myself upright. “The blond one…” I tried again, but it was already too late.

Victor had raised his hands, throwing up a protection wall of water around himself, backing away to Takumi. Lucian, panting, kept the shield up he was holding on to with what looked like pure willpower. 

What I suspected to be the parents slammed into the attackers, bringing them down. I was sure most of them hadn’t been in a proper fight before, or at least hadn’t been in a long time. The only reason they won, even if they were far more of them, was that the King’s Front members were already weakened. 

I stumbled forwards, ignoring that I heard Benedict curse his brother with his last breath. I ignored the peaceful powerlessness licking at my senses, dimming them one by one. I didn’t look back at Amalia who I wasn’t sure had been far enough away to not been burned to a crisp by Benedict. I didn’t look back at the traumatized kids.

I tripped against Lucian, who caught me, losing his grip on the shield. The wall of rainbow colours vanished and I held out my arm with what felt like the last drop of strength. “’m Queen…” I mumbled. “Protect…”

I fell, desperately trying to grasp at the last strands of awareness. 

Arms caught me and helped me glide down. Voices toned in and out while I tried my damndest to regain my focus. Another touch, foreign to the one before, lifted me up and I tried to struggle.

“No, Cass,” I heard someone familiar whisper, although the pain in their voice was devastating. “They are helping.” 

I believed it. 

 

Waking up sucks. That’s no news to anyone, I’m sure. Sleep – if not interrupted by nightmares – is a beautiful retreat without pain. Waking up in the morning sucks. But it can’t even be compared to waking up after blacking out. Of course, that was still a piece of cake to waking up during a medical procedure after you were all but put through a meat grinder. 

Take a fucking guess to what I woke up to. 

Whoever worked on me had the mercy to drug me immediately. It still took long minutes before the painkillers kicked in, and I could at least breathe somewhat without fainting again. As the pain subsided, I realized someone held my hand down. I tried to move it and panic spiked when I couldn’t.

“Cass.” 

I made myself open my eyes, looking at the speaker. Lea. He was holding on to my hand as if he feared I’d vanish if he let go. Pain laced his features, deep and numbing.

“The others?” I rasped out of my dry throat, tasting blood.

“They’re fine.” Lie. “A little roughed up, but nothing too worse.”

“The kids?” 

“Unharmed aside from shock.” Truth. 

I let my eyes slip close again, pressing his hand. “Sorry.”

He returned the squeeze. “We’ll be fine.” Hope.

Although it took me three days to gain full consciousness again – Takumi insisted that drugging me for the first two days had been medically essential – I had realized far sooner that Lea was a fucking liar. It was true that most of the kids hadn’t been physically hurt, but they were traumatized. Two of the kindergarten teachers had been brutally murdered. The other five were injured but would survive. One of them had been able to send a message to one parent before she had been forced to get the children to the small gym right outside of the kindergarten.

As for the others being roughed up, that had been possibly the understatement of the century. I knew he had wanted to calm me, but I would pay him back for that one. Not only were all of us at least lightly burned – aside from Lea because of obvious reasons – we also had multiple slashes and bruises all over. And that was merely the beginning.

The only reason most of us were mobile – not to mention alive – was that one of the parents who came to save their children was a healer. As soon as they had realized how bad we all were, they had called for all healers they knew. Between the near hundred parents that had come, there had been eleven more who had dropped everything and run to our aid. Two or three of them could give even Takumi a run for his money. Not because of their powers, but simply their experience. It still had taken them three days to heal the worst of our injuries. Maybe you ask yourselves: What could take twelve very accomplished healers to need three days for only seven Paien? Let me fucking explain in detail.

Takumi had been knocked down while trying and succeeding in laying a protection over the four children out of Benedict’s reach. He had a bruised rip, a deep gush on his right hip, a concussion and a laceration at the back of his head. And that had made him one of the healthier ones of our bunch.

Amalia had had severe burns on her left arm and shoulder, a deep slash across her ribcage over her left side, and a severe shock. She hadn’t really known what she was doing when she had flung herself at Santana. In her words: “I was fairly certain the rune would kill me before I could kill the Queen.” How fucking reassuring. She was directly below Lea on my shit-list. 

Anakleto’s left calf had been deeply slashed, and he sported severe burns where he had connected with Benedict: both hands, forearms and knees. Because he couldn’t have been bothered to think before flinging himself on a burning Fire Paien.

Lucian had had a gash at his right temple, a black eye beneath it, deep bruises, a broken ankle and a couple of bruised ribs. And he had drained himself of nearly all of his magic.

Victor fainted about two seconds after me – at least that made me feel a little better about my own weakness – because he too had drained himself of all his magic while trying to protect Takumi. Aside from a lot of deep cuts, his right wrist had been broken.

Lea, who had fought Arien, who apparently had been his biggest rival as best assassin in the King’s Front. Better known as the yellow eyed woman. He had been all but filleted by her. Santana, to my shame, had been human and just hired as a surprise, but the joke was on Benedict, as Lea had still predicted it. The worst cuts were on his chest and right arm, one of them nearly opening his arteria brachialis. She had also broken three of his ribs. The most harmless of his injuries had been his bruised throat.

I would have liked to kill all of them for what they had let the King’s Front do to them, but I had outdone myself. Even for my standards. Aside from my hand – actually not that worse from before – and my back – agitated beyond oblivion, Takumi would definitely kill me for that one – I too had had a laceration on the back of my head, a rather big bump on the forehead and with that a concussion and centrifugal trauma. Additional I had two broken ribs, a slash across my chest and a few deep bruises. The most spectacular injury had been my shoulder, twice stabbed and cauterized on the battlefield by a hand.

As already mentioned, I had been sedated most of the time. Takumi could stick his assurance that the first two days had been medical necessity where the sun didn’t shine because I knew at least the third one was revenge. Even though he denied it vehemently. 

The healers had worked on us in shifts, consulting even more of their colleagues and nearly draining all of their magic. The results spoke for themselves. Even though we all would retain scars of this lovely memory, we were healed. Not just patched up, but healed. Sure, a few things lingered and it would take a few days more before it would stop stinging, but we were fine. It was a miracle made possible by twelve dedicated Paien and sixty-seven families demanding to be as helpful as they could be after we saved their children.

No one had mentioned to them that it was our fault that the kids had been in danger in the first place. My fault.

I kept quiet when the families came to thank us and just accepted it. Lucian, Anakleto and Victor had taken to playing the game of who owed who more, skilfully losing to the parents’ overwhelming thanks every time. Takumi and another healer had moved Brigitte, Toni and Mia out of the Castle and into a hospital near their family. As I had been drugged, there had been no way for me to say goodbye to the little girl. Funny how something so insignificant could still hurt. Takumi checked up on them every day, keeping me informed. It didn’t change the pain. 

Amalia and Lea, if I could believe anyone, hadn’t left my side for a second. Together with our PR team – which was what Amalia liked to call Lucian, Anakleto and Victor since they started talking to the parents – they had made sure I was as shielded from the Paien all but dying to thank me personally. Well, as much as they could. We had ended up staying with a family of one of the four kids being used as a protective shield by Benedict. They had forced the parent’s bedroom, living and guest room on us. As neither of us had been particularly coherent at the time, there was nothing we could have done about it.

It had become apparent to me that none of the others had left me if at all avoidable. The mere thought that the magic would change them like that frightened me. Although I was glad that I could make sure they were okay, even if I would take that thought to my grave. As soon as I had at least half my brain power back, I asked Amalia and Lucian if they had reported back to their loved ones. Obviously, I had been under the influence.

After accepting all the thanks, gifts and blessings from all the families too obstinate for their own good, we were finally able to leave. Stepping out of the Circle in the entrance hall was a relief. The magic of the Castle almost knocked me down and energized me at the same time. 

Lea’s hand was on my arm in an instant. “Cass?”

“The Castle is a little exuberant.” A smile flashed over my lips as the lights started flickering all around us. “We missed you too.” The flickering stopped and warmth flooded my chest.

“You sure you are alright? You look stoned.”

I glared at Amalia, who ignored me convincingly. I still saw the flicker of worry. It was something I had become familiar on all of them and myself. Another thing I would never tell them.

Everyone seemed a little hesitant. The last four days had changed us and no one was quite sure what it meant. The lightness of the Castles good mood got the better of me and the smile came back to my lips.

“What do you think about going out for dinner?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, they survived. Kind of. Just a little warning: the next one is the last Chapter of Throne. I am currently writing book 2, but as I'm also currently writing my Bachelor Thesis I can't promise you how long it will take. 
> 
> If you don't like cliffhangers, maybe wait till "Ties to the Past" is done...
> 
> And I have a question for all of you: Would you prefer for me to post the chapters of "Ties to the Past" as soon as my lovely beta reader is done with them or wait till I finished the whole book?
> 
> As always: thank you for reading! And thank you for sticking with Cass!


	22. Surprise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case I ask this question also at the beginning of the chapter: Would you prefer for me to post the chapters of "Ties to the Past" as soon as my lovely beta reader is done with them or wait till I finished the whole book?
> 
> Have fun :)

It had taken me about three hours to get the others to agree. Three hours in which I was blamed to be too stupid to be let out of the Castle. Takumi had been begged by both Anakleto and Victor to drug me again, and Lea, far from being his old self, had shadowed me so closely I was starting to feel stalked.

In the end I had gotten them to agree that we couldn’t let our lives be ruled by fear, and that it felt like fear to stay behind the safe Castle walls tonight. I accepted that they chose a human location and even agreed to cloth myself inconspicuously. Meaning no black, no showing of scars or my runes and very few weapons. The Castle seemed to feel cheated on when we decided to eat somewhere else, even though it had provided us with different menus from human restaurants. I had no clue how it got them, or why it blatantly had a field day when I asked it for flowery clothes. It offered me the most ridiculous clothes choices before I decided on light blue jeans, a light red shirt and a dark grey blazer. You read right. A blazer. 

My shoulder, back and hand were only a little unpleasant when loaded. I got a bunch of new scars but refused to wear gloves to hide the one on my hand. It was superficial, and I would refrain from showing any human my hand palm up.

Meeting with the others in the entrance hall – aside from Lea, who had let the Castle bring him his clothes to my room – I thought only one word seemed appropriate for us: harmless. We all had tried to dress as harmless and colourful as possible. Even Amalia wore something else than black. Granted, it was a dark shade of red, but it wasn’t black.

We were almost cheerful. Although everyone looked a little on edge, too. But when nothing spectacular happened aside from Victor spilling some ketchup on his white shirt, everyone relaxed. We talked, exchanging everyday stories. Even Lea lost a little of the tension radiating off of him, and I saw his lip move when Anakleto and Lucian burst out laughing. We actually had fun. 

Of course, that was when life, once again, chose to remind me that it was out to get me. Surprise! Not that I had ever doubted that. But the sheer amount of dedication it had to piss me off was admirable. 

It began when I got up to leave and the world started spinning dangerously. Lea, Amalia and Lucian seemed to have similar problems, and since the most hardcore drink we had was Coke – not Takumi, he had stuck to water – I doubted it had anything to do with alcohol. 

I bit down on the growl that wanted to escape my lips. Forcing myself upright, I followed Anakleto out of the restaurant and down a rather dark alley where we had Circled in. He seemed unaffected, as did Victor and Takumi. Could be that the three of them, at least Victor and Anakleto, weren’t as vulnerable to most poisons or because the three would have noticed it sooner. I was leaning towards the latter one. 

Stumbling against Victor, I felt my hand being grabbed by Lea’s warm one, uncertain but determined. It wasn’t a good idea to go where we came from, but it was too hard to speak and stay upright at the same time.

“Takumi, we should…” Anakleto’s sentence was cut short by a new voice. 

“Don’t move.” 

Under normal circumstances, that wouldn’t have stopped any of us. Right now, four of us were useless, and judging by the quiet rustle of clothes and the scraping of metal, we were probably outnumbered three to one. 

“If you try anything, the Queen dies first.” 

I saw at least five figures, and that was just before me. All of them cloaked in anthracite hoods.

Lea’s hot back pressed against mine, but I believed the cold voice. I had no idea how they had found us – or who the hell they were – but they were good. Damn good. A week ago, a few of them might have tried to fight, but after just surviving Benedict, the rune of the companions would make sure they wouldn’t endanger me. 

Before I could do just that – trying to drown the guilt that threatened to overtake me – Takumi, Anakleto and Victor gave up. We were all restrained and blindfolded, and Lea struggled even more than I did when they separated us. The only reason he stopped had been that they put a dagger to my throat. The only reason I stopped was that Victor swore at me to fucking back down.

It was against my nature, against everything I was taught and what I knew was right. I still gave in. 

They loaded us in vans – I imagined black ones, something I found rather ludicrous. Although that could have been the drugs. I had decided poison would have other effects on us. But independently from the haze in my head, I knew we were screwed. Our kidnappers were strategic, well prepared and annoyingly clever. They had separated me from the others, making sure they wouldn’t try anything, and neither would I. They had handcuffed us with cable ties, stopping at least my blood circulation and blindfolded us with scarfs. The most annoying part was probably that a few hairs were stuck in the knot and really started to agitate my scalp.

We drove for what felt like hours. As that also meant the drowsiness subsided, I didn’t complain. In fact, I hadn’t said a word, hoping that our kidnappers would let something slip, anything. But they didn’t. They didn’t talk at all. Didn’t even turn on the radio. 

I moved my hands as inconspicuous as possible, trying to keep the blood circulation running. They had frisked us for weapons, but missed a needle like dagger I had hidden in my left sock. It may seem like paranoia to others, but is it paranoia if the world is out to get you?

It wouldn’t be enough to save us in an open fight, but it could make the difference later on.

When the car stopped, I was tempted to sigh. Finally. Nothing was worse than waiting. But I didn’t sigh. Never show your enemy your weakness and never show them your fear.

“Get up.” It was another voice, also male and cold. Strong hands grabbed my arms and yanked me out of the car. They didn’t let me fall, but they weren’t exactly gentle either.

“Cass!” Lea shouted and I heard a meaty thump. They had probably just boxed him in the stomach.

“Wait,” I ordered, hopefully loud enough for all of them to hear.

“Shut up,” the cold voice hissed at me and pushed me forward. I stumbled, still a little unsteady on my feet, and nearly split my head on the stairs that no one had felt the need to tell me about.

“Watch out!” The man rasped, annoyed, and I could only barely keep my mouth shut. Maybe they were prepared and strategic, but I wasn’t so sure about the clever part anymore.

I was dragged up nine stairs before the air around us changed and I knew I was inside a building. They forced us down what must be a rather long hall. The sound of our steps reminded me of the Castle, marble or at least polished stone. It was warm and a faint smell of food lingered in the air. We were definitely somewhere inhabited. Concern leaked into my mind. What the hell was going on?

I listened closely to every noise, especially the steps following me. The others were still being hauled along. At least that was a comfort. I refrained from biting my lip or kicking myself, as that would have maybe raised a few questions. Having them here wasn’t a comfort, or at least it shouldn’t be. They were a liability to me as much as I was to them. All those nice logical thoughts went down the drain when I heard a door been opened behind me. The slight squeak of hinges was unmistakable. They were going to separate us. 

“Cass?” It was Lea’s voice again. He had hidden all his emotions, but the urgency was all too obvious in his question.

I was dragged farther along as I heard the ripping of fabric and the scrimmage ensuing. 

“I’ll be fine,” I called back. Clearly none of us would be, but as long as they were together, they had a chance.

“Cass!” Victor’s voice, angry with just a hint of desperation. But it didn’t make a difference. I was pushed forward to keep up my pace. Stumbling, I hit my right shoulder at what could have been furniture but I was sure was a pillar and hissed. Pain jolted down my spine and I pressed my lips together. A hand grabbed my upper arm and led me to my left, probably positioning me in the middle of the way. Judging by the size of it, it was a male hand. He didn’t let go.

Concentrating on my surroundings, I tried to ban the others out of my thoughts. We had been kidnapped without being injured. That meant either they weren’t yet convinced they wanted to kill us, or they wanted to enjoy every minute of it. If they were still undecided, I needed to be as unthreatening, cunning and – shudder – charming as I could. 

We were all doomed.

Our pace was reduced and I heard a door being opened. The hand on my arm guided me in and then stopped me abruptly. I waited. Long seconds nothing happened. I only heard the faint ruffle of clothes and the closing of the door we had just stepped through.

Without warning, someone ripped the scarf from my head and tore those hairs stuck in the knot out along with it. I wrenched my eyes open, only to be blinded by the glaring lights all around. Blinking, I waited for my eyes to adjust to the brightness.

I stood in an oval shaped room, far too big to be in an ordinary house. The decorations on the ceiling and walls were exquisite, and nearly as beautiful as in the Castle. The floor was black and white marble. This was at least a manor, if not a castle itself. The shackles, enough for four people each on the walls to the left and right, fit right in. This wasn’t a dungeon nor a ballroom. My gaze lingered just for a moment on the white marble block in front of me. It couldn’t have been more obviously an executioner’s block if they had engraved it.

I looked up and met the emotionless light-grey eyes of the man before me. He was at least a head higher than me with slender shoulders. I was pretty sure he was a man, although his stature was hidden under a wide anthracite cloak as all of our kidnappers had been. The other six people in the room were dressed the same. Six? I was flattered. 

The man also wore a face mask and gloves of the same material. The hood was a little overkill, but as I was standing here in my most colourful outfit I probably had ever worn, I couldn’t really judge.

“Who do I owe the pleasure of being here?” My voice was light, almost cheerful, and I hated myself for it. I smiled dauntless at him, staring in his almost colourless eyes, relaxing my stance as much as I could force myself to. 

“You are courteous. I like that.” His voice was muffled by the mask, but even so, it was gentle and harmonic. Of course it was. His hands were probably slender and elegant, perfect for playing the piano or throttling. 

“Unfortunately, I’m not able to say the same for you.” My smile slipped. “You could have asked for an appointment, you know?”

His light-grey eyes, so light they almost looked transparent, were trained on me, taking in every detail. He took his time, and I forced myself to stare right back. “The girl who bears our most sacred title. Guardian of Righteousness. Queen of the Paien.” His voice, beautiful and soft, hid everything, but I still felt the contempt radiating off of him.

“That’s me.” I smiled. No expression of mine would ever be called angelic, but I knew that smile was as close as I would ever get. This piece of shit hadn’t kidnapped us just to taunt me. Hadn’t he something better to do?

“For centuries, we managed without any of your kind. We don’t need you.”

“I believe there are varying opinions on that subject.” I kept the ebullient smile on my lips. My hands had stopped tingling, and I knew restarting the blood circulation would be a bitch and a half. There was no way for me to move them without him seeing it. 

“A few days ago, we stopped an attack of the King’s Front. The leaders are dead, but…”

“I heard.” His tone had lost some of its warmth but I couldn’t pinpoint if it was because of what we did or because of the King’s Front. I didn’t believe them to be sympathizers of Benedict, but then again, the enemy of my enemy is not automatically my friend. For just a second, I contemplated to ask him what he knew. Lea had said that almost all the important leaders had been there and were therefore killed by us, but aside from that we knew only faint whispers of rumours provided by the parents. I decided against it. Never admit to know less than your enemy.

“I hear your subjects are putting up a fight.” The casual tone was as forced as my smile, but it didn’t matter either way.

“They are not my subjects.” It was all but a growl, guttural and low. I forced myself to relax again, to hide – to put it mildly – my annoyance. Better known as homicidal fury.

“Are there not? I was under the impression they laid their lives to your feet for you to use as you see fit.”

“I wouldn’t quite put it that way.” I forced my pulse to calm. It didn’t work. But I was able to paint a new smile on my lips. “They committed to the throne as did I.”

“Did you?” He stepped closer, his movements fast and precise. He stared down at me, but I refused to lift my head. His words were reproachful, as if I had begged to sit on the damn throne.

“I didn’t ask to be Queen.”

“And yet you are.”

“Do you think I had a choice?” My pulse elevated again. “The others and…”

“I’ll come to them in a minute. You are a Dragonslayer.” Accusation wasn’t cutting it. What he hurled at me was pure hatred.

“I was born as one.” There was no use in denying the truth. Either they knew me – which could explain their guise – or they had heard it from the King’s Front. It didn’t matter. What did matter, greatly so, was that he didn’t appear to despise the others as much as he clearly loathed me.

“You don’t like to accept responsibility, do you? To what kind of Queen does that make you?” His nearly colourless eyes were full of revulsion. I’d seen that before. Hell, I’d seen that look in the mirror more often than I could count. Still, it got my blood boiling. 

“What do you want from me? I was born into a family of Dragonslayers. The only reason I was accepted as the Queen I might add. My blood makes me what I am. I didn’t choose to sit on the throne. Even so, why would I justify myself to you?” I spat at him.

The sword blade was a blur until it came to rest at my throat. I would have stepped back if the one clutching my shoulder would have let me.

“You don’t need to know.” Grey eyes glared at me. “Your kind is responsible for so much suffering. Your clan will have to pay for all eternity for what you did.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could say the first word I felt the sting of cold metal on my skin. Hot drops trickled down my throat and I glared at him. It wasn’t a deep cut but if he wanted to hurt me, he should just go ahead. Stop with whatever bullshit it was he was doing and just end me.

“You said it yourself.” He sheathed his sword again, leaning for and touched his gloved fingers to my blood. “Your blood makes you what you are.”

Well, look at that. I had dug myself a cosy grave. Lovely. 

“There are two ways this can end.” 

Finally. A new smile slipped on my lips, cold, calm and a little murderous. 

“You fight us. All surviving will be allowed to leave.” His eyes and voice were blank. I was about to ask whether we would fight one on one or as a group – both would be too good to be true – when the second option erased everything else in my mind. 

“Or you yield and we let the others go.”

I faltered, starring incredulously at him. “What?”

His eyes narrowed. “You sacrifice yourself for your subjects.”

“You would kill just me?”

He glared at me disgustedly, as if he scorned my obtuseness. “Yes.”

I stared disbelievingly in those hate filled eyes. He couldn’t be serious. If he wanted to, he could torture us one after another, dropping us like flies. There was absolutely nothing we could do to save us. Why would he be satisfied with just my death? Granted, he did seem to hate me specifically, and killing the others could possibly end in blood feuds, but was that enough to let them live? The storm of thoughts died down as I accepted the only important question right now: Could I afford to mistrust his words? What would I lose if he lied to me? Maybe he tried to find out if I cared for the others so that he could torture them before my eyes, but aside from that? Nothing. If he didn’t mean his offer, we were dead anyway, or at least I was. There were no drawbacks. He offered me a way out on a silver platter. This had to be a lie. But what did he get out of it? If he killed the others after I died, it wouldn’t hurt me. So why give me a chance to believe I had a meaningful death if he didn’t mean it? I was absolutely certain he didn’t want to make it easier for me.

Chances were that this was a lie. He probably just wanted to see me give up. He wanted to see the despair in my eyes when he told me that it wouldn’t change anything, and he would kill the others too. In the end, it wouldn’t make a fucking difference.

“Yes.” There was an eager tone under the coldness. The smile had died on my lips. I would do it to save the lives of six Paien, of Unmenschen. I suppressed the manic laughter that tried to burst free. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The man in front of me glared at me. “What?”

“If you swear that the others are free to go, you can do whatever you want to me. I won’t fight back.”

For one moment, I thought the world had stopped. The almost colourless eyes stared at me as if he hadn’t understood what I said. The moment ended and he gave a hand signal. I heard the ruffle of clothes and the opening of the door in my back.

“Are you sure? You would have a chance.”

I remembered the first option and what it could mean. Five days ago, I would have decided differently. We were all good fighters, and I believed that we would have a chance against them. It didn’t make a difference now. I wouldn’t risk any of them.

“Do you swear that they will be fine?” I asked, my voice cracking. It was almost imperceptible but I knew he had heard it.

“They will not be harmed as long as you do what we demand.”

I nodded. I believed him because I had to. The hope in my chest cut off everything else, nearly suffocating me.

“We will decapitate you right here.” He indicated the white marble block, and a smile flashed over my lips.

“I guessed that much.” The smile stayed where it was. “As soon as I know that the others are safe.” 

“No.” He made another gesture, and the guy holding my arm stepped beside me and cut the plastic binding my hands. Begrudgingly, the blood started moving again, sending jolts of pain through my arms. For one heartbeat, I thought about fighting them. I was sure I could get to a sword. I was also sure even without a weapon I would be able to kill at least two of them. They would kill me, undoubtedly, but I would take some of them with me. And the others.

I dropped the thought just like that. I, who had fought all her life. If I could save the others through my death, I would go willingly. Shane would understand. He had to.

“We will let them go after you fulfilled your part,” he stated harshly. “Or option one.”

Doubts spread again, feeding of my will to live and of the promises I made. 

“Do I have your word?” I stared into his eyes, the only thing I could see of my soon-to-be-killer, searching for anything. I hadn’t detected a lie yet, but that didn’t mean he was telling the truth. I needed to hear it one more time. Was I that credulous or that desperate? Or both?

Steps neared behind us, too many to count individually. I didn’t turn but kept staring in his eyes.

“You have my word.”

“Okay.” There had been something in them, but not a lie. I blinked and turned as I heard a noise. Each one of the others were being escorted into the room by two hooded figures. They didn’t fight as their hands were bound with the shackles over their heads while their feet were bound to metal rings on the floor. Lea, Victor and Lucian were tied up to my right and Amalia, Anakleto and Takumi to my left. I knew they must want to fight as badly as I had. Instead they held still to protect each other, to protect me.

I let my gaze wander over all of them. They didn’t seem hurt. They were still blindfolded, but fine. In a searing flash, I remembered their runes. What would happen to them if I let myself be killed? What would happen to them if they were here and couldn’t protect the Queen?

The leader gave another signal and all their blindfolds were ripped from their faces.

“I don’t want them to see that.” My words were just a pained whisper. “Please.” I didn’t want them to be here, to think they could have stopped this. I didn’t want Lea to see this.

“This is not your decision.”

Too late I realized I could have been wrong. What if he hated the companions of then Queen more than the Queen herself? What if he knew what would happen to them when I died? What if he wanted to make them suffer and I had willingly agreed to that?

“Cass!” They screamed my name and I couldn’t bring myself to look at them. I heard them rip at their chains, threatening our attackers, all the while screaming their lungs out.

“CASS!” 

My eyes jerked to Lea. His mask had shattered and all his emotions were there to see. His pain and agony, the betrayal and fury. The desperation and fear.

I inhaled, steeling myself for what had to be done, and looked back at my executioner. It wasn’t easy to surrender. This was my first time to yield. I had been broken, yes, but I had never given up like this. Even broken, I had known that I had to fight, that I had to win, to honour the promise I made to never give up. In the end it was far too easy. I looked down on the marble, feeling the eyes of everyone in the room on me, lowering my head. Giving in. Just like that.

I exhaled while the agonized cries around me became more desperate. They screamed my name. Begging me to stop, to fight.

I closed my eyes, inhaling once more, and knelt down. 

“CASS! NO!” 

I exhaled and opened my eyes. I wouldn’t die with closed eyes. I wouldn’t die as a coward. Kneeling before the man who would take my head, I allowed myself to look at the others one more time. Seeing their faces made it easier to ignore my beating heart. They would be safe, and hopefully, they would be fine too.

I inhaled for the last time. 

They had sworn their lives to the Queen until their death, but when I died, they could be free. With any luck, they wouldn’t even grief for me. Without the rune they wouldn’t have any magic corrupting them, so they should be fine. They would have a job to do, and at least Anakin, Lucian and Takumi wouldn’t abandon our responsibility. My eyes came to a halt on Lea. He would mourn, but Takumi wouldn’t allow him to follow me. Before I thought about it, I tipped my left hand to the place on my right forearm where I knew he had his rune. The ghost of a smile grazed my lips and I bend forward.

The marble was icy cold against my skin. Shane could never know what happened today.

The metallic screech of metal against metal was almost inaudible over the despairing screams of what could have been my family.

I exhaled one last time, and let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me... too much. 
> 
> Would you prefer for me to post the chapters of "Ties to the Past" (book 2) as soon as my lovely beta reader is done with them or wait till I finished the whole book?
> 
> Thank you so much for reading the first book of the Cass Pirk Novels! I hope you enjoyed it and I would be ever so much thankful if you would comment!
> 
> Thank you all - especially you, Anna, who helped me get this out into the world!

**Author's Note:**

> All my love goes to my beta reader Anna, who has encouraged and helped me more than I can ever repay! I love you, dear!
> 
> I also want to thank Buffy, who also encouraged me with her delightful comments!
> 
> And of course to any of my readers! Thank you so much!
> 
> Here is the link to the cover I made: https://queenofalotofdifferentworlds.tumblr.com/image/179053270413
> 
> FYI: The word "Paien" is from the Cal Leandros Novels by Rob Thurman. I love her books and wanted to honor her work by using her word for everything not-human.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Intermittent Souls](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17273597) by [Norelica](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Norelica/pseuds/Norelica)




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